Alright, it's real talk time, because 2025 went hard - and almost cooked my brain!
It wasn't because of my art, but because of my damn normie job, where I work in marketing and graphic design. Basically I got buried in work, and it turned me into a goddamn productivity-goblin, and caused me to burn way more mental fuel than I was able to regenerate.
So yeah. I disappeared for a bit!
TBH I didn’t think anyone would notice, but people actually reached out to check if I was alive. Which was… unexpected. And kind of a wake-up call. Apparently there are more eyes on my stuff than I let myself believe.
So just to be clear, and remove the worries out there:
Yeah, I’m okay-ish. As in, not dead, not spiraling, just recalibrating.
Around Christmas and New Year I basically dropped a mental anchor and let my art drift. Full stop. No posting. No output. Just damage control. The only way out was to cut myself off from online noise and go feral offline: books, videogames, films, sex, masturbation, nicotine, music, weed, podcasts, sleep - and general hardcore decompression.
Creative output? Almost zero.
The only thing that came out alive, was this one sketch.
Si it’s not really a “piece”, but more a chaos sheet of sorts. Two months of 5–10 minute daily brain-dumps, with no polish and no intention. Just raw flow-of-consciousness to vent pressure and keep my head above water.
Some of the imagery is bleak. That doesn’t mean I’m in danger. I’ve wrestled darker thoughts earlier in life, but this isn’t that. These are old ghosts resurfacing, getting processed instead of buried. So relax. No alarms. No emergency calls.
I also fucked around with new ways to incorporate my love of sexual undertones, making it more subtle. Partly because it’s fun, and partly as a way to sneak past the AI hall monitors on social media. So yeah, sorry if you were hoping for full-on explicit chaos all over the place. There's no visible dicks and sloppy cooch front-and-center here! But it's still there, just right under the surface - so If you feel it, you feel it!
Is it pretty? No!
Is it clean? Absolutely not!
Is it honest? As fuck!
This is me, at reduced capacity, doing what I can with what I mentally had left!