How long does it take to become the better version of yourself? For some, it is a mere few years while for others it’s a long journey where it takes them a whole while. What you must remember is that you are not alone and that your pace is yours alone. Sometimes when we forget and try to match another’s footsteps we end up falling even further behind. Because their rhythm is not meant to be for us to dance to. We all have our own accords in life and if you follow another’s, you will find that it’s very lonely. You can just about reach it only to suffer another major downfall.
When I was younger, I wanted to know what people did to make them smile so much when I was around them. They didn’t seem to know any hardship and they just seemed to be so content with their life. I was struggling with infertility, running from one job to another, and not sure where I wanted to be. People were telling me I was a complete fool for just not knowing who I was. It really hurt me because I was so lost in my own way. But you know what I learned? These people whose smiles I found around me were nothing but a show. They were really struggling with their own demons but they made it seem as if they were ok. And in the eyes of the public, it just appeared that they were well put together. That was when it dawned me on that although I wasn’t quite happy with where I was, I was actually being faithful to who I was.
This term…being faithful…to my heart, to my soul, to who I am, was birth that day and I began to follow it, even if I had no idea where it was going to take me, even if I wasn’t sure of where it would lead me. I just followed it and eventually led me to an awakening deep within myself that had been asleep for so long. Once I stirred and woke from the deep slumber, did I realize had I awaken at the time I wanted things to be perfect, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I had to first master a lot of things in my life first before I could get going.
And that was when I stopped trying so hard to make others understand me and focused on understanding myself. If anyone was to be understood, it had to be my own heart and soul first. So that’s where it began…following my heart, listening to my words and pain, and asking for forgiveness and time. Slowly, but surely, things began to fall into place. And today when I smile, I am often asked, “Why are you so happy?” And when I answer, I am still faithful to myself.
