Years ago, after birth of my first child, I had a spiritual experience.
I have written about it on and off, but I am now determined to see it through to completion.
This is what I wrote, that day, many years ago, when the experience started:
"I am feeling a shift. All my life experiences are coming together and converging into this moment.
I sense that my whole life - all of the information, books, news, movies, music, friends and family, all of the different points of view, ideas and perspectives – are starting to connect.
There are the ideas I rejected immediately as being false or wrong. There are ideas that lingered, hidden in the back of my mind, to be quietly pondered upon or investigated in secret. There are pleasant ideas and concepts that I may not have wholly believed but could not automatically explain away or discard either. And there are those things I always knew to be true and good – the truths that jived with my being from the first time I heard or saw them, even if presented as fictitious stories. Some stories you know deep down inside contain a profound and wonderful truth and are only told in a conceptual way to represent something that is otherwise unexplainable.
All of these seemingly disconnected and unrelated dots in the pattern of my mind are coming to the surface. The culmination of a lifetime of information rises from ideas I might have stored away as not entirely making sense and ideas I thought I might never know to be true.
In the blink of an eye, in one moment, all of these fragments converge like a sudden blast of colliding stars, and everything becomes crystal clear. All the dots connect. Every piece becomes meaningful, significant, and, most of all, now makes sense. I can see a cosmic pattern in what previously seemed like chaos.
But not just a pattern from the things I believed to be accurate but also from things I thought were not true, or at least that I was taught were not true.
It's a coherent pattern and connection of things seen and unseen so big that no mind could ever conceive it, nor words accurately describe it.
And it just happened to me. It feels like a Divine mistake, as though the gates of Heaven have accidentally opened, and I can see truth.
I feel awake for the first time. The scripture, "Now you see as though through a veil, then you will see clearly," comes to mind.
I notice symbols interlaced everywhere, into the whole fabric of life, like breadcrumbs leading the way back home, back to myself, back to the truth."
- Marie-Josee Borduas, Rebirth
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