Balancing social needs and chronic illness and chronic pain and chronic fatigue and neurodivergence has proved to be a task that I'm not able to currently manage. I am working on trying to build new ways to approach filling this need and I have a few observations.
To start with disabled people don't stop needing social fulfillment when they become disabled or more disabled than they had been previously when a new disability is added or a existing one changes. They do however have a much harder time accessing society.
For me, many people are exhausting because being around them requires masking around them and managing them. I spent years trying to figure out why some people were draining and others weren't and it was masking this entire time. It's something I no longer have the energy to do. I can not begin to describe how exhausting and heavy a burden masking around people is.
I have been isolated for years now because of the amount of caution that was necessary to protect my health. I am even more isolated now while I live through the consequences of someone not taking those necessary precautions seriously enough. I just don't have the energy to do things with people or be useful/entertaining enough for them to seek out spending time with me.
On rare days I feel up to socializing the pool of people I can think of whose interactions I have don't have to manage carefully or that I don't have to mask around is very very small.
If you want to be a better ally and friend to your disabled friends show up for them where they are able to meet you.
If you want to be a better ally and friend to your ND friends be a safe person for them to be their authentic selves around.
If you're one of the very rare mythical unicorns of a person who already does this - thank you I love you for it.