[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 42: Ivy
-Arm-
"Are you going to sit there forever?" the Young Master walked over and sat next to me while I was sitting, staring at the large screen TV playing a series, I don't know what is going on, the storyline must be intense but I couldn't see anything except for one person who was stuck in my feelings and in my heart, making the smiling face image of this person keep flashing in my mind, endlessly.
"...What do you want, Young Master?" I asked without turning to look at the conversing couple, because my gaze continued to stretch far away, the focus point was lost.
"I want to!"
"What do you want, Young Master."
"I want my conscience back!!!" I slowly responded before getting up to get the items, and the Young Master nodded in approval.
"Ohh!!! You, Arm!" Before I could regain my composure, Young Master's foot kicked me until I fell on the sofa and my head hit the cushion immediately.
"...” And I didn't move my body at all. The Young Master kicked me wherever he wanted, I looked at the ceiling with a blank expression, motionless, and my mind drifted further than before.
"Pon!! Go get some medicine!”
"Is Young Master going crazy?"
"Get some for your friend here! He looks like he's on his last legs. Ohh!!! You, Arm!! Help! Please! Think! A bit!" Young Master stressed each word. In the final sentence, he used the pillow to punctuate his speech matching his body movements.
"Arm, hey!" Pon tried to pull my arm to sit up properly.
"Tell this sulking moron to not kill my mood!" Young Master shouted into my ear.
"Hey! Don't give up, friend."
"I have tried to find him several times but he always avoids me. Even when the Young Master went with me, he still didn't show up." I spoke calmly, without emotion, even though inside I was chaotic and restless.
"You have to try, just like you've always done for him." Young Master sighed deeply, I've been like this for about two weeks now. After the incident at Time's house, Tay refused to see me again, even if I went to the court with the lawyer, or even just to visit him and the Young Master. Tay wouldn't even come down to see me, so I know that what he has seen and encountered is a complicated and confusing matter. It's certainly a business matter that is too difficult for anyone to understand, and the reason I didn't tell him from the beginning is not because I don't trust him, but because... no, I don't attach importance to this matter.
"One day Khun Tay will understand what you did for him!"
"How will he understand? He's in England now and he has no plan to come back." I said dejectedly.
"If you had the brains to travel far and buy stocks and houses, you could even reach the moon level, right? Hmmm... You don't even tell us how much money you have. Afraid I'll ask you to lend me some?" The Young Master teased me.
Khun Teekhun may not know the deep background, but he knows that I opened a company in my mother's name, but didn't expect me to mess around in the stock market and do business until I accumulated that much money. I was at my breaking point like a man sitting alone in a toilet, then acting like a dog who lost his mind and self-control. That in the past, Young Master knew that I had to agree to be the adopted son of his father's friend in Phuket because Khun Korn deleted my previous record and replaced it with a new one. After I returned from studying abroad, my father passed away, my mother fell ill, and I just wanted to take care of her and repay Khun Korn, who had helped my father. So for many reasons, Khun Korn made me the adopted son of his friend's father for safety reasons, because my late father’s business was not clean and he was afraid that enemies who knew my father still had a family left would come after me and my mother. It's also a good thing that I have technology skills and wanted to learn to make a profit, but what I lack is connection, and the fact that I came to work at the Main Family's home allowed me to meet many people and grow rapidly, that's all.
The Main Family has taught me a lot... especially Young Master, even though it may not seem like it, when I go to work or have to go to the company, I gain experience and learn about business, which has now become a habit.
Being a bodyguard at the Main Family's house is not something anyone can just do. The one who plays jokes saying they saw a leaf blown or submitted an application and got a job in a mafia family. Because in the mafia kingdom that the respected patriarch Teerapanya has built, once you get in you are fully involved. There are many secrets that must be kept before stepping into the world of this kind. It's not just about changing, it's like being born again, but having to clean up your life history in a way that enemies won't know who we are and what we did before. So... being cautious is a habit of mine. If you don't ask, I won't speak, or sometimes I won't even pay attention at all.
Because I am myself. Arm, bodyguard of Khun Teekhun. It's not anyone else, this is my true identity and I don't intend to hide anything even a little... because ultimately, I must protect the ones I love to the best of my ability.
I'm not the type of person who would boast about how much money I have or how much power I possess. Knowing people on a global level that could ask for help from them. Young Master doesn't know anything about me like that, even when it comes to my feelings, he only started to realize when I was depressed in a weak state like a body without a soul not long ago and most importantly, he found out about why I was depressed from Pon, not me.
"It must be a curse, a hundred percent curse! Whoever becomes the head of my bodyguard ends up being gay and in love. Fuck you all, I am... sad!" Young Master looked up at the ceiling as if tears were about to flow, "I can only support you guys, enough. When you grow up, you must choose your own path in life, and what makes me sadder than that is that, apart from finding a new bodyguard. The next head of my bodyguard will be Pon, right?" Young Master pointed at Pon and looked utterly disappointed.
"Young Master, what do you mean by that expression?" Pon asked Young Master with an irritated tone and a puzzled look.
"I might be able to end the curse with you, Pon." Young Master exhaled as if his heart was about to burst.
"Heh! I might be a mouse falling into a rice bin and becoming a rich man in the future! Hah!!!" Pon said, annoyed.
"..." Young Master reached out to grab Pon's face but he turned his head to the right, considering carefully, "Take it, Pon! Let’s dream together. Even if in the end you have to be with me for the rest of your life, it's okay!" Young Master slapped his hand away defiantly.
"Huh huh, then be sad!"
"I'm already sad to have to be with you for the rest of my life!!!"
"Young Master!!!!" While a battle was about to break out between Young Master and Pon, Porsche opened the door and entered the room without needing anyone's permission as usual.
"Arm, come talk to me in the other room." Porsche spoke with a serious tone and no one dared to argue with his behavior, as everyone in the room was intimidated by him these days.
"Stay strong. If Tay refuses to come back to you, I will take you to face him myself." Young Master patted my back for encouragement, and I followed Porsche out to his and Khun Kinn's workroom.
"I will not buy the Charming San on the Phra Ram 9 Onchanant project." I exhaled deeply at the ongoing problem I was facing, and I offered both of my businesses for sale to the Main Family, but Khun Kinn delegated this issue to the Second Family head, namely Porsche. Currently, my business within the group has used funds to buy shares, houses, and the main problem is the collaboration as a major sponsor of a national-level event involving a much larger budget than I had anticipated, leading to a sudden imbalance in cash flow within the company, "Currently, our company has no projects for housing estates and condos. Because you should know that we also have this business in our hands and have just started promoting it, just at the beginning of this month." Porsche reasoned everything out, which I completely understood.
"Yes."
"How much are you going to need?"
"Approximately 500 million." I said straightforwardly, even though the Main Family knew that I had my own business, they did not know how much money was circulating within the company. When Porsche and Khun Kinn first found out, they were shocked as well. I did not intend to undermine or deceive the Main Family's legacy, but because of my knowledge of the market game from playing small stocks, it gradually expanded and I started investing in projects and real estate with friends or acquaintances, and various connections that I happened to know, it grew until I couldn't anticipate.
"I will give you only 300 million, but I will take the project documents as a guarantee, there won't be interest, but we will make a payment agreement, are you okay with this." Porsche stared at his iMac screen and calculated the cost of making documents for me.
"Okay, it's up to you, but there is one thing I want to talk to Khun Kinn about." I spoke with a serious expression. Porsche glanced at me before standing up from the work table and calling Khun Kinn, who was buried in documents on the other side of the room.
"Kinn...come here for a moment."
Khun Kinn reluctantly looked up before pushing his chair out from the table and stretching lazily for a few moments before getting up and walking straight towards me.
"I want to say something so that we can avoid any misunderstandings between us..." Porsche sat down on the chair and continued to focus on his computer screen while Khun Kinn hugged the wall, leaning slightly to lean against the pillar.
"I know that Teerapanyakul and I are involved in similar real estate and project ventures, like myself, but I can assure you that I have no intentions of competing or being involved in the Main and Second family business dealings, such as housing and condo projects. I only handle small-scale projects with a different target customer base than Teerapanyakul's. I do not want to steal customers or disclose confidential internal information. I speak honestly, even though I have a lot of information about this family, I try my best to avoid clashes of business interests as much as possible and I do not have the ability to do large-scale business to compete with both the Main and Second Families.
"I understand that everyone needs to grow, and you yourself are talented so I am not surprised that you have come this far, and from what I have investigated, you have never used our company data for personal use." Khun Kinn said with understanding.
“I admit that Kinn and I were shocked to see that your company had that much turnover. But we don't mind anything because we consider it a personal matter because you yourself work for us without fail. But Arm...as a friend, I have to remind you business is about gaining benefits. Now that you've bought shares of Tay's family and gained power over his family, it's no wonder he's suspicious that everything is a business game.” Porsche spoke out with reason and the truth that I always thought. Tay will definitely be suspicious of you by this...but I dare say that's not the case. Not at all in the slightest.
"For me, I am still Arm who fulfills the role of protecting the Main Family's business not because I hope that one day I will expand the business to be a competitor, but I still remain the same Arm as before until this day, right now, because even if I have money, a lot of it, or have successfully established a company, I will never abandon the responsibilities that have made me who I am today and I love this profession more than becoming a full businessman." I spoke glancing between Khun Kinn and Porsche, "The bodyguard duties are the responsibilities that I love, but the business might be a benefit in life that I have learned from the Main Family and I will never forsake my job for sure." I spoke from the heart once again.
"Certainly if someone else did things like this, the Main Family would not keep them, but I love you no different from the brother that I have been thick and thin with and I know your sincerity and truth throughout. But that is when I spoke as the older brother to you all. In terms of business, thank you for giving the Main Family some sense of relief by working on the family and still being able to grow yourself. That being said, the fact that you are growing so rapidly means that in the future you will be a formidable threat to the Main Family holding all the power of the business. I must keep our enemies close, do you understand what I am saying, Arm."
I faced it with understanding because I fully willingly allowed the Main Family to investigate everything related to me and gladly disclosed all information without any conditions.
Porsche handed me a check for three hundred million baht, along with loan documents with collateral.
"Prove it, prove that you did everything for what seems to be making us feel at ease..." Porsche said calmly, I just bowed my head and signed all the documents to give to Porsche.
"We will help you up to this point, well... Time has recovered.. Tay knows what has happened but I do not know if he will come back." Khun Kinn, finished speaking and turned to walk back to his desk to work as usual.
"Alright with you."
"Thank you very much, Porsche."
Porsche smiled at me encouragingly before I left the room and walked to the garden to relieve all stress by inhaling nicotine into my lungs, for the happiness I have not felt for almost a month to flow into my emotions.
But what can I do? Smoking cigarettes, almost choking myself with one pack a day or trying to pay attention to the series that Young Master started watching. The image of Tay is still embedded in my mind and never fades away, even for a moment. I admit that what I have done, what has happened, from the decisions I made all by myself. I do not know if my feelings are above cause and effect, but I have done everything with determination and dedication. Even though I have only briefly assessed the damage, I do not think it will be the end. It may have entered my psyche this much, but it is not a problem because I do not care. I used to say... I want Tay to be happy even if I am not by his side, but I just realized that what I have done is just to want to possess Tay's heart, and beat Time.
It all comes from my pure selfishness that made love encompass everything, even leading life, doing things that are too obvious without thinking ahead, but I will not blame anyone. I feel lucky, because at least I have felt love for someone that I am willing to sacrifice everything for, because besides my mother and Young Master, I don't even know what love that makes the heart beat is like. Making the world bright and waking up to spend time with someone, how does it feel? At least Tay made me feel and yearn for the needs that are stored deep in the heart.
Rrrrrrrr.
"What's up?"
I answered the call from my younger sibling at the company.
[News has been released that the artist from the band, Diamo, will be staying to film a reality show diary at Khun Tay's family hotel.]
"How's the trend going?"
[As we discussed, even though Khun Tay is not guilty and has solid evidence, there are some online users who believe it is a setup, so some have come forward against Taa, but it's not much.]
"How are the stocks doing?"
[It's improving, but still dangerous.]
"Move up the filming and broadcast it faster."
[But Khun Arm... it's quite costly.]
"Tell them I want it to be aired by the end of this month, and add more money as the company requested." I ordered firmly, knowing well that the artists' agency, with their expensive prices, their ears and exorbitant fees, didn't matter what product they held, they would sell it all out as the factory couldn't produce enough, but I agreed to pay and expedite everything to clear the path for Tay with a one hundred percent certainty of profit.
[Understood, Khun Arm.]
I hung up the call from my lower underling, and discarded the cigarette butt into the bin at the Main Family estate garden, before taking a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh. I was prepared to continue to act as a bodyguard for Young Master, but as soon as I turned my face to the direction, I stopped abruptly. I braced myself immediately...
"What's up, Young Master." the Young Master stood behind me, I'm not sure how long. Pon was also standing a bit away, smoking.
"Here!" The Young Master handed me a long white paper.
I received it, puzzled. Before realizing that Young Master was giving me a signed one hundred million baht check.
"I reserved twenty VIP tables for the Main Family... I know that you are losing money from organizing a concert, consider it as a contribution." Young Master said with a smirk.
"Young Master!!! I can't accept this. Take it back!" I quickly grabbed Young Master's hand and handed the check back.
"Oh for fuck sake!!! This amount of money won't make me feel burdened at all. I'll tell you something! Even though I only have a chocolate factory and take money from cartel business day by day, that doesn't mean I will run out. Because don't forget that I am the Main Family’s eldest son, I secretly sold many furniture pieces from dad’s stash to make money back. Hehe! Remember that Arm, I will not have any problem, anything at all, because of the jewellry shops!! And I have a reputation to care about because I have a heritage, okay!!!!" Now Young Master stuffed the check into my pants pocket before pointing his finger to scold me and warning me not to try to give it back.
"Young Master, I'll find a way to return it." I felt everyone's concern, I felt like I was acting foolishly, crazy like this. Love can do everything, I believe that because even if I lose myself, I will still fight to bring back the one I love, to restore the dignity like before.
"Well...but Arm, I know you are dedicated to this because you love Tay so much, I don't want to be involved in your matter. When we love someone, we have to be conscious in matters like this otherwise, will someone be fooled until their bank statements read zero. But Tay is a good person, if in the end you two end up shaking it up, I am ready to help, but don't do it like this again, do you understand? Don't do anything excessive, I am worried." Young Master said, playing around but the eyes he sent me, Iccould feel how much he was worried about me.
"I want to have a wife!! I want a hundred million!!!!" Pon shouted out, stepping on his cigarette butt on the floor and punching it repeatedly.
"Don't worry Pon, if you manage to get a wife, I'll give you 500." Young Master replied teasingly.
"500 million, sir!" Pon opened his eyes wide with excitement.
"500 baht! Plus rice grains, 100 sacks!" Then Pon punched the floor repeatedly with a dramatic call, giving me and Young Master a laugh, until I felt relieved that at least there were people around giving encouragement.
"Thank you, Young Master." I walked over to hug Young Master without feeling the differences in our social status, and Young Master hugged me back in the same way.
"We've got your back, buddy!" And then Pon joined the hug with another person, just then the sound of Pete's voice echoed loudly.
"What are you guys doing!!! Are you playing make-believe roles? Come on, let me join in!" And just as Pete stepped out of Vegas' car, he appeared out of nowhere. Not knowing how he got there, he jumped in to hug us all until Young Master, who was in the middle, started to protest and shout with frustration.
"I can't breathe...help me!! They're going to kill me." And the sound of laughter echoed throughout the garden, the Main Family members were all confused. I feel happiness flowing into my heart, even though it may be small, at least I know I have good friends, a boss, or an older brother who is always by my side.
After that day, I was away from work for two weeks to settle everything, with Pete taking charge temporarily in my absence. Otherwise, Young Master would be without a boss and the person controlling the rules within the house, which Pete was deeply concerned about even though he would bring his son along every time to the madness in the Main Family house. The outcome was as expected, as the filming place for the artists' group, the online booking for Tay's family hotel almost full for the next year, with long queues almost reaching the end of the year, including many other products also met with success. I coordinated with the Ministry of Commerce, with some connections I had, to promote the products of our country. And, with the gratitude I always kept in mind, I managed it. 3k also joined as one of the producers of those products.
Netizens quickly forgot about the events that had happened, as drama often comes and goes swiftly. The reality shows and concerts were flawless, and did not commit any mistakes. I patched up all the leaks thoroughly because if done poorly, the results would be directly opposite of what was intended. I studied and gathered talented people from various fields to work on everything in a specialized way, so to speak there were only words of praise and joy. I did everything myself, almost at every step, even reading Korean fan club market games, to ensure that the artists were safe and happy with what they were doing. Not different from me, at least in part, which was the main goal. Everything was going in the same direction, I opened my heart and tried it with my whole heart, really, and my heart was called, 'Tay, until now everything of the Lerttiwinnon family’s’ danger passed, and it soared rapidly and beyond what my team had estimated.
Thais are easily forgetful, that's a fact that cannot be argued, because storms often come crashing down until it devastates everything around, but right after that, the sky will always be beautiful. Now, many companies are looking to buy shares of Tay's family company and join in supporting the upcoming activities. This has resulted in products and stock prices multiplying profits, and now, the Miss Galaxy pageant has announced the venue for the event.
"If I didn't know you well, I would have thought you were crazy and foolish to the extreme.” Today has finally come... the day I handed over documents related to stocks in Tay's family company to his family. My sole intention was to increase its value significantly, even if I did so well that I can buy whatever I want in this world as I please, and maybe even gain power, a big stake equivalent to the Main Family but it never make me shake my resolve to give the shares back to Tay’s family even a bit."
"Khun Nevin and Khun Thipthara, you must know everything about me and the company. Today, I am returning everything to you." I sat in the meeting room with Tay's parents looking at me with disbelief.
"You sold the shares you bought at a low price when the stock fell and sold them back to my house at the same low price, Arm!" Khun Nevin looked at the documents with disbelief.
"My company, ChrysanTM, also made a good profit from this investment, so we both win. I didn't incur any losses at all." Yes! Because my housing project has become a major sponsor and a widely recognized and profitable enterprise.
"You can sell it back at a slightly higher price, not the same price as when it was so low..." Khun Nevin looked at me, as if expecting some kind of answer.
"I never wanted anything from your family’s business from the beginning."
"Are you sure?"
Khun Nevin looked slightly disappointed as I lowered my gaze.
"And you still want to sell the land deeds of Time's house to me at half the price you bought them for? Huh! Do you think we are fools?" Khun Nevin smiled sarcastically.
"No, sir! I never thought that way, I will sell based on the condition. Because the area was burned down by a fire and has not been restored yet, also the front is the gold shop of Khun Nevin's family, so I offered to sell it in case you want to consider future expansion." I spoke honestly and truthfully.
"Wow... you are really smart, Arm, so smart that I want you to join my family’s business, but your cleverness can also be considered a threat, do you realize it?" Nevin handed over all the documents to Thipthara. Before I could react, she had been silent for so long that Thipthara signed and put everything away.
"I will keep your words in mind, and thank you so much for helping me all along, I don't know what to say except, thank you so much."
"Yes." I smiled, waiting for the completion of the transaction. Today was a testament to my integrity, for... the person I never got to see since that day in the fire, not even a shadow in this house.
It's been almost two months... Since I heard from him, but believe me, because he is always in my thoughts and I see him every night in my dreams, I am determined to rise up and fight for the chance to do everything for him. I know that I am doing everything for him alone, even if it brings me zero benefits I am willing to sacrifice everything without fear. I put all my intentions, even on days when I am exhausted to the point of near collapse. I will not give up to show Tay that I do not desire anything except for him, just him alone.
I love Tay with all my heart, and I have learned that love can make us do anything. I never thought of concerts, contents, or entertainments, but today has proven that my love is above all, faithful and steadfast to the point where I am willing to sacrifice everything to protect him.
"Today I bid farewell. Goodbye." As the transaction was completed, I waved goodbye to Tay's father and mother, Khun Nevin and Khun Thipthara, and as I was about to walk away and open the door, Tay's father spoke up.
"Give Tay some time... he was hurt a lot. But I believe that what you have tried to do for him will be appreciated one day." I smiled at Khun Nevin and Khun Thipthara before bowing my head in acknowledgment and bidding farewell once again.
My talent could be a danger... It is not surprising that Tay may fear me and Khun Kinn may be wary, but if my abilities are stripped away, I would just be a crazy fool who is blindly in love and capable of doing anything.
Is it raining? I stood at the door of the house and took a deep breath. I parked my car at the furthest corner of the fence so I would have to walk out in the rain... but it was also good to let the rain wash away the turmoil that I was going through. My thoughts were a little disarrayed, but at least it helped to wash away some of the pain in my heart, so I didn't hesitate to take a step forward and let my body get soaked all over.
I stood still, closing my eyes and allowing the tormenting thoughts to flow freely in my mind, because once I started the car. Starting it means that any bond I have created with him has come to an end. Except for my love, which still refuses to let go of the effort to love and be kind to this person.
"Do you think you're the hero!!!" The loud voice coming from behind me didn't even make me turn around, even though it was a familiar and mocking voice, because Tay exists in both reality and dreams, and the voice I hear now must be coming from my own thoughts, which I tend to always believe.
That he is always with me, in my heart, "Acting this nicely, are you trying for a music video?" And that voice got closer, making me forget to open my eyes and remove the feelings of delusion I always felt when the voice goes away, "The rain falls with sadness missing a toast to life." And with that familiar phrase, I immediately turned around.
"Tay..." the person I have longed for so long is now standing in front of me with a white shirt and black pants, looking simple yet distinguished and beautiful, making me realize right now that I'm not dreaming. Tay is standing right in front of me, his face so proud, with sharp and beautiful eyes, a nose and lips that are beautiful and hair that is short but well styled, all these images are still vivid in my mind without fading away, and even though my legs are still and my heart beats fast with longing, I cannot move, it is Tay himself who carried the black umbrella and comes to stand in front of me, facing me with those unique body odors that even in the rain cannot erase that sweet smell... I feel my heart tighten to the point where I can hardly say anything at all.
"You look really cool doing that." Tay said to me, but I swallow my saliva with difficulty, the longing that almost breaks my heart, causing tears to flow from my eyes because today is the day I've been waiting for the most. Tay... this person who made me hold on and wait every day to meet him, and today I finally succeeded.
"..." I remain silent, just staring at him with eyes filled with intense feelings, the silence envelops both of us until Tay has to say something to break the tense and restless atmosphere.
"It's been over two months. Is your silence still the answer?" Everything is tense, I, unable to say anything, end up saying something that hurts my own heart.
"Uh, Khun Tay… are you coming to visit Khun Time again?" It's a tormenting greeting, because my heavy mouth doesn't know what to say, or what to do in this situation, I don't know why I chose to hurt myself like this.
"Does it hurt to say that?" Tay spoke so knowingly, his expression blank and devoid of any feelings towards me, his empty gaze staring at me making me feel exposed. "If you don't care about your own feelings, care about someone else's a little bit." Tay continued speaking before I could speak, and I had to look away, afraid of what would happen after this. In my heart, there was only fear, fear that he would leave me forever. "Before doing anything, have you ever thought of asking, of telling me? Or do you think being deceitful or hiding something away is acceptable?" Tay continued speaking alone, making me quiet. I couldn't look at his face, afraid of what I might find hiding there.
"No...I never thought like that at all."
"But what you did made me think.. What did I do wrong? That I must be so dumb and weak to have someone manipulating me like this." Tay started to show some emotion, his eyes darting around for a moment before settling on me. I always taught him to face reality and deal with things as they come, but today I found myself being weak and vulnerable. When I mustered up the courage to speak, I gathered all my feelings and thoughts and spoke everything that was in my heart.
"Tay...I just didn't want you to have to think or worry about anything anymore. Back then, I wasn't trying to deceive or hide anything, but because...I didn't know how to express myself." I spoke, my voice trembling, trying to catch his gaze to show that my words came from my heart.
"You know. For the past two months, I felt like I was just a pawn in your game, because of the secrets you kept hidden. It felt like being deceived by someone who was no different from Time... And today, you bring everything back to me, at my doorstep, I don't know. What is your plan now? Do you genuinely wish me well, or are you just playing with my emotions, only to go back to loving me like before? But what I want to say is, the feelings that were lost, they can't be fixed."
I understood... I understood everything that Tay was trying to say. If I were to discover something that would confuse me about someone, I myself would choose not to pursue it, because I believe that a good relationship should make us feel at ease, as any doubts or hesitations may lead to future heartaches. And today, I will make everything clear to confirm that my intentions are simply to love this person.
"...Of course, I hoped, after many months of trying... I hoped for a positive outcome, but I think I hoped too much, and that's why I'm hurting so much now... I hoped to have your heart, to possess it. I'm sorry if that seems too much, but I just hoped for that, really."
"I wouldn't call it high expectations, maybe just beneficial, because someone like Khun Arm, the manager, or the owner of a company that makes a lot of money, what else can be called high hopes?" Tay seemed to be trying to provoke me, but I was ready to explain and make him understand more.
"Even if I am the owner of the company, even if I am a major shareholder, or even if I am a businessman that you would think is with you for benefits, or if I am just a pawn of the Main Family's business. No matter what I do? What status, but I am me in every role and that I have only one feeling, one heart, and one desire to be with a person called Tay..."
Tay fell silent with a slight downturn of his mouth, ready to explain with a chuckle slowly emerging from his lips, his eyes starting to turn red as if there were tears welling up waiting to flow out. As for myself, Tay probably couldn't see how much I was holding back my emotions... because at least I was able to express my feelings completely.
"Uh!"
"I understand... if you do not believe or forgive me, it's fine, but I want to say that everything I've done, for you alone..."
Today, I consider that the effort and exhaustion that I put in for him has finally come to an end and now the person in front of me seems overwhelmed. If he were to cry today, I would blame myself and be sad for the rest of my life, because as I've said before, what I hate the most is the tears and sadness of others. And if, at this moment I am the one causing him to feel sad with my own actions, I can't accept it. I hurriedly cut off the final scene.
"It's okay. Tay, you must be happy because if you are happy, I will be happy too, and don't be sad because the person who will suffer more than you, is me... I did everything for this love as best as I could."
I forced a smile for the last time and took a step back, bowing my head to my boss’s friend as he should be respected. I quickly turned around and walked forward as fast as possible because if it took longer than this, I might not be able to accept the truth that Tay will never forgive me, even though I also knew that Tay was hurt as well...
But then a trembling voice followed by a sob came along with a hand pulling my jacket from behind.
"Don't... go."
I halted my footsteps immediately. Before clenching my fists and releasing a deep breath until my body shook, finally Tay cried because of me....
"Don't turn around and run away from me again." Tay threw the umbrella down to the ground before sliding both hands to hug my waist tightly, his face buried against my back, "Wherever I go, getting involved with your business. My life may not be safe anymore... You will have to take responsibility for my life and take care of my heart for the rest of your life, understand!" And as soon as Tay finished speaking, I turned my face to hug him, once again in the midst of the relentless rain, I tried to use one arm to protect Tay's head before uttering the words that came out of my heart once again.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't act like I am stupid again."
"Yes."
Even though now both of us are soaked in the rain and have no umbrella to protect us, Tay's life from now on, I will protect it with both arms, with all my strength and with my own life. I hugged him tight, unwilling to let go, I was happy to the point where I couldn't speak and happy enough to forget that we were in the midst of a storm that was about to sweep us away. Because at this moment, the clear sky was brought to me by Tay, and I was blessed to be able to admire it and take care of it. Of course, I will do my best and never will there be a day when I will falter in my love for this beloved person, I will protect him with all my heart and soul that I have.
"Arm loves Tay the most."
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The end of the chapter, and the summary of love that is not just about two people.