I wrote this last week, but for some reason it wouldn’t let me publish it. So here I am today, trying yet again to post it ❤️
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1st August 2023 … I’m sitting here, chilling on the couch after picking the kids up from school, feeling utterly overwhelmed with emotion.
Its a ball that sits in my chest aching to be released.
Music helps to release it and has been an absolute crutch for me over these past few weeks.
I’m battling two things right now - my mental breakdown, and the fact I’m weaning myself off my current anti-depressants (with the support of my GP).
I went and saw my GP last week. My therapist said “it’s time” and she was right.
My GP was amazing, but like with anything in life, all good things take time.
It would seem my anti-depressants aren’t working so he has recommended I change them, whilst at the same time referring me to a psychiatrist to see if we can delve deeper into this brain of mine.
Psych appointments take time as there is usually a long wait, but weaning off anti-depressants do too.
As much as I wish there was a quick fix, there isn’t.
So I’m weaning myself off my meds but my GP has given me an anti-psychotic to help balance it out PLUS help me sleep because I haven’t had a proper sleep in years.
I’ve started paying attention to the moments that bring me joy in life and I’ve started writing them down. Remembering the times I laugh out loud. Enjoying my daily walks in a space that makes me feel like I’m in another world.
I love baking and writing and connecting with people online. I actually enjoy cleaning and tidying up too (when I have the energy to do so).
I’m trying to change my mindset slowly by focusing on the positives.
I might not be posting on social media as frequently but I’m still online.
I’ve really enjoyed these past two weeks and just wanted to post an update for you all.
Hope you are all doing okay x