I had not intended to wait this long to make my first blog post of the year. But, I started my year off with a positive covid test, so… here we are.
I made a long post on my personal Facebook page that I wanted to share here. If you’ve already read it (or just don’t want to), skip past the italics.
It all started with a slight headache on the first day (didn’t feel outside of normal, happened late in the day, and I didn’t think anything of it). Woke up the next day feeling a little off with a slight cough (but again, didn’t feel really outside of normal for me this time of year). The next day I woke up feeling worse (thought maybe I had a normal flu) and got a positive test a few hours later.
The day after that saw me get a runny nose. Cough. Itchy throat. A near constant headache. Occasional stomach pain. Muscle pains that hurt so bad I could hardly move (though they hurt whether I was moving or not). And so much fatigue.
All of this continued to get worse. There were about twelve hours where I could barely sleep because it felt like I had to make myself breathe, and it felt like I had to really push to make it happen. My head was so congested that I could barely think straight. I thought I was going to be one of those headlines about the young people who succumbed to this illness. It was absolutely terrifying.
Diarrhea did come on, but it wasn’t like I was constantly in the bathroom. When I had to go, that was what was happening. Nothing that needed a crazy stash of toilet paper (which was good because we were almost out when we started quarantine).
We actually had an ambulance here at one point, just to make sure that our breathing was okay and we didn’t need to go to the hospital. We were given peace of mind and the green light to stay home. But, considering neither of us can afford health insurance, that should be a pretty big indicator as to where Ryan and I were with this crap.
I have spent most of my time since the positive test in bed, not even being able to sit up or stand for too long without my head starting to pound and my breathing acting like I’ve been running. I am only just getting to the point that I can last more than a few hours before I feel like I have to lie back down.
At this point, I am no longer considered contagious (as of two days ago). But I am still symptomatic. The clinic told me to expect to be dealing with symptoms for months. Yes, I meant to say months. My cough has not gone away and, if anything, has gotten more persistent. I am coughing up so much phlegm that I feel like I need a spittoon. And my head pounds every time I cough, so the headache hasn’t gone away, either. As I said, I can sit up and stand for more than a few hours now, but I’m still feeling that fatigue. And the muscle pains still pop up, mostly in my shoulders and legs (but nothing like what they were in the thick of this illness).
Other things:
My smell hasn’t been as strong (which could also be because of the stuffy/runny nose). I didn’t lose my taste, but some things have tasted different, and my appetite pretty much disappeared. I lost ten pounds by day 5. And now very regularly (like, multiple times throughout the day) smell burnt rubber.
I didn’t personally experienced much (if any) in the way of fever, though I only had it checked at the clinic (normal). With that said, I did experienced sweats and shivers, both, so… Ryan struggled with fever the entire time.
This has not been just like a regular flu for us. I don’t do it justice describing how awful this has been. Ryan and I had already planned to get vaccinated before getting it, anyway. But I never want to go through this again. Especially dealing with being so sick and not being able to help Ryan when he’s so sick, too. We WILL be getting vaccinated as soon as we’re able to. I NEVER want to have to go through this again (I would literally rather have to go through partial paralysis and spend months regaining the use of my leg again).
I feel weird posting this and wasn’t sure if I was actually going to, but I decided I should. I wanted to share my experience because not a lot of people (that I’ve seen) have given this kind of detail and, I know I searched endlessly for this kind of information during the times I was really struggling with worry over the past year. All the stories I found were either “it wasn’t that bad” or “they died.” But I wanted the ones that really talked specifically about what was going on, especially for people who fell somewhere in between those experiences.
This was awful. Covid was an awful experience. Going through it myself, not being able to help Ryan as he went through it with me… there was a lot of fear and there were a lot of tears in our house. And knowing that I’ll be experiencing some of these symptoms for months? I’m thankful that I already have a therapist.
I had so many things planned for the start of the year. And they’re things I’m still intending (and just kind of starting) to do. I’m two weeks behind schedule and moving slower than is wanted, but I’m looking forward to the things I’ll be accomplishing this year.
The journey may have had a bit of a roadblock, but it’s not ending. We’ve taken the detour, picked up the extra baggage, and are back on the road.
Let’s see where 2021 takes us.