Video Transcript:
Annoucement: [00:00:00] Welcome to Healing with Human Connection, where we have encouraging conversations about tough topics such as substance abuse, drug addiction, and mental health issues for those in the Northwest Indiana area. Our hope is to share information that will guide you to resources that can help you change your life so that you can live the life you were meant to live.
Check out our website, www.healingwithconnection.com to find a full transcript of today's conversation along with the list of any resources or links mentioned in this episode. Enjoy the show.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Welcome everyone. Um, I'm Jeanne Ann Cannon. This is Healing with Human Connection and what we do is bring topics and wonderful guests to you to talk about substance abuse, what it is, how to get help, how to recover, um, and of course we have, Stacey Garcelon and Miss Lisa, Lisa Scheller, who is [00:01:00] actually a health coach and an author.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: of, um, from Fear to Faith.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah. A family's journey with addiction, recovery and grace.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: That is so, so, so exciting. And of course we welcome you Heidi. Heidi is from Oak Lawn and she's gonna tell us a little bit about herself. So without further ado, Heidi Heckaman, thank you for being here. Heidi is from Oak Lawn and um, really Heidi, thank you for making the trip.
Heidi Heckaman: Thank you guys for, for having me. I found a new friend. You sound like resources to me. I have my work hat on, I guess.
Stacey Garcelon: That's fantastic.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: So Heidi, Heidi is a recovery coach.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: So, of course for anyone listening if you or a loved one struggles with any kind of substance abuse or mental health, I'm a therapist.
I deal mostly in mental health. Um, you know, if you have a mental health or a substance abuse issue, We're so excited that you're here, Heidi, talk to us about... [00:02:00] some people don't even know there's such a myriad of resources available for people. I mean, everyone knows about treatment centers and you go in, but tell us about you, a little bit of background and what it is to be a recovery coach.
Heidi Heckaman: Okay. Yeah. So, um, my name is Heidi Heckaman. I just turned 40 this year.
Stacey Garcelon: Happy Birthday!
Heidi Heckaman: Yes. Um, I am married. I have a bunch of little children, maybe not a whole bunch, but together, together we have children. So, um, yeah, so I have, my oldest is 17 and my youngest is four and a half. So kind of a wide range there. So kind of starting over a little bit.
But, uh, yeah, um, I went through a long journey of addiction that I didn't really understand for quite some time. Um, I guess it stems, you know, a lot of times there's a why, right?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Sure.
Heidi Heckaman: So, like, I was young, you know, things happened and I, I didn't learn coping skills. [00:03:00] Drugs ended up being my coping skills. So it... I'm stubborn.
It literally had to take everything away. Like my children, my oldest was with his dad, My youngest was taken into foster care. There... man there's so many struggles and it was like I was functioning until I wasn't, Cause I did it for years and years and even like, got myself off of things, you know, different substances.
Cause I, I went through all of them.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm.
Heidi Heckaman: It seems like more than once, you know, and I just kind of replaced one with the other, or in between maybe do like some drinking and always..
Jeanne Ann Cannon: So all different levels and different types.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah. But I never wanted to surrender to it. I think a huge thing in my journey was that wakening moment where I just didn't want to get clean to appease someone, you know, and just be sober for that amount of time.
Like where I'm like, I want this for my life, you know? [00:04:00] And what a... it was a hard decision, to be quite honest. It was harder, It's way harder than getting sober. In my eyes. It was making that decision. But in making that decision, there was no going back. You know, like is it a perfect journey? No, of course not.
It wasn't... one day I woke up and I was like, I'm just never gonna use drugs again. And that was it. But there..
Stacey Garcelon: Wouldn't that be lovely to just have that magic wand to go, Oh, it's all, it's all done.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes it was.
Stacey Garcelon: It's not easy.
Heidi Heckaman: I know, but it's most definitely not. Sometimes it's messy stuff, but like it's important to know that's okay.
Like I... sometimes people, they, they want it and they, and it's like all these new feelings and they don't realize everything that comes with it. And then they go back and then it's like, well, you, you already feel so low, you know? And you get to a point where you don't feel like you deserve it.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Yeah, right.
Heidi Heckaman: It's, it takes you just to this dark place, you know? And well,
Lisa Scheller: and shame. [00:05:00] Yeah.
Stacey Garcelon: Robs you of your dignity.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah, it Well, cuz and you do things that you wouldn't normally do. It's, um, it's crazy how this disease will take you. It becomes your only focus.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Right.
Heidi Heckaman: Like, yeah, you might be able to maintain some of these other things for a little while, but that is your focus and you're not even really present in other things that you can.
Cause in the back of your mind it's saying, Hey,
Jeanne Ann Cannon: how do I get my next whatever?
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Being a mom, having a job, being a wife, whatever. How do I get my next.. Is the overriding.
Heidi Heckaman: It is, It really is a, a driving force, you know?
Stacey Garcelon: Cunning, baffling, powerful.
Heidi Heckaman: But we lose our imagination, like, and it's so sad because
like you can dream. And like I remember thinking I would never be past that. And then I got past it and I'm like, Oh my gosh, there's all this other stuff. You know, like I didn't, it, it came, became such a foreign concept to me. Cause I, it's like you [00:06:00] isolate yourself and that's, that connection is the key.
Lisa Scheller: Mm-hmm. . Yes.
Heidi Heckaman: I'm hearing a lot of studies that are even like where science is gonna start backing up, I feel like too. You know?
Stacey Garcelon: It is.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah. It really is. It's...
Stacey Garcelon: We're literally wired for connection. The nervous system is wired for it.
Heidi Heckaman: Absolutely. And, it's a isolating disease, right?
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm.
Heidi Heckaman: And it does it, you know, it knows what it's doing clearly.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Sure. Heidi, First of all, I just wanna say thank you for sharing all that. That's a lot to share.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And that is, so I think empowering for people to listen, the struggles that you've been through and how, uh, the addiction grabbed you and as you said, made you do things you wouldn't normally do.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And that there's nothing to be ashamed of.
That's just how it happens. And look at you now.
Heidi Heckaman: I think one of the best things I did, in fact on the top three besides, uh, getting saved and, uh, marrying my husband, was forgiving myself.
Lisa Scheller: Oh yes.
Heidi Heckaman: Like, you know what, like a [00:07:00] sober healthy me, I'm not gonna ignore my children. You know, I'm not gonna pick drugs over that, that's not me, but the disease.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah.
Heidi Heckaman: And the drugs will.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah.
Heidi Heckaman: You know, so I just had to forgive myself, like, did I fail for a moment at some times, you know, Did I fall short? Yes, I did. But that's okay.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Right.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm.
Heidi Heckaman: Right? Like, let's move forward.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Good for you. Oh, you bring a tear to my eye. Uh, well, tell us what it's like being a recovery coach then, and what is... for, again, for someone listening and struggling and thinking, Wow, I could use a recovery coach. What is that and what does it look like?
Heidi Heckaman: So recovery coaching is a beautiful, beautiful... I just am so, uh,
Jeanne Ann Cannon: excited.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah, I really am because it's people with lived experience. Like I know what it feels like to be dope sick or wanting more, or can't handle my children or whatever's going on, or even life. I have no idea how to cope with it.
I understand [00:08:00] how all those things are because I've been there, but I also have gotten out, and so I know that there is a pathway that's unique for everybody and you can find your own. So I get to be there to support you and to help you find that path of your own.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Wow.
Stacey Garcelon: Beautiful.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And how literally is that done?
Again, for someone listening, how do they even think about getting a recovery coach? Or what do you do? Do you meet every day once a week? Is it like a sponsor?
Heidi Heckaman: It's definitely not a sponsor. Um, but there's multiple ways too. Um, You can go online at Oak Lawn Psychiatric, Well, it's probably just Oaklawn.org.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Okay.
Heidi Heckaman: But at Oakland Psychiatric Center, um, they do a wonderful job of presenting multiple pathways to a recovery coach. Whether it be you're already in services and you just ask your therapist. Um, we have the rapid access, which is the cafe where I'm at, um, right up the road from Oak Lawn, where, So [00:09:00] it's not in a institution setting, you know, because some people, like, they've been, there's trauma, you know?
Like I can't go there or this is gonna happen or that's gonna happen, you know?
Stacey Garcelon: Or if I go there they'll take my kids away.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes. There's so many theories.
Lisa Scheller: A trust issue.
Heidi Heckaman: And there's, you know, and there's legitimate reasons like people have, you know, it's a rough world.
Stacey Garcelon: Exactly.
Heidi Heckaman: It is a, a viperous world out there. You know, you think you have these friends, but everybody else in that world, you know of, of using, has that one thing over everything.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Right.
Heidi Heckaman: You know, so there can't be this beautiful connection because, And more important than you, is that thing. So if I have to step over you to get that, I mean, I'm gonna have to step over you to get that, you know?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: In your usage.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes. In your usage. Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: But in recovery, if someone's looking to get a recovery coach..
Heidi Heckaman: Yes.
In recovery. Um, so you can go to the Recovery Cafe, it's open nine to five, that's at 333 [00:10:00] North Main St. In South Bend. Um, it's in walking distance of, Weather Amnesty is gonna be opening up soon. So that's a, a big, uh, the homeless shelter. Different things, Oak Lawn.. And that's a comfortable place where, you don't even, I mean, you don't have to come in talking about recovery yet.
You're not there. That's fine. Grab a cup of coffee, sit down, you know, just a safe place.
Lisa Scheller: Just be.
Heidi Heckaman: Safe place where you don't have to use, you know, like, especially like with women, I'm realizing like there's places where they don't get to go places where they don't have to use or do something. You know, so here's a safe place, come in.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: So for someone to find out more about the specifics about, again, where you're located or when do you go and what time. So they would just call Oaklawn.
Heidi Heckaman: You can call Oaklawn. That number is (574) 283-1234. Um, there is the press, uh, option one, which is for our pretty new, uh, mobile crisis [00:11:00] unit. Which is another beautiful program where they have therapists and coaches go out into the community to avoid... the eighth time the police have came, for like a mental illness or addiction.
Like we don't always have to go with the emergency room or the police department. Sometimes we can come and we can intervene or deescalate. Yes. And so we're not straining these other resources and we're getting people help.
Stacey Garcelon: The help they need, not the criminal charges and the judgment and the..
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Not the punitive.
Lisa Scheller: Then it just builds on like the criminal part. Then it just builds on them to use more. They need to have somebody help them.
Stacey Garcelon: And it's light at the end of that tunnel.
Heidi Heckaman: It is.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: I love what you say. You gave us the example before we got on today, a little bit. You said, Heidi, that if someone's hesitant, if I'm using and having problems and I'm scared to death to call anyone and reach out, um, to [00:12:00] call and attend this recovery, you know, your cafe, and just listen.
Stacey Garcelon: Just hang out.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And just get a sense of can I move forward or not.
Heidi Heckaman: That is, um, one of the big things about the cafe, is it's a
Jeanne Ann Cannon: -no pressure
Heidi Heckaman: -safe place. Yes, No pressure. There's, you know, a couple rules, of course, like. Oh, don't glorify drugs or don't sleep on, you know, And even then, you know, sometimes they're bendable, but they're just regular polite rules, you know?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Yes, yes.
Heidi Heckaman: But I mean, to get off and then I do as much as possible, like trying to get resources, like socks. I mean, I have people come in and, you know, they're cold or they're, they just need, it's gonna be raining season, you know, they need dry clothes. So we try to, if we don't have onsite to connect, To other resources in our community.
We are...
Stacey Garcelon: -that's beautiful.
Heidi Heckaman: -Very active in always That's what I said, finding resources. So I mean, it's a part of [00:13:00] like my recovery coach hat is on, That's always what I'm looking for is more resources. Where can I send people to get that? You need that exact need? Oh my gosh, I know a place. Here you go. Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And so if someone, even though that is in South Bend and Elkhart and Goshen and you have outpatient primarily in one and one inpatient in Goshen, what you're saying is anyone can come to this cafe.
Heidi Heckaman: Oh yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Find out information.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And say your in Michigan City, maybe you'd be able to help them find things here. But this is such a safe haven.
It might be a nice thing to do.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah. And so, and then we also have the Q RT line, which, um, is... They are like four different counties, if I'm correct.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Uhhuh.
Heidi Heckaman: And so it's a simple number. Oh my gosh. Please don't ask me cause I don't have it. I can give it to you next time.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: They can see it online.
Heidi Heckaman: Oh yes. And definitely oakland.org. But um, and that's at least to call, you know, maybe like being in person or maybe you don't have a vehicle or a ride or..
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Sure.
Heidi Heckaman: -Whatever. Or you're kind of far away, but you still have questions. [00:14:00] Like in the QRT line, they also, parents, family members, they can call, you know?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Loved ones of someone struggling.
Heidi Heckaman: You know, that's, I mean, that's probably one of the biggest things is the misunderstanding of addiction, and I think as a whole, We can always be better.
Right?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Yeah.
Heidi Heckaman: We can always learn a little more..
Stacey Garcelon: And it's a family disease.
Lisa Scheller: Yes.
Heidi Heckaman: It so is.
Stacey Garcelon: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Well, and maybe Lisa, you can talk for a second about the fact of being a family member of someone who's struggling and say that someone is not ready, even if it's a, a spouse or a sibling or a child.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: If they're not ready to get help..
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm. ,
Jeanne Ann Cannon: -as a family member, it's so important to understand our role.
Lisa Scheller: Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: And what we can do that can be helpful? What we do is enabling..? I don't know, Lisa, do you wanna say anything about that?
Lisa Scheller: Yeah. You know, um, we've come so far in the recovery, um, arena now over the past 10 years. When we were going through this, it was just very limited resources.
And I think what's important is that we do understand [00:15:00] it's just not for the addict, it's for the family members because they get caught up in this disease as well, because they're trying to fix it, they're trying to cure it, They're trying to make it go away because it's just being such a inconvenience to, you know, it's really impacting the family.
So I think, you know, it's great that there are family resources out there now too, because the healing starts when everybody admits that there's a problem and the addict has get their help and the family has to get their help so that they can you know, move forward.
Heidi Heckaman: Healing, I think is one of the keys.
Stacey Garcelon: Yeah.
Heidi Heckaman: You know?
Jeanne Ann Cannon: I so appreciate you brought that up, Heidi, about family members. So they just call your hotline?
Heidi Heckaman: Yes, they can. I mean, they could come to the cafe if they wanted to. We have plenty of people and I, um, that lived experience, I understand addiction in the using aspect and I also have a loved one.
My husband is in recovery as well, so like I understand both sides of it. I'll tell you, coaching goes out the window when it's your loved one. I'm like, Come here, [00:16:00] come here now. You're doing this. And it and it.. And unfortunately doesn't always work that way, you know? And we have the right, I see a lot of time, um, People crippled by their family.
And I can hear, you know, like that their family just loves 'em and they don't know what to do. They're exhausted. Maybe they've exhausted their resources. How many, you know, times they've put their trust and money and resources and energy and time and hope into it. Yeah. And their hearts are broken. They see the light that the addict doesn't see.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Right.
Heidi Heckaman: And so they're, They need help too. And they need to heal.
Stacey Garcelon: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Well, and there's so many, As a member, family member of a addicted person, there's so many things we do that are right, and so many things we do that are not right and not helpful. So education about it..
Stacey Garcelon: And support.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Yeah.
Lisa Scheller: And the community support, and I feel that's what really helped me is that I did have a community of people that [00:17:00] rallied around and tried to get us to where we needed to go.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm. ,
Lisa Scheller: -but it was quite the journey on the other side.
Heidi Heckaman: It is. And you were talking 10 years ago. There's so many resources that have come in the last 10 years.
Lisa Scheller: You know, that's what the purpose of the whole podcast is, to let people know, you know, number one is it's okay cuz it's not gonna go away. And number two is we want to help you find those resources because they're available.
And you know, it takes a community to-
Stacey Garcelon: mm-hmm. ,
Lisa Scheller: -bring it to the forefront and say, Okay, we understand. Let's just figure out what the problem and then..
Heidi Heckaman: And the cat is out of the bag.
Lisa Scheller: Yes.
Heidi Heckaman: It touches everybody. It's a disease. The science is gonna back it up. It's not, you know, that stigma that well, they just choose to do that, so they should just suffer with it.
You know, like, no, the cat outta the bag now. It's a disease, and uh, it's crippling.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Well, gosh. Thank you Heidi. And you know, for anyone listening, you can call any one of us. You certainly can call Heidi, uh, herself [00:18:00] at Oaklawn or call Oaklawn. Um, Megan, thank you for all your tech help. Um, but is there anything else, Heidi, that you, someone listening that you think you'd wanna say to them?
If they're thinking either a family member or a person struggling?
Heidi Heckaman: Okay.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: What might be some thoughts that you'd wanna leave with them about getting help and why it's okay to get help?
Heidi Heckaman: Okay. So yeah, I'll go on two sides of that.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Okay.
Heidi Heckaman: Um, one side, I know it's, it's scary... change. It's as crazy as and chaotic as that life looks on the outside.
That's your normal, that's what you've gotten used to.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Mm-hmm. .
Heidi Heckaman: That's where that imagination has went out. And you can dream that you can be past this and it's possible, but you, Have to be the one to initiate that first step. It can be a question, a click on your mouse to look at something, on your phone, a phone call, something. You have to start somewhere.
So, and it's possible, like I can't explain. It's [00:19:00] possible. Like I promise you can do it!
Stacey Garcelon: You can do it!
Lisa Scheller: And then it's a journey. You know, that you journeyed through it and it's not a destination. Like one day you're this, and then the next day you're that, and it's gonna be perfect because it's not gonna be perfect.
We all have to go through.
Stacey Garcelon: But it's a journey. It's a beautiful journey.
Heidi Heckaman: What I see is like, I see people learn out of those.. Stepped the wrong way, or those different slipups, even. Like I see, just immense amount of learning and like growth in those moments. So it's okay. Like anything that is bad can be also turned to good.
Stacey Garcelon: Mm-hmm. .
Heidi Heckaman: So..
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Yeah.
Heidi Heckaman: And then the other side, I'd say you're, maybe your heart stirs? Like you wanna help people, right? You have a family member, you have lived experience. Um, we do have a, a recovery coach training coming up.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Oh, nice.
Heidi Heckaman: In November. Oaklawn is amazing. They actually cover the cost for it.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Oh.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes. Yes.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: That's exciting.
Stacey Garcelon: That's exciting.
Heidi Heckaman: It is. [00:20:00] So, um, oakland.org or they have a Facebook page and, uh, love, love is the answer. Love yourself and have, you know, family numbers, love your people. Like that's exciting.
Stacey Garcelon: I love that you said love yourself.
Lisa Scheller: Yeah.
Stacey Garcelon: That's often the most difficult.
Heidi Heckaman: Yeah, that's hard.
Lisa Scheller: And we gotta start there, you know?
And. .
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Move on..
Stacey Garcelon: Yeah.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Right.
Stacey Garcelon: And if we can't yet love ourselves, let us love you until you can love ourselves.
Heidi Heckaman: And that's the beautiful part about my job is because sometimes we are not people that we really like.
Stacey Garcelon: Right.
Heidi Heckaman: And so we have to work and change those things. Yeah. So, I can love you . Just the way you come.
You know, I don't..
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Just the way you come.
Lisa Scheller: And meet you right there.
Heidi Heckaman: Yes, right there. That's my job.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: No judgment.
Heidi Heckaman: And that's where God has me. Doing that. So.
Lisa Scheller: Yes.
Heidi Heckaman: I'm glad.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Heidi, thank you.
Stacey Garcelon: Thank you.
Lisa Scheller: Thank you very much for being with us.
Jeanne Ann Cannon: Lisa, thank you. Stacey, thank you. Megan, thank you. Thank you for joining us today and our wish, as we say every week [00:21:00] is, as Heidi said so beautifully,
um, not only be kind to yourself, but love yourself. And that's where it begins, and that's where you get the courage to reach out and get some help. Thank you, and we'll see you next week. Bye.
Stacey Garcelon: Thank you.
Lisa Scheller: Thank you.
Annoucement: If you enjoy today's episode, let us know by leaving a comment or review and sharing with a friend. All resources mentioned today and a whole transcript of this episode can be found by going to our website www.healingwithconnection.com. A video of this recording can be found on our YouTube channel, and the audio podcast is available on Spotify, Apple and Google Podcasts.