Here's a lil how-to guide I wrote after my first day of training for my new job with Chicago Park District. I haven't had a 9-5 in a looooooong time, so a full day of corporate training was, uh... no joke. 2 weeks later, I'm much more adjusted. Anyways, I call this one...

How not to have a meltdown when your routine changed (you changed it) and you’re kind of going crazy (ok you already had a meltdown) but you still need to get shit done

This guide brought to you by:

✨ anxiety ✨

and...

the 15 minutes left on the wash cycle before I can throw stuff into the dryer and go to sleep before I have to wake up and do it all over again 🫠

Step 1: headphones in (god bless active noise cancellation), emotional support album on. Running on fumes? Just push through one Harry Styles and one 3-step plan (bonus points for a treat, too) and you’ll be set for tomorrow and worry-free* when falling asleep tonight.

*worry-free never guaranteed; generalized anxiety disorder may apply.

Step 2: ask for help. Start getting curious about what you can outsource. Try to actually ask for what you need instead of accidentally passing off tasks by saying something like ‘did you say you were gonna do that?’ You will stress over this unintentional passive aggression later. Hope you didn’t get your hopes up about that worry-free sleep.

Step 3: enlist a body double, if possible. The emotional support album does wonders for time management, but nothing beats yapping with a friend. Furry friends are great at listening. Try not to brag to the dog about your new job at the park, though, because he will absolutely be jealous.

Step 4: indulge wherever you can in the process. It’s not the laundry room, it’s a chic dance club. It’s not just a shower, it’s a soothing spa experience. Use the fancy face wash. Take longer than you planned. Sure, that’s 15 minutes less sleep, but who’s counting?

(👋🏻 oh hi, it’s me, counting…)

Step 5: checked off all the things on the list? Time for that sweet sweet reward.

Oh, except the laundry isn’t ready yet.

...

No worries, just use this 15 minutes to write about the emotional-yet-productive evening you're having.

Note: you’ll be tempted to work extra hard to 'finish' what you've written before going to sleep. This is perfectionism talking; no need to let her run things. Instead, leave it as a draft and finish when…ever.

Ok, now time for my favorite treat: sleep 😴