The month of May has not been kind to me.
On top of the madness that is the pandemic, I had to deal with cut hours and cut days. Which, of course, means cut pay. The good news is that when you are losing your mind indoors, there is not much to expect when it comes to expenses.
Last month, I lost both of my grandparents - not to the pandemic, thankfully. My cousin also told me that they were, at least, pleasant and peaceful in their last moments. It was a good consolation.
Grieving, it is said, is for those who were left behind. It is how we process the loss of those who are dear to us. I had a hard time processing everything because of the multi-hit combo shitstorm that made landfall on the shores of my sanity.
The day after I learned that I will get furloughed, I lost my grandfather. Then, a week later, I lost my grandmother. And then those terrible stomach cramps that left me helplessly writhing and puking started.
Between these, I had to contend with finding more opportunities to earn. And between chasing deadlines and working on more projects to make up for lost income, I had small moments to grieve.
I wrote tributes to my grandparents and I realized how long it had been since I wrote something sincere. If something helped me process my grief, it was this. Writing has always been cathartic.
A few weeks back, my cousin sent me pics from years ago when I won my Palanca- pics that I could not even place at first. I did not even know that she had copies. Most of the pictures we had, we lost during Ondoy. Still, pictures from my early days... Maybe it is time to go back to my roots and start writing something without a call to action to buy something. Write something for the soul.
Maybe that was the lesson from last month.