We've been exploring 'social norms' with our friend Gloria Pelletier, (MSW, LCSW, LISAC). There are a number of ways those of us with hearing loss violate social norms without knowing it. Gloria came up with this list and I (Chelle) had a little fun answering it.
1. Greeting each other
-CW Only if I can see them talking first. Did they get my attention?
2. Personal space
- CW I can't hear from 10 feet away! I can see them well enough to use lipreading strategies either!
- CW No I'm not cozying up to you, flirting. I just want to hear what you have to say.
3. Eating crunchy foods in public areas
- CW Since I got my new hearing aids, I know how many people eat with their mouths open now.
- CW I also had a hearing someone eat super crunchy chips into a hearing loop microphone not knowing how 'well' we could hear that. Eek!
4. Participation in groups
- CW Without the proper accommodations, this is torture! It's impossible depending on settings.
5. Respecting authority figures
- CW We could, if we could hear them. Will those authority figures deign to face us while talking. (Doesn't always happen.)
6. Interrupting others
- CW Accidentally. Yes, this happens often. I can't always hear high pitched voices so I may not know someone is talking especially with background noise. I lost much of the 'tone' of the conversation that signifies they are done talking. Oops! You weren't done talking? Your message seemed done to me.
7. Refraining from using offensive language or gestures
- CW Oh no, don't take away my gestures! Gestures are so much fun and add much to the conversation. (Visual cues)
8. Nodding, smiling and looking people in the eyes to show you are listening to them.
- CW This is called the bluffing, the deaf nod, in the hearing loss community. We are really good this! However, we also probably didn't hear you and are afraid to ask for a repeat. Smiling and nodding is easier.
9. Do not stare at people
- CW Yep, I fail at this one too. I have to stare at you to hear you. No you don't have anything in your teeth, I'm using lipreading. (If I'm not upfront about my use of lipreading, people get paranoid.)
What would you add to this list? There's so many of them!
In our Lipreading Concepts class, we encourage people to be proactive with their hearing loss. If we are upfront about our communication needs, the people we talk to are generally more understanding. Learn more about our Lipreading Concepts class here: https://hearinglosslive.com/lipreading-classes/