I'm Still Here

I'm Still Here

Apr 09, 2022

I haven't posted in a while and I feel bad about that.

I made a commitment to myself that I would post at least once a week, but life has other plans as I'm sure you all are aware. In the quiet times, when ponds are unruffled by the tumult of the wind, we make all sorts of plans and we feel every confidence that we will carry them out.

"I'm going to exercise three times a week and drop ten pounds in a month."

"I'm going to save $100 this week and invest it in the stock market."

"I'm going to write the draft of a short story this week so that I can build my portfolio."

All well and good, but it seems that the moment we make plans is the moment the Universe takes notice of us.

"There you are," it says. "I've been looking for you."

Before we know it, our plans are uprooted and we are deflected from the actions we had hoped to take to tend to other important things. Such is what's been happening to me. The Universe has levelled its gaze upon me and the winds are chaffing the waters of my life. It is our lot in this world to struggle for everything we want, for it is in the struggle that we know our worth and the worth of the the dreams we pursue. If we give up on those dreams at the first blast of chill wind, then it was not a worthy dream, but if we persevere, if we bundle against the icy gale and trudge on like good and faithful soldiers, even just one step at a time, then we will get there. It may take a while, but we will reach our place of solace and our dream will be fulfilled.

I am writing to keep up that practice, to fulfill that promise to myself. Things are hard right now and my mind is full of so many other concerns, but this thing I do--"blackening pages" as Leonard Cohen says--is my self-care as much as meditation and walking. It is a muscle I need to keep exercising in spite of the distraction life throws my way, critical as it is.

Where am I going with this?

I guess the point is we must keep the faith we place in ourselves because no one else will do it for us. The Universe doesn't care about our dreams and we must pursue them for they are important to us alone. If the Universe puts a rock in your path, go around it. If you can't go around it, climb it. If you can't climb it, go under it. If you can't go under it, then find a crack in it (for there is a crack in everything) and start driving wedges into that crack. Even granite will yield if enough pressure is applied. Little by little the, wedges will split that rock until it falls away and you can continue with the journey.

The rock is the lesson and there is always a crack. Find a way.

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