One of the best life skill of the twenty-first century is effective communication.
Being able to convey your ideas and thoughts, both in person and over other channels like phone, email, social media, etc., will make you more successful.
When you know what to say and how to say it, you can unlock minds, open closed doors, and negotiate a better life for yourself.
That’s why constantly working on your communication skills is never a wasted effort.
I’ve listened to some of the most thought-provoking TED Talks by some of the best experts in communication.
I share five in this article that can change the way you communicate.
10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee
The ability to sustain a coherent and confident conversation is a superpower. It makes you a human magnet.
But talking alone isn’t what the best communicators do. They’re great at listening as well.
In this insightful talk, Headlee draws upon decades of interviewing experience as a radio host to lay down powerful rules for having conversations that build connection and trust.
She said the best conversations have one thing in common — you’ll often walk away from feeling heard, engaged, inspired, and perfectly understood.
Here’s her 10 rules to achieve this type of conversations:
Be present — be in that moment. Don’t have one leg in a conversation and the other leg out of it.
Don’t pontificate. Assume that you have something to learn. Then, set aside your personal opinion. This forces the speaker to open up to the inner recesses of their mind.
Use open-ended questions
Go with the flow
If you don't know say you don't know
Try not to repeat yourself
Stay out of the weeds
Listen
Be brief
How to Speak so That People Want to Listen
This is a highly engaging talk by Julian Treasure that’s been watched by more than 34 million people on YouTube.
Pure gold.
Julian starts by identifying the “7 deadly sins” that stops people from listening to you when you talk.
If nobody listens when you talk, you’re probably guilty of any of these sins — gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, blaming, lying, and mixing up fact with opinion.
So, how do you switch the play?
Use the “H.A.I.L Technique” — a 4-step cornerstone that make anyone to open their mind to hear what you have to say:
Honesty: Be true and clear with what you mean.
Authenticity: Don’t take, be yourself. Stand in your own truth and own your story.
Integrity: Do what you say, be trustworthy
Love: Wish people well
As a sound expert, Julian says your voice has the power to change things if used right. He gives you the tools and exercises that can make your voice sharp and help you communicate better.
The Power of Listening
Listening changes the dynamics of communication. But it’s the other side of communication that’s often overlooked.
Many of us just want to talk and talk. However, this TED Talk by William Ury explains why such a one-sided communication is bad idea.
An effective communication can’t take place if people can’t hear and understand themselves.
Listening is what binds the process.
We all wants to be heard. If we don’t improve how we listen, we miss each other, even if we’re all talking.
is how we connect with each other’s stories, build rapport and trust.
But when you listen, you connect. It takes the spotlight away from you for a moment and shines it on the other person. You put yourself in their shoes and tune into their wavelength. You listen not just for what’s being said but for what’s not being said.
You hear what’s behind their words, decode the underlying emotions, feelings and needs. It’s the game changer.
But why do most not do it?
This talk helps you understand why and how to move your listening skill to a new level and make your communication better.
Give it a listen!
How to Get Your Ideas to Spread
Seth Godin has made a name in the digital space, building a successful career as a business trainer and best-selling author of many books.
The secret?
Sharing his knowledge with the world and communicating his ideas in a way that people run with it.
In his talk, Godin shows what it takes to get your ideas to spread. Expo: It’s all about how your ideas are crafted and dispersed.
As an entrepreneur or leader, you can get people to buy into your ideas, put money into your hands, follow you, and do anything you want.
That starts with how you properly communicate your ideas and get them to spread.
Know who you’re talking to, understand their needs, and as clearly as you can, get them to see that you can solve their problem.
People who can do this turn out to be the most successful in every endeavor.
Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are by Amy Cuddy
You can talk all you want about your ideas. But if you’re body language is off, nobody will take you seriously.
Your body language; how you present yourself, sends a message to those you’re communicating with.
Amy Cuddy is a social psychologist and Harvard University professor. She’s done plenty of good work on the power of body language and how it can shape the mind.
You’ve probably heard this before. But simple things like your facial expressions, handshakes, gestures show what’s on your mind more than what comes from your lips.
By mastering how to tap into your body language, you can change your ability to communicate.
That’s what Cuddy teaches in her talk — how to convey the attitudes we want others to receive.
Final Thought
This list of TED Talks is by no means a comprehensive one. It, however, has some of the best experts that you can learn from to enhance your communication.
Truth be told, improving our communication skills is the right thing.
The world will be a much better place if we all learn to communicate better with our children, spouses, friends, coworkers, staff, and customers.
Right?
This article was first published on Medium.