What the hell is forgiveness anyway? People walk around as if forgiveness is some sort of tangible object given to those who they deem worthy. They act as if the ones not worthy of their sacred "forgiven badge", are doomed to forever live alone in exile. SPOILER ALERT, the ones you don't forgive probably don't give a crap and they are going to keep on living their lives however they want, with your forgiveness or not.
Forgiveness is not an object, it is a state of consciousness, and consciousness is a state of being. I know it sounds very "woo woo" but stay with me here.
Like most of the human population, I have endured traumas in life at the hands of others and like most, I have held on to the accompanied resentments and anger. On the flip side of that coin, I have undoubtedly been the cause of trauma to others. I have yet to see any life be adversely impacted by my willingness to forgive or not. Likewise, my life hasn't been adversely impacted by not being forgiven.
The only person forgiveness matters to is the person who is hurting. An unwillingness to forgive others is an attempt to have some sort of control over the bad thing that happened. As long as you hold onto that pain and resentment, you have an excuse to stay mad and put on a false shield of bravado. Deep down though, you know you aren't in control and you hurt.
Forgiveness is not for others, it is for ourselves. We are the ones that need forgiveness and that forgiveness can only come from deep within our own mind. Forgive yourself for blaming yourself. Forgive yourself for putting yourself down, and for believing the lies told by the mind while in darkness. Forgive yourself for the anger. Forgive yourself for sometimes not being ok.
We all have the ability to live in a conscious state of forgiveness. We all have the ability to let go of trauma. When you achieve this state of being, your anger towards others will turn to pity and compassion. How angry and unforgiving of themselves must they have been to do the things they have done?
Learn to love and forgive within your own spirit. Learn to be present in every moment, learn to not dwell in the past or hide from the future. Be present now and walk in peace.