My flippant answer to folks who meet me for the first time and inquire about what I "do" is generally, "How long do you have?" Sometimes it is strange to try and imagine what it is they're asking for - are they curious about me as a person? thinking about networking with me for their own work? a potential new client? - and attempt to tailor my answer to what I think might work.
Last year when I was working with my friend Julie to create a concise explanation - an elevator pitch, if you will - I was at least clear on what ties all of the things I do together. I've been very clear about that for the last few years: it's relationship. But trying to explain all of the diverse and unique experiences that I have and facilitate takes some time. Time folks usually don't expect to invest when they ask "what is it that you do?" as they first meet me. So I often leave things out or gloss over things in an attempt to explain what I think might be most relevant to them.
But in case you are really wondering, this week is a perfect illustration of the breadth and depth of my work (and when I say "work" I don't mean only compensated work, but all of the things that encompass my passions and purpose and energy).
Sunday morning I began by hosting a generative writing group that meets every week for an hour. I offer a prompt, we write for a little bit, talk about what came up, and I offer the next prompt. I love hearing all of the different ways people find and make meaning from something as seemingly innocuous as a snippet of a song or the word "shoebox."
Monday I drove to another city to work with a law firm that specializes in immigration cases. We have been spending time together in an attempt to co-create ways for folks in this practice to avoid burnout and process the heaviness of the work they do together. This was the second of at least three sessions, and we took 90 minutes to talk about what it means to be fully resourced, how each of them is experiencing secondary trauma by witnessing the struggles of the families they serve, and how we can begin to find sustainable ways for them to continue on. After that, I drove to a campsite on the beach to walk two people through some somatic experiencing exercises that might help move some stuck grief and surface it so that it can be more readily managed. And finally, I drove farther South to be part of a panel at a town hall discussing racist incidents in local schools. We took three hours to meet with community members and really understand what is happening for them and talk about ways to shift the dynamic - acknowledging the incidents as racist (and specifically, anti-black) rather than the watered-down version of "bullying," facilitating conversations between and among different ethnic and cultural groups around their experiences and the work we all need to do.
Tuesday the day started with an online gathering of the Tuesday Together crew (a group I was inspired to start after the current president took office to practice what it means to be together in ways that support all of us and increase our capacity to receive care). The easy conversations (even about hard things) and laughter and connection in that space always boost me and give me energy to keep going with gratitude. This was followed by another online gathering of practitioners of somatic experiencing where we meet to practice this work and learn from one another. The early afternoon saw me working with a memoir writing client I've been helping for three years. She had an idea for a book she wanted to write and we began with excavation of ideas, me giving her prompts to fill in areas with more stories, and progressed to now where she's nearly got a complete manuscript. Tuesday we spent time going over the last few holes that need filling now that we have the structure down, and thinking about writing the ending. It's so exciting to see this come to fruition!
I hit a local coffee shop on Wednesday morning to meet a new neighbor who recently lost her husband unexpectedly. I heard about his death through another neighbor who was kind enough to introduce us so that we could make sure she's getting the support she needs and we had a lovely time getting to know one another and establishing a connection so that she knows she can reach out to more than one person if she needs help or support. I then zipped downtown to drop off some materials at a local nonprofit to help them start a new program and to connect with folks at the weekly Cafecito gathering that brings community members together underneath the oak and olive trees to talk about what is happening in our town. I spent the middle of the day with a parent coaching/grief coaching client brainstorming about next steps and celebrating some major victories with the school system for her youngest whose special needs have almost never been met by the school district before I met a friend to walk for a bit. I finished the workday with a phone call about co-creating a ritual for a group of folks who have been creating their own community for six years and are interested in clearing some energy intentionally and calling in gratitude to their lives.
Thursday (today) found me online in the morning with that particular community, talking through their hopes for the ritual and solidifying some practices we will engage in when we meet next week. Next, I'm acting as a substitute facilitator for a group of parents of children with special needs. This afternoon will be saved for writing and other administrative tasks (which I don't love, but that have to happen).
Friday brings another session with the immigration attorneys and their staff before an online meeting with the coalition of ICE resistance in my county and then another hour-long writing workshop. I'll find some time in there to put together a meal to take to Grief Cafe, which I host every Friday evening with two other community members at the Chumash cultural education center. We eat, write or play with art materials, and practice grieving collectively for all the things that are so heavy right now.
I love that no two days in a row are the same for me and that I get to use all of my skills and knowledge - trauma and grief work, somatic experiencing, writing, social justice mediation, parenting, adolescent brain and social development, community building, organizational relationships - to engage with folks in a variety of ways. This work feels important and meaningful and I am so grateful to have the privilege to engage in it. There are so many other things that didn't fit in to this week - podcasting, human design work, my own writing - that will show up some other time and it makes me smile to think that they're just patiently waiting in the wings. But I still haven't figured out how to answer the simple question "what do you do?" with anything other than, "how much time do you have?"