There is Something About Friday

There is Something About Friday

Sep 04, 2021

There is something about this day, every week, that things begin to go downhill. Is it trying to do too much Monday thru Thursday and that by this day of the week. I get to that point where I question everything? All the work towards finding my inner peace, just trying to keep the inner demons at bay, makes me feel that all I do is for nothing. I want happiness and inner peace, and I know it's attainable. I have been reaching out to people who live life. They are positive in everything they do and do not dwell on the negatives of life.

Some days I can see that through self-reflection, I am heading in that direction, only to have depression and mania come back into my life, making me question everything. I feel that inner peace is attainable in this life, and I want to walk straight into the ocean because I feel like crap. What is this life? Why does my confidence shake in all areas of my life? I am fundamentally flawed, and I am searching through years of pain and trying not to intellectualize when things fail to go as planned.

That the seeds that I planted are going to bear some fruit soon? I know that wanting something and making an effort is the path, but what happens when I feel the effort weighing heavy? I am aware of all the emotions that flood my mind, yet I have trouble expressing them in a meaningful way. I have felt cursed by too much pain in my past to be happy. Where do I go from here? I know it takes a path I must travel on my own and bring people into my life. It seems a cross purpose to me.

Faith in the universe seems the only way to show me the way if I am patient enough to allow it to take its course while continuing to put the effort forward. Why does my world come crashing down on this day, it seems, every other week? Perhaps there is something in these feelings. Maybe it's time to listen to these negative thoughts and turn them into positives.

James Edgar Skye

P.S. More to come this weekend.

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