[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 8: Monkey Cups.
-TEM-
“Tem... would you like to go to the beach?”
After that sentence from Phii Time, we drove in his car until we reached the midway point to the beach, then stopped at a rest area. I was considering whether I should bring Phii Time along or not. Because, today, my gang, friends from the science and sports faculty, invited me to visit the beachside vacation villa, due to our G.E. project, we formed a group and we have to submit a report by tomorrow. So, finding the appropriate place, chatting with other people, and getting drunk inside sounded like a good idea. And because Porsche and Jom definitely wouldn't go, I became the representative taking care of the remaining guys who couldn't help it.
“What's up?” I answered the call, it was Porsche calling on the phone.
[Is it time already?]
“….”
[I saw Tey's beach story, and I really want to go too, damn it!]
“Hmm... Porsche.”
I swallowed hard, finding it difficult to tell my dear friend... that right now, I'm with someone.
[Huh?] I saw Phii Time walking out of the coffee shop through the car window, with a tense, worried, and anxious expression. He didn't look happy. He wasn't playful like usual. So, I made a decision...
“That's it. If there is something? I'll call and let you know.” I made a decision... not to tell my dear friend who knows both Phii Time and Phii Tay, in case Phii Time wouldn't want to get involved too much. And it might just complicate things further.
[Alright, what do you want me to type in the chat... Porsche! Khun Kinn is calling you!!... Damn it, why are you calling so soon! That's it, bye.] The voice of the third person calling Porsche made it even worse, and I quickly ended the call. Before I took a breath with unease, as if I had done something wrong, even though there was really nothing at all.
Man, what am I thinking!
“Oh! Bought it for you.” As Phii Time opened the car door, he handed me a Starbucks cup, and I reached out my hand to take it, smiling slightly, then brought the straw to my mouth.
“Are you sure it's okay for me to come?” As Phii Time sat in his usual seat, the driver asked if he could join to grab a cup of coffee.
“Orange Mocha Frappuccino, is that right? Just try it, it's good.” I didn't pay much attention to Phii Time's question, I was just fascinated by the unfamiliar taste of the beverage.
“Orange Mocha Frappuccino, espresso shots actually. I don't know what you like, so I ordered something similar for both of us.” Phii Time replied, placing the cup in the cup holder, shifting gears, and driving off again according to the map.
“I like it, it's interesting, huh?”
“What's up? Just orange coffee.”
“But it's delicious.”
“Yes, Tem you are easily satisfied.” Phii Time spoke without turning to look at me, his gaze fixed on the road ahead, and he kept glancing at the map.
“How so?”
“You are like a little kid finding their favorite dessert.” And at the moment I was staring at Orangina, Time came up and messed up my hair before I could react.
“Oops...” I quickly combed my hair back to its original style, with a face that made Phii Time burst out laughing.
“That's why I asked. Did you hear it?”
“Well...” I turned my face to ask Phii Time. There was a moment when Time’s eyes left the road and looked at me, while our eyes and hearts synchronized for a moment in a way that I had never experienced before.
“Well...” It's like the two of us quickly turned our faces to look straight ahead, blushed, and that awkward moment just now, what the heck was it! Then the silence spread throughout the car for a while, damn it! Like, a split second of madness that couldn't go on, something like that! “You asked if I went to the sea, right?” Phii Time said, raising his hand and reaching for a cup of coffee to drink.
“Uh-oh, we are halfway there, you know.” I smiled mischievously.
“Then let me ask again, your friends will not mind, right?”
“No, not at all. They probably would welcome someone who they can charge for some liquor money, they must be delighted.” I answered honestly, my classmates, the Science Faculty, they're just rowdy guys, the lab reports are just a front, the actual reason is finding an excuse to drink, more than that, and it's just a group of three or four people. It would be more fun if someone else joined in.
“No need to divide, I'll treat you.”
“Oh wow... That's very generous! I'll eat then, can you afford it?” I raised an eyebrow and looked at Phii Time with a smirk.
“...” Phii Time turned to look at me from head to toe.
“You're so tiny, and you're easy to take care of. I'll spend all my money on you.” Phii Time playfully raised his eyebrows and messed up my hair again.
“Do I look like a dog or something?” I think he made a slight clicking sound.
“Nahhh...” Phii Time dragged out a long sound and smiled, coming closer.
“So, what do you see?” I turned to ask with curiosity, and yeah, I could clearly see that I look like a dog, and this Phii Time is really good at teasing.
Hmmm... Phii Time responded softly while pondering.
“Feeling relieved.”
“What?”
....
I asked him for an answer by making a puzzled face. It's not because I didn't hear, but I'm afraid I might misunderstand, you know... Oh, well! Something about his response made my heart pound so fast that I almost couldn't control it.
Phii Time went quiet, raised a subtle smile. I'm starting to get scared of my own feelings, which are becoming chaotic inside, and I'm trying to keep my emotions calm and not think too much. That's all. Although... The person next to me seems like he is pushing me into some kind of abyss. Something. Because, you know...
From day one until today, I just can't accept it... Phii Time matches the type I look into men perfectly. Everything, yes! I've liked guys for a long time now. Even though I haven't explicitly said it to my friends, especially Porsche, Jom, I know they can guess and understand who I am.
Phii Time is playful, mischievous, friendly, and most importantly, caring. The way he looks at me is like... my first love in high school.
He watched over me and was ready to protect me all the time... I don't know. Every time I'm close to Phii Time, it reminds me of the first feeling I experienced with the word "love." Although this word may have faded and diluted over time, it's still there.
The delicate edge of a soft lip and the breeze of breath scented with the fusion of alcohol and Phii Time's fragrance, combined with an accident when I attempted to carry him to sleep on the sofa in my room last night, and then an unexpected moment when the two of us got close to each other, resulting in an unforeseen event.
The intoxicating feeling at that moment almost shattered my consciousness. It didn't fade even the slightest, but rather it stirred within me until I couldn't sleep, and it even bothered me profoundly until now. I think Phii Time was drunk. No, that's actually a good thing! Because I'm afraid that we won't be able to look at each other the same way. I tried not to mention or act differently, to appear as normal as possible, but every time those images resurfaced when our lips met, they played in my mind and disturbed my soul.
No matter how much I warn myself, even if I try to block thoughts from drifting too far, with foolish gestures, provocative poses, and words from Phii Time, it almost makes me want to run away and escape as far as possible. Because the closer it gets, it feels like it keeps knocking on me all the time.
No matter how blinding Phii Time may be or how his sparks pierce my heart, I will remind myself firmly that he is... ‘A friend’ The one who seems like a beloved older brother to me, I won't forget my handsome Phii Tay. I won't let anything obscure my vision and make me even weaker than this, for sure!
“Have your friends arrived at our destination yet?” And then Phii Time changed the subject, and I kept gulping down water until the glasses were empty again.
“Yes.”
“It's okay if we're late, right?” I quickly apologize. Because initially, I intended to drive by myself to the destination after being there earlier, but they started their journey before noon, so I called and postponed meeting with my friend. Now, with Phii Time accompanying me, I told my friend that the senior requested to go. Therefore, they were not surprised and didn't think much about accompanying the man.
We drove together continuously. Sometimes we had conversations, but mostly we played music in the car. Until we reached our final destination.
...
[The sea].
My friend's place, the villa, is magical with its single-storey layout, located by the sea. It has a central swimming pool, a kitchen, and a beautifully furnished guest room. Currently, I'm sitting here doing research for a report but guys, I'm really impressed! Especially Phii Time who not only went out to buy liquor and beer, but also got the good stuff that I never thought would taste so amazing just by looking at it. We started sitting around, no longer sticking to our designated spots, and had lively conversations.
“How about that, Tem? I'm using Google Translate, but I'm sure the professor won't be mad.” Tey handed me a notebook to look at the part that needed to be translated into English.
“Oh, stop it! I've translated it using Google Translate already and sent it to the professor, okay!” I turned towards Tey and started looking at each sentence.
“The construction work will collapse because of me... What did you do, Tey?!” I raised my voice in frustration.
“Sorry, blame it on the Google translation, not me!”
“Hehe, what's up?” Phii Time, lying on the sofa behind me, raised his head and extended his hand, motioning for me to slide his notebook closer. I glanced at him and moved closer, keeping his arms that were resting below where I was sitting.
“Change the sentence like this... um... for a moment” Phii Time raised himself from the sofa so that he could type more comfortably. At that moment, I was about to dodge, but both of Phii Time's arms prevented me from escaping.
My heart seemed to skip a beat or something; the feeling started flooding back again. I paused, just a moment, before calling back to myself and trying to act as normal as possible.
“Phii Time your course is in english, right?” Bank, my friend in the group, asked.
“Yes, its in English”
“Great, Phii. Sorry for bothering you with our foolishness” Tong bowed down to the beautiful floor in appreciation. Well, this group of friends doesn't care much and doesn't bother much. Actually, we're not close at all, to be honest. They just know that Phii Time is an upperclassman at the university, and they don't ask any further questions. They don't really pay much attention. Just occasionally tell me that Phii Time is a university senior, and that's it. Because, day by day, they only care about liquor and women but if it's Porsche and Jom...
The image of a dark detective room came to mind, with a single dim lamp in the center of the table, and they all glanced at me while diligently jotting down detailed daily notes!
“These international college guys are handsome, Phii Time is extremely handsome, no doubt about it.” And these guys decided for themselves that Phii Time must be the senior model from my Moon Star competition. Judging by the looks, it's true. So handsome, like this but they probably forgot to consider that aside from never winning the university Moon Star championship, the International College kids also rarely send anyone to compete. It's like they have their own special league. And I can't remember which faculty Phii Time is from, so important. And the most important thing is that Phii Time seems to know his stuff. So, uh, oh, they're all following him like that.
Phii Time seems like a godsend. Now Tey, Bank, and Tong are looking at Phii Time with admiration! Once Phii Time had come down, pleasing the animals in the park, Phii Time became the English-language spokesperson for Moon Star and, on top of that, now he has notebook notes resting on his chest. He lies down on the sofa and reports to me seriously.
Bringing Phii Time along has been very beneficial for my group. And the work is done quickly too. My friends are almost worshiping Phii Time and they're going to buy red wine and multi-colored fabrics to offer.
Love is love, infatuation is infatuation. If you asked the fishermen, they probably wouldn't understand. Because I'm a whale that's lost, dead in the water, with a heart shattered beneath the sea, and when the work is done, the sky is dark just right. We set up tables and chairs together at the back gate, connecting to the beach, and we sat down with the guitars.
Now, Tong is playing and Tey is singing along to the whale song "Koey Teun" passionately. As for Bank, he works hard brewing liquor and provides excellent service to Phii Time, who seems to be well-received by them. Because he clangs glass into them and sings along. Phii Time in this corner of the world looks relaxed, and he doesn't look worried like he did during the day. He looks cool, but it's like he's his own person, something I've never seen before. Like an appearance that looks handsome but is just an ordinary person. The society where he lives seems to be of a different class than mine, but he adapts to every situation, swaying along with the water, unbelievably flexible.
He's a person who appears ordinary... only more special than others.
“Phii Time, would you like to sing a song? Any song you want.” Bank turns and invites Phii Time who was sitting next to me.
Uh... “No, I don't want to sing either, you guys sing.” Phii Time dismisses it, then raises a glass, sips the liquor subtly, and in the rhythm, colored water gently flows down Phii Time's neck. The bulge moves slightly, looking sexy and tempting.
“Uh, you can sing, let's play the guitar.” Phii Time stays and takes the guitar from Tong, then sets the strap a little bit. Can Phii Time play the guitar??
Oh, damn it!! Oh, damn it!!! My heart is pounding so hard right now!.
I can look but not like, because it will confuse my heart. I can talk but not for too long, and don't create unnecessary attachments. My heart is fragile.
Damn it!!! Just when I thought I was focused on Phii Time and couldn't think of anything else. I suddenly snapped out of it and quickly turned to grab my own glass of liquor to drown my sorrows.
It's okay to be close, but not too much, or it'll be more than just... Phii-Nong.
Damn it!!! Just when I thought I was focused on Phii Time and couldn't think of anything else. I suddenly snapped out of it and quickly turned to grab my own glass of liquor to drown my sorrows.
It's okay to be close, but not too much, or it'll be more than just... siblings.
Hmm... right at that moment, Phii Time relaxed his voice and leaned in a little bit closer to me, as if he intended for me to hear only him, and it was really like that, indeed.
Phii Time!!! Bastard!!!
What I don't have and wished for is the love that you give me, don't give it to anyone else~.
“Drinkkkkk!!!” I pretended to have a blast with my friends at the table, and now Tey is busy preparing another round of his special drink 28 determinedly pouring red wine again.
“As today Phii Time has become the host treating us to drinks, and also helping with the reports, this time I, Tey, in return, let's say thanks with white wine.” Tey grabbed a bottle of white wine he had prepared in his backpack, seemingly empty.
“Mosquito, Fanta Red, and ice cubes, and then, the... real fun, this is a familiar grass wine that we're well-acquainted with, drinking together like a pair of dogs calling each other's fathers, and the first victim that Tey honored with praise and a toast for this occasion, especially, is none other than the esteemed guest, Phii Time.”
“Drink Phii Time first!” Tey poured the drink from the bottle into a glass and handed it to Phii Time, who received it bravely, albeit hesitantly.
“Judging by his status, attire, and the car he arrived in. Phii Time, you must usually drink expensive wine, right?” Tong exclaimed, causing me to burst into laughter for real.
“What's so funny?” Phii Time sniffed the drink and turned to ask me.
“That's wine, right?” I replied with a smiling face and received a drink from Tey.
“I see it's poured very clearly into the glass.” Phii Time looked confused.
“Oh, so it's grass-root wine, Time? Your throat must be tough because there's no sweetness, only relying on pure strength.” I smiled widely and raised my glass in a mocking manner. Time had never encountered it. He had never seen anything like this before, but you, man, seem to handle it pretty well.
I gulped until the glass was empty, making Phii Time show signs of discomfort.
“Ah!!! That's impressive!!!” I closed my eyes and then shouted immediately as the warmth of the alcohol flowed down to my stomach.
“That's something, huh?” Phii Time looked back and forth between the glass in his hand and me before hearing cheers from friends. I...
“Cheers!!!”
And then, Phii Time! He got excited too. He closed his eyes, gulped until the glass was empty, and then shouted with the influence of the white liquor.
“Ah!!!!!!”
“How about you, Phii? Can you handle expensive wines?” Tey asked playfully.
And Phii Time remained silent for a while before answering.
“...It's incredibly delicious!!!!!!!”
“Hey!!!” And I don't know why they're so happy outwardly. It's already delicious, damn it! Red wine, Fanta, 100 Plus, white liquor, sweet and sour hiding the bitterness, me who has been with it for so long. It's become a drink in my heart.
“Bring some moreeee.” And now they keep celebrating like crazy. So much fun that they forget that, hey, this drink is just a drink. The more you like it, the more you drink, the deeper the alcohol it sinks. And that Tey, he's already pouring another glass.
I know I'm good-hearted. I never think too far. I feel relieved to see her in pain, tears streaming down her face.
Soundtrack sung by Bank, guitar performance by Tong, combined with the sound of waves and the gentle breeze blowing across my face, accompanied by a refreshing drink in hand, creating a delightful atmosphere all around me. Slowly, I get up from my chair and walk straight towards the nearby beach, where the waves crash onto the shore, and I settle down on the sandy surface, gazing into the dark abyss in the distance.
What if I sit right here, close to you? Let me assist you with something before that person of yours arrives. Let me be your companion, at least to keep loneliness at bay. When they come, I will leave.
"Are you drunk?" A voice, Phii Time's, resonates from behind me, and I tumble down, landing on a nearby seat. Although I don't turn, look, honestly, I'm just a bit dizzy, not really intoxicated. I haven't had much of that grass-root wine like the rest.
"What's bothering you?" Phii Time tilts his head and asks me. I turn to meet his gaze briefly, then look out again at the familiar darkness of the sea.
Silence envelops both of us. No conversation whatsoever. Phii Time himself sips his drink, embracing the atmosphere quietly, just like me.
"Do you know? The person I had an issue with last night... it's my high school ex." Not knowing whether it was the influence of alcohol or anything else, I ended up saying it out loud.
“...”
"He was my first love... At first, he was kind, friendly, and warm. What's more important, he was incredibly skilled at playing the guitar."
"Tem, you like kind-hearted people?"
"Yes, I also liked a person who was kind-hearted. And who has been really good to me, genuinely. A mischievous character, too. And the fact that he makes my heart race every time... like when he plays the guitar and sings. I want you to know that he's incredibly talented. He's currently studying fine arts at the university, and he was a sensation back in high school."
“...”
"But we broke up a long time ago, you know..." I turn and give Phii Time a subtle smile, meeting his gaze without averting my eyes.
“...”
“Because we were secretly dating, for gay couples like us, it's difficult for society to accept. Moreover, the more popular he becomes with girls, the more he distances himself from our relationship. From the time he used to protect me, from the time he was kind to me, from the time he prioritized me, it seemed like he was pushing me out of his life little by little.”
“But it seems like now...” Phii Time asked a question, but I knew exactly what he was going to ask, so I immediately responded.
“Jealous! He acts like a jealous lover all the time. In the end, he wasn’t brave enough to admit me anyway. I just didn’t want to go back into the loop. So I tried to stay away from him as much as possible.”
“But he still has feelings for you, right? ”
“I don't know, maybe...” I sighed. Because I don't know what Earth wants. Since I moved into the dormitory and later found out that the guy next door was Earth, my senior who used to be my ex-boyfriend, I don't really know what he wants.
“And what about Tem... do you still like him?”
“I've tried to forget for years, to the point where I don't feel anything anymore. When he first brought a fuck buddie to the room, it hurt, but later on, it became annoying and tiresome... even though he asked me to go back to him, I... have to hide and avoid, just like before. Earth is not someone who accepts what he is, and he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes men... You and Phii Tay, you are lucky that your acceptance is acknowledged.” I smiled at Phii Time before he averted his gaze and looked into the darkness.
“Tay and I aren't as glamorous as people think... some things put pressure on us until it becomes overwhelming.”
“...”
I quietly listen to Phii Time.
“Tay has been my first love since kindergarten... Well...”
“That's true. In that case, it's been a really long time.”
“Really. It's been an incredibly long time.”
“Probably not much different from Earth and you. At first, things were good but with society, preferences, and many other things, sometimes it makes me feel... inadequate.”
“But Phii You really love Phii Tay, so yeah.”
“Tay is not someone who accepts others. Tay is someone who is very clear in his own thoughts. When something displeases him or when he wants to express his feelings, he doesn't care about anyone's face, not even mine.
“Because when we love someone so much, we may expect too much from them, but I believe that you've gone through it, yeah. Phii Time turned to me and I gave him an encouraging smile, it's evident in Phii Time's eyes how much he worries about this.
“So what... let's drink. Cheers!!” And Phii Time clinked glasses with me, and then we drank until the glasses were empty.
“Wow... this white liquor is amazing. “ Phii Time said with delight.
“I'm a little drunk now. “ I teased.
“At your level... hehe. “ I smirked at Phii Time's refusal because his face turned really red now.
“I won't carry you, I will let you sleep here.”
How wicked of me.
“We have friends sleeping already, see! Tey already curled up.” Both of us turned back to look at the table at the same time, and then we burst into laughter.
“This is it, the sea is full.” I raised my eyebrows and looked at Phii Time, waiting for his response.
“So, what now?”
“It's super fun, look... It's not complicated. There's only things that are simple, but super comforting.” And then Phii Time took another deep breath, his eyes widening in surprise.
“Liquor, music. Sound of waves, and cool breeze. Just this is enough for happiness.”
“We find happiness in simple things, really.” Phii Time reached out his hand and ruffled my hair gently.
“Sometimes happiness arises from small, little things like this. Phii Time, try releasing your dreams and desires.” I thought, like, then I lay down on the soft sand, changing my perspective from the darkness of the sea to the sky adorned with countless twinkling stars.
“It's super fun, look... It's not complicated. There's only things that are simple, but super comforting.” And then Phii Time took another deep breath, his eyes widening in surprise.
“Liquor, music. Sound of waves, and cool breeze. Just this is enough for happiness.”
“We find happiness in simple things, really. Phii Time reached out his hand and ruffled my hair gently.”
“Hmm, letting go of dreams, huh? Why not give it a try.”
Phii Time came down and looked at the sky beside me.
“Beautiful stars, huh?” I spoke out and gazed at the clear and beautiful sky.
“Do you like kind-hearted people?” Suddenly, Phii Time asked without warning.
“Would anyone not like kind-hearted people?”
“Yeah, it's true... Can you play the guitar?”
“I can play it decently.” I said honestly. Although sometimes, deep down inside, I feel like screaming and shouting when he grabs the guitar and sings. It's incredibly cool.
“That's impressive.” Phii Time said casually.
“Do you like to talk like this all the time?” I teased Phii Time.
“What about you? Do you see me that way?”
“The image from last night is still vivid in my mind.” I turned to look at Phii Time and made a playful gesture.
“Wow, erase it, erase it. Sometimes, situations can be suffocating.” Those words of Phii Time made me instantly brighten up.
“You're above me, really.” I thought to myself, letting go and taking a deep breath. Slowly exhaling, my gaze extended to the serene sky, casting a bluish hue, illuminated by the moonlight.
Although the surrounding atmosphere may be calm, inside, it's a mess. Confusion, turmoil, and a multitude of thoughts pervade. Actions, gazes, and words are just part of a natural habit of a man, a lover of fun, or... perhaps, what is he thinking? If we have too many thoughts... should we just dumbly lie down like this?
“Hmm... it can help to some extent.” I responded in a moderate manner. Honestly, if I were alone or just with Tey, Bank, Tong, this might be a way to eliminate worries. However, because there's a root cause that almost drives me crazy lying next to it, even if a monk is right in front of me, I'm still exploding with excitement!
“How do you let go? What should I do?”
I'm squinting my eyes and looking at Phii Time, thinking in my heart, does my face look like a deity? If I know, I'll be flattered, and then, damn it! Stop behaving seductively towards me so I can stop thinking so much, I'm confused already.
And you! How can you match my specifications in everything like this?! Both externally and internally, not to mention the charming aspect, externally it's handsome, good personality, good-looking, fair-skinned, looks friendly, playful, accessible. As for the internal aspect... caring, warm, and capable of protecting me.
And you're a person with charm. Sometimes I accidentally stare at you almost without looking away, just like Earth back in high school, no mistakes.
Oh, damn it! Stop it now, Tem!!!
So I have to stop thinking about it for now.
“Oh! It's quiet now.” Phii Time turned to look at me, our eyes met again, again, and again, and I unintentionally got lost again. Just let it die! I floated down from the sky and looked at Phii Time. I still don't know when I became conscious!! Just having a sharp face can still look this good, I don't like thinking about myself right now.
I don't want to admit that... I'm trembling.
“Oh... let it go, huh?” I tried to look at the sky again and gather my thoughts.
“Let go of everything, identity, responsibilities, things to do, things to think about. Sometimes, we also need time, some emptiness, let it be a matter of tomorrow, a matter of the future. Don't carry anything, leave it all the time... because it's heavy.” I kept talking without knowing if Phii Time understood my words, but it definitely sounded bitter.
“Haha, you watch motivational videos more often, or, watch comedies together, you need it.” Phii Time put his feet and arms on the sand, held his hands behind his head, and leaned his body closer to me to see my face clearly.
“Well, you asked, so I answered, right?” I frowned, trying to focus by counting the stars in the sky because now Phii Time's face moved closer to me. Until I smelled his familiar fragrance kicking in my nose, and a chant in my mind bounced up...
Buddhism Precept III: Abstain From Sex.
“Actually, what you said is true, sometimes it's really true, keep and release something, sometimes just abandon yourself for a while, even just a split second, it's the same. right now I feel so relieved...”
I squinted to look at Phii Time with a tense expression.
“Don't think about anything... just the sea, the sky, and... you, Tem.”
I paused for a moment, Phii Time's sentence left me empty, as if I was now being sent into a vast space, a blank canvas, my mind racing almost to a loss of consciousness, trapped in a maze or a whirlwind of something, with no way out.
And I don't know how long I've been silent like this. I don't know how long I've been drowning in thoughts. I don't know how long the scent of the sea has been overpowered by the scent of Phii Time's body. I don't know how long I haven't been able to take my eyes off the face that aura has caught, seemingly clearer than the moon on this night. Until...
!!!!
The sound of glass and a toppled table caught my attention, and Phii Time's attention, as we turned to look at the scene simultaneously.
“Hey! You, Teyyyyy!”
Phii Time and I quickly ran to see our friends. All three of them now lying flat on the ground, in a state of complete disarray, the waterlogged heads in order. Phii Time and I stood there dumbfounded, with slightly flushed faces. Although we were both a bit tipsy, stumbling, with red faces, we weren't to the point of unconsciousness, intoxicated like our friends.
Actually, the turbulence that was arising in my thoughts could be due to the effects of alcohol, yes! It must be exactly like that, without a doubt.
Just as I was about to make up my mind and walk over to support Tey, to help him stand up and drag him inside that house, Tey spoke up, with sleepy eyes and a swaying cane in his hand.
“Temmm, I'm not drunk.”
“Even if you're not drunk! Just go, go inside.”
“Tem...”
“Huh.”
“I seem to... uh...”
“Huh, what, Tey.”
Ugh!!!!!!! [Vomiting Sound]
Alright! Tey, you really crossed the line with Tem and almost threw you on the side of the road. But with a sense of responsibility towards my friend, he tried to keep his composure and dragged the friend to the sofa in the middle of the house as quickly as possible.
“Just go to sleep, dude. I'll leave a bag next to you. Here, put your mess in there! Woohoo!!” I threw Tey on the sofa, then grabbed a bag nearby and placed it close to him.
“Tem, go wash up. Tong and Bank will handle it themselves.” I saw Phii Time laughing at my messy hair, his body covered in Tey’s vomit mess. It seemed like Bank and Tong had a bit of patience, so I left them to Phii Time to deal with. As for me, I walked into another bedroom with a bathroom inside and tried to hold back the tears while taking off my shirt, enduring the mess caused.
When I saw my reflection and felt the unpleasant smell of the mess all over me, I decided to take a shower. I dealt with turning on the shower faucet, rinsing off my body, and the confusing thoughts that filled my mind, devoid of my usual conscience, being close to Phii Time all day long. I completely forgot that this person was in a relationship with Phii Tay, a person I highly respect.
I stood still under the water stream and slowly washed away everything, the drunkenness, the temporary bad behavior, letting it all flow down the drain. I used shampoo and soap to cleanse everything, leaving a pleasant scent that made me feel better, gradually releasing the tension and relaxing.
I took quite some time to handle my business in the bathroom. I thought Phii Time must have taken care of everything very well because the outside seemed very quiet. As soon as I wrapped the towel around my body and used another towel to dry my hair, I walked out of the bathroom, intending to pick up the backpack I left in the guest room. However, I had to put my foot down immediately when...
“Oh... Oops.” I couldn't move my feet and didn't know what to do next. Because the image I saw was Phii Time sleeping with closed eyes, lying on the bed all neatly. At this point, he had taken off his shirt and jeans, leaving only his boxer shorts.
“I brought your bag.” Phii Time spoke without opening his eyes and pointed to the table inside the room where my bag was. Indeed, I walked hesitantly, clumsily, to grab my clothes.
“Those guys...” I asked with a hesitant voice, not daring to look at the bed too much.
“Bank and Tong went to sleep in another room. As for Tey, I let him sleep on the sofa. I turned off the lights, poured water on them, and they passed out.” There, that thing I flushed out of my body earlier suddenly appeared, coming to me non-stop.
I slowly put on a T-shirt and shorts. Without even daring to look at Phii Time a little, tonight, I have to share a room with Phii Time for real. While everything was in chaos, another thought came to my mind.
Phii Time came with me, so where should it sleep? Besides, it has gotten drunk and stayed overnight in my room before, what's there to think about? Phii Time himself probably doesn't think much about it.
But... even though Time has stayed overnight in my room, we've never slept in the same bed before, what should I do? Or should I go and squeeze with those two and leave this room for Phii Time? But! Will it make him think too much? Ah, like I care about what he thinks but!!! Is it even fair for me to go to sleep with them? Oh no!!! Why does it have to be so complicated like this?!
“Good night, Tem. What are you thinking?” I turned to look at Phii Time with a slightly distracted mind, but... my heart softened a bit. Because... he had placed a pillow on the side and pointed to the other side of the bed.
“And... didn't you take a shower?”
“No, too lazy, reluctant, maybe.” Phii Time raised his head, rubbing his tired face.
“But I don't stink.”
“...Oh, okay.” I turned back and pretended to zip up my backpack, then slowly hung my towel on the hanger next to the hanging clothes rack. This room doesn't even have a sofa.
“We're both tipsy, some kind of white wine?” Phii Time blurted out, breaking the silence.
“Well, walking wasn't that easy either because I just laid on the spinning bed, hehe.” Phii Time chuckled softly.
“Do you want to drink water? I'll go get some.” I turned and asked while exhaling softly. Right now, it feels heavy in my chest. I walked straight to the door without waiting for Phii Time's answer. Until my hand was about to reach the doorknob.
“Tem.”
“Yes?”
“If you're not comfortable, I can go sleep outside.” Phii Time stood up and sat down, with a slightly confused face. Now he must be really drunk. Hehe.
“No, it's not.” As the one who thinks too much, I hurriedly replied to dispel any worry.
“Phii Time, just sleep. I'm afraid you'll be more uncomfortable than where I am, I'll go sleep in another room.” I spoke with a cautious tone, accompanied by a face that was extremely perplexed and confused. Just die!
“It's you, Tem, who is uncomfortable, stop making it about me. Come on, just sleep, I'll go sleep outside.” Phii Time moved to the edge of the bed and was about to stand up. It was at that moment, with the sight, posture, and glance of Phii Time that seemed don't know, don't care, and down. It stabbed my heart, and I quickly suppressed it.
“Alright, let's both sleep here then.” I walked to my side of the bed and smoothly jumped up to sit down. Phii Time smiled a little.
“Sure.”
“Um... Sleep, sleep.” I gently pushed Phii Time to lie down as before and adjusted the pillow to be more centered on the bed. Before slipping under the blanket, there was a big surprise waiting for me, the blanket had only one piece, a smile! I had already thought it had to be like this, to make my heart beat faster. Now it's shocked to death on one side. Oh well!
“Turn off the lights, please.” Phii Time told me, and the orange lights around the room were switched off. Darkness instantly replaced them.
I lay on my side, facing away from the bed, trying to control my breathing and calm down. Counting from one to a hundred in my mind like crazy.
1, 2, 3, 4, inhale, exhale, om, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
“Goodnight, sleep well.” Phii Time's voice sounded muted and soft. I don't know if it was my imagination, but just a while ago, how many was it, 5 right? 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and then what was that jittering behind me? With curiosity, I slightly turned my head to look back. Even though the room was dark, the light from the front of the house still allowed me to see Phii Time clearly.
“Huh? I love hugging pillows?” Phii Time hugged the pillow, his arms and legs embraced it tightly, like a full stream.
“Oh, okay!”
Ohhh!!! Why is Phii Time's scent so strong?! Whoa, whoa! It's back, it’s back. When was it just now? 6 and six more, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11! It smells so good. Why is it so distinctive? 10, 11, 12, 13. Why do I still see an image of Phii Time with my eyes closed? 12, 13, 14. Pooh, om, why so mischievous? That guitar strum earlier, why do I think about it? My heart is beating fast and loud. How much time has passed? 12, 13, 14. Why is the saxophone playing so high? Since yesterday until now, I'm almost going crazy. In conclusion, it must be a usual habit that irritates or maybe...
Thump! I was startled when Tem's hand lightly touched my arm.
“Why is your breathing so heavy, Tem? Is something wrong?”
“N...no, nothing.” I replied, barely audible in my voice. Just before Phii Time's hand rested on my arm, it gently stroked me.
“Are you uncomfortable or drunk? Let me check.” Phii Time turned my body over to lie on my back, and I was pulled so easily that I couldn't react in time. At that moment, I knew that Phii Time was close to me.
Phii Time looked at me up close and patted my chest lightly with his forearm. At first, I marked the boundaries between us with a faint line, but it disappeared in an instant.
The breath that richly touched my face made my heart beat irregularly. My body tensed up because I couldn't control my thoughts anymore. And I couldn't, in a split second, look away from those enchanting eyes. I seemed to be spellbound by many irresistible things. Appearance, scent, atmosphere, and the overwhelming warmth. My body was trembling.
“Your heart is racing... What is happening?” Phii Time gently brushed his fingers over the area where the falling hair covers my face.
“Phii Time...” I just realized that I am now in the embrace of someone, based on the posture, with both hands of that person holding my face and the weight pressing against my body, leaving me unable to refuse anything.
“I really like you, Tem, you know.” Our noses touch lightly, and Phii Time's words further blur the line between feeling and reality. I become infatuated with everything right in front of me.
“Tem, you like me too, right?” Phii Time slid his finger to gently touch my cheek.
I admit that besides Earth, this is the first time I feel like falling in love with someone, again. In the midst of trembling and heavy responsibilities, I feel like falling in love with someone.
While the tremors and the guilt were hitting hard, something suddenly struck me.
“But Phii Time...”
And the sense of guilt faded away when Phii Time quickly spoke up.
“The look in your eyes when you are looking at me... Can you tell me if I am imagining it?” I was so confused that I almost went crazy. I felt like diving into the flames, as if I were not afraid to be burned to ashes.
“Now. At this moment, can we just focus on us? Don't think about others. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't think about the future. Right now, it's just me and you, Tem. Can we?”
Soft lips and the tip of the nose pressed against my cheek, and at that very moment something began to unravel, the tension started to fade away, the long-held anxiety slowly dissipated, bit by bit. This feeling, this longing, has been trapped in me for so long.
It's as if my words on the beach echoed in my heart once again, in the end... the desires, defeated by the fading and vanishing sense of guilt.
No matter what happens from now on, it's because I... can't see anything, except Phii Time alone.
TBC