This reading from my Daily Meditation for Adult Children hit on something I've been saying for years, especially when it comes to the urge to attack, retaliate or “give somebody a taste of their own medicine.”
Don't take the bait.
Someone can come at you angry.
They can insult you.
They can lie about you.
They can intentionally provoke you.
They can try to pull you into an argument they already decided the outcome of.
And you still don't have to participate.
Because the moment you react from the same energy they're throwing at you, you've accepted the invitation.
If you take the bait, you're on the hook.
Here's the thing about throwing mud...
The person you're angry with may never even see it.
They may not care.
They may have already moved on.
They may not even be alive anymore.
Yet, you are the one standing there with dirty hands.
That's what resentment can do.
We can keep fighting with people who aren't even in the room anymore. We can keep defending ourselves against conversations that happened years ago. We can rehearse what we should have said, what we wish we'd done and everything we're going to say if we ever get the chance.
And meanwhile...
We're still carrying it.
That doesn't mean we pretend nothing happened.
It doesn't mean we don't acknowledge harm.
It doesn't mean we allow people access to us when they've demonstrated that they aren't safe.
Boundaries are not retaliation.
Walking away is not weakness.
Protecting yourself is not revenge.
There is a difference between responding and reacting.
A reaction says, “You hurt me, so now I'm going to hurt you.”
A response says, “You may have hurt me, but you don't get to decide what I do with that pain.”
That's where I think we reclaim our power.
When someone throws their anger at you and you refuse to pick it up, the energy belongs to them.
You don't have to carry it.
You don't have to return it.
You don't have to become a reflection of the behavior that wounded you.
Let them own what they chose.
Let them carry what belongs to them.
You have enough of your own healing to carry.
That's what “karma” looks like sometimes.
Not sitting around waiting for somebody to get what they deserve.
Just refusing to participate in the cycle.
What we choose to carry becomes part of our lives.
So when somebody throws the bait...
You can notice it.
You can acknowledge it.
You can even be angry about it.
Just don't bite. 🪝
Because if you take the bait...
you're on the hook.