TIMETAYTEM, Special Chapter 1-2

TIMETAYTEM, Special Chapter 1-2

Jun 11, 2024

[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies

 Special (Arm-Tay) Chapter 1:

“Flowers are a way to express yourself..”

-Tay-.

“What's wrong with you... If you miss your husband so much, just go by the lake behind the alley, he is training the new guards.” Taekhun lay sprawled on the sofa, flipping channels on the large screen TV absentmindedly, looking tired under his darkened eyes as if he hadn't slept in a week. Honestly, I didn't want to bother him. I know what he's currently facing must be exhausting, no matter how much everyone around him, including me, is also struggling. I really don't want to add meaningless thoughts to his already burdened mind. But...

Arm and I have been living together for many months now. People around us are happy with our relationship, this time we are openly together. But, why does it bother me like this! Even though I am the one who should understand it the most. Ouch!

“What... how should I start?!!” I slapped myself hard in my mind... and my heart was troubled even more by not having anyone to talk to, especially since I don't have many people around me to choose from. I decided to consult with Taekhun, who I know very well won't be able to help much.

“Hot tea for you, Young Master.” Pon came over with a cup, but it was me who grabbed the cup without manners and drank it without any courtesy, until Pon looked at me puzzled and stared at me walking back and forth, not sitting still, filled with questions about people.

“Just speak already! Form subjects, verbs, objects, form sentences, ooh! Extraordinary people.” Taekhun. He didn't hold back his thoughts, just observing my behavior as if I were his own subordinates.

“The job is tough, isn't it.” I spoke to myself thoughtfully. Yes, Arm works very hard. Every time he comes home, he always falls asleep as if he was dead, just like...

[Flashback]

I have been trying hard every day to produce a special fragrance that is prepared by my own hands. I am ready to add pheromone extracts that create feelings of love, sexual desire, and deep longing. All senses are engaged -- sight, taste, smell, sound, and touch. I light scented candles inside the room along with orange-coloured flames, creating a romantic and relaxing atmosphere. I bathe myself in the intoxicating fragrance before wrapping myself in a crisp white bath towel that is so sharp it almost seems transparent. I don't necessarily need to cover up, but to create a sexy atmosphere I choose to. Excitedly, I then look at the clock with anticipation.

Phew. I inhale deeply before exhaling to keep my excitement contained. I have been feeling restless for almost a week now, because as a man, my desires almost never get fulfilled. The more I try to hold back, the more they multiply. Moreover, when Arm wears the fragrance I made for him, and mixes it with his sweat, it's enough to drive me crazy. There are times when I try so hard. I wear shorts, take off my shirt, caress myself, caress him, damn! It all ends with a kiss and then we lay down and hold hands like we always do.

Damn it! I'm so frustrated, Arm loves me so much, I know. He has never kept any secrets from me, never flirted with anyone on the phone, and he has never let his gaze wander to anyone else. It behaves so well that I have no reason to be jealous of anything, but my heart is heavy, damn it! My heart is heavy!

Is it too much work? Is it tiring? Or is it something else entirely...is he disgusted with me? Or maybe his thing is just small, or it doesn’t have any virility, ohhh!!! I am on the edge of death! But I’m not selfish. If Arm’s appendage is smaller than mine, or if he lacks stamina to have sex, I just want you to see it with my own eyes once what it really is, or maybe he just wants to hold my hand for the rest of our life?

Dammit! We fell in love with each other today. Before we had sex we spent most of the time holding hands, what the hell! Is this a song?

But I desperately want to do it. If his thing is smaller than mine, I promise not to bully him or make an issue of it. But my shaft is standard Thai male size. Another thing, when he wears a swimsuit, Arm’s crotch looks like he's about to burst out of it. Is the suit too tight, or is he trying to intimidate the younger guards? Who knows?! Big, short, long, small, oh my! Anything goes but I can't keep wondering so much!!! Is it holding a secret weapon or something? Hey! I really wonder about you!!! I'm so jealous of you!!! I want us to be together in every way, physically and emotionally, fully and completely, do you understand? Should we have a wedding first? Handcuffs, handcuffs, whips and chains, what's next! I'm ready!! And I won't care about anything anymore because today I will conquer it all!..

Suddenly, the sound of the door to my room being opened made me realize instantly that Arm was back.

So, I checked myself in the mirror again to make sure everything looked good. No sweat stains, no perfume spots in various pulse points to stimulate all glands to produce the kind of excitement that tonight you don't have to sleep and the sky will stay yellow together!

How's it going!!! Gimme a little, Tay!..

Eeet~I opened the bathroom door slowly and stepped out with my left foot first, lifting my heel slightly to add a bit of sexiness. Under the dim light filtering through the blinds, hoping it would create a more intense atmosphere to make it even more exciting than before, but as soon as I took a glance around, the lights, shadows, colors. The sounds I carefully constructed...

“Oh my.”

I gazed around the dimly lit room with confusion, seeing Arm lying motionless in the middle of the bed, looking exhausted.

“Why did you leave the candles lit? It might burn the house down.” Arm spoke softly with a groggy voice before snuggling under the blankets and falling asleep peacefully. Damn it!!! You not only extinguish the fire but also extinguish my dreams? Damn it!!! Argh, I've been struggling to stay awake for so long. Did you blow it all out until it was completely extinguished, including my feelings too? Damn you, Arm!

Thinking about it made me resentful, so I quickly climbed up onto the bed before grabbing the pillow to muffle it with a heavy sigh.

“Wake up right now!!! Hey! I've been putting in effort to set the mood for a long time already. Wake up!” I expressed, with my heart still unyielding. Even though at this moment the sensitive part of me had shrunk back completely, too.

“I am tired, I will bathe first thing tomorrow.” Arm said in a coaxing tone, covering himself up with a blanket and adding even more dramatization to my frustration.

“Hey! Meanie! You!!” The desire to dominate replaced the needs within myself. So I went ahead and turned off the aircon! Let him warm up until the blanket wrinkles off, and I was so angry that I had to put on my pajamas and walk down to drink at the bar downstairs. Even though I tried to reduce the tension, the truth was that the matters in bed were part of couples living together, right? If Arm wants something or thinks about something, then why doesn't he just tell me directly? The way he acts, I feel like he might be disgusted with me... What? You see? As I think about it more and more, there are only unresolved issues, and I still can't find a clear answer until now.

“When did you get with Phii Top.” I turned to ask Taekhun, who was laying awake.

“A guy like me? I got him in my bed the first week we met!” Even though his body may seem devastated, his mouth and arrogance didn't seem to lessen at all, not even a bit.

“Really?” I said doubtfully, until Pon standing beside the sofa had to strongly emphasize that it wasn't true.

“Hey!!! Why ask about this? Are you the guy who has not lost his virginity? Damn!!! You! I was the first one to lose my virginity amongst my friends.” Taekhun said. If we were speaking the truth, yes! When I was dating with Time, I had sex plenty! Three times a day, morning, noon, and night before even agreeing to become a couple with mutual consent. But this time it's Arm... he's! Acting all lovey-dovey and shy as a young innocent girl can be.

“Well, it's me! I'm like... not a pure angel, and I've done it before.”

“And?”

“Oh my goodness!!! It's so difficult to talk!” Even though I want to vent my frustrations so badly, it's hard to organize and process anything in my mind. I'm so stressed out!!!

Thunk! The sound of Taekhun's room door opening, followed by the arrival of Pete, the favorite amongst Taekhun's bodyguards.

“I'm here, I'm here...Young Master, I'll leave Venice with you for a bit.” Pete dressed in the uniform of the main family, before placing the Venice on Taekhun's chest, lying on the sofa as if it were a corpse, “Take care of the young one for me. His milk is in the basket, Vegas will come and pick him up in the afternoon. I need to go help that Arm guy.” Pete hurriedly walked out of the room, but I called him back.

“Pete!”

“Yes, Khun Tay.” Pete looked at me, looking confused.

“When did Vegas and you have sex?” My question made Pete's face turn pale instantly, while Pon smirked discreetly, pretending not to see anything.

“Oh my goodness!!! On the first day!” It was Taekhun who answered in place of Pete, who was now frozen in shock, “On the first day he snuck into the Second Family’s house, Vegas was attacked mercilessly without any mercy at all!” Taekhun spoke out until Pete had to walk over to the sofa and cover Young Master's mouth with his hand.

“Oh... it was on the first day.” I said disappointedly with myself.

“Young Master also had a walkie-talkie!” Pete let go of his Young Master and faced out lightly.

“Or did he?”

“Really!” Pete's answer was heavy, hitting harder in my heart at the moment when it stuck and wouldn't go away. Pete had sex with Vegas on the first day he entered the Second Family’s house. If not counting Porsche, it's Pete, who is like a role model that has gained fame for his loving husband foolishly. In addition, Vegas, whoever he comes across, will be afraid, he is no match for Pete at all. There is no good piece left. When I was dating Time, Time used to take Vegas on a trip and met Pete. I must say that the image of Vegas kneeling down towards Pete is still stuck in my mind. Damn! Wearing a necklace with Pete's pendant is cool.

“Khun Tay...” Pete glanced at me before exhaling, as if he knew what I was thinking and how little my heart was with my current relationship situation, “Come with Arm and me...” then Pete walked over to pull my wrist out of the room with a smile that seemed to have something to talk to me about.

“Khun Tay, don't think too much, Arm respects you, Khun Tay that much.” Pete said as he walked to the golf cart before turning his face to help me up, “No worries, Tom, I'll drive to the lake.” Pete chased the bodyguard who was on standby waiting to send Pete out of the car.

“Don't think too much, how can I not?! I've tried many ways already, or maybe it's true that he doesn't love me.” As soon as I saw that we were alone, Pete started to drive the golf cart forward. I hurriedly spoke the words that were tightly held in my heart, almost about to explode.

“He does love you too, loves you very much, loves you until he is scared.” Pete smiled.

“Scared of what?” I asked, turning to look at Pete with a furrowed brow, almost frowning.

“Hehe.” Pete laughed slightly before speaking the truth, “Arm thinks a lot, a lot, because he... never puts anyone else first.”

Pete's words made my head spin for a moment, it was hardly understandable and made no sense at all.

“Huh?”

“Actually, he came to consult with me, your issue is stressful for Arm as well, Khun Tay, this you should know.”

“But at this age…” I started to be speechless, a lot of questions and fantasies rushed into my head.

“What's wrong, it is you Khun Tay who in Arm’s eyes might think that you expect a good performance in bed, this is what he is afraid of...” Pete looked at me, hesitating to speak words that didn't come out of his mouth, then he had to continue...

“Afraid of not being able to compete with Time.”

“What?”

“Why does he think that way! How does he see me.” I blurted out, feeling helpless towards Arm. Normally, I try to understand him, but as I realized his true intentions, I felt increasingly uncomfortable.

“Um...to be honest. Arm is worried that since you are handsome, strong, sexy and an exciting person. You have been through much and have a lot of experience...Arm is the type who doesn't speak much. He doesn't express himself much, he is like a nerd. Do you understand, Khun Tay?" Pete said the truth.

“Umm...” So he said there would be no secrets from us, so why don't we talk directly? Sigh...I feel uncomfortable and really feel bad but let's face it...Arm is the type who doesn't talk much, doesn't really say much anymore.

 I tried to keep calm and process in my mind as much as possible. In reality, it's adorable to care about my feelings, but deep down, it probably fears that I won't approve, and it probably cares a lot about my feelings, but can't show it. This shows that he cares! He's considerate! That thing called Lucas that used to flirt with Arm in England lost...Oh...letting my nerves deteriorate, the blood vessels in my brain almost burst because you probably think I'm a wimp, hmm!!! Arm!

As soon as the golf cart parked at the end of the alley, I saw the large artificial lake where the main family bought it for bodyguard training, especially making me see Arm standing strongly, facing the juniors with a stern expression.

“Team A, Team B, Team C. If you can't follow the schedule, I will order a repair for all, understood!”

“Understood!!!!”

As soon as I stepped off the golf cart, the atmosphere immediately became tense. Not because of my feelings, but because of the strict discipline and intense training that I had never seen before.

I was slightly regretful that Arm saw me because he was busy instructing. Pete put on a cap and quickly went down to practice. Except for me, standing awkwardly on the edge of the pond, where we were ordered to practice by tying our hands and feet before sitting in a rubber boat in the middle of the marsh ready to start the timer.

“The most important thing is teamwork. If your friends are not on time, we will not stop, understood!”

“Understood!!!!”

Why did Arm give orders so confidently or stand upright with such determination, why was he so cool! Let it be, my friend is truly outstanding.

“Ready! Start the timer!!!”

Boom!!! Boom!!! Boom!!! At that moment, everyone on the rubber boat was pushed into the water by the seniors sitting there. Arm observed every move without blinking, and he probably didn't see me standing there looking at him right now because he was completely focused on observing every training behavior with seriousness without losing focus at all.

“Phii Arm... have some cool water!” I raised my eyebrows in surprise as the bodyguards, who I still hadn't really noticed, quickly went to get water for Arm, acting natural and smiling with that refreshing smile - that was Jin.

“Thank you.” Arm took the water and placed it on the table behind him. I stopped focusing on my boyfriend's coolness because now I was staring at Jin, who was walking towards me.

“Are you a water server kid?” I asked him with a displeased face before avoiding eye contact with him and looking elsewhere with my usual nonchalant attitude.

“Um... Hello, KhunTay.” Jin, who initially approached with a bright smile, quickly changed his expression to a shy smile when he saw my face looking at him seriously, and made a humble gesture with a slightly embarrassed look.

“It's hot! Go get some water.” I glanced at Jin out of the corner of my eye. Ever since the day he ate my sandwich, there was still a hint of resentment, even though Arm tried to explain and reassure me that there was nothing wrong. However, everyone understands that I have experienced a love triangle involving Tem before, which led to jealousy, suspicion, and doubt. Maybe there are some lingering remnants that my personality might reveal at times when I want to possess and protect my love alone.

Hmm... it may sound a bit paranoid, but it has become my mantra. The one who does not want anyone to interfere with their loved one anymore...

I know Arm would never do that, but he couldn't help but listen to what was going on.

I don't like arrogant faces at all!! Annoyed! Irritated!!! I'm in a bad mood! Frustrated! Overthinking! Accumulating stress until it explodes in bad behavior! What have I done wrong anyway!?

“Okay, I'll go get it for you.” Jin said, bowing but not looking directly at me.

“Jin! Come here and prepare a bucket of ice water right now!” And Pete shouted to Jin, who was acting awkwardly. I saw this and quickly let him go do his job before taking a slow breath and walking over to the silly tent full of scattered tables and chairs to replace it.

Take a deep breath, Tay. There's nothing wrong. Lately, I've just been thinking a lot, feeling scattered, moody, and getting less sleep. Plus, the sun is still hot. Just keep calm, Tay! I try to tell myself firmly before collapsing into the chair and looking at my friends from afar, who still have no idea that I am here.

“Sorry.” One waiter brought a plate of berry rice with large chicken pieces, salad, mashed potatoes with peeled already and another plate with the same format, but without any vegetables even a little. Will Porsche and Kinn come? Why do we have to prepare rice that looks so stupid?

“Whose is this?” I don't let the question linger in my mind for too long and blurt out the question, feeling not particularly thoughtful.

“It's Khun Arm and Jin's.” The waiter answered instantly. I turned my head to look at them, feeling almost irritated.

“What is it?”

“Um... it's Khun Arm's.” The waiter, who seemed to realize, quickly replied, with a trace of fear. Arm will eat well and someone prepared to serve him. I understand that it reaches the point where even the head bodyguard who is also the head of special training is involved. But what about this other plate? Seriously!!!

“And this!” I pointed to another plate and made a loud noise.

“T-this is Jin's. Khun Arm bought it and asked to warm it up together, sir. So I gathered them all at once.” As soon as he finished speaking, the waiter was about to leave, so I had to grab his shirt with my hand.

“Wait!!! And what will the others eat?” I asked as I stood up from the chair.

“Khun Pete has eaten, others have ordinary boxed rice.” The bodyguard made a face as if he was about to cry, and endured.

“Why doesn't Jin eat ordinary boxed rice?” I asked, curious because even Jin himself didn't have the privilege of being a bodyguard who received praise from the main family, and had just joined recently. What special rights does he have!

“I don't know, they eat like this every day.” With a timid and fearful tone, he spoke. After finishing that sentence, my head was even hotter than the sun that was blazing above. Who do they think they are, 'eating like this every day!'.

Really?

I closed my eyes in silence, although the turmoil inside me was about to explode, boiling to the point of being able to raise some ridiculous tentacle to vent my anger at someone, but...

“What's up, Vee? Khun Tay, I brought water.” The other guy came to me and handed me a glass of water along with a straw. I took a deep breath and accepted the water before raising my eyes to it, as if I was about to devour it.

“Um... I'm going to prepare stuff first.” I gazed at it as if I was going to drink its blood and eat its flesh. Honestly, at this point, I almost wanted to let it know and let it survive, but... there are more than this, too. Another thing, if I engage in physical combat with him. I can't win for sure, but if the verbal route…. absolutely not.

With that in mind, I followed it out to where Jin was preparing a blue water-filled barrel.

“What are you training for?” I asked, glaring at Jin without diverting my gaze.

“Endurance.”

“With ice water?”

“Yes, immersing ourselves in ice water.”

“Why? Are Kinn and Porsche opening a new branch at the northern edge of the world? Or a Penguin Company?” Although it may be a sentence that sounds absurd, I still speak with a calm face.

“Um...” I walked towards Jin until he had to try to escape.

“Why are you a bodyguard?” I sat on the edge of the tank and used my feet to push against the floor to stabilize myself amidst all of its movements, “Really, with a good look like this, you can be a rich man’s sugar baby, or have someone take care of you comfortably, or already receiving special job enhancements, because you don't like to eat vegetables, right? Like eating meat...mmm...which animals eat meat...especially chickens, but look carefully whether the meat has an owner or not before going after it indiscriminately, be careful not to be drugged and die unknowingly!” My words made Jin weak, causing him to drop the water bottle and spill water all over the floor.

“I...I think Khun Tay must have misunderstood something, sir.” He spoke hesitantly.

“Is that so...maybe I've been thinking too much on my own, but at least consider the fact that I'm warning you so that you won't have any evil intentions that you might forget whose property is whose...don't let me know you did anything untowards.” I stood up from the tank where I was sitting and walked over to confront Jin before speaking out angrily, “If you do something that upsets me at any time...y...you...damn it...” And just as I was reaching out to grab Jin's arms to hold onto, the moment when I stepped towards him as he tried to escape occurred. I slipped on the ice cube that had fallen to the floor, causing my body to fall forward into the tank and splash water without having time to react.

Splash...splash...

Everything happened very quickly, especially at this moment when I felt that the tank I was pinned inside was rolling back and forth until I felt dizzy and the water inside the tank gradually decreased. At this point, I had no feelings except for a heavy panic.

“Khun Tay!!!!!!!”

“Tay!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't breathe properly from accidentally inhaling water and my chest was hurting so much that in the end, the container covering my head was lifted off, revealing that I was rolling down a long distance, almost reaching the edge of the pond.

“Tay! What happened.” The first person I saw was Arm, my boyfriend, who looked shocked and immediately surrounded me with bodyguards.

“[Cough-cough].” I coughed out to get as much water out of my lungs as possible.

“Towel!!!!” Pete quickly sent a towel to Arm, who hurriedly wrapped me in it to remove the mud and dirt. I was shaking like a chicken. And I was soaking wet, feeling a burning sensation in my nose and throat from the cold water that had hit my head, making me dizzy and giving me a headache almost to the point of nausea.

“What are you even doing here?” Arm, surveying my body and finding nothing serious, just in time another towel was sent to Arm, but not from Pete, but from… Jin.

“Are you kidding me!” The moment I saw his face. I lunged and threw the towel he was sending to him.

“No...I'm not.”

“What do you mean? If it wasn't for Jin holding the water container you would have drowned in the pond.” Arm looked at me and Jin alternately with a puzzled look.

“Oops!!! He's done everything right.” I, starting to recover, was angry with these two. What's going on deep inside was getting deeper. I then yanked Arm's hand away from hugging me, grabbed the towel wrapped around me, and threw it at Arm’s face, “Do you want to eat or take out anywhere, just invite him wherever you want! You go to work early in the morning and come home late just to come eat with him, right? These days you spend time eating with him, you don't have any time for me. You are not free for me  when needed!! The reason you won't have sex with me, it's because of this bastard, right?” I spoke without thinking, without even a slight hint of hesitation even if someone was glaring at me. I was getting angry, and I was about to bring up personal matters in front of everyone...”.

“Tay!!!!!!” Arm raised his voice at me in a way he had never done before, so much that my sanity slipped and I was stunned, tears welling up instantly, “Just go back! If you're going to keep using emotions, there's no need to talk at all!” With that, Arm's tears flowed out. I couldn't hold it back as I looked into Arm's eyes filled with pity, and the abrupt pounding made my heart waver like never before.

“What the hell are you doing!!! Just go!!! Who told you to stop! Parachuting!!!! Start now!” It was Pete calling for everyone to leave, and now only Arm and I were left at the scene.

“....”

“Sob...sob.” And with Arm's indifferent expression and slightly angry eyes, I flinched away until my body was ready to embrace itself, kneeling down with fear weighing heavily in my mind.

“...” The sound of Arm's exhaled breath filled the air before he covered my head with a towel and helped me up, “Go back, take a shower, change your shirt.” Arm lowered his voice, but it still lingered. At that moment, I had no choice but to follow his force and get on the golf cart he was driving, while I cried out all the way.

“Tay...”

“Sob...sob.” I was still shaken. I turned my face away from the car without looking at Arm even slightly, but when he called me, my heart softened because it was a gentle call as if I were about to receive forgiveness or an apology from my loved one...but.

“Or maybe, we're just too different.”

I guessed wrong about everything. The words I had hoped to hear turned out to be a sentence that sounded like a farewell...

Or this time did I  take it too far until Arm can no longer bear it.

Will Arm really break up with me? No, it must not be like this.

 

Special (Arm-Tay) Chapter 2:

“You are the most beautiful flower in the world.”

-Tay-.

I know I don't behave well, but I don't know how to change. I act annoyingly and create problems, causing Arm, who should be training hard at the gym, to sit in his room in silence.

“Or maybe we are just too different.”

That sentence keeps spinning in my head as I can't stop shedding tears. Arm takes me to the bathroom before turning on the faucet and washing off the dirt and mud on my arms and legs.

“You...” I look at Arm who is crouched washing my feet with a shaky voice, “Are you really mad at me?”

I place my hand on Arm's thigh as he refuses to look up at me, even slightly.

“...”

“The things you said earlier, do you want to break up?” My statement makes Arm lift his head to look at me, taking a deep breath before slowly turning his face away without a clear answer.

“You mean...” Before I could finish speaking, Arm stands up from washing my feet, hangs the towel for drying off, then turns around and walks out of the bathroom.

“Tay, finish your shower and I'll prepare Tay's clothes for you.” Arm closes the bathroom door with the most indifferent expression I have ever seen, and he doesn't even hear the last sentence I speak.

“Arm...I'm sorry.”

I stand underwater, feeling guilty, with thoughts swirling in my head as the water flows out of the bamboo tube. It's difficult to stop. If Arm were to really leave me, I don't think I could bear it. No matter what, I will do everything to keep him here...no matter how cold he may be towards me.

“The t-shirt and sweatpants, Tay, you should...”

Arm looks at me with astonishment, as my body is now exposed naked, not even covered with the fluffy towel that Arm thoughtfully provided for me to dry off. But I gather my courage and grit my teeth. It's only right that now, I cleanse my body with a simple, unscented soap, not creating a romantic atmosphere. Furthermore, outside the room, the sun shines through the dark curtains, brightening everything. We look at each other with awkward gestures. I myself am very brave to do this. Although it's not the first time for me, my heart beats wildly, almost bursting out of the left side of my chest.

“Arm…” I walk slowly towards him, who is still frozen in that position. I notice his hands. He clenches the t-shirt tightly before sweat starts to trickle down his face. Even though the air conditioning in Arm's room is turned down very low, “Please don't leave me?” I walk up to him, grabbing his hand gently and placing it on my chest, “...I'm sorry.” I say softly, grabbing Arm's other hand and placing it on my waist until he straightens up to face me.

“Tay...” Arm says with a trembling voice before I touch his left chest in the same way, feeling his heart beating erratically, as if it's about to explode.

“I just want to belong to you, physically and mentally, and the sentence you just said makes me feel scared.” I lean in towards his ear and whisper the words that encapsulate all of my conflicted emotions.

And at that moment, my desires surged in every direction, as I smelled the scent of Arm mixed with the unique perfume that I had made for him, causing me to press my nose into the hollow of his neck and inhale deeply with overwhelming infatuation. The intoxicating blend of scents made me unable to resist any longer, “Don't leave…me unfilled…” I whispered with trembling lips before nibbling at his earlobe to provoke a shiver of desire in the man in front of me. And Arm gradually closed his eyes, biting his own lips before I slowly removed his shirt, with him cooperating eagerly. His hands, which had been placed on my body, now roamed freely, exploring every inch of my skin, as I slid my tongue along the curve of his neck, teasing the firm nipple and moving down to his chest, using my tongue to play with the left nipple until I could trace every detail vividly.

“Oh... Tay.” Arm whispered as he closed his eyes. He used both hands to squeeze my buttocks like a sculptor shaping clay, in a rhythm that no one could not match. I quickly pulled down his tight-fitting sports shorts, revealing his black boxer briefs that were starting to tent upwards. Without hesitation, I pulled down his underwear to uncover the answer I had been yearning for so long, my heart pounding slightly with anticipation.

My heart fluttered slightly when Arm's manhood proved to be larger than most Thai men. The size might be excessive but why should he be embarrassed his love stick is borne with such significant proportions?

“I won't let you go.” I couldn't stop my longing as I swiftly moved my face towards the center of his body, before using my hands to massage his appendage up and down slowly, causing Arm to take a few steps back to hold onto the headboard to support his body. After being dominated heavily, I sat on the floor before wrapping my arms around Arm's masculinity without hesitation, sucking on it as if it were the ice cream I had long awaited. The taste was just right in my mouth. I tilted my head back with satisfaction, savoring the sweetness and deliciousness that I had been waiting for so long until every drop was swallowed.

“Ah... shit... Tay... god. Can't handle it.” Arm pinched my shoulder, along with a groan that echoed throughout the room once I realized. I sucked on the tip of the hot rod harder than before, using my tongue to lick along the blood vessels of that hot stick from the tip to the base, until I felt reluctant to leave this part of him and I scraped the tender parts that were stiff and pushed my head forward until it reached the depths of the throat, almost choking.

“Ah... Tay... Tay.” Arm, now sending out cries, seemed like he was about to reach his climax with my arousal and my exuberance. He then lifted my shoulders and pulled me out of his fully expanded part, and looked at me with a passionate gaze.

“I would never think of leaving you, Tay...” ending the sentence with a glance. Arm threw me onto his bed gently and quickly pulled off his pants that were halfway between his legs.

“And when I said that... we are too different.” Arm wrapped me up, ending his sentence with no reply as he passionately kissed me with a hot kiss on the edge of my lips. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I accepted it willingly, tilting my head to reciprocate with joy, allowing him to taste and play with my tongue until saliva spread all around the edge of my lips.

“What are we going to do to get along...” Arm said as he came out of my mouth, then lowered his face to passionately kiss my chest, using one hand to embrace my body and gently slide up and down skillfully.

“Really... you won't leave me, right? Ahh...” I spoke while moaning with pleasure that was influenced by my current feelings.

“Tay, you will have to reform... don't do that again today.” Even though Arm scolded me, I savored every touch he gave me, especially now... as he explored my body with his fingertips.

“I... regrets... and... why... all the time.” I raised my head slightly to look at Arm, but endured the overwhelming roughness of his actions, trying to keep a stoic expression to release the tension.

“I didn't rush about this...didn't think you would care much...I value your feelings more than your body that we must hurry to possess.” After Arm finished speaking, he grabbed my legs, pushed them up, spread them wider than before, before...before...doing something I've never experienced before...because my old partner took a long time before he would use his mouth to pleasure my private parts. I begged him many times, but to finally achieve satisfaction took a long time, however, this was the first time Arm's mouth took over his hands without any request or demand from me. He grasped my firm shaft and rubbed it up and down for me, with an attitude of contentment without any hint of disgust, even the slightest one.

“I want to be yours, both body and soul...oh...so eager...are you scared...but you are amazing...ohhh... do you know?” I tried to communicate and express my words almost incoherently before he pulled his mouth out along with using his hands to caress my shaft instead, not only that, he used his fingertips to play around my shaft head, twisting and turning it to the point where I couldn't resist any further.

“You must be thinking a lot on your own. I just want to do the best in our first time, and I don't want you to be disappointed.”

“Uh...Arm.”

As soon as Arm finished speaking, I lowered my head to look down again with widened eyes. Arm grabbed my ankle firmly, widened it even more, and used his tongue to lick both round balls on both sides with delicacy and gentleness, preventing me from feeling discomfort or pain, until he slowly slid down and stopped at the back entrance before using his tongue to touch it immediately. My heart throbbed quickly along with heavy breathing due to the excitement and the overwhelmingly good feeling that couldn't be described.

“Arm… even though you are not my first...uhhh...ahhh... but I have never felt this good before, you know...ummm...oh.” Arm circled his tongue around my hole entrance first before using his index finger to open the way and then inserting his tongue to rub the insides of my body. He did everything that made me feel surprised and excited to the point where I almost couldn't breathe at all, just let me die...this feels so incredibly good, he inserted his second finger and circled it into a circle, while his lips and tongue still remained in that area.

“You...I...can't...I can't handle it anymore, ahh...hurry, I need you in me… quickly...ohhh.” I gasped loudly as my mind started to blank out completely. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold back. The clear fluid from the tip of my shaft flowed continuously without stopping. Arm withdrew his face and fingers before holding my body in place with both arms, then inserting himself between my legs before he lifted himself onto the bed and raised my hips with both arms, making my body float off the bed. He positioned his shaft axis straight with my hole then leaned down to cover my neck with kisses. At this moment, I could feel that his desire was no different from mine.

“Don't worry, this is your first time, and I trust you.”

I understood the meaning of Arm that we had no defenses, and we had to trust each other.

Once Arm finished speaking, he pushed the head of his shaft axis closer, as I grabbed the bedsheet tightly.

“Ugh...uh...”

“Ahh...does it hurt...it's so tight...”

“Uh...I can handle it, come in, can you come in now...” I spoke softly, looking at him with tears in my eyes before he raised his face slightly and touched my lips again, along with the warm tongue that explored my mouth, allowing me to relax, then he pushed his hips until the hardness entered me with a tight sensation in my belly, causing me to close my eyes involuntarily.

“Ugh...hmm...Arm...ahhh.” I used both hands to hold him tightly, accidentally scratching his back to release the pain that had rushed in for a moment, before Arm slowly began moving his lower body in and out, the roughness disappearing replaced by a continuous and firm pressure.

He moved in and out faster and faster until sweat dripped down both of our bodies. The hot breath from Arm's shaft, it's both disgusting and occasionally painful, but I know it almost drives me insane. He continues to touch me with such fervor, and then kisses all over my face. Arm then removes one hand from gripping my hips and uses that hand to cup my shaft head, pushing it down in rhythm with his actions that he is performing right now.

“Arm... Oh... I... I can't take it anymore... It's too intense.” Arm's fingers continue to play on the sensitive head of my shaft, bringing pleasure and excitement to me, while at the same time the action at my hole continues with such enthusiasm. The force of Arm’s thrusts is overpowering, causing my body to respond and move along with the impacts that sometimes he forgets himself and enters with a heavy force, without pausing.

“Oh... It's overwhelming... Oh... Tay... Inside…you…it feels so good, I can't last.” I smile, with a sense of satisfaction that this nerdy guy really dares to say that sentence with such passion, as if he has transformed into a hot dude. Even though he is wearing glasses, the frustration and excitement, raging like a wild animal, reveal that he is no different from me except that Arm is a predator who is so hungry that he devours his prey like me without mercy, allowing me to die... As I look at him with eyes fixed in front, moving my lower body with a frequent rhythm, he slowly stretches out, pushing my body against him, his body sinking deeper into the path I made, then speaks words that almost touch the edge of my dreams.

“Inside you... it feels so good. Squeezing tightly. Oh... It's intense... Damn it.”

I try to suppress my emotions, but I want to say that the more he does this, I know that eventually...

“Ah...” I had to release the cloudy white liquid that smeared on Arm's hand and my abdomen. I lie down and gasp for breath, trying to get as much oxygen into my lungs as possible. At that moment, Arm thrusts faster and faster until the final bend. I gaze at that face with admiration, Arm closes his eyes and shudders a few times before feeling warmth below my belly.

“Wow...shit...” Arm wiped his own sweat before moving again for another two or three rounds, then slowly pulled his shaft away with a slightly hesitant motion. I reached out my arms preparing to hug him as Arm was breathing heavily. He then bent down on his own...not to receive any hug from me, but...

“Ha...ha...ha...” Arm grabbed my shoulders and flipped me over, face down, as I struggled to stand still, “Wait…wait…wait...” There was no room for me to ask anything as he lifted my hips, using his hand to push my stomach firmly against the bed.

Suddenly!

He slips inside my body, still stiff, poking its way into my insides again. Without a word, the sounds of moaning verberated with a resounding echo throughout the room, accompanied by a lower body thrusts that now lacks a slow rhythm, or a gentle movement at all. It creeps in a way that my own body, both painful and tingling, intertwines completely.

“This position is deeper than before...oh...my love...why is your body delicious like this?”

“Oh...shit...Arm...so good...”

Although my lust was getting revved up just like him, I began to wonder, is this really Arm’s first time? Why, his thrust is gentle touch but the strike on the insides pressure points caused my body to shake all over. This man is a liar, he is boning me so good at this level but he was still playing around acting like a nerd for so long, you stubborn little...!!!

“...The sheets are soaked, completely wet.” I said after finishing another round, my shaft leaking dripping onto the bed, “Fuck…even my balls are drained out.”

“Fuck being drained!..it's...you're the one who was squeezing me tightly, I cant stop…!”

“Wait, Arm… wait!!!” Once we both finished the second round, I knew how gooey the blobs of love water was. This love affair, how much longer could it go on? Arm refused to pull out this time and laid me on my side, it was easy to go full in like this. There was no point in my prostration or even being lowered even a little bit. Arm held onto one of my legs pointing upwards to the ceiling and...moved with such force that did not decrease even a little bit, it almost drove me crazy because right now my brain is filled with dopamine, nearly reaching ecstasy...

Damn nerd!!!! Damn it all!!!! If he lets me go today, I might have to go to the clinic to get my hold tightened. You owe me some money, you damn nerd!!!! Damn it all!!!!! My legs are shaking so much that I can't even think straight anymore, will I be able to walk after this?

Damn it all!!!! Arm is so damn heartless!

After completing the task, I was exhausted to the point of almost passing out, I had no strength to get up and clean myself in the shower, but Arm took care of me, cradling me in a weakened state, laying me in the bathtub ready to clean me thoroughly in a way that I couldn't believe...he cleansed every part, especially the lower part, using his fingers to clean without any hesitation, even though it was a little, but I felt so embarrassed that I almost went crazy and shivered uncontrollably, feeling both embarrassed and ashamed, so vulnerable and lost with the person I loved so deeply.

Throughout my life, I never thought that sex with full out of love would feel like being thrown into this kind of vortex...

“I'm sorry.” I said to him after Arm put clothes on me and brought me to bed with blankets ready for me.

“He's sorry too...” Arm poured water into a glass and handed it to me to drink.

“Sorry for what?” I asked him with curiosity.

“For making you worry so much that you're stressed out. I admit that I was scared, really scared. I love you so much...it left me terrified.” Arm spoke with a remorseful look in his eyes, then tucked my wet hair, which was covering my face at the moment.

“You're scared...of not being able to compete against my past?” I already knew the answer, but asked for honesty's sake.

"Ooh...oooh...Do you know that I read a lot of books, surf the internet, and ask people around like Pete and Phii Top because I'm afraid that you...will dump me."

“Is it because of sex?” I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Um... I know how much you've tried all this time, but I... didn’t know how to respond.” Arm said with confusion, causing me to place the glass of water on the table next to the bed.

“Listen to you! I think you know what kind of person I am, but you don't. My world may seem like I have gone through a lot, and I may push you too hard, but don't forget that I only had one boyfriend!” I said firmly, causing Arm to blush slightly as I mentioned my old lover. I reached out to hold his face, pulling him in for another kiss, “But would you believe I swear? That last night was the best sex of my life.” I said with a smirk, causing Arm to pout and hold back his embarrassment.

“Sorry Tay, but you have become the biggest thing in my life no matter what, but when you asked me if I would leave you. I never will. Even if you refuse me in exchange for him, I will never leave you.” Arm said as he rubbed my head, “We may just have to compromise a lot... today, I admitted that it was the first time I was angry at you... but even if you stop loving me, I won't leave you.” Arm pulled me in for a tight hug.

“I am sorry... I want to possess you both physically and emotionally. Do you understand?” I asked Arm, looking at him with half-closed eyes.

“No... it's the stability of a couple's life. I forgot that sex is an important part that either makes many couples break up or love each other more. We should talk directly. I was wrong not to tell you how scared I was scared... I just wanted some time to study more than this.” Arm said with a smile.

“Oh... which textbook are you studying from? Is this your first time?” I teased.

“Yes.” Arm replied firmly.

“And what about your friend whom Ta said you used to date?” I squinted at him, trying to figure out the truth.

“Well... it was more like an outside connection. It wasn't serious.” I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, but deep down I felt a sense of relief as if all the happiness in the world had come together at this moment. I don't know why I felt so good to almost be on the verge of being insane.

"And..." I took a deep breath before asking another question that weighed on my mind, "What about Jin?" I pulled away slightly from Arm and observed his reaction, causing Arm to exhale loudly.

"Can I ask you something? Can you apologize to Jin? He didn't do anything wrong at all." Mr-Arm looked at me earnestly, causing me to avert my gaze.

 "And the fact that he has privileges over others... like serving you food and pouring water for you." I spoke with a hint of frustration, as it weighed on my heart as well. Arm then turned to me and sat, ready to explain as I listened attentively.

“First of all, Jin among his duties there is that. And he does it for Pete too. He is the leader, so it's his responsibility to bring water for us. It's also his duty to help us during special training. As for the lunch that he bought for me... oh well.” Arm seemed hesitant to speak, but he managed to express his thoughts, “I once asked him to help him with Time, that clip at the liquor store, to lure Tem out, and he almost went to sacrifice himself at that time. So I promised to pay for his meal him for three months as an apology, and consider it as a form of gratitude.”

I looked at Arm with astonishment before recalling the clip that was circulating the internet that Jin was actually the one doing all that... which meant that he had helped me in the past.

“Why didn't you tell me this from the beginning then?” And with that, I grabbed a pillow and hit Arm hard.

“I told you there's nothing wrong with him... honestly, Jin is really pitiful, every day he gets sidelined by Porsche. He looks so pitiful, but Porsche won't let him get close to Khun Kinn at all.”

“Well, he does look good... he really does.” I thought to myself, feeling a bit guilty.

“Just look at the bodyguards of Porsche, each one looks like they're in a yakuza gang.” Arm said casually.

“Well... I'll apologize to him later. I was just a bit fragile, and at that time I was jealous, and I also wanted to possess you very much.” I bowed my head and told Arm again.

“I love you... love only you alone. I know that you showing your feelings towards me shows me how much you love me, but as my father said, we shouldn't interfere too much in the Main Family’s business, like today when you went berserk at the training compound, I just don't want things to get complicated.” Arm hugged me tightly.

“I'm sorry... I'll try to change, reduce my aggression, reduce my selfishness, reduce my emotional instability.”

“It's a bit hard work, Young Master Tay.”

“I just want to be the most important person to you, that's all.”

“With just this I am willing to die for you.” Arm finished speaking as if he was going to be quiet for a while before patting my head without saying anything further.

Hmm... Arm really loves me, I know that now.

 

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