Giyuu was not sure of his ‘relationship status’ with Iguro anymore, if he had ever known about it to begin with. The atmosphere had been tense when they walked back to his Estate after the hashira meeting when they had discovered his type. It was so tense that even Giyuu could feel it and that was nothing undeserving of attention. A weird occurrence if there could exist one.
After securing his book in his private rooms, he had forced himself to find a moment with Iguro to apologize but he made it a point to make sure that Iguro actually wanted to listen him up, he would not force his fellow hashira no matter what, the least he deserved was the right to choose if he wanted to forgive Giyuu for his lies or not.
They sat in the engawa, the kids knew they had to leave them alone and none of them came to listen in. Giyuu dared not look at Iguro, maintaining eye contact had never been easy for him, he did, from time to time, if he had to, but he rather not and he knew himself better than to pressure himself to do something he was not ready to do at that moment. Iguro did not look at him either, either because he did not tolerate his presence at the moment or because he felt hurt and did not want to be looked at. Whatever it was, Giyuu really wanted to give him whatever he needed.
“I wanted to apologize, Iguro,” Giyuu said, straight to the point as he usually was.
Iguro looked at him surprised, even more surprised than all the other times he had caught him off guard. More surprised than the first time he had taken him into his Estate, when he had met his daughters, when he had twisted in pain after over exerting himself. Giyuu did not let it get to him, he was not sure if it was a good thing or a bad one so he decided to keep talking.
“I am sorry I did not tell you the truth, I should have, I should have trusted you as you were trusting me,” he said, ready to try and explain as much as he could explain but Iguro interrupted him.
“Why would you? I was never good to you, it was only normal that you did not trust me,” Iguro said, angry, maybe with himself or maybe with the situation or maybe with Giyuu. Probably not even Iguro knew.
“You kept the secret about my daughters, that should have given me a sign,” Giyuu replied.
“You are not stupid, even if you act like you are, you know I told Sanemi,” Iguro confessed.
“Well, they are still alive and well so I guess he did not say anything either, I am thankful for that, to the both of you,” Giyuu said. For as blunt as he was used to being, he was not used to talking about his feelings or even to think too hard on them.
“Why? I understand that you did not trust me, I can live with that, but why did you lie from the very beginning?” Iguro could not help himself but asking.
Giyuu breathed in, bracing himself for a long answer. He guessed he would have to confess more things he had initially planned for but it was fine, he decided he could trust Iguro and for better or for worse he was already there, there was no turning back unless he wanted to damage their precarious relationship forever, and he did not want that.
“In part was about protection and in part was because I did not want to be treated differently. I do not know about your experience being a male omega but mine was not good, where I was born we were not considered… normal, omegas in general, I mean, male omegas were pretty much legends and freaks of nature. It was not pretty and I was given the choice to say I was a beta when I entered the demon slayer corps so I took the chance,” he said, not ready to look at Iguro in the face even when he could feel his fellow hashira’s eyes looking at him intently.
“Did you think that the demon slayers would think that you were not good enough?” Iguro asked, there was little judgment from his part, strangely enough his reasons were met with understanding.
“In part, yes, but I also did not like the idea of being treated nicer because of my type, I wanted to do my job and leave it at that, I still want that. Who cares if I am mated or not? Who cares if my heat is close? I do not want special treatment and I have no need for it but had you all known Kocho would have been forcing me to have my heat periodically and everyone would be pushing their noses in my business. If someone wanted to hate me they got to do so without my type being the reason,” he replied. “Iguro… I want to be as honest as I can from now on so I will tell you this: my type is not the only thing I am hiding but those thighs fall under the statute of secrecy and I can not tell you about it. As soon as I can I promise I will let you know,” he said and, for once, he was not lying.
“Fine… I am not going to pretend that I have any right to know any of this and if you wanted to keep your type a secret that was your decision and I have nothing to do with it. I am still mad though, it was a shitty lie after I came here all these months but I guess I could leave it behind us eventually… If you cooked vinegar soaked kelp it would help quicken the process,” Iguro said, rolling his eyes.
“As many times as you want to eat it,” Giyuu replied, taking that promise to heart.
“Since we are confessing crimes to one another in order to bond, I guess it is a good time to say this,” Iguro added, taking a deep breath and looking anywhere but Giyuu. “I might have lost a bet I had with Sanemi and you might or might not be the butt of the joke so I guess that the next best thing to do is to let you know why I am going to ask this of you,” Iguro admitted sheepishly.
Giyuu finally gathered the courage to look him in the face and Iguro looked back at him. For a fleeting moment, they both shared the feeling that that conversation marked a before and after in their friendship, or maybe it marked the beginning of a friendship, neither of them were sure about it, at the end of the day Iguro was not much better than Giyuu himself in the making of friends.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” Giyuu asked, not sure what he was supposed to do.
“I would not have brought it up if I did not,” Iguro replied exasperated, “I bet I could master my heat in three months and obviously it did not occur,” he added.
“That was naive of you,” Giyuu replied.
“Yes, well, three months too late to tell me that,” Iguro said, annoyed with himself or maybe with Giyuu, or maybe it was just the way he dealt with stuff.
“What would you win if you did?” Giyuu asked.
“That is the part where you came into it…” Iguro confessed. “I wanted to go out with Kanroji but I did not want to do it alone and I thought that having Sanemi and you bickering as you usually do would distract me enough. You see, Sanemi is a very proud person and he does not like being or feeling rejected and you rejected him at the beginning of the year when he asked you to go eat salmon daikon with him, so he would not like to ask again and risk it,” Iguro said, knowing well enough that Sanemi would kill him if he ever got to know that he had snitched to Tomioka from all people.
“When did that happen?” Giyuu asked, as if that was the first time he had heard about Sanemi asking him out.
“Are you…” stupid, that was what Iguro wanted to say but he decided against it in the last possible second. “A couple of months ago or something? The arm wrestling thing and the… the tickling and Rengoku’s glasses that he pulled out of his ass, somehow,” Iguro said, somewhat horrified by the memories of that afternoon and embarrassed by the way he had acted.
“Rengoku pulled glasses out of his ass?” Giyuu asked innocently, hororised at the new information.
“Not literally,” Iguro was quick to answer, barely holding his laughter. “Anyway, do you remember it? Not the… not Rengoku pulling thighs out of… does not matter, you know what actually let's end that conversation there. Do you remember the arm wrestling thingy?” he asked. Thinking back at that day he did not blamed Tomioka for his horrified expression, it must have been pretty scary to find all of them in such a strange mood, Iguro would have probably punched and insult someone, Tomioka had not done that so… a point to him, he was better person than Iguro was, not that that would been news to anyone.
“Yes, I remember the arm wrestling competition,” Giyuu replied.
“Well, that same afternoon Sanemi asked you to go with him to eat salmon daikon and you said no,” Iguro said, holding his laugh proved to be harder than what he initially thought it would be. “So I put as a winning prize that he had to ask you out and Kanroji and I would go as well. I just wanted to make Sanemi angry and I guess I used you as a means to an end,” he confessed.
“You are forgiven if that is what you are trying to say?” Giyuu replied, not sure why Iguro had told him all that.
“No, I could not care less about it. I am going to man up and ask Kanroji myself but I am not going to give up on it and I really want you and Sanemi to be there and distract me and Kanroji with your fighting,” Iguro replied, almost grinding his teeth out of frustration.
“I do not want to fight Shinazugawa,” Giyuu said, honestly.
“You do not have to fight him, acting as yourself should be enough… look I do not care if you fight to death or end up kissing each other mad as long as you two are something that could take the pressure out of us,” Iguro said, that was probably the closest Giyuu would ever get to a ‘please’ from him.
“Are you sure that Shinazugawa will agree to it?” Giyuu asked, maybe doubting Iguro’s words, maybe out of self preservation. Whatever it was, that was probably the right thing to ask, but Iguro was not to be trusted about that kind of stuff, not when it was to his benefit, and he would say virtually anything to get what he wanted.
“I will deal with Sanemi, you just make sure to be there,” Obanai replied, already finding a ‘yes’ in Giyuu’s cautious answers.
Sanemi was NOT happy to see Tomioka arriving at the meeting, Obanai had conveniently forgotten to tell him about that part of the arrangement. Strangely enough, if he thought about it hard enough there was no other member of the Hashira that he would rather eat around. Kanroji was already way too happy and way too loud for him, he did not want to lose his eardrums for the combined sound of Rengoku’s screams and Kanroji’s excitement.
There was not one inch of him that wanted to be close to Kocho in any way, shape or form if he could avoid it and he had stated enough times that there were not many things more annoying than Uzui. Tokito would be a bore to be around to eat something and Himejima would lecture all of them. Somehow, and Sanemi did not want to look too deep into it, Tomioka was the lesser of many evils that day, he was even better than third wheeling Kanroji and Obanai all by himself.
That did not mean that he was happy at all with his current predicament. Tomioka’s presence was not something he would gladly accept right off the bat, not even in one of his better days and he had not been in a good mood for quite some time… his whole life, some would say, but he consciously decided that he was going to make the best of it and maybe he could look forward to a nice piece of ohagi after eating lunch.
Tomioka had been entranced by his salmon daikon for a good amount of time and Obanai had been entranced by Kanroji since the very beginning so Sanemi only had to ignore them which became increasingly more difficult as Kanroji decided that there were some things that she wanted to know about her fellow Hashira. Had Sanemi not been with a full stomach and a good night of sleep he would have exploded in a tornado of fury, but he was comfortable and almost relaxed so he decided to humor the only girl in the group and participate in the conversation like a civilized adult instead of a rabid dog.
“What would you do if you were not a demon slayer?” Kanroji asked, a pile of her empty plates hid Obanai almost completely while the poor man struggled to finish his first and probably only plate.
“Probably something to do with strength? We used to do a little bit of everything before I got into demon slaying,” Sanemi replied, not wishing to go too deep into it.
“I would probably be a farmer, that was what my family used to do,” Tomioka said. Sanemi would not be surprised if he was emaciated, his food was all over the place; Tomioka was the messiest eater he had ever met.
“Do you like gardening?” Mitsuri asked, jumping at the chance of getting to know Tomioka better and ignoring all the food smashed into his face.
“Yes, I think I do,” he replied, managing to somehow dodge every single speck of food with his napkin. To nobody’s surprise Mitsuri was fast to get in her feet to clean his face with her own napkin which catapulted all of them into a very strange and uncomfortable silence.
From in between empty plates of food, Obanai’s eyes seemed to want to drill a hole into Tomioka’s skull but Tomioka himself did not look very comfortable with the new development either. Had Sanemi been a different kind of person he would have laugh, had Sanemi been a little more like Uzui or Kocho he would have enjoyed the fuck out of that awkward moment, but he was neither of them so he just observed the situation with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
“I am sorry,” Tomioka said. Nobody knew what he was apologizing for but Sanemi would not let that chance of getting out of whatever they were in pass by.
“Is it any good? The salmon daikon?” Sanemi asked.
What the hell was he thinking of? What kind of question was that? The guy had finished his plate, desperately eating it as if he had not eaten in a year and he could not think of asking anything other than that? Sanemi was sorely disappointed in himself and Obanai’s eyes were suddenly on him, mockingly, taunting him.
“Yes, it is my favorite food,” Tomioka replied, almost as if he had not noticed how stupid Sanemi’s question was and maybe he did not, nobody knew with Tomioka.
“Do you eat it often?” Kanroji asked, finally settling back down.
“Not really, I am not home often and when I am I rather treat the kids,” he said. That was probably the longest normal conversation both Sanemi and Mitsuri had with Tomioka, and he was not sure about Obanai, maybe it was the longest conversation out of lessons.
“Would you like to form a family if it were not for demons?” she asked, curiously, “I guess you have your kids but would you like to have more? Would you like to get pregnant and all of that?” she added.
Tomioka’s eyes seemed to grow in his face and, surprisingly, he blushed.
“Because I would,” Mitsuri continued speaking, blind to his reaction. “I guess I can’t but I always wanted to be pregnant. A shame that I was born an alpha but I guess I could find someone to marry and have children with… or even if we can’t, I would like to find someone to love,” she said, now turning Obanai’s face a crimson tone of red.
Sanemi barely found the willpower to stop his laughter.
“What about you? Iguro-san? Shinazugawa-san?” she asked, giving up on Tomioka and not wishing to give him a hard time.
“If it were not for demons, yes, I guess, but as long as demons exist I am not going to bring a child into this world,” Sanemi replied, honestly.
“I never really thought about it, I did not consider it a possibility even,” Obanai replied, finally wrapping the bandage around his mouth and moving the empty plates out of the way so they could actually see him.
“Oh…” she sounded slightly disappointed. “Is it an alpha thing? To want to have a family?” she asked, seriously.
“I do not think it has anything to do with our dynamic,” Tomioka replied. “And you could get pregnant, you are female, even if you are an alpha. It will not be easy, probably, but you could if you try hard enough. Either with another alpha or with any male of any dynamic” he added and somehow Mitsuri seemed to glow and shine under the new information she was privy to.
“How do you know so much?” she asked, amazed.
“I read a lot, there is information about many things in the Water Estate,” he replied, he seemed comfortable enough with them and with that conversation. It was strange to see him opening up, or even just participating. Maybe it was the fact that he knew Obanai and Kanroji pretty well, maybe it was the fact that Kocho was not pestering him or that they were not being obnoxious and loud. Maybe it was the fact that Sanemi was calmer and they could give him a little bit more time to find the words that he wanted to use.
“Did Oyakata-sama command you to keep the statute of secrecy?” Obanai asked. It was a personal question that not many would feel comfortable answering and it had been asked pretty much tactlessly but Tomioka did not seemed to find it offending in any sort of way.
“No, we have a bond of respect and trust and Oyakata-sama would never trample over that,” he replied, seeming a little taken aback by the mere fact that they might have thought of their master in such a way. “I do not condone any kind of command from anyone to anyone. If not done correctly it can affect both the relationship with each other as the relationship with oneself. It is not a pretty sight,” he added, quietly explaining his point of view.
“Is that the reason you were so angry with Rengoku?” Sanemi could not stop himself from asking; it was way too tempting.
“I can excuse ignorance but I will not excuse malice,” he replied sharply. Sanemi instantly knew that he meant it, he was serious about it not like so many other people who just said what they had to to be correct and gain sympathy.
“I do not want you to feel like I am trying to force this out of you, you do not need to answer if you do not feel comfortable…” Mitsuri said, with that preface Sanemi expected way worse than what it actually was, “why did his command have no effect on you?” she asked.
“That is a funny thing to ask,” he replied mysteriously and for whatever miracle he decided to humor them with the answer. “Typically, omegas are able to defy orders, it takes an extraordinary amount of willpower and it is not an easy thing to do but we can. A command from someone you have no bond with is easier to defy than a command from a friend or a family member. A mate is even harder, but if you are strong enough, and you give yourself enough time, you can defy them. Some of us have a natural defense mechanism, unless it is done correctly, which necessarily needs the omega’s consent, we do not recognize a command from anyone. I happened to be born like that, I pay no heed to commands, they do not affect me and never had,” he explained, shrugging a little.
“And what about your scent? Were you born with that freakish control over it?” Obanai asked, strangely friendly and open with Tomioka. Maybe it was the fact that they spent a lot of time together when Obanai was in a very vulnerable position or maybe it was simply that Tomioka was slowly becoming one of Obanai’s friends and there were not many people that could brag about that.
“No, I had to learn that, my scent was out of control when I was young,” Tomioka replied, slightly nervous, only enough to make him move almost imperceptibly from left to right in his place.
“Why don’t we move this conversation towards more… neutral topics?” Sanemi proposed. It was strange that he was the one to notice Tomioka’s discomfort and it was even weirder that he cared enough to say something.
“Oh, I am so sorry we are making you uncomfortable, Tomioka-san,” Mitsuri apologized, her cheeks had turned a slightly plum tone of red from embarrassment and barely managed to look Tomioka in the eye.
“Well maybe you could cooperate with a subject, Sanemi,” Obanai said from his little place in the corner. Poison dripping from his words as usual.
“We could talk about your foul mood,” Sanemi replied, as bold as brass and with a sarcastic smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“As if your mood was any better, rabid dog,” Obanai said, as quick-witted as ever.
“Tell me that when you stop sleeping in a basket coiled as Uburamaramu, snake,” Sanemi said, mispronouncing Kaburamaru’s name on purpose just because he knew Obanai hated it.
“Kaburamaru!” Obanai replied, offended.
“So how are the girls and Senjuro? Are the cats misbehaving? I have a cat, you know? We could introduce them one day if you want. Maru is a very good cat,” Mitsuri said, leaving Obanai and Sanemi to their own devices and deciding to entertain Tomioka.
“Senjuro is ecstatic about the fact that he turned his first katana and has been trying to sneak some training even though he should be resting to recover. Aiko and Suki are as mischievous as they can manage to be, they had been quiet for some time so I guess I should be scared and Sumiko and Akari are somehow as troublesome as their owners so I can only hope to find something still standing in the place of the Water Estate when I get back,” Tomioka replied, enjoying the last drops of sake he had left on his cup.
“If they ever feel safe enough or if Senjuro wants to, you all are always invited to come visit, it could only be me, like that time when Sen came, or we can invite Iguro-san and Shinazugawa-san. I do not want to be insistent but just… you are always welcomed to any house of mine,” Mitsuri said. A big smile had appeared in her plump face, dimples in both cheeks giving her an air of innocence and sweetness.
“I appreciate it and I will let them know, I think Aiko would be excited, she took a liking to you,” he replied. Mitsuri’s smile grew, if that was even possible.
“Did she really?” she asked, thrilled at the news.
“Yes, she was bound to, she really likes pink,” he said, as if it meant anything at all.
“I like pink too,” she squealed, excited, as if the fact they liked the same color made them friends… and probably it did, if one had Aiko’s logic in mind. “What color do you like, Iguro-san? Shinazugawa-san?” she asked, they finally had managed to stop bickering with each other.
“Green,” Iguro said, shyly, not really looking at her. Mitsuri blushed and fidgeted with the tights he had gifted her. It was bluntly obvious that they both wanted more than friendship but Obanai was dead set on not even trying, as stupidly as it sounded.
Sanemi looked back and forth from the lovebirds to Tomioka who seemed to notice even when he was the most air-headed person Sanemi could think of. Even when they were four, he and Tomioka were third wheeling horribly, so much that it almost felt like a double date and Sanemi hated that concept mostly because Obanai would not let him live it down if he ever got to know.
“I am off to find some ohagi, Tomioka, help me out,” he said, standing up suddenly. “It is on you Obanai, so pay up, and find a nice spot under the cherry trees to eat the sweets.” He said, grabbing Tomioka’s sleeve to drag him outside. The poor guy seemed very confused but did not complain and did as he was told as Obanai grumbled in hushed voices that he did not need anyone to tell him what to do.
The town was quite busy, people walked the streets and little children ran around their parents as they did the shopping for the week. There was a constant murmur in the background that was somehow annoying and appeasing at the same time, it felt safe and usual, nothing strange was going on, nothing bad was happening for once.
Tomioka was quiet by his side, he looked at the town as if it was the first time he saw it, as if he had never seen people before. There was some kind of childlike wonder in him but there was also that other side of him that seemed to be using Sanemi like a thing he could hide behind. Maybe they had been wrong all along and he was just a shy and awkward kind of guy, maybe he was quiet and they had seen it as arrogance. Maybe they owed him an apology but Sanemi was not going to think about that, he could take Tomioka out of the box of people he disliked and put him in the box of people he did not understand, Sanemi thought that that was something he was ready to do. Maybe he was ready to give him a chance even though he was an omega and even though they had had a bad record. Maybe Tomioka was also ready to try again just like he was trying with Obanai and with Mitsuri, maybe they could become the kind of Hashira Oyakata-sama wanted them to be, supporting one another instead of bickering and giving each other dirty looks.
But unlike Tomioka, Sanemi was not a very quiet kind of person, even though he was capable of silence and he found he enjoyed it, in between Tomioka and Sanemi was not a comfortable kind of silence, there was a tense and heavy kind of silence, one that neither felt like they could break or maybe Tomioka did not care enough to break it, one could never be sure about Tomioka.