Hello,
My name is Jolanda, and I am taking this time to share my story. I am a single mother of four and I love my children so much and I’ve worked hard to make sure my kids never had to go through any of the things I went through growing up. I’ve worked 2 to 3 jobs at a time. Fallen asleep at red lights, pawned our belongs just to get by and locked myself in the bathroom so they would not see me cry. The entire fiber of my being has been devoted to bringing my kids a peace that I was never afforded the grace of knowing myself.
I’ve had a hard life, like a lot of people. Grew up in foster care after being abused physically, sexually, emotionally, and mentally. I wasn’t one of the quote-on-quote lucky ones. I aged out of the system. I remember the day I signed myself out because I was aging out of the foster. I walked out into a world that I wasn’t prepared for. Without the lessons I was going to need one day. Everything that I learned I learned the hard way. What I took from this was the only person I had was myself and even that wasn’t good enough most of the time. From the moment I stepped into the first group home I pushed myself. to learn to make it through life no matter what. I believed it is what it is. Throughout all this time being alone and hurting I found art and that what got me to the end. That’s how I survived the group home, not having my parents, abusive baby daddy and low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. So, when God blessed me with my babies, I was determined to make sure they didn’t grow up feeling not single fraction of the things I felt growing up.
I’ve worked since I was 14 yrs old. I have literally never not had a job until recently. I lost my job, a place that I dedicated myself to for almost 6 yrs because I couldn’t get or cover the cost of a medication, I needed to manage my diabetes. A few months ago, my previous employer made a change to my insurance coverage without any notice. I didn’t know anything was wrong until Oct 4th, I went to pick up my insulin and was told that my insurance would no longer cover my medication without a prior authorization as of Oct 1st. No big deal, right? Wrong!!! It was a big deal. Not a single person, no one, not my supervisor, the insurance company or H.R the one group of people that should have know could tell me why this was happening. The answer was always “let me look into it and I will follow up with you”. But they didn’t, they didn’t care. They did care when I started to miss work but not because there were days I was to sick. They really wanted me to sit a computer that I couldn’t even see because I was losing my vision let alone drive a car and put myself of the public at risk when I started passing out unconscious. They knew my condition.
My doctor submitted the prior authorization, and still denied it. By this time, I was already starting to feel so weak. The insurance denied the continued coverage of my medication because I didn’t meet the requirements anymore. The requirement for my medication meant that my A1C had to be over 6.5 and mine was a 6.3. I’m like yeah, its 6.3 because I’m on this duel-compounded insulin. So started the appeal process. By this time, I had gone 3 weeks without insulin and my A1C had gone from 6.5 to 13.5. I was losing my vision and couldn’t stay awake. Could you imagine waking up one day, looking at your kids but you can’t see their faces. For a diabetic that’s dangerous. I suffered from syncope, I was literally just passing out and losing consciousness. Having to go back and forth to the hospital for emergency insulin injections. My kids were and are still always on edge because of how serious it was. By the end of November my vision went from .25 to negative 4.75 in my left eye and 4.5 in my right eye. Within a month I couldn’t see let alone drive. I didn’t win my appeal to get my medication back until December 15th.
I had missed so much work. I couldn’t drive because my vision went so bad so quick. I even passed out while at work once and that still didn’t matter. My employer had even sent me a certified letter saying that if I didn’t return to work by December 30th, they were going to fire me. They were going to fire me after they put me in that situation to begin with. I returned to work even though my vision wasn’t 100%. It changed twice within 30 days. I gave them all my documentation supporting everything that was happening to me medically. I had the conversation repeatedly with supervisors, directors, and managers. But at that point it didn’t matter. On January 2nd not even after having been back at work for 2 days as I was getting ready to clock out for lunch when my supervisor called me into yet another meeting, but I already knew. They walked me into H.R and told me they were letting me go. After everything they had done to put me in this situation, they were letting me go.
I found myself unemployed and without medical coverage to cover my insulin while trying to maintain a home, take care of my kids and not allow them to see me fall apart. I was broken, but I did the only thing I knew to do was to keep waking up everyday and keep moving forward because that all we ever get to do not just women but as black women. As a Black community period. Its oh well keep it moving. There aren’t any breaks or chances. You’re just going to play the cards that you were dealt and like it. I ended up deeper in the hole, financially, mentally and my heath was on a rapid decline because I was yet again without medication. It got so bad that my daughter that is in college took her tuition money to cover the cost of my insulin one month. My baby was risking her education because there were so many days since then until now that I couldn’t even stay awake.
That’s what brought me here, because I literally have nothing left and everything to lose. I am losing our home. The place I worked so hard to give my babies. No matter how much I’ve tried to keep up with everything, driving uber and Lyft, trying to find a new job while being sick half the time. Now I’m trying the one thing I never been able to do. I’m asking for help. I said the one thing that has gotten me through all my traumas has always been art and I couldn’t mean that more now than I ever have. I’m not asking for a handout. I’m asking for the opportunity to save myself and my kids. I’m asking that you allow me to raise the money by selling my artwork, books, illustration to you so I can hit the goal we need to keep our house. I design everything from educational kids, coloring books, journal, affirmation cards and custom artwork. All my art is based in how I feel and comes from a special place. Everything that I design is how I wish my world to be seen and represented. Our face, on pages that matter. I’ve put into a digital form into one place that now have just as much access to as me. Buy something from my shop right now its not about me trying to build a business its about me asking you. Please help. Please help my children. Please help save our home. Please help me save me. This is life or death for me at this point. I need a safe place to land because having to choose between will I buy insulin this month or pay the rent comes down to me asking do I want to live of die.
If you made it this far into my story thank you for reading it, even if you don’t buy anything its just feels good to get it off my chest. If you do buy something, thank you for understanding the hurt in my words and if you can’t buy anything and read this thank you for showing up and giving me the space to speak and please share my story.
Love, Jolanda