My newborn premie is growing stronger every day. She finally got to spend time with her big brother.
There’s nothing I LOVE more than having BOTH of my kids with me. I’d spend every day, all day with them if I could.
Jacob is the absolute best son a dad could hope for. It’s hard watching him carry the weight of his whole world on his 12 year old shoulders. It kills me watching anyone in his life put more stress on him when all I want to do is take everything on for him. I’d fucking take the cancer myself if I could, if someone HAS to have it. I’d trade places with him in a heartbeat if it would just give him a damn break. He needs a break.
No kid should have to worry about this. No kid should be told they have to take their cancer seriously and be made to start taking on medical responsibility. It’s not how I want things to be.
I stand up for him whenever I can. It’s a balance of being his advocate and not making waves for him with other people when I’m not there to protect him. I love my kids more than anything. I’m not a spoiled suburban boy funded by parents. Everything I worked for, I worked for HARD. Even then, I’ve never had a lot.
And, As a father, as a dad, NEVER a moment of regret on giving whatever I have to take care of my kids.
…
Jacob is having surgery tomorrow.
Another wait for test results.
Another anxious wait.
Knowing no matter the results, we have to blindly trust the doctors.
I never show my worry in front of my kids. My boy picks up on it, and all I want to do is lighten his day.
It’s not easy having faith, in trusting that everything will be ok.
But, it has to. It has to work, he has to be ok after this. He is going to win and beat this. There isn’t another option I’m going to accept.
