A couple of days ago, while getting my kids ready for school, one of them started asking me about something she clearly finds very exciting: becoming an adult. ๐
"Mum, when I grow up and become an adult, can I bathe myself before going to school?"
"Yes, you will."
"Can I dress myself, take care of myself and take myself to school?"
"Yes, you will be doing all of that for yourself and much more."
Then came the important question.
"Mum, will I also be cooking my own food?" ๐คฃ ๐คฃ
I laughed and told her, "Yes! You will not only be cooking for yourself, you will be cooking for Mummy, Daddy, your siblings and everyone around you too." ๐คฃ ๐
She seemed very pleased with this picture of adulthood. ๐ซฃ
Meanwhile, Mummy was standing there thinking, my darling, enjoy where you are first. ๐
I remember feeling exactly the same way at her age. I could not wait to grow up, make my own decisions and become independent. Now adulthood has arrived with its bills, schedules, responsibilities, school runs, work and an endless list of things that apparently need my attention. Suddenly, childhood is looking very attractive again but unfortunately, I can't revert back. ๐คฃ
I even recall how my dad used to insist that I take a siesta when I was little. At the time, I considered it almost an injustice. Imagine being instructed to sleep in the afternoon when there were important childhood activities waiting for me! ๐ Today, give me the opportunity to take an uninterrupted afternoon nap, and I will gladly accept it with gratitude.
Such is the irony of life. My daughter cannot wait to become an adult, while Mummy occasionally wants to submit an application to become a child again. ๐
But our little conversation left me thinking about something deeper.
We spend childhood learning to do things for ourselves.
Learning to dress yourself, prepare food, solve problems, make decisions and eventually navigate the world independently is part of growing up.
Independence is something we develop gradually.
Yet at the same moment that my daughter is excited about gaining more independence, technology is becoming increasingly capable of taking tasks away from us.
AI can write for us, summarize for us, research for us, plan for us, code for us and increasingly act on our behalf.
And this has created an interesting conversation in Human-Computer Interaction research around something called cognitive offloading: allowing technology to carry some of the mental work we would otherwise do ourselves.
Cognitive offloading is not automatically bad. We have always used tools to reduce unnecessary mental effort. Calculators save us from tedious arithmetic. Calendars remember appointments so our brains do not have to. AI can similarly remove repetitive work and give us more time for creativity, judgement and meaningful problem-solving.
The concern begins when assistance quietly becomes dependence.
Recent HCI research is examining whether prolonged reliance on AI could contribute to overreliance, reduced critical engagement and gradual loss of skills. The interesting question researchers are now asking is not simply whether AI makes us more productive, but whether we can design AI that improves our performance while preserving our ability to think and act independently.
I think that is a fascinating UX challenge.
Perhaps good AI should help us, not make us helpless
Imagine an AI writing assistant that immediately rewrites everything for you. That is convenient.
But imagine another that sometimes asks, "What are you trying to communicate?" before helping you strengthen your own idea.
Both systems use AI.
But they may leave the human with very different experiences.
Recent research makes an important distinction between using AI while retaining control of our thinking and gradually transferring that control to the technology. We can trust AI and still question, verify, override and make the final decision ourselves.
That distinction matters to UX designers.
Perhaps our responsibility is not simply to make AI effortless.
Perhaps we should also design moments that encourage people to think, choose, question and remain involved.
The best AI experience may not always be the one that does absolutely everything for us.
Sometimes it might be the one that knows what to do for us and what we should still do for ourselves.
And that brings me back to my daughter.
One day, she really will bathe herself, dress herself, make her own decisions and, yes, hopefully cook something delicious for Mummy too. ๐โค๏ธ
But for now, I want her to enjoy this stage.
Because every stage of life gives us something different. Childhood gives us the space to be cared for while gradually learning independence. Adulthood gives us the privilege and responsibility of exercising it.
Once a season passes, we cannot simply rewind life and experience it exactly the same way again.
So perhaps there are two lessons here.
Enjoy the stage of life you are in while you are there.
And as AI becomes increasingly capable of doing things for us, let us design it in a way that helps humans become more capable, not less.
Because sometimes being able to do something for yourself is not an inconvenience that needs to be automated away.
It is part of what helped you grow.
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