There are moments where when you reflect upon certain things in life, an emotion that you thought you had buried comes out. The moment that brings you right back to a place and time where you discovered the raw power of hate. It had once consumed you so deeply that it left a hole the size of Texas inside of you. You filled it with void, with distrust, and with anger. Then you forgot about it until a triggering word jolted it right back to the present.
This is the daily living of a person who has struggled with no way out. It doesn’t mean you are bad or that you deserve it. It means inside of you has been needing a gentle hand to help and all you’ve been given is no support. You are blamed when you have been wronged. You were let go when you should have been held. You were abused when you should have been loved. Through each of these learning phases, you forced your heart to shut everyone out. And lived a life of loneliness suffering alone.
Can I share with you that you are actually not alone? More people go through this than you know and it’s just that no one talks about it. Because if we were to share, we’d be called names of wanting attention for ourselves. If we shared, we’re the bad apple of the entire batch. If we were to share, we are seeking the spotlight. We are the bad ones because we simply want to feel better. When you have hit this point of your life, you know that the more you speak, the more others ignore you. So you silence your voice and live in pain.
But who is the one suffering here? Isn’t it you? Isn’t it you who wants to have freedom of peace and be freed to live happy? YES. So why must you shut down and forget everything while those who probably put the pain there live without care? Because to them, your pain has never mattered and it has only been a split second when they hurt you that they thought of you. But you, who has felt the sharp end of it, has felt the entirety of it for this long.
Today…my dearest…it is time to work on yourself to healing everything because you deserve the best to live and shine. You are ready for change and change is calling for you. It is never ok to sit back and just wish because wishing doesn’t bring you any closer to where you need to be. What you have to do is stand up and do, because doing is what will bring you to peace. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to bleed. It’s going to make you feel as if you are uncomfortable. But only by doing, can you truly begin healing.
Are you ready? Because the journey has been waiting for you. It’s time to let go.
