Akane woke up with a vague memory of the previous day’s events. She was sure it had all been a dream… At least, she hoped it was.
She groaned when she opened her eyes and saw the familiar green walls surrounding her. The groan wasn’t caused by pain or exhaustion but from embarrassment. She’d passed out in front of everyone on her work crew, and then someone brought her here… Where she was no doubt poked and prodded by doctors who had much more important things to deal with than her.
Unable to look at the walls any longer, Akane cast her gaze to the right. The moonlight streamed through the window and illuminated the body sleeping in a chair directly beside it. Shikamaru was still there. Part of her had hoped that it had been Shikamaru that brought her to the hospital, but she couldn’t give in to that part of her.
Not yet anyway.
When she saw the way Shikamaru slept peacefully, Akane sat up and groaned again. She hadn’t meant to, but the stress and embarrassment of it all coupled with the effort of sitting up was overwhelming.
How much more guilt could she carry? Not only had he been there for her during the day, but now he’s sleeping in a chair in her room. Akane knew how uncomfortable those chairs could get after a while.
At this groan, Shikamaru’s eyes snapped open, and he was by her side in an instant asking her what was wrong.
“You’re still here,” she groaned.
“I can leave if that’s really what you want.”
Akane glanced up at him. His eyes were wide, and he watched her carefully. His hand twitched by his side. Despite the darkness of the night clouding half of his face, she could still see the worry etched into his features.
“No,” she said finally. “It’s fine. How long do I have to stay here?”
“Just a week.”
He’d said it so calmly. Off-hand. Like he hadn’t just handed her a death sentence. Or at the very least sentenced her to time in a torture chamber. Tears welled up in her eyes, and Akane had no energy left to stop them or the sobs that wracked her body. Shikamaru tensed for a brief moment, bridled with indecision, before he climbed into the bed with her. He positioned himself behind her and slid her until she was nestled between his legs and leaning back against his torso. Shikamaru wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly against him. He turned his face towards the window to place his cheek on the top of her head.
“Akane…” He whispered when her sobs started to ebb. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t d-do it again…” she whimpered.
“Do what?”
Another hiccupping sob wrenched its way out of her. “Be alone for that long.”
Shikamaru lifts his head from hers and places two fingers under her chin. Gently and slowly, he raised her chin until her gaze collided with his.
“You won’t be.”
Akane’s eyes filled with a fresh batch of tears. Tentatively, she rested her head back against his chest. She lay there and took comfort in the steady pounding of his heart and the way his fingers traced small circles on her sides. With his promise, she was torn. Was that would it had been? A promise? Shikamaru hadn’t said the words, but that was how his words felt. Like certainty when that was what she’d been lacking all this time.
“Shika?” she said softly.
“Yes, Ruby?”
“I’m hungry…”
“Okay.” Shikamaru carefully removed himself from her bed, and Akane slid forward to make it easier on him. “I’ll be back.”
He didn’t even ask what I wanted, Akane thought. Because he knows what you like, said the small voice in her head.
Akane closed her eyes and laid back. She remained that way until Shikamaru returned with the food. It smelled delicious, but she couldn’t bring herself to sit up again. She decided to pretend to be asleep for just a bit longer. She’d have the strength to eat then.
But sleep claimed her, and as she drifted off, she thought, Wow. I must have been more tired than I thought.
#
When Akane awoke for the fourth time in the past twenty-four hours, rays of sunlight were filtering through the curtains. Someone had closed them during the night. When she looked around the room, Akane didn’t see Shikamaru anywhere. Her heart panged, but she had no energy or tears left. She let out a soft sigh.
“I knew he didn’t mean it,” she muttered.
“Mean what?” called a familiar voice from the floor.
Akane startled in her body, and it was all she could do to keep from screaming. As she fought to regain control of her breathing, Shikamaru stood and sat on the edge of the bed next to her.
“The chair was hurting my back,” he said. “So, I slept the rest of the night in the floor. What didn’t I mean?”
“Nothing,” Akane sighed. Irritation pounded in her head at all of the commotion. “Why are you still here?”
Shikamaru’s eyebrows drew together. “You don’t want to be alone. I don’t want you to be alone. I like spending time with you. Seemed like common sense for me to be here.”
Akane shook her head softly. When that made the pounding worse, she switched to massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers.
“Can you stop doing that please?” she asked without opening her eyes.
“Stop what?”
“Stop acting like you care!”
“… But I do.”
Her eyes snapped open then, and she dropped her hands. Nothing about this conversation was going to make her headache go away, she decided, so she let go of any attempt to lessen the pain.
“You don’t,” she said. “People who care don’t ignore each other. They… they talk to each other. They make time for each other. They do things, both for each other and together. You ignored me for years, and you expect me to believe you care now? Why?”
Akane had expected him to become defensive or shut down. The flash of anger in Shikamaru’s eyes and the flushing of his cheeks took her by surprise.
“I have always cared about you.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not.” Shikamaru took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m not the same kid I used to be, Akane. I understand now that the best things in life require effort. My dad—” His voice cracked, and he paused for a few seconds before continuing. “My dad taught me that. I am sorry for the past few years. I should have tried harder, and I should have reached out sooner. I don’t expect you to believe me now, but I’m going to keep being in your life, so you might as well try.”
Akane searched his face for any sign that he was lying or trying to trick her. There was none that she could find. Instead, his gaze was sincere, determined, and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
“I… I can try,” she said.
“Good. I’ll be here every day to prove it to you.”
#
Shikamaru didn’t leave Akane’s side for the next five days unless she asked him to, and he ran every errand without complaint. Every time she was hungry or wanted a board game to play, he fetched it. He played every game with her until she grew tired or hungry again. He brought her extra blankets when she was cold, and he bought a whole tea set so he wouldn’t have to leave every time she wanted a cup.
All the rest had been working wonders for Akane. She’d known she’d been exhausted, but after a while, it started to feel normal. She’d been feeling rundown and run over so long she’d forgotten how good she could feel. She’d forgotten how beautiful life could be when the warmth from the sun didn’t steal your breath and missing a step didn’t require a thirty-minute recovery period.
Akane was feeling good again, and she was surprised to see how much that impacted her attitude towards Shikamaru. Her heart still hurt when she thought of the years they missed together and his attitude towards her when they were young, but she was trying to be more optimistic about their future. Life with Shikamaru was starting to seem both possible and feasible, and for once, she didn’t want to snuff out the hope she felt.
At least, she felt that way until he spoke about his feelings for her. When Shikamaru started making claims and promises, Akane’s instinct was to shut them down. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but she had a feeling. Every time he spoke of his emotions, he said he’d always felt that way. Even when they were kids. There were two explanations: either that was true, and he was comfortable hurting the people he loved, or; he was lying, and Akane hadn’t figured out what his end goal was. Either way, she remained skeptical.
Sakura came in at least once a day to check on her, and every day she told Akane how much she was improving.
On the fifth day, Sakura said, “You know, if you’d listened this well a year ago, you wouldn’t be back here now.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t have company last year,” Akane grumbled.
Sakura flashed a glare at Shikamaru. “Well, if you get tired of this company, let me know. I’m sure we could find a nice man to keep you company.”
“Watch it, Haruno,” Shikamaru grumbled.
Sakura flashed a mocking grin before calling out, “You don’t scare me, pineapple head,” as she walked out the door.
With Sakura gone, Shikamaru sat next to Akane on the bed again. “I’m glad to hear you’re improving so much. Please don’t ever push yourself that hard again.”
Akane’s face flushed, and she muttered, “Okay.”
On the morning of the sixth day, someone came into the room with Sakura, and it instantly made Akane nervous.
Sakura sensed her discomfort and said, “See? I told you to wait in the hall. I knew you’d freak her out.”
“Don’t be alarmed, Ms. Raito, and I hope you’re feeling better,” Hokage Kakashi said before turning his attention to Shikamaru. The two men spoke as Sakura did her daily check on Akane.
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” Kakashi said. “I have a mission I need you on.”
Shikamaru’s eyes flashed to Akane before resettling on the sixth Hokage. “I can either leave tomorrow afternoon, or I can put a team together for you today.” Kakashi handed him the file. After a few moments of perusing its contents, Shikamaru handed it back and said, “Send Shino with one of the new Chunin teams.”
“If you’re sure,” Kakashi said, his voice lilting. “Feel better soon, Akane.”
“Thank you, Lord Sixth,” Akane mumbled.
Kakashi nodded at her before leaving. He was shortly followed by Sakura after she assured Akane that she would be able to leave the hospital the next day. When the door closed behind her, Akane turned to Shikamaru.
“You could’ve gone, you know.”
“I made you a promise,” he said as he stretched and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t intend to break it.” Akane’s face scrunched, and Shikamaru continued. “That mission was going to be a drag anyway. Better to send the young ones that need the experience. Shino will guide them. They’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure they don’t need you?”
“You need me. And you come first. Always.” He smiled as blush flooded Akane’s cheeks making them almost as dark as her hair. “Are you ready to go home tomorrow?”
“More than ready.”