People are judgemental. I'm judgemental. You're judgemental. Hell, even babies are judgemental. Whether we think we judge people or not, we do. Even when we try our damnedest not to judge, we most always fall short. We can't help it, it's a natural thing. Don't start judging yourself for judging everyone you see and then freaking out because you've just realized that you too are a judgemental prick. It's okay. Really. You'll be fine.
Don't believe me? That's okay too. Let me show you why and how, every little thing, is gonna be alright. So don't worry. Just hang on and bear with me; this could get a little racy.
So, not that it should matter, I am a white guy. Heh. See that? Already society is judging me for the color of my skin. Shoving me into a separate category, defining my limits, and setting the tone on how I should live my life. Ain't that some shit. Well, what can you do? I'll tell you what we can do; stop giving a damn. For reals. Stop letting other people define and label you. Like, right now. And, for goodness sake, stop doing it to others. You're better than that. We're all better than that. How about this. How about; we do this together.
Imagine, if you will, that you grew up in a small town. Had family and friends that both you loved and that loved you. Also imagine that these people, your family, were just like you. Talked the same way, looked very similar to you, liked doing the same things. When they scraped their knees riding bikes, their blood even looked like yours. Ha! That's cool, right? Now imagine, and here comes the racy part, that someone new shows up in your school. A new kid. Your age. You see them and introduce yourself and you immediately hit it off. Best friends. Oh yeah. You're cool now, you think. Your parents will be proud you made friends with the new kid. You tell your mom about them and ask if they can come with you to a family event. She smiles and says of course they can.
This is going well for you. You've got it made. You'll be the talk of the town now. The event comes and you go with your family and new best friend. The whole ride you are glowing over the excitement of what your cousins and older relatives will say. How proud they'll be. Oh, joy. You show up and fling yourself out of the car as if you've just entered into a new plane of existence where you are in control. The sound of adults talking and children playing fills the air. You only notice the sound because immediately after, it stops. Everything gets real quiet. You and your best friend are standing there, in front of your loved ones. And no one's looking at you.
Later, you ask your mother why everyone was staring at your friend, why none of your cousins wanted to play with them. Why they got mad at you because you brought them and you had to play with only your friend and watch your cousins play sports. You try to reason it out to her. Maybe it was because they wanted to play with you or they wanted to tell you a secret and didn't want your friend to hear. Maybe another kid meant less candy or presents to go around. You ask questions until you're blue in the face. And at that point, the point to which you've reached the limitations of how far you're child-mind can see, she finally tells you. Your mother looks at you, in her motherly way, and says, "Honey, it's because your friend is different. They're not like us. Your friend comes from a different world." She then pauses, after seeing a confused look on your face, and she finishes, "It's because your friend is black."
Imagine, if you're still reading this, that you, as a child, had no concept of this. No concept of black or white. Rich or poor. Smart or dumb. Hate and discrimination. All you grew up knowing was the people closest to you and the love your mother had for you. Now you know and you can never go back to not knowing. Your whole world has changed. Now you are seeing people differently just because they are not like you. They look and sound different. After the initial fear of it goes away, your thinking returns to a manageable level. You now understand what it is like to see things that way. Think about people like that. Judge them for what they look like instead of who they are.
That's the ticket, isn't it? To understand how to do it, know what it does to people. To you. Know ways to avoid doing it and understand that it is wrong to do it but still know that it is ok if you do. All you have to do is remember that the act of doing it is what makes it a bad thing, as well as holding on to those thoughts.
If that's all that we, as people, tried even a smidgen to do every day; then we would all be better for it. The world would be a better place. To quote a famous king; "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change."
Can it be that simple? I guess we'll have to find that out together too. I'm willing. Are you?