Sometimes when I take a look back at my life, I wonder to myself, “How did I ever make it out alive?” And then I hear the voice of the me that used to struggle so much and I am reminded that the strength I found within still lingers around me. We all have this huge faith in our hearts that we will be ok at the end of the day. Sometimes it works brilliantly and we turn out to be just fine. Other times we are left licking our wounds and asking where it went so wrong. But as we face each day, we often ask ourselves, “How did I make it?” Just like you, I have questioned myself so many times and I turn around to look at who mattered enough for me to pull myself through.
My husband, who loves me unconditionally and knows me when I am angry yet still loves me. The man who sees what I look like first thing in the morning yet still kisses me and holds me even when I am not yet ready to face the world. The man who cherishes my every thought and wants to hear my voice even if he’s dead tired and fights sleep. The man who reaches out to hold my hand in the dark and traces my scars on my skin because he wants to heal them.
My children, who looks up to me with every loving fiber of their being, and acknowledges me as their true champion, even when I can’t see myself that way yet. The little eyes that wakes up every day to run to me and wants me to hold them even if I am wrong and have made a mistake.
These are the ones who I surround myself with and remind myself that I am worth fighting for the good. Through all this, I am reminded that I am enough and that I am going to be ok, that my strength is there. When I finally pull through something and look back, the many treasures I see are the footprints left behind, told by me, by the people I love. These are what I turn to when I am left in a dark place and I can’t remember why I began.