[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 9: Kadupul Flower [NC 20+].
Is there something wrong with my subconscious gland? Why do I feel so overwhelmed with self-disgust?
I look at the face of the man who sleeps with a smile and embraces me all night long, with a sense of guilt.
If last night I forbade my heart to feel more than this. If I... recall the Third Buddhism Precept, and contemplate it deeply. Both the words and the feelings that surpassed righteousness, made me want to cleanse all the reasons I had and forget that we cannot hold onto this moment and...
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow it's going to come fast. Even though in my head, I keep thinking about last night's image, it only makes me realize more. Even though I love the nighttime so much, in the end, our world has to have daytime too.
I like the nighttime because we can dream of what we want to be, or dream of things we imagine as if the nighttime is the picture we want it to be and the daytime is the reality we have to face.
“Now. At this moment, can we just focus on us? Don't think about others. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't think about the future. Right now, it's just me and you, Tem. Can we.”
And then, at that time, I truly forgot, forgot who I am, forgot who Phii Time is, forgot what I am doing, forgot what's wrong, and then I forgot completely, that I can't stop this time forever.
-Rewind-
I relaxed everything easily and savored the sweet taste of a kiss in my mind. Phii Time is a great kisser, why does it make my heart beat so fast, my brain feels empty as if in a high place, it's both empty and buzzing at the same time. Right now, I can feel the strong suction around the edge of my lips with delicacy, making it easy for me to expose my lips to the warm tongue.
Phii Time is skilled at tasting flavors inside my mouth, from softness transformed into increasing pleasure. Until, I accidentally shifted my body and touched that sensation more, and started to lose control of my own body because my hands started sweeping across Phii Time’s back, and the touch of firm muscle and smooth skin attached to the palm of my hand made me lose myself even more.
“Mmm...” I let out a low sound unintentionally. Phii Time then emerged from a kiss that was tempting, mesmerizing, and met my gaze under the flickering light that passed through the room, even though darkness enveloped, silence held everything, but our eyes synchronized, for a moment. Before Phii Time slowly brushed my hair off my forehead, and then I called Phii Time's name. Shaky voice, meanwhile, various feelings surged, diverse, I had something, slipping in, that was, fear.
“Phii Time...”
“What's up?” Phii Time leaned down and kissed my forehead one more time, then looked into my eyes again.
“Umm?”
“I...” I lowered my gaze with hesitation, feeling it all crashing together. Until I felt suffocated, feeling bad.
“I really like you, Tem. I've liked you since the first day we met.”
And after those words, the clothes on my body were taken off, the positive and negative ends with Phii Time pulled towards each other as if nothing could stop this anymore.
The corners of our mouths meet, and our tongues intertwine passionately as if there is a fire igniting us, a fire that burns away all sense of responsibility and guilt, leaving only the desire that transcends any preconceived notion, the desire that travels beyond imagination.
“Mmm...” I let out a whimper, accompanied by a brush against my body as the tip of my tongue slides out from the corner of my mouth, gliding down my throat, causing a momentary pause with a tingling sensation spreading throughout my body. Phii Time gradually moves his face down to my chest, and his mouth covers it, sucking gently, arousing it with an overwhelming intensity that makes my hair stand on end.
Phii Time is like a fire that has burned all the sweat out of me. I don't feel anything anymore. Because I was burned by the flames of temptation, all that's left of me is desire and longing. The appearance of this man is beyond all expectations.
Phii Time slipped in between my legs before lifting one of my hips and using his hand to fondle the back of my head. Why does it feel so good, even though I'm gasping for breath like I'm about to suffocate? And my heart is pounding so hard that it's about to explode.
“Phii Time...” I called his name as his face loomed up. I felt possessed by a pale-white brain. It feels like I'm in a dream, and I'm falling asleep with intense bliss and overwhelming surrender.
“I like it when you call me ‘Phii’.” Phii Time released himself from the tip of my nipple which has now hardened into a solid state, then slid his face to my neck and started biting gently until I had to tilt my face to receive that touch.
“Oh my...” And not only that, my desire throbs and swirls vigorously when our lower bodies touch and rub against each other. When did Phii Time take off his pants... But, all I know is that our parts have grown larger as minutes passed by.
“I like you, Tem, do you...” And so, Phii Time stretched himself upright, gripping my hand to lift me off the bed and bringing my hand to touch his solid part, dictating the pace, gradually slowing down.
...I lowered my gaze, bit my lip tightly with a little embarrassment, and when I spooned my gaze onto Phii Time, it made my face grow hot and elongated. When he looked up with satisfaction, I didn't even realize I had already taken control of our bodies, without having to let Phii Time lead the way.
“Don't look at me like that...” Phii Time glanced at me with hidden eyes, smiling, then gently wiped away the tear with his index finger that was forming at the corner of my eye.
“I feel the same way, khrap.”
The lower part of me is almost reaching the threshold, and the more I see someone who fits my type in front of me, I can hardly hold back anymore.
“Can you help me, please?” Time smiled and pushed me down onto the bed once again. Before slipping between my legs, he lifted my hips, causing them to hover slightly above the soft mattress.
“I have condoms, but I don't have lube. Are you okay with that?” I hurriedly shook my head in response. Because his hands were trembling, lingering at the base of my hair, I could barely tolerate it any longer.
Seeing that, Phii Time used his own saliva as a substitute for lubricant. He trailed his fingers along my back entrance, preparing it for the impending pain that awaited. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the intense sensation that would not only alleviate the tightness but also bring a pleasurable release.
“Please go easy…” I didn't mean to downplay the inherent pain of being penetrated from behind. This wasn't my first time, but I couldn't help feeling a slight unease, as it had been quite some time since I had been intimate with anyone other than Earth…
Clutching the bedsheet tightly, I closed my eyes as I felt Phii Time's cock inching closer to my love hole. Sensations of anticipation and anxiety rippled throughout my entire body. The pain was real, but it responded to my desires more than anything else. As Phii Time began to move in and out, I was on the verge of losing control. I let out a moan while my upper body arched upward, meeting the lips of the person above me, uncontrollably consumed by passion.
“Ah…”
My limbs intertwining, my body and soul merged as if I had been longing for this sensation for an eternity. Phii Time's hip thrusts became faster and stronger, synchronizing with the rhythm of my trembling heart during those moonlit nights filled with joy, like... And how will I wake up tomorrow to embrace the bright light of reality?
“I love you, Tem.” Phii Time kissed me tenderly while repeating the same words over and over again. It made me feel good, extremely excited, so good that I've never felt this way before. Even though I occasionally felt a twinge of pain, the fact that Phii Time knew the perfect timing of his thrusts, hitting just the right spot, brought me on the brink of ecstasy. Even now, at the end of my cock’s head was soaking wet with the translucent fluid that relentlessly spilled out, I was almost touching the edge of heaven. Despite the liquid now permeating the lower extremities of my body.
The size still hasn't done anything to my part, it still makes me feel very uncomfortable, bro. Time knows all the techniques very well, both the posture and the manner of his movements are highly suggestive. He tends to accelerate, quick pace, fast. Sometimes alternating with gentle and subtle movements, slipping into the back channel of my hair, making my hair stand on end without stopping.
“Oh... Ohhh. Phii Time…”
“Shh... Wait, someone might hear.” Phii Time puts his index finger to my lips and chuckles, causing me to pucker my own lips and glance at him suspiciously, as I know he intends to tease and playfully disturb my composure, but I didn't get to feel much. Because Phii Time's other hand reached out to grasp my weeping cock, causing me to tremble. Phii Time moves his hand up and down aggressively, thrusting it into my ass fiercely until I had to cover my face with a pillow, keeping my mouth closed to prevent any sound from escaping, and I blush at the tumultuous thing that is about to spill out. When everything accelerates like this, I can no longer contain myself.
“Hmm... Ohhhhh.”
I jerked and tense up as my cock’s milky fluid seeped from Phii Time's hand. My embarrassment is beyond imaginable... My lips curl up slightly even though I'm breathing rapidly now, and sweat drips all over my body, but my mind feels relieved and my body feels comfortable.
Although I feel floating in ecstasy, my body still follows the rhythm of Phii Time’s cock entering me. I glance at the enchanting posture and gesture of his graceful body. Because now my heart also jerks and leaps again. Phii Time raises his face and is moving his body in an intimate manner that fills me with desire. Damn it... I just cummed not long ago, I am hard again.
I keep the pillow on my face to control my consciousness from being shaken more than this. Before I can feel the tension from my asshole subsiding and the body movements of Phii Time that jerked and strained calming down, he continues to move in and out gently without withdrawing his pulsating cock. Until I had to remove the pillow from my face and look at his actions, then I spoke up.
“Phii, you haven't cummed?” I ask with a hint of wariness, intentionally avert my gaze elsewhere and not directly at him.
“Who's said cumming means the end?” Phii Time speaks wryly, raising an eyebrow playfully. Before leaning towards me, grabbing me and pushing me down gently, and lifting my hip quickly, and that instantly makes me realize that a new round has started.
And it's happening so fast...
Yes, everything is happening quickly. Both the connection and my feelings. I'm captivated to the point where I can't take my eyes off this man for even a second.
-Present time-
“Are you hungry?” I jerk myself up, scanning around for something else and gently freeing myself from the arms of the man who held me softly.
“...”
“I'll take a shower and then let's eat together, alright?” Even now I would change my position from lying on my side to lying on my back. Phii Time still used his limbs and head to gaze at me closely.
“What time is it?” I get up from the bed, looking for my phone and reluctantly opening my eyes, not wanting to believe it.
“It's already five in the evening!! Those darn Tey!” I exclaim in frustration.
“What time is it now?” I get up from the bed, looking for my phone and reluctantly opening my eyes, not wanting to believe it.
“It's already five in the evening!! Those darn fuckers!” I exclaim in frustration.
“Tey and his friend left in the afternoon.” I turn my face and look at Phii Time with confusion.
“Tey, he came and knocked on the door. I told them that you are asleep and want to still hang out here, so they can go back.” I keep a puzzled face, but now I know, feeling incapable of looking straight at Phii Time.
Even though last night we were so close physically. Even though last night, no matter how good it felt, we merged into one, but in the end, the truth that stands out in the midst of chaos is... it was just a dream.
Because...
I did something foolish, made mistakes, and lacked morality to the point where forgiveness seems unlikely, including Phii Tay, not to mention myself. I can't even believe I could do that.
And as I sink into my own thoughts, right in front of the curtain that keeps out the outside light, I stare at it silently.
Phii Time walks over and pulls it open, causing the bright light to flash into my eyes. Before I can adjust.
“Do you have a headache? What's wrong?” Phii Time reaches me quickly, holding my face with his hands, checking on me, and at that moment, I just stand still, unable to even blink.
“Are you thinking too much?” I glanced at Phii Time and took a deep breath.
“Hey, let's go eat dinner.” And then Phii Time leaned down, kissed my forehead, and held me tightly. I don't know why, but warmth emanated from Phii Time's body, alleviating my words, the ones that were clear in my mind for a long time... protection.
It's like I've gained some kind of energy, something that feels so good. I've become tender again and I enjoy everything. The appearance, the gestures, the unique fragrance. Even the warmth from the body. It's why this space feels so comfortable.
“From now on... will we still... be... the same?” I asked anxiously, as the mixed emotions almost drove me crazy. I liked being around Phii Time, but I don't know if we can still be the same after today. I never expected us to have a deep relationship, but after this... can I call Phii Time my senior? Is he still worried about me? I don't know.
Is that what being a junior to a senior is like? Or is it more painful than we assumed by skimming through it?
Which type is better?
“...I guess it won't be the same, Tem.” Phii Time hugged me tighter than before, and I closed my eyes with suppressed emotions. Different, isn't it? Is it better to not know each other... My heart seemed to ache uncontrollably. Oh, what a good time we had together, it felt like a dream come true. On the field. In the dorm. During the rain. Even last night.
“Is it bothering you?” I blinked my eyes, holding back tears, and took a deep breath.
“Tem, you are mine now. From now on, I will take care of you myself.” Phii Time gently kissed the top of my head, leaving me even more bewildered and confused than before.
“I've liked you Tem since the beginning... You know, right?” Phii Time and I locked eyes again.
“While I was with you, I felt at ease…”
What could it mean? Phii Time moved his hand to comb through his hair, adjusting his glasses, seemingly lost in thought. I wasn't sure if it was because he saw my teary eyes or not... But what I received in return was tenderness. Both in his gestures and his gaze.
“Tem, don't belong to anyone else... Belong to me, just me, alright?” I bit my lip tightly. Even though the depth of my heart could be vast, even though it might feel good, however much it may be, the words became clearer in my mind.
“And Tay...” Before I could finish speaking, Phii Time interrupted immediately.
“Give me some time... I will handle everything correctly.”
“But, I…”
“Trust me, the ending between us and him can't continue, but give me a little time, Tem. If I were to criticize myself...”
“Trust me, the ending between us and him can't continue, but give me a little time, Tem. If I were to criticize myself, it's my own fault.”
Phii Time pulled me in for another hug, the fact that he came here was because of the problem with that person, the person Phii Time complained about. Last night, it was all about that person, and for just a moment, I could see in Phii Time's eyes how sincere he was.
“But I don't want to do anything wrong anymore.” I let out a sigh, unable to control myself any longer.
“The one at fault is me... Tem, it's not your fault at all. I will take responsibility for you, don't blame yourself.”
“But, both of you... have been good to me.”
Phii Time gently caressed my head, “It's separate, love is love. When we have good feelings for each other... can't we avoid this kind of situation? Tem... listen to me, I will take care of you myself... But can you make a promise to me?” Phii Time, with a trembling voice, let his thoughts out. I became even more confused than before, pushing myself away from Phii Time's arms and covering my face with my hands, overwhelmed by emotions that had been swirling inside me until it was almost unbearable.
“It's just a temporary mood, you don't really know me yet.” I let out a sobbing voice while speaking, then I went away without feeling any shame. Phii Time took a deep breath and remained silent for a while.
“It's okay. Tem, go take a shower and get dressed, we'll go have a meal.” Phii Time went to search for my bag, picked out some clothes, and handed them to me before taking my hand and leading me to the bathroom, closing the door to give me some space to be alone.
“No worries. Tem, go freshen up, we'll have a meal together later.” Phii Time walked to find his backpack, picked up some clothes, and offered them to me first. Then he took my hand and led me to the bathroom, closing the door to give me some personal space.
I can't express my current feelings at all. It's a mix of sadness, sorrow, and guilt, but at the same time, I feel safe, light-hearted, warm, and content. Until it all becomes confusing, and I don't even dare to look at myself in the mirror. Because I feel too ashamed, I sit in silence, trying to call my mindfulness, attempting to let go of whatever is lingering in my mind until it's gone completely. And I truly don't know what I should do next...
But as I survived, hiding in a secluded place for hours, when I finally opened the door, I saw Phii Time bathing and dressing up, having packed both his and my belongings.
Despite my efforts to call my mindfulness, as soon as I saw Phii Time's face, I felt that self-awareness or self-struggle in my thoughts at this moment meant nothing at all. Because in the end, the turbulence of my heart never ceased.
Phii Time silently drove me away, with only soft music playing in the car, to a seaside restaurant where there weren't many people around. Phii Time sat across from me, wearing a black shirt and sunglasses that matched well, making the waitstaff or the diners at the tables glance in our direction, in a row. Moreover, the sun, dimmed and reflected by the water surface, brightened Phii Time's aura, yes...and it seemed like in my current feelings, all I could see was just Phii Time alone. While the subconscious mind was wrong, fond, wavering, starting to fade and diminish.
“Do you prefer shrimp or squid?” Phii Time asked me, sitting quietly, making me stop frowning, not understanding what he meant, and looked at the menu, answering with a straightforward tone.
“Whatever is fine, I can eat anything.” My response came back calmly.
“No way! Tem haven't spoken to me the whole way. Tem, you need to answer.” Phii Time said forcefully.
“Shrimp or squid.” Phii Time pressed me with his gaze.
“Whatever, then?” I replied.
“Shrimp or squid.”
“Whatever.”
I shifted my gaze to the server kid who was smiling, holding a notepad and pen, with his mouth closed, and then looked at the two of us with embarrassment.
“Phii Time, they're waiting for the order.”
“I'm sorry but my boyfriend has been angry with me since we got in the car. He refuses to talk to me, and I've been waiting for quite a while.” Phii Time, turned around and told the employee who seemed to be a lesbian because she blushed even more than before. I hoped she would turn to insult Phii Time, but she was annoyed and scowled at me. I felt a sinking feeling in my heart as if I had heard those words escaping from her mouth. Die already! Just die! What the hell! Damn it!!
“Squid or shrimp, hurry up... Phii Time, I've been waiting for a long time.” I was in a situation where I couldn't feel embarrassed even if I wanted to. Damn it, it was wrong for him to have a smug face, and then the girl just kept pushing me. I pretended not to hear and ignored her.
“Shrimp.”
“Fried shrimp with tamarind sauce, please.” Phii Time turned around and ordered it, stuffing it into my mouth with dissatisfaction.
“Do you eat vegetables or not?” And then he turned back to play his game, so I reluctantly made a concession because in the end he relied on my answer.
“Yes.”
“Mmm... Fried kale with fish sauce, please.”
“Clear soup or plain soup.”
I sighed loudly.
“Clear soup.”
“Clear seafood soup, please.”
“Yes.”
“Crab or fish.”
“Fish.”
“Steamed snow fish with soy sauce, plain rice, 2 plates, plain water, 1 bottle, ice water, 1 pitcher, watermelon smoothie, 1 glass, please.” Phii Time finished ordering and closed the menu, then looked straight at me.
“I've gotten to know you better... And, I have to say, I know you quite well.” I thought back to what I said before I went to take a shower. I said that he didn't know me well... Damn it! Is this how he flirts? Why is my heart working so hard again?
“I'll say it's not fair, you can eat anything, but you prefer strongly flavored food. As for other things, I can manage. Yes, I like vegetables except for sprouts and long beans, and...tomatoes. In my free time, I enjoy playing games, watching movies, and living a normal, ordinary life. We've gotten to know each other more, you know.”
“...” I stayed silent and turned my attention to the waiter who brought water instead.
“Oh... how about a blended watermelon drink? When I think too much, something sweet might be good.” Phii Time handed me the blended watermelon, which I happened to be craving, and I took a sip, but it didn't help much. Actually, I also like watermelon and I've been blending it. He can tell, right?
“The first time we met at university, I saw you standing there sucking on a straw in a red drink and holding a cup of blended watermelon, and I thought ‘He must like it, right?’ and in your free time, you enjoy reading manga or watching anime“
“How did you know?” I whispered.
“How many times have I visited your room, and you even went and had a conversation about a manga book at the mall? Huh, huh.” Phii Time lifted the water for me to drink.
Do you have to pay that much attention... Why does Phii Time have to work so hard to confuse me like this! You're about to push me into a hole and bury me. Just this much, and my respiratory system stops working, you asshole!!!
“Tem, you are a thoughtful and mischievous person, but you also understand, you see.” Phii Time pointed towards the sea.
“Tem, you don't have to tell me yourself. something we don't understand doesn't have to be understood, right? You can see it as a matter of feelings, right? Looking at the sea helps clear the mind to another level, doesn't it? Letting go of everything, identity, responsibilities, things that have to be done, things that have to be thought... Sometimes, we need some free time, let the future go sometimes. Don't carry anything all the time... because it's heavy, hahaha.”
Phii Time spoke the last sentence, emphasizing the tone and laughing out loud.
“Phii Time!” I pressed the volume low and looked at Phii Time with puzzled eyes, as if the words I taught it last night had touched my heart abruptly, causing me to swallow my own saliva several times.
“And, Tem, do you see me as what kind of a person I am?” Phii Time asked me back.
“Cheater.” I said one word quietly, the water that Phii Time had just gulped down nearly sprayed in my face, it seemed like the atmosphere between me and Phii Time was starting to ease the tension bit by bit.
“I'll stop being a cheater. And I'll only be yours.” Phii Time reached out to ruffle my hair. Until I had to turn my head away in annoyance.
“Typical words of a cheater.”
“My words are as stubborn to you as well.” Phii Time said with a smile, and then the waiter brought out all the food to serve on Tem's table.
“Good boys should eat a lot, okay?” Phii Time scooped this and that for me nonstop while complaining that I was stubborn. No, I'm not his good boy or anything, but why did I have to turn and smile at the ocean, geez!! Get a grip Tem!! Grip!!!
“You should eat a lot too. I thought you'd be the type to overthink and not be able to eat anything.” Phii Time said jokingly.
“Porsche said his coworker Pete told him that when stressed, you have to eat even more. When full, you'll get sleepy and won't have to think about anything.” I think that's true per Pete, sleep, just go. If you think and get a headache but still can't find a way out, why torture yourself. The fuller you are, the sleepier, sleepy then sleep, so you don't have to think, oh! It makes sense.
“That Pete, don't listen to him too much. You'll go crazy like him.”
“Pete is quite nice.” I think so, from what I saw when we met at the bar. At first when Porsche told me, I imagined mafia bodyguards standing still, gloomy, scary, but those I met at Sister Yok's place wiped out many images in my head. They're like rule enforcers, crazy, dumb. And they even counted under their breath, seemed like they couldn't protect anyone either, weird!
“Do you like Pete?” Phii Time went from laughing and smiling to making a straight face right away, I who couldn't adjust my mood fast enough hurriedly exclaimed.
“That's crazy...not my type at all.”
“Yes, because your Tem is exactly my type.” Phii Time smiled again.
“Are you that sure of yourself?”
“Handsome, fair-skinned, muscular, plays guitar, and hot on top! Ha-ha.”
You damn Phii Time, you brought dynamite and buried me in the ground, you damn piece of s**t, and then found a stick to cover me so I don't have to sprout and be born, trapped in a labyrinth, this is it, you damn root.
“Hmm, eat a lot.” And when he saw that I started talking loudly, it pulled me by the sleeve and put an end to it. Come on, Tem, maybe I can sleep in the car, forget about Phii Time for a moment. I hope he won't follow to deceive me in my dreams, damn it!
It was a vivid dream, yeah, even though it seemed like a bad dream, why does it feel so good?
After we finished eating, we drove back to Bangkok. I tried to pretend to sleep, but Phii Time was there, asking this and that, and I responded because I haven't adjusted well and I'm still struggling with my own feelings... until the song playing softly in the car suddenly became louder, and Phii Time sang along to that song, making me pause again in surprise.
“About last night, what happened, I apologize again for letting it slip. It seems like I didn't really intend to, but it was a deep desire inside me that couldn't be suppressed or forbidden. Can you forgive me for going too far... I want to be responsible for what I've done, to take care of you. Just listen and understand, don't avoid me like this, please come back so I can say those words, so I can make you feel better about it. Last night, the moment we shared, it happened because I love you.”
“Last night - season five.”
And he sang earnestly, until I, who was trying to lie down, leaned against the seat, looking out the window, almost wanting to bash my head against the glass and escape, to let it know and understand. It's like now I'm caught in a real trap, even if I find reasons to destroy the wrong, the bad, the good as much as possible, it feels like I'm defeated by someone like Phii Time and can't turn back anymore.
Because my heart surpasses the reasons of reality. Now I pray that it won't reach midday because I want to spend more time at night. It's safer, caring, and trembling until it can't be stopped anymore.
“The day after tomorrow I will pick you for lunch.” When we arrived at the dorm, Phii Time wouldn't let me get out of the car easily. He locked his arms and kept me close, then he pulled me closer to his forehead and leaned in, then moved to kiss my left cheek, my right cheek, whispering loudly but instead of resisting, I stopped still, letting Phii Time do as he pleased. Because the more he showed, the more my heart swelled.
It's been a long time since I felt this deep in love... This is the taste of feelings that I've been searching for. The alluring flavor, even though I know it's a trap, I still want to taste it as if it's a poisonous insect just because it's beautiful beyond my heart's control. I won't reconsider allowing myself to die just once to fly in and savor the desired taste.
“You are mine alone.” Phii Time and then leaned down to my lips once.
“...”
“If I text you, you have to answer, promise.” Phii Time lightly flicks both sides of my cheeks with his fingers.
“Now, Tem... give me a chance, please.” Phii Time leans forward to kiss my left cheek again, and this time I...
I agree... I really agree.
“Okay, when you get home, tell me.”.
Phii Time smiles happily as I turn to pick up my backpack without hesitation, only to be stolen by another kiss by Phii Time before actually getting out of the car.
It's fine, I surrender to temptation. Everything that was burning in my heart is now ashes—truth, reason, conscience, the sins are all gone, torn to shreds.
I just want... us to have beautiful nights like this forever.
Phii Time, I've liked you from the very beginning too, my nights have never been wrong or mistaken. Because it's always been the dream I've been yearning for.
[Little tidbits with Daemi...].
[Little tidbits with Daemi...].
Do you know?? Kadupul.
‘Kadupul’ It's a flower that blooms once a year, once at night, which blossoms in just a few hours around midnight, and as soon as dawn breaks, it hides its beauty from everyone's sight, once again...
TBC
Author’s NOTE:
No matter what happens, everyone needs to take a deep breath and exhale. Sometimes, we unintentionally make mistakes or wrong decisions, similar to events that actually occur in society. It's important to consider different perspectives of ourselves, encompassing both good and bad. There are times when we think we're good but may unintentionally do wrong or make misguided decisions. The situation, atmosphere, or anything else can be an uncontrollable stimulus... However, please pray to Time, with all due respect. Time, I can only help this much. Don't forget to comment, discuss, like, and share. Please send lots of encouragement. I really need a big hug right now.
And if we meet again on another platform, don't forget to include #TimeTayTemEP9. Let's have fun together, guys! Read all the comments, for sure. I can say that the next episode will be entertaining. See you soon! I'll update quickly, okay?
With love, Daemi. 💕
Chapter 10: Purple Daisy.
-Time-
I drove and parked in front of my house with a feeling...I don't know. I took a deep breath and sighed, pressing my forehead against the steering wheel.
I know...I'm a bad person.
But what I said to Tem was true. It was a time when I felt good to have him but at the same time, as soon as I drove into my own house and saw Tay's Benz parked there, the old feeling returned to my mind.
I didn't want to break up with Tay...
Even though Tay is spoiled. Even though Tay is insincere. Even though Tay acts superior to me, I didn't want him to disappear from my life, even a little bit.
Yes! I love Tay more to let him go, and at the same time, I feel good with Nong Tem. Unlike any other time. It's not like the one-night stand that ends after having sex but there is something about him that makes me calm and comfortable.
“Hey, A-Time, where have you been? A-Tay been waiting for you for days. He won't even eat food” As I walked into Grandma's house, she came in looking worried. I looked up at the second floor of the house but instead of feeling angry at Tay for lying to me about going to England, I was more upset with him for not eating. My heart sank suddenly.
A wrong feeling crept into my mind. Am I the one who knows Tay the best? Why do I think he's really going to England when it's just something he says when he's angry?
He has never gone far from me even once. And today, Tay is still in the same place, not going anywhere, like every time he says he'll stay and wait for me. And that's what makes me feel bored and tired.
I know deep down where Tay is but I choose not to bother him and wait for time to pass because I know why? It's still the same place where he will always stand and wait for me. And this time too.
“Hurry up and go see, Time. And don't make any noise.” Grandma pushed me up the stairs and shouted after me with concern.
I opened the door to my own bedroom and of course...
“Ugh..” The crying came before the silence, “Who did you go with again?!” Tay stood up as soon as he saw my face. From the first time he was sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
“...” I looked at him with a heart-wrenching feeling, pitying the person in front of me. Did I make him like this? Tay looked thin and haggard, with tears staining his face. Why do these feelings always arise when I see him in distress? Why didn't these images come to mind when I was doing the wrong things?
Tay is like stability, like safety. The longer we are together, the more it hurts, like a bond that we both kept. If it were a rope, it would be tied into a knot. It's deeper than the word “love” and more painful than “grief.” It's just a scar that we created together, and mostly it's me who learned to tie and not to untie.
“Answer me! Where did you go? Where...huhhhhh.” Tay walked straight towards me and pushed lightly like a ghost. He's now so weak that he's almost collapsing on the floor.
“Do you think I...huh...really want to go to England? Why did Time leave me alone again? Huh?” Tay sprayed all his desires out onto my face.
Yes...I knew that Tay wasn't going anywhere for sure, and I knew where he was. So why did I let him suffer alone?
“Tay...” Something that I held back when I saw his condition overflowed. My body shook like never before and I pulled Tay's body into a tight hug. Even if Tay struggled and resisted, I just cried and held him in my arms like that.
“Tay...I'm sorry.” I uttered the words with a trembling voice. The body that was shaking and trembling suddenly calmed down. Even though there was a faint sound, I could feel that Tay was starting to cool down a bit.
“Where did you go?!” Tay still asked in a hoarse voice, but the tone was lower than before.
Tay...is easy to give in, isn't he? Just by apologizing, he forgives me but it seems like he's a little surprised now. When he sees that I'm just crying and can't stop.
“Tay...” I hugged Tay even tighter, feeling more and more guilty. When I remembered the words that Tay said to me, “And the iron rule we agreed on is that you can't fuck your friend's boyfriend. And you can't fuck someone we both know...remember?”
That sentence wasn't in my head last night at the beach but now it's coming back to haunt me, and it's hitting me harder and harder. Tay's voice saying those words and the image of last night with Nong Tem are swirling in my head, making me feel worse and more suffocated.
“I'm sorry, Tay...” I repeated the same words over and over again until Tay fell silent. Everything was quiet now, and he raised his hand and lightly patted my back.
“I've seen a lot, haven't I...” Tay said softly.
“I'm sorry.”
“It's okay, Time.” said Tay, embracing me tighter than before. I never wanted to break up with Tay, and today's confirmation only solidified that I wouldn't let go of the person who had been by my side through thick and thin.
“Are you hungry?” I pulled away from Tay and wiped away the tears from my boyfriend's cheeks before turning to him. Tay looked at me with suspicion, as if he had a question or a small doubt. I felt terrible and guilty, and my subconscious mind worked so quickly that I had to shed tears.
I really messed up with him… I know Tem and Tay are acquainted. Moreover, Tay likes to praise Tem to me frequently. If Tay finds out about this, I can't imagine what will happen.
“Time...” Tay reached out to wipe away my tears, as if he had a question or a small doubt but then he said, “I'm hungry.” and exhaled softly, not asking me anything else, because if he did, I wouldn't answer correctly.
“Let's go eat together. Grandpa and Grandma are worried about you Tay.” Tay nodded, responding to my suggestion.
-At the dining table-
“You two are distressing us for real now, you are not children anymore.” The grandma and grandpa said, dealing with the shark fin soup and stir-fried noodles. The Peking duck in front of us made us salivate but I didn't eat much. The person next to me didn't speak, and I had to keep scooping and serving him, looking like we wouldn't eat or sleep.
“Eat a lot. I asked for help to buy food for Tay in the afternoon. Don't skip meals anymore. I am worried.” said Grandma and Grandpa, who had joined us at the table. They had already finished eating. It was late now. If we waited any longer, we wouldn't be able to handle it. Fortunately, Grandma knew and had prepared food for Tay in advance.
“I'm sorry, Grandma.” said Tay, chewing his food and wiping his mouth with a napkin on both sides of his cheeks.
“I'll pack the Peking duck for you, my dear.” said Grandma, serving her beloved grandson, Time, who looked after him. These two old people were so worried about us that they came to sit and accompany us even at this late hour.
I felt guilty towards the people around me, even towards Tem.
[Line]
Time: I'm home.
I messaged Tem with the last sentence he left me.
Tem: Okay. It's raining here, and I was afraid you won't be able to see the way.
Time: I'm not home yet. Hurry up and go to bed, Tem. Don't go out anywhere, okay?
Tem: I can't go out anymore. I'll go to bed soon.
Time: Sweet dreams (sends sticker).
Nong Tem read but didn't reply. I did everything I could to make it happen. If I skip the scene now, I'm afraid Tem won't be able to handle it, even if I'm a jerk. I'm someone who is ready to take responsibility for every action. I want both Tay and Tem to suffer as little as possible. Even though I know how difficult it is.
-The Next Day-
“Two baht, please...” I returned to my old way of life, hanging out with Tay while he was selling goods at my house.
“Solid gold will fetch a better price than gold-plated ones. If you buy them to sell, I recommend this tray but if you buy them to wear, I suggest this one.” Tay walked around and around. I played the same game, trying to grab his hand and hold it like I used to. I wanted to be a good person for him, to be close to him, to make myself look good, and to keep him in my sight all the time but at the same time, I felt like something was missing. I don't know... This time it's not like any other time. The feeling of relief is like being filled with Tem's words until it's not right.
[Line].
Tem: I woke up.
Tem, who read but didn't reply since last night, messaged me. I smiled at his childishness. Reading the line without replying last night, I was afraid he wouldn't know how to message me the next day. Tem made me feel like I was courting him in high school. It was innocent and charming.
Time: Have you eaten yet?
Tem: I'm about to go to the cafeteria.
Time: Do you have class?
Tem: Nope but I have a photoshoot in the afternoon.
Time: Oh, okay.
I talked to Tem with caution, holding Tay's arm.
“Time, can you hand me the gold box?”
Tem: It's been a month, replacing Porsche.
Time: Oh, you're the handsome one.
“Time!...Ti-!!”
Tem: I'm already handsome, duh.
“Hey, Time!!!!”
“What?!”
I flinched when I heard Tay's voice shouting into my ear, causing my ears to ring. Tay looked at the screen, but luckily I had switched to the game screen.
“Who are you talking to?”
“My friends in the game, damn it! They suck at playing!! They're really annoying me.” Tay took a deep breath and sighed. I didn't hold anything against him.
“Bring me three good gold boxes.”
“Okay.” I walked over to give the gold boxes to Tay, then quietly took a breath. I wanted to behave well with Tay. At the same time, I felt like I had encountered something and had to decide whether to abandon it for stability or to pursue comfort.
Pringgg.
“Welcome/madam.” The employee greeted the customer with a smile.
Thump! The sound of glass shattering made me turn around to see Tay reaching for his gun in surprise.
“Can I talk to the owner for a moment?!”
“If the glass breaks, I'll shoot for sure!” Teekhun walked in, dressed in a formal suit, with fur collar and strange glasses.
“Are you brave?” He took off his glasses and looked straight at me. I walked over to give the gold boxes to Tay, who was smiling at Teekhun.
“Why wouldn't I be brave?”
“I'm the Imperial Noble Consort and I manage six palaces. Why wouldn't I be brave?”
“Huh?!” Tay and I both looked confused.
“Hit him! Quickly shoot him in the face!” Then Teekhun ordered his bodyguards, Jett and Pon, to speak gibberish until I was confused. Except for Arm, who was already bored and turned to tell us who were shocked and stunned by the situation.
“Please stop shouting, young man. Khun has been watching a Chinese drama. Khun Tay and Khun Time don't mind him.”
“What?!” Then he gestured for the bodyguards to stop talking. This guy was really lucky, but his gaze still aimed at me.
“What did you do to my little brother? Hey! Time!”
I turned to look at Tay, not wanting to believe that my boyfriend had called and told Teekhun everything.
“How do you know?”
“He called and cried to me!!” Teekhun slammed into me.
“Don't you have any other friends to vent to?” I muttered to Tay until he laughed out loud.
“What kind of friend is that? Mew went abroad, Kinn is busy with something at home, who knows.”
“I mean friends in college.”
“What do you think? Since middle school, half of them have been beaten up, and the other half are like this.” Tay pointed at Teekhun with disdain, causing him to wave his hand in frustration.
“What do you think? Since middle school, half of him has been beaten up, and the other half is like this.” Tay pointed at Teekhun with disdain, causing him to wave his hand in frustration.
“Don't talk too much, Tay. Let's just go and see what's inside. I feel like I'm going to die and rot in that room.” Teekhun teased as he walked towards me. I blushed and hugged Tay, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Hey, watch it!!” Teekhun made a silly face. Meanwhile, Tay just shook his head and looked uninterested, eyeing Arm who seemed to be interested in the gold.
“Oh, look what I found! I picked up some good stuff to sell and make some money.” Teekhun pulled out a bag containing a bottle of brown liquid that looked like white liquor.
“What is that?” I asked.
“Snake wine!” he exclaimed.
“What?! Why did you give it to my wife?”
“It's good for postpartum recovery in women. You wouldn't know anything about it!” Teekhun snapped.
“What does that have to do with my wife? She hasn't given birth to a child.”
“The poor condition of her health is like that of a dying person. I went to get some medicine for her to recover. When I come back, I'll make sure she's virile enough to make you explode!” Teekhun ranted, waving his arms around. Then he turned to me and put the bottle in my hand.
“And this is for you. Don't let your wife touch it or she'll die.” Teekhun and Pete are crazy.
“This one is beautiful.” Arm and Tay seemed to be transported to another world, looking like they wanted to buy gold.
“Hey, Arm. Do you want it?” Teekhun turned to ask his nephew.
“Yes, I want to buy it for my mother next week.” Arm replied to Teekhun.
“Then you three can choose. I'll buy it for you at the same price but choose wisely, this store mixes gold with glue!” Teekhun warned.
Damn it, Teekhun! If it weren't for the fact that you were handing over your credit card, I would...
“Please have a seat, Teekhun. The kids will serve you water.” I quickly intervened, trying to defuse the situation.
“Thank you, Khun.” Not just the bodyguards at the door, but the owner of the store also bowed to me. If you don't buy gold, I'll slap you, Time, for money.
“Bring me that chain.” Teekhun pointed to the mirror arrogantly.
“Here you go.” I quickly handed him the necklace. Buy a lot of them, just like you pointed at me earlier!
“I'll take one chain!”
“The kids will serve you some tea. I'll have a cup of chamomile, please! And this golden rose is 5 baht. It's a special carved gold rose that you can put in your fancy room.” I quickly grabbed and stole it. Don't waste your trip, Teekhun. I'll lure you until you're broke.
“Little-Khun, Grandma's Little-Khun.” Suddenly, Grandma walked slowly and quickly hugged Teekhun.
“Grandma!” Teekhun raised his hands and his mood changed from being shy to cheerful immediately.
“I thought I heard some whispers.” Grandma kissed Teekhun's cheeks. Then, Teekhun made a face that was so cute that it made Grandma want to pinch his cheeks! Grandma was close to everyone, from her sister's husband to her friends but with her own grandchildren, she liked to tease them.
“I brought some rose-flavored dumplings for Little-Khun. I just finished making them and they're still hot. I know that Little-Khun likes them.”
“Grandma, your rose-flavored dumplings are the most delicious in the world.” Hmm... that darn Khun. He used to insult me, but now he's suddenly acting cute towards Grandma.
“I will put them in a box and send them to Auntie for you.”
“Thank you, Grandma. Auntie will definitely love them.”
“Time gives a discount to Little-Khun too.”
“Khraaaaap.”
Grandma ordered me to do it, so I had to quickly respond. The grandchild is really precious, not like fish in the fresh market that fluctuates up and down according to the market. It depends on his mood. He's in the stock market now. Oh my god! I'm going crazy.
“All of it, 630,800 baht. It has decreased now.” I handed the receipt to Teekhun to see. He just kept eating the dumplings. Then, he waved his hand and asked me to swipe the card. Teekhun is easy to buy things for, but he buys things that are useful. He bought several gold bars. That's good! He didn't buy something useless but don't get me wrong, I saw Pon, Khun’s bodyguard and he complained that his boo hunger for gold is crazy because it's in the Chinese series, he is buying it like taking it as a prop for some kind of performance. In short, he bought it to play with. I'm going crazy!!
“This gold is like the one in the Yanxi Palace.”
“Buy it, Little-Khun!” I quickly urged him. What he does with it is his business. I'm tired.
After the gold transaction with Teekhun was completed, I hurriedly sent him back home. Tay and I went up to the room to rest in the afternoon because Tay had been standing all morning. I feel sorry for him.
“This room smells so good...” As we entered the room, a certain fragrance overwhelmed Tem.
“I turned on the diffuser.” Tay went to change the color and adjust the level of the diffuser. I walked in and hugged him from behind.
“What's that smell?”
“Do you like the smell of rain?” Tay turned to look at me and we kissed each other once.
“You don't like rain, do you?” I asked, teasingly.
“I just don't like the sound of it but it smells good, doesn't it?” Tay leaned his head against my chest.
“Yes, it smells really good, just like you.” I nuzzled into my boyfriend's neck and took a deep breath. Tay smelled amazing, and I was starting to lose control.
“Not now.” Tay pushed me away.
“Why not?” I looked at her, pouting. I traced my fingers along her neck and played with her earlobe.
“I have to go deliver our report to the professor tonight.” Tay's voice trembled as I started to get too close.
“Just a little taste.”
“It's going to rain soon.” Tay frowned, looking at me with a hint of desire in her eyes.
“Please...” I reached forward and gently kissed the person in front of me, but now my hand had slipped under the underwear of the pants, inserting a finger into the back opening and gently rubbing it.
“Just once for now...” Tay said as he lifted my shirt, exposing my chest. He leaned down and sucked on my nipple, just as I had done to him.
“Just once for now...tonight, my love.” Tay smiled and then pulled down my pants. He then took my hardening member that was starting to expand into my mouth with familiarity, and controlled the up and down strokes with skill..
Our love affair began in the middle of the day, not just because I knew Tay's weak spots, but because he knew how to make me feel happy too.
I finished in Tay's mouth once, and then again in his asshole. We played with each other until we were exhausted, hugging and kissing each other passionately amidst the scent of rain and the overwhelming desire. I almost wanted to continue, but with the responsibility that Kinn and Mew had left us, we had to deliver the report to the professor by four o'clock this evening. It made me feel frustrated and Tay felt it too. He sucked on my nipples, teased me, and put my cock his asshole without stopping. The deeper it went, the more I fell in love with her. I never got tired of praising Tay's body, but it only made things more difficult every time.
-University-
“Because you, we only have ten minutes left before the professor office closes.” Tay was on my back as we rushed to our dorm room. The professor was nice enough to wait for us, but it was still raining.
“Sure, another ten minutes.” I hurriedly followed my boyfriend. Then the red light turned on and eight of us were sent to report to the teacher. Although we were scolded a little, we were relieved. Those two jerks were really burdensome to leave such a big load like this!
“Wait, it's raining.” While waiting for the bus at the roadside sign to take us to the parking lot, the rain suddenly poured down.
“Come in and take shelter.” Then the voice of a student who brought us to take shelter from the rain sounded, making me turn to look.
“Tem!!!” It was Tay who hurriedly waved to...the person who was walking with his friends from the moon.
“Phii Tay...Phii Time.” Tem was stunned for a moment when he saw us before sending a smile.
“Come here. Haven't seen you in a while. Are you going to have lunch with us today?” Tay asked with a cheerful tone.
“I have a rehearsal.” Tem replied softly, the atmosphere was dark and gloomy. The rain was pouring down heavily, but the most uncomfortable thing was not the weather, but me standing between Tay and Tem.
“So be careful not to get wet in the rain but bring your umbrella. Be careful not to catch a cold, Tem.” Tay smiled at Tem, who looked at his own umbrella. I remember that it was my umbrella that I forgot in Tem's room.
“Yes.” Tem looked at me with an indescribable feeling but I could feel that it was a sad feeling.
“Tem, your building is far away. Should we send you there?” I asked, trying to ease his anxiety at that moment.
Creek! I hugged Tay tightly and covered his ears to protect him. Tay closed his eyes tightly with fear. As for me, I tried to comfort him.
“It's okay, I am here, right?” I said to Tay to ease his anxiety, as he seemed to be quite startled. Then I hugged him like that. Don't let him be afraid anymore, until a hand reached out and handed me an umbrella.
“You should go with Phii Tay.” Tem said with a slightly trembling voice, and at that moment, I started to let go of Tay.
“It's okay. You can use my car, Tem.” I said and pushed Tem away.
“This umbrella belongs to you. Take it back, please. I probably won't need it.”
“Oh, is it the umbrella in the car? Take it, Tem. We won't need it anymore in case you have to walk into the building, right?” Tay said kindly to him.
“I can take care of myself.” Then Tem held my hand and put the black umbrella into my hand.
“Excuse me, I need to go to the other side to catch a bus.” said Tem before he walked away. I quickly spoke up to him, “Take care and don't get sick, Tem.” However, Tem didn't turn around to respond to me, and instead, Tay spoke up.
“He must be tired. Today he looks unusual, let's go to the parking lot with an umbrella. We'll stay here until the rain stops. It might take a while.” I agreed with Tay's idea and took the umbrella that Tem had brought back. Then, I took Tay's hand and walked to the parking lot.
“Time, be careful not to get wet.” Tay warned me.
“It's okay, Tay. I'm more worried that you might get sick.”
My shoulder was wet on one side, but I made sure that the person under the umbrella with me was safe. Even if it meant sacrificing myself to get wet, I didn't want anyone else to get wet, whether it was Tay or Tem.
We can tell the depth of love on a rainy day, which is clearly visible from the slope of the umbrella. It's the love between me and Tay. It's evident, but I made the other person wet to the bone.
What should I do about this? I don't want anyone to get wet like this, whether it's Tay or Tem.
TBC