Duncan F
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How did I get here?

How did I get here?

Sep 05, 2022

If you have read any of my blog (linked elsewhere) you will know the story of my family and the last few years. If not, I will attempt to bring you up to speed.

In early 2016, after a period of progressively worse stomach pains, my wife was diagnosed with cancer in the peritoneum, mesothelioma to be precise. This is extremely rare, and unfortunately incurable. That year she underwent 6 gruelling rounds of chemotherapy, which managed to shrink the tumours enough for her to have a 10 hour operation in May 2017. During this the surgeons removed many major organs, before leaving her in an induced coma for a week, and then ICU for a further couple of weeks. All while our children were still in school (our daughter was 11, our son 6).

Thankfully she made a full recovery (or as much as it can be), and we managed to enjoy some family time, all the while hoping that advancement would be made towards a cure.

Unfortunately the tumours came back much faster than had been hoped, and in 2018, she started immunotherapy, which would be less aggressive than chemo. Where chemo destroys everything, immunotherapy uses your bodies own defences to fight the cancer. However, after 5 rounds, her body decided it didn't like this, and effectively shut everything down, from initially her lungs, and soon everything else. I can still picture sitting by her seat in the hospital after 6 hours of waiting and encouraging her to breath as the doctor told her they were going to put her in a coma to save her life. That wasnt the first, and certainly not the last time I cried whilst driving home to the children.

This time for three weeks, they kept her alive, pumping all sorts into her body to stop its own urges, before being able to bring her gradually back to consciousness. But this story has to have a twist, and in that instance it was a stroke that has caused the loss of eyesight on the left hand side, along with an extreme loss strength and mental ability.

Recovery has been long and frustrating, but we have managed to keep going. Last year again she had more chemo, and this year she had radiotherapy, all designed to try and shrink the tumours, that have now started to spread to the liver and pelvis.

Where will we go now? I hope upwards and onwards, gathering strength, but always have a pessimistic thought in my head after all the twists and turns that something else will pop up.

Our story will be updated, both here and on my blog, and I also hope to offer some form of comfort to people that may be going through the same instances of heartache and anguish.

Update Aug 2023

Things haven’t gone upwards unfortunately, and my wife has now lost alot of weight as the cancer spreads slowly through her body. At this point there is no further treatment available, and so we wait and hope it doesn’t get too bad before something is.

She gets very tired, struggles eating, and is totally changed from the woman I married nearly 20 years ago.

Mentally I am coming to terms with where we are, but boy is it tough.

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