The normal response to “I love you” used to be “I love you too”. So where did “I love you more” come from? Who said it first? A lady or a guy?
These questions filled my head as I walked home from work. My brain went into overdrive and decided it was a good time to get creative. So I thought I should snitch on my brain and blog about it. Also, blogging on unschooled thoughts gets you both educated and roasted in the comments. A win, right?
Let the education begin…
It started with a simple idea that a man should be the one to love and say it first. The idea is based on both, scripture which commands the man to love the woman (the woman is commanded to submit), and the fact that females are moved and affected by what they hear.
As he pursues the lady, a man will pick up on positive signals and will keep professing his love for her. Every interaction with her feels good; but nothing beats the feeling when a man hears that first “I love you too” from a lady he is after. It is the most, if not the only exciting “I love you” from a lady because it tells the man that he finally has her. The walls are broken. He now has access to her heart. Any other “I love you” will not be as exciting and moving to a man as the first one. It will just be met with an “I love you too” — one that is said out of obligation and politeness.
Women, on the other hand, enjoy hearing assurances that they are loved. I do not know exactly what it makes them feel, but it helps to improve their mood and how they treat you. Tell a lady that you love her and watch her reaction. Say it again after 30 seconds and watch the reaction again. You will notice that gives the same exact reaction, as if she is hearing that “I love you” for the very first time. She enjoys it every time. Now let the lady try the same on her man. The first reaction will not be the same as the second. Third and fourth times are likely to be met with suspicion, followed by an “ok, what do you want?”. It is for this reason that I believe it is a man’s duty to keep expressing his love with “I love you,”. Women enjoy it. They can take it all day long.
Now back to questions raised in the opening paragraph.
I think the guy forgot to tell the lady that he loved her. A reasonable period must have passed without him saying it, so she broke the silence and said it first – “I love you”.
See, women worry over small things, but they have a way of testing if there is reason to worry or not. They also have a very subtle way of reminding men of their responsibilities, which is what I think happened here. She gave a simple prompt to let him voice out his love. It was also an opportunity for her to hear how he says it. Cruel, right? (I hear you men).
A simple “I love you too” would have sufficed but the complicated mind of a man panicked and thought, “oh shucks! How do I show that I still love her, while masking the fact that I’m following her lead?” So he responded with “I love you more” (as if there was another who loves less). So that, ladies and gentlemen, is how men end up with exaggerated use of superlatives like “you’re the bestest”.
You have no idea how bad it feels for a man to be beaten to something he should already be doing. The guy was beaten by the lady, and was now playing catch-up in the department of “voice your love”.
Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash
It is easy for men and women to draw whatever benefit they desire from each other. This is achieved by each one recognizing and doing their part in the relation. Focusing on what the other person should be doing or what they are not doing is a recipe for disaster.
Submission from a woman is earned – not demanded. It is a natural response to the love that she receives and feels from the man. The more she is loved, the more she submits. The more she submits, the more he loves her. It is a beautiful natural cycle that requires both partners to complete. You reap what you sow.