[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 3: Chamomile.
-TEM-
... I feel like my life is too difficult and unbearable now. I can't find a way out of this situation, and I don't know why. The greed within me has overcome what is right. I know what's good or bad, but I can't control my heart, even if it's just a little bit.
“Um...”
I don't know which option I have right now. Should I choose what I like, or what's right? If I follow my heart, I will sink into negative feelings. Even if there is happiness, it will be accompanied by Tem's extreme anxiety, and that's not true happiness. But if I choose what's right for me, I will undoubtedly face sadness, pain, and suffering, but I believe it will pass...I shouldn't feel confused like this and not let this bother me because...
It's meaningless!
Ohhh!!! But even then, I can't make up my mind.
“I can't let him feel that way! The only thing I can do is take responsibility for my life! Huff, wait and make a decision.” I looked at the six volumes of comics in my hand with a sad gaze. Yes!!!! I struggled with my heart over whether to buy the Tay and Tem’s comic that was laid out on the counter, but I still haven't made a decision because I had to use the money to buy textbooks like I promised my mom, TT.
“Which one are you taking, Nong?” The employee waiting to collect money looked at me annoyed, but I didn't care as I was too busy staring at the Vamp comic book cover that caught my eye.
“What should I do? Buy a comic book or study materials? If it's study materials, it's really necessary because I can't borrow from Porsche or Jom. After all, they don't know that we have to buy study materials to enter class. Why don't I choose friends who are committed to studying instead of Newa?! Then I can use the money to buy everyone happiness and even use the study materials for this week's report. That's right!”
“Am I going to leave the vampires alone? They can't fight alone! Oh, wait! Mom gave me money to buy study materials first! But learning is stressful. Maybe she'll understand. Or maybe we can tell Jom and Porsche, if we're lucky, they might buy it. But that's something that rarely happens in my life. Can't borrow books from other friends. Other groups also use them to write reports.”
“Excuse me...little brother...can you move a bit, please? Come on.” I was pushed aside by his hands to stand next to Tay's counter and I automatically complied, although I stopped looking at the comic book.
“Take this book...” I heard a whisper from the person queuing behind me at the cash register, but I didn't care much. Suddenly, someone's hand came out of nowhere and snatched my favorite comic book from my hand and put it together with his own book. “And also take this book...”
“Hey!!” I quickly turned my head and saw the person who stole my comic book with an indifferent face. Who gave them the right to claim it from me?
“Phii Time! What's up?” I was surprised when I saw someone familiar standing so close.
“Haha, you've been standing behind me for a while, Tem.” Phii Time laughed and I laughed awkwardly until my laughter dried out. He might think I'm crazy.
I rubbed my forehead a little before looking at Phii Time handing over his credit card to pay.
“680 baht please.”
“Hey, Phii Time. I...I won't buy that book.” I quickly refused.
“Separate bags please.” Phii Time put down his pen and smiled at the employee without paying attention to me.
“Phii Time! I don't want it!” I quickly denied it.
“Bag it up anyway, Phii Time!” The employee handed over the bag of books and Phii Time pushed me away from the counter immediately to avoid the filled area.
“Um...let's go. They're people waiting behind us to pay.” Phii Time pulled me by the arm and we arrived in front of the bookstore. He handed me the bag, but I quickly said goodbye with an incomprehensible face.
“Why did you come to buy it for me?” I quickly raised my hand and waved him away, then turned my head and walked away.
“If you linger here, Tem, you will definitely get cursed by the person behind us who's waiting to pay.” Phii Time pointed to the long queue of people waiting, making me feel uncomfortable and thinking why am I even here?
“Oops, forgot. Were you standing here for a long time?” I didn't really know what to say, it had been occupying my mind for a while.
“Really long..”
“Yeah..”
“Fine, take it.” Phii Time kept pushing the book toward me, but I persisted and told him to just take the money back.
“No thanks, I'm hesitant.” I was being honest, it was weird that he came to buy something for me when we weren't even that close. Even though he had been to my room before, it was just out of convenience. I can't afford this kind of expensive stuff! Even if Porsche or Jom had never bought anything this pricey for me, I still wouldn't accept it. “No thanks, please just take the money back.”
“Just take it already..”
“But it's expensive..”
“Who said I'm giving it to you for free? Tem, you have to feed me.”
“What!?” I shouted out loud, feeling annoyed and about to yell at Tem to stop. The price of the book and the food was too much for me. “I don't have enough, sorry.” I looked around the market and quickly told Phii Time that I didn't have enough money. Even though I did, it is because I didn't want to spend more than what I had budgeted for. I was determined to save money and not trouble my family.
“Come on! One piece of grilled pork is enough.” Mai quickly interrupted my thoughts, but it just made me more confused.
“Uh..”
“What is it?” I couldn't believe that someone like him, who dressed and looked so good, could be so laid back. At least he wasn't pretentious, unlike some people in the mall. But then, he pointed out the nearby flea market.
“....” I swallowed hard, unable to speak or decide why someone like me had to make decisions all the time while the person next to me seemed to care less. It dragged me down!
“Let’s just go already.”
Finally, I came to stand in line to buy Pad Thai at the flea market, feeling extremely confused! The person who said that one piece of grilled pork was enough made no sense when we saw so many food stalls. The smells were overwhelming and made it difficult to choose what to eat. However, when Phii Time pointed to a stall selling Pad Thai and said, “That's the one. Please get it for me,”
I thought I would try street food for once. I thought to myself, Thailand is amazing! They clearly separated the different levels of noodles and the street food looked delicious! When I saw the auntie cooking with skill, I felt amazed!!
“Ninety baht please.” After paying, I received two portions of Pad Thai wrapped in paper plates and looked around for the guy who said he would find us a table. I saw him walking towards... the beer garden.
Crystal clear! I breathed out loudly in amazement at the sight of Phii Time standing out from the crowd with his stylish dress and appearance. He beckoned me to follow him towards the live music tables, undoubtedly impressive! People turned their heads to stare at him and wonder who he was calling over, but I didn't really care about the people around me because when I was walking with Porsche, he was even more like this. It was even more accidental than this, but that guy seemed to be looking for trouble somewhere. I got into the habit of not caring about the people around me anymore.
“What did you order, so many things?” But when we reached the table, I had to frown harder than before because the food looked very messy. There was skewered pork, grilled bread, fried red sausage, and baked pies, both sweet and savory!
“Well, I wanted to eat them.” Phii Time said as he borrowed a plate of Pad Thai for himself, then sat down in a chair opposite me. Before I could survey the food on the table, suddenly a beer server came over and handed him a drink that was meant for me.
“Did you order a beer too?” I asked Phii Time incredulously.
“Yes! How can you have such a good atmosphere without a cold beer?” Phii Time opened the bottle of beer and poured it into a glass for me, then himself, looking really relaxed. He said he was going back to watch a TV series today. Why did my life turn out like this, sitting here drinking beer with seniors at the beer garden?
“How about Phii Tay?” I asked Phii Time because recently I haven't seen Phii Tay around much. I always see them together, even sitting close to each other at the liquor store. And Phii Time seemed to be worried about Phii Tay (based on the phone call he made at the liquor store). It annoyed me.
“Why do you ask about Tay? He's not a touristy person. Everyone has their own lives.” Phii Time replied as he took a sip of his beer. My answer wasn't correct, as if I seemed nosy only asking about Phii Tay. I haven't seen him in a while, that's all. If I ask about Kinn, I'll look even more nosy.
“Oh, it's nothing.” I was at a loss for words, so I just looked puzzled.
“You're kidding me, aren't you? Have you eaten yet? I just had dinner with my family at the mall here.” Phii Time said, laughing and smiling frequently, but that was not unusual for him. He always looked in a good mood.
“Oh! Then you don't have to go?”
“I finished eating, so I'm going back now to be with my family.”
“Did you really eat? And how did you manage to eat everything?” I paused and looked at the food on the table.
“Just kidding...” Phii Time answered jokingly, looking nervous and fidgeting. I took a deep breath.
“Uh-huh...”
“Haha, I was just taking a walk now. I saw someone standing alone talking to themselves at the bookstore.”
“Don't tell anyone, Phii Time, they'll think I'm crazy.” I shook my head and smiled a bit when I thought about myself in the bookstore.
“It's so cute. The Pad Thai is really delicious.” Phii Time kept raving about Pad Thai and couldn't stop talking.
“Have you never tried it before, Phii Time?”
“I have.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise and looked at Phii Time as if catching him out.
“Who wouldn't have tried it.” Phii Time replied as he put another scoop of Pad Thai into his mouth. It wasn't finished yet. Maybe he was really hungry, haha.
“You look excited...”
“Are you excited because of the food or because of the person who came to eat with you?” Phii Time's voice trailed off at the end, making it difficult for me to hear the sound of people chatting and live music playing loudly.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked, trying to catch what he was saying.
“No, I just don't eat this often. So, when I do, it's really delicious.” Phii Time said loudly, competing with the surrounding environment, and I had to pause to understand him.
“So, how much is the food on the table?” I opened my pants pocket and took out my wallet.
“Why?” Phii Time frowned immediately.
“I told you I would treat you.” I was about to take out the money, but before I did, I glanced briefly to check my current financial status, and luckily I had enough cash.
“What? We're having Pad Thai, that's it.” I said confidently.
“No, you said you'd treat me.” I didn't want to owe anyone anything, plus I was afraid of disappointing them, so I made sure to clarify that treating meant treating.
“We'll split the cost of the Pad Thai then.” Phii Time quickly said, as he grabbed his wallet and put it back in his pocket.
“But...” I tried to speak up, but Phii Time rushed to change the subject and put my wallet back on the table.
“It's okay. Don't worry about it too much. You've been worrying too much lately. If you keep worrying like this, you won't be able to enjoy our food.” I took a deep breath and looked at Phii Time, who was staring at me intently. I had to put my wallet back where it was before. Although I didn't feel good about having Phii Time treat me countless times (even though it was just a small amount for him), I still wanted to contribute in some way.
“So, let's eat then...”
“What is it?”
“It's Pad Thai. Eat as much as you want. I'll pay for it. You should eat a lot.” I scooped some Pad Thai onto my plate and placed it on Phii Time's plate.
“You're good with beer too.” Phii Time said as I took a sip from my third glass. I felt relaxed since I usually drink regularly.
“Do you like it?” I asked nonchalantly.
“I love it! Beer and live music are perfect together. But I don't often hang out in beer gardens like this.” he replied.
“So, where do you usually go? Jae-Hok Restaurant?” Phii Time raised his eyebrow and leaned back in the chair next to him, looking super cool!
“Yeah, Jae-Hok is good. Other places are fine, but I really like that one. Besides, the beer goes well with the sea.” I said confidently.
“Huh? How is it different from other places?”
“What do you mean? Have you never been to the beach?” I asked jokingly, smiling slyly.
“How do I look like someone who hasn't been to the beach? Haha.” Phii Time laughed and shook his head.
“Well, your sea might not be the same as mine. I guarantee they're different.” I said, bragging a little. Phii Time just smiled and looked at me, his face slightly blurry. Why does he smile so much like that?
“Sipping wine, enjoying the view, eating cheese and steak, or if it goes beyond that... taking a yacht to watch marlins.” I imagined Phii Time's time by the sea.
“Wow, look at the marlins.” Phii Time turned his face and made a teasing expression.
“Sure, but there are no marlins. So what kind of fish are there? Hmm... If I said the mermaids are there, would you believe me?”
“Believe me! If that senior guy was there with us, what's his name?” I tried to recall the day when I met Porsche, who acted strangely at Jae-Hok restaurant.
“Brother? Is it Phi Kin?” Time finished his sentence, almost spraying beer on my face.
“What? A senior? Phii Kinn, right?” Time almost choked on beer.
“Teekhun!” Phii Time answered, and I made a face. Yes! Your name replaces him.
“Do you know how I see you? But I'm not the same as your replacement, delete that image.” Phii Time quickly brought both hands to my head and made me laugh with a pose that didn't want to be part of those named replacements.
“Ha ha, he's funny...”
“It wouldn't hurt to improve our appearance a bit, here you go.” Phii Time handed me my glass and filled it with beer.
“Thank you so much.”
“So, how's your sea?”
“My sea? It's incredibly fun! Sitting on the beach in the middle of the night, having a beer, playing acoustic guitars with friends, and constantly being hit by waves.” I said excitedly while rubbing ginger on Phii Time's face. “But normally, I don't go with Porsche or Jom. They're either too busy or too lazy, and usually, they prefer to swim with their clubs. Whenever we go somewhere, we always get drunk all the time. It's the worst.”
“Hmm, I've never had a moment like that.”
“You know, your sea and my sea are different.”
“Yes, but that's the sea I want to go to.” Phii Time replied calmly before smiling at me.
“Really? You should invite the gang to go there.”
“No way, imagine Kinn, Mew, and Tay sitting on the beach like that, they might be cursing me before their butt even touched the sand.” Phii Time shook his head and then handed me the glass before we both clinked glasses together.
“Wow, this is amazing!” Phii Time said contentedly while I continued to pour more beer for him.
“So... how is wine different from beer?” I asked him.
“You know that I prefer wine.” Phii Time smiled at me.
“Well... rich people, mafia, and wine go hand in hand, haha.” I laughed, partly because it was true, but also because I knew he rarely drank beer. He looked like he hadn't tasted its flavor in a long time.
“You should listen to more of Porsche's music. You and Kinn are so different!”
“But I have drunk wine before, just not recently.” I spoke truthfully. It wasn't that I couldn't handle alcohol, but my university social circle didn't order wine to sip casually like that. Moreover, the liquor stores we chose didn't offer it for sale either.
“Hmm... wine has sophistication, it gradually seeps into many things around you, but... if it's beer, you don't have to think too much about it, just be yourself.” Phii Time said, making me show a teasing expression.
“Wow!!! That's so profound, I can't even comprehend it, haha...”
“Jeez.” Phii Time playfully flicked my forehead with his finger, and it hurt!
“I guess I'm not suited for something like that. Why do we have to put so much thought into what we eat or drink?”
“It's not overthinking, I'm just asking, bro.” Phii Time placed a red sausage on my plate.
“But you spoke so deeply! When it comes to food, just eat and focus on feeling full.” I picked up the sausage and took a bite, then grabbed a beer glass in front of me. “When I drink beer, I just want to get drunk, not think too much! I keep pouring beer until the glass is empty.”
“Well, I said the same thing, that when you drink beer, you don't have to think too much...”
“But if you drink wine, you can't just focus on getting drunk, you have to appreciate its sophistication. By the time you're drunk, it might be too late, haha.” I spoke without much thought, seeming to be rambling.
“So, should we hurry up and get drunk?”
“I don't understand why you would say that.”
“Some people just want to match the taste of their food.” Phii Time said, which was different from my thought process and made me burst out laughing.
“I don't understand. Haha!”
“Do you want to understand?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Some things don't need to be understood, bro, we don't have to understand everything. If there's something we don't understand, we just have to accept the truth.”
“Oh... I believe you're in a hurry to get drunk, haha.” Phii Time looked at me with a mischievous grin, making me quickly deny it, as if afraid that he would think I'm weak for not being able to handle alcohol.
...
As time passed, I wasn't really getting drunk, but the alcohol was stimulating my speech more than usual. However, beer didn't affect me much, unlike when I drank under-the-counter liquor like this. Just sitting and drinking beer on the balcony made our conversation more enjoyable.
“I should head back now.” I quickly informed Phii Time that he didn't have to send me off anymore, otherwise, I might regret it later. “I can take the bus, it's only a short ride for me. You still have to go home after this.”
“Come on, I'm free today, I'll just send you off.”
“I'll arrive in one bus ride, while you still have to travel further to get home.” Despite talking for hours, Phii Time's presence didn't make me feel uneasy at all.
“Then I'll take the bus with you.” Phii Time said, rummaging through his cargo shorts pockets.
“What about your car?”
“I will go with you to your house.” At first, I thought he was going to call a taxi, but then he said, 'Oh, forget it!'
He seemed really relaxed. Porsche had told me before that KhunKinn has some kind of body card and can barely walk on his own. But I got the impression that Tay is very different from KhunKinn. And isn't Tay also a mafia boss? Does he not need a bodyguard who follows him everywhere like KhunKinn? Anyway, taking the bus is just as good. I've been doing it for a while now.
“Um...I don't know what to say. I'm surprised by how chill my friend is. Are we really friends? I don't even know anymore!”
“Here, let me go get your shirt with your help. Is that okay?”
“I have an umbrella that I haven't returned yet.” Oh no, does this mean I have to ask him to come pick me up? I'm starting to doubt myself.
“Um, how about I get two things instead? Then we can both go get them.”
“Hey, man! Seriously?” Tay exclaimed. Before I knew it, he'd grabbed my hand and we were running towards the bus that was parked at the stop.
-On the bus-
As I got on the bus, I felt my heart racing because there were already so many people on it. Why was it so crowded at night? It was crazy! I could feel the anxiety building up too, and I wondered how many times he'd experienced this before. Suddenly, the bus started moving and I lost my balance, accidentally bumping into his chest with my face. It was so embarrassing! The bus was so crowded that I couldn't even move my face away from him, and to make matters worse, Time put his arms around me and held onto my shoulders.
“There are so many people that I can't move my arms.” he said, sounding a bit surprised. I wanted to die! I couldn't get my face out of his chest because there were too many people pushing against us. Time smelled like alcohol and cologne, and it was overwhelming. Even though it was the same smell as before, this time it felt stronger and made me feel dizzy and lightheaded.
“You're smelling me again?” Time teased, laughing. I quickly pulled myself away and turned my head in another direction.
“Are you crazy? It's so crowded.”
“Friday is always like this... but we can continue drinking. Don't worry.” I looked at Mr-Phii Time with a disdainful expression. As we started talking more, drinking together became rowdy and my feet didn't stop moving. But I'm not crazy! “Just kidding. Is this the right sign?” I nodded in agreement as the car parked in front of it. The two of us got out and bumped into each other until Mr-Phii Time had to grab my shoulders from behind. Then my body was pushed until my back was against Mr-Phii Time's body. Suddenly, he wrapped both arms around my neck and we walked into the alley leading to my dorm.
“Do we have to pay for this?”
“The bus is free because of taxes.” he replied.
“Was it from the tax a hundred years ago? Why is the bus so old?” Tay joked, making me burst out laughing.
“So we're still in the same place, huh?” Tay said, hugging me from behind. Although his body odor was so strong it made me feel dizzy, I tried to keep calm. Suddenly, I realized something was not right...
We were still standing together in the same place, and Tay hugged me tightly from behind. Although his body odor was so strong it made my nose tingle, I tried to stay calm. But Tay must have sensed that I was tense because he loosened his hold on me and gently stroked my head instead.
“...” I took a deep breath and tried not to think too much, but I still felt strange.
“Your dorm is always far away no matter how much we walk.” Mr-Phii Time tried to speak with a slurred voice until we walked in a normal state. He might have been a little drunk and not thinking too much about it. Just forget about it.
- In Tem's room -
“It feels dizzy just being here.” As soon as we entered Phii Time's room, he collapsed onto the sofa. I didn't think much of him getting up on the bed since my friend did that often.
“Okay then.” I asked if he wanted me to take off his shoes before walking into the kitchen area.
“I haven't had beer for a while, but it's the same thing.” Phii Time placed his hand on his head. I saw him do that and turned on the kettle while waiting for the water to boil. Meanwhile, I walked into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe to take out his shirt.
“The shirt is right here.” I told Phii Time, who was already half asleep, and placed the shirt on the table next to the sofa. Before going to the kitchen, I boiled water and mixed it with cold water from the refrigerator to make warm water. Then, I opened the storage cabinet above my head and took out a box of instant coffee.
“Here's your coffee, Phii Time.” After making the drink, I handed it to him.
“It smells good.” Phii Time raised his eyebrows and looked at me, then gradually sat up.
“Maybe it will help.”
“Does it really work?”
“Not sure. Warm water should help, but instant coffee should give you good dreams.” I said as much as I knew and then looked for what was available in the room.
“That's enough for good dreams.” Phii Time laughed and drank his tea slowly, but that sentence made me stunned for a moment. But Phii Time continued to speak casually like any ordinary friend.
“Can I smoke?” Phii Time put down the tea glass and walked over to the sliding glass door on the balcony to open it wide.
I didn't say anything, just watched as he leaned against the balcony door frame, smoking and looking relaxed. Meanwhile, I sat down on the sofa and answered messages from my friends while scrolling through funny clips on my phone.
“What are you watching?” I was having fun reading dark humor when Phii Time suddenly stood close to me, holding onto both sides of the sofa, leaning down until his face was close to mine. Then...I don't know why...my heart started racing. I didn't understand.
Maybe...it was because of the scent that still lingered in my nose mixed with alcohol, along with the strong smell of cigarettes that made the fragrance of the air freshener fade away. It was so overwhelming that it made me unable to look away or even escape from the aroma that made me feel nervous within seconds.
“...” Even the gentle breaths on my face made me feel shaky, until my consciousness slipped away for a moment, until...
“Hey!” He grinned at me before taking off his own shirt, revealing a tanned and muscular body that smelled even stronger than before, and it was so clear that I felt dizzy. And then Phii Time took that shirt and pinned it onto my face, and laughed.
“Hey...what?” I regained my senses and took Phii Time's shirt off my face, then asked in confusion.
“Wash it for me.” Time said as he came out and grabbed the shirt I had washed for him, putting it on.
“Uh...what is going on?” I looked at myself and then at Phii Time's face with confusion.
“I'll come to get it later.” Phii Time smiled widely at me and patted my head before grabbing his phone on the sofa and walking towards the door to put on his shoes.
“Uh...okay.” I responded, not really understanding anything.
“Uh... okay.” I responded with a lack of understanding. “I'll go deliver it then. I spoke softly. “No need to hurry, take a break...”
“Uh...alright.” I nodded and slumped down onto the pillow on the sofa, trying to forget about what just happened.
“Let's go to the sea together someday....” Phii Time stood up straight after putting on his shoes and turned to look at me. “Your sea, I want to go to that sea.” Phii Time smiled widely, giving me another look that I couldn't avoid, not knowing why. And then, I didn't really understand much more after that.
Before I could say goodbye to him, he left the room, leaving me feeling stunned with countless questions swirling around in my head. Was Phii Time drunk? Or was he always like this? Or maybe it was...oh my god! I couldn't understand so many things, but I decided that it would be better to just let it go. Some things don't have to be understood, but...
“Why does Phii Time smell so good damn it?!” I accidentally thought about his scent and couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. I didn't know why I couldn't stop, so I just buried my face into the pillow on the sofa and shook my head vigorously to get rid of those thoughts.
“Dammit!”
TBC
Time said you can insult as much as you want, but not too harshly. I couldn't keep up with what was going on! As for Tem, he's quite aware, you know! And if anyone wants to read the next chapter quickly, don't forget to leave some encouragement in the comments!
Chapter 4: Plum Blossom
-Time-
“I poured my heart and soul into this love. If we ever have to part ways for real one day, I would rather die.” those were the words I said on that day. I had been hoping for this love all along because I didn't really want anything else in life, not money, fame, or social status, none of it was really necessary for me. All I wanted was “love.” And when someone like me decides to love someone with all their heart, I won't let them go for anything.
“I have a bad personality, don't I?” And why does everyone always ask why I'm like this and never ask me what happened to me? Why did I become like this?
What is love to me? Possession? Being number one? Being together forever? I guess it's all of those things. I just want to be the most important person in their life and stay together forever, isn't that the basic concept of love? People might say it's childish, but what can you do? Because whoever says that love is not about expectations, I think they've watched too many movies or read too many quotes.
“Because the popular phrase used today says... good love is an unexpected love. I just want to see them, get full and sleep soundly, and wake up happy. You have many expectations in their life.”
“I didn't come from anywhere special. I'm just an ordinary person with both good and bad thoughts mixed together. I never said that I was right, but every action we take has a reason. Even if my reasons may be liked or disliked. That's something that people who meet me will judge for themselves. I don't care, because ultimately, we judge ourselves based on the conflicts within our own hearts. In this world, what is considered right or wrong or the framework of thinking that villagers and city folk use to judge others is something I'm not concerned about.”
Because it's something that normal people don't do?
Because the image in their mind isn't what they thought?
For example, the rich in the country must do gray (semi-illegal) business, those who are cheated on must be pitied, those who are bullied must cry with red eyes, and those who appear strong are always the perpetrators. Appearance doesn't accept people who tend to be viewed as bad.
And of course, everything I do makes me look unsympathetic, even to the person I love the most...
“Should I go call them?” Mew asked me while I stood, hugging my chest, looking at a group of first-year students doing activities under the hall roof inside the university. It was strange for someone like me to be here, not just because there was nothing important to do, but also because of the unfriendly appearance from head to toe. There was no way for someone like me to make it to the activity field of the lunar star faculty. Unless...
“....”
“Is your name Nick?” I walked up to the man whose face and name were unfamiliar to me, then quickly greeted him.
“Yes? Is there a problem?” The person I intended to speak to directly looked at me with suspicion, but I didn't let him be confused for long. I recommended myself calmly while he stared at me with a little sarcasm.
“My name is Tay, Time's boyfriend. Are you familiar with him?” As soon as I said it, the boy did not react harshly, but smiled and slowly opened the water bottle he was holding to drink slowly.
“I am quite familiar.” he teased me with his eyes, causing me to involuntary smile a little bit at something he didn't know.
“Just turned 21 last year, not that young, right?” Mew whispered to me but still made sure that the person named Nick could hear him.
“You probably already know why I'm here...”
“I'm not sure, and...why are you here?” That boy responded. At first, I came to negotiate peacefully just to get out of my life with Time, because from what I knew, they had broken up more than three times and the results were not as expected because they kept getting back together. I will remain indifferent from now on.
“End your relationship with Time.” This was the last chance I reached out to the person in front of me.
“Huh...I'm not really serious, and Phii Time himself said that his boyfriend isn't really serious about this kinda thing.” As soon as it finished speaking, I took a deep breath and took another step closer to him, staring at him intently.
“You're a good guy, you know that. You're simple but you don't have to pretend to be someone else.” I reached out to grab a water bottle and pulled it out of the kid's hand, causing him to look up at me with interest.
“So what do you want then?” It asked firmly.
“Stop messing around with Time.”
“Well, it depends on Phii Time, doesn't it? If I stop messing around and Phii Time doesn't, then you should consider why your boyfriend is sleeping with me.” As soon as the kid finished his sentence, my patience snapped. I grabbed the bottle cap that I had snatched from his hand and threw it into his head, feeling like I couldn't take it anymore. The surrounding sounds exploded in unison as senior and junior students began to come to help.
“Is this enough water? If not, I'll pour more in the morning so that you can see and accept responsibility for what you did.”
“Hey, Nick!!! What the hell did you do to my friend?” His friend started to approach him aggressively. Mr-Mew quickly walked over and stood in front of him, holding his phone that was playing a video clip that they were watching. They all stopped abruptly. Obviously, the members of the popular clique had to maintain their image, and appearance was important to them. Also, Mr-Mew was smart enough not to let anyone easily get to me. I took out my own wallet and pulled out five thousand baht, threw it on the floor, and slapped Nick who was lying there with a bleeding head while speaking sarcastically with a sneer.
“What the hell happened! Hey Nick!...Phii Tay.” I turned to look at the familiar face of Tem. I was surprised to see him here, but then I remembered that he was on the sports faculty. He smiled and greeted me briefly.
People who look like me are always seen as villains. Although everything that happened made me feel this way, those who judge by appearance tend to score those who are weaker with sympathy. That's it!
“What the hell is going on! Damn you Nic! ... Oh, Tem!” My friend, Tem, who was trying to bring up the matter, pulled my arm out of the group.
“Tay, please leave here first. I'll take care of it myself.” I hesitated for a moment and then walked away with Nong Tem. In fact, my business was done. If things got out of control beyond what I could handle, both in the situation and emotionally, I would have to let someone better equipped than me handle it.
“Mom, can you deal with it for me?” I called my mom on the phone and after a few words, I sent her some photos along with the location via LINE. Whatever was bothering me, it would learn its lesson.
Yes, it's wrong, but in a country where it's legal to buy crimes, the rich have more privileges than anyone else. So when I was lucky enough to have everything ready, I just used my own privilege fully. Don't tell anyone if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't do it either...
Yes, it's bad behavior on their part. They shouldn't promise something they don't have the right to do in the first place. Should I be punished for this? Should the country be punished? Or should it be blamed on fate?
“Phii Tay is so sweet.” I smiled and looked at Tem as he handed me a glass of water. I was sitting away from the incident that just happened.
“How are you?” I smiled and took the glass of water, asking Tem.
“I've cleared things up with my friends, and Mew is talking to the teacher.” Tem replied while sitting next to me.
“Sorry about that, Tem. It must have been hard for you.” I smiled at Tem. He was a friend of Porsche, the special bodyguard of Kinn. Their personalities were so different that I never thought they could be friends in the same group. He seemed like someone who didn't have anything, but I felt drawn to him. I couldn't help but look at him with an envious eye.
“He looks like my little brother.” I said to myself. Tay, you are always kind to me. That's all there is to it.” Tem gave me a wide smile.
“Don't forget we're also classmates. We've been in the same class since our sophomore year. The past months have been tough.” Tem picked up a bar of chocolate from his bag and handed it to me, but I declined. He ended up eating it himself.
“Do you have any activities today?” I asked Tem as I watched him do something comfortable. He looked just like my little brother. My little brother was studying in England now, and we hadn't seen each other for months.
“Yes, we have to help train the freshmen and organize university activities.” he said while chewing on the chocolate until it stuck to the corner of his mouth. I reached out to wipe it off.
“Are you one of the activity kids or something? Porsche is never free, and Jom likes to sleep. I keep looking for things to do.”
“Hehe, I'm not feeling lonely. My friend Po is busy and Mr-Jom likes to sleep. I keep looking for something to do.”
“It's good that you'll have lots of friends. I don't really have many friends either, and it can be just as lonely. When I was in high school and college, I only had Mr-Kinn, Mr-Mew, and Mr-Time as friends. Plus, they all had girlfriends since we were in middle school, and now I'm the one with a boyfriend and he's part of our friend group too. But honestly, I still feel lonely sometimes because I don't have many friends, or maybe it's because I have a boyfriend... Hmm, it's something to think about.”
“That's right. Phii Tay's good friend is coming over. PhiiMew is amazing. He really loves you, Phii Tay.” Nong Tem smiled broadly and turned to look at Mew, who was approaching us.
“You take care of me so well.” That's what good friends are for, right? I joked with Mr-Mew before hugging him as he walked near. Then I leaned my head against his stomach and he lightly patted my hair. “Oh... I probably can't go eat with you now, I have some things to take care of at home.” Mr-Mew pretended to lightly punch me on the shoulder.
“Oh, it's okay.” I looked up at Mew and twisted my face in a frown. Should I ask him to call me? Finally, I decided not to.
“It doesn't matter. They won't answer anyway. I'll just go back to myself.” I stood up from the chair and prepared to say goodbye to Tem.
“They might answer. Just try calling them.” Mew said quietly.
“Tem, are you free?” but Mew spoke out of sync first.
“I am free, nothing to do today. I wanted to have dinner with my friend here a bit. Today he didn't want to eat anything, I wonder if he's feeling heavy in his chest.”
Mew patted my hair, which I was about to decline because I was afraid of Tem's feelings. That's enough to make things quite chaotic.
“You can do it. The stress will go away if we eat something delicious together, Phii Tay.” Tem got up and hugged my arm, waiting for me to walk until I secretly smiled like my own little brother because he always brought food to lure me. It's just like that.
“Please take care of him.”
“Let me treat you myself at the restaurant.” I said to my little brother when I saw him sitting stiffly and tensely since entering the restaurant.
“I think we should go find something to eat at the cafeteria again.” Nong Tem whispered to me softly.
“I don't really like a place with a lot of people, and this place is my usual spot. I don't want to bother.” I told him what I was thinking. I drove my car and took Nong Tem to a nearby mall. Our mall is connected to several other malls. Some regular malls and malls only sell luxury brands like this one. The crowd isn't too much here. My friends often come here during our lunch break.
“Then I will sit with you for company.” Nong Tem closed the menu and looked worried.
“Hey! If you come to eat accompanying me, then come on. Come on, let me order for you.” Nong Tem was worried. From the many times I've met him, he always looked comfortable. He didn't look bad, but he was very cute. He chooses colors and clothes that suit him every time, without sticking to brands, and uses simple things that look tasteful. It's really great for a kid who's adjusting to life in a city like this. (He told me that.) I took Nong Tem to a nearby shopping mall where it wasn't too crowded. My friends and I often come here during our lunch break.
“Eat a lot.” I dropped a Caesar salad onto Nong Tem's plate, which looked pale and worried until he couldn't eat anymore.
“It's not my style, I don't like it.” Nong Tem tried to throw away the tomatoes. You can tell he doesn't like them.
“They go well together, just eat the tomato, it's for beautiful skin.” I put another piece of mushroom on top of Nong Tem's plate to tease him. When he made a pouty face, he almost cried like a little child.
“Pasta cream cheese truffle, a great dish.” I put the pasta into my mouth with crispy bread, while Nong Tem adjusted himself and seemed to like this dish that looked familiar. Anyone who eats this dish will love it. Even Time liked it.
“KhunTay, will you send KhunTime home?” The familiar waitress asked as usual.
“Hmm...not really.” I said and frowned, wondering what is Time doing?
I pressed the phone and thought about it. I'm someone who does what I think. If I want to know, I just have to ask...
“Little Auntie, Time? Is he at home?”
That answer to that question came not from him because when I called him, he didn't answer. We've been arguing for three days since the day I asked him to have lunch with my mother and found out about that kid he was fucking on the side. And Time himself, when he has a problem, tends to spend time with himself without answering the phone or replying to messages like now.
[He's here, will you come to the house today?] Time's housekeeper asked, which made me uneasy. If Time wasn't ready to see me, I didn't want to bother him.
“Wait, Tay will tell you again...”
[Nong Tay, don't be angry at Time, Akong and Amma (grandmother) missed you.]
“Okay, I'll tell Akong and Amma (grandmother) I miss them too.”
I sighed and exhaled deeply, seeing Tem taking pictures of the view with his phone non-stop. He was polite enough not to ask me anything or push me to talk about what was bothering me.
“Smile a little, Phii Tay.” Tem stopped taking pictures and turned to face me, with Tay behind him also taking a shot of me.
“Am I fat?” I asked as I leaned in to look at the picture.
“No, no, you're very cute. If you were fat, what would I call you?” Tem teased me and sent me a smiling picture.
“Thank you, Nong. If you have a girlfriend, she will like this picture or maybe come to me for advice first.” I saw that he was a good friend, and I couldn't guess what type of person he liked, but he seemed like someone who would have many suitors. Tem replied with a thoughtful expression, “Asking me for advice isn't because I am good at it, it's because I've made mistakes yourself. You've laughed off the bitterness in your own life.”
“Phii Tay, you are really talented. If it were me, I wouldn't be as good as you.” Tem must have seen the picture of me going to talk to the younger students today.
“I don't know how I became this kind of person...but...when thinking about loving someone, don't rush into it just because they look good. It'll be difficult if you fall in love and things don't work out.”
“Why would it be difficult?”
“We tend to forgive the ones we love unconditionally, and then we won't be at ease.”
“It's because of love, right? We tend to forgive the ones we love without conditions, and I really appreciate love.”
“Tay probably loves you just as much, right?”
“Then why doesn't Time want to talk to me when he's angry?”
“If that's the case, then Phii Time must love you a lot too.”
“Is it because I can endure it?” I asked with a smile, and Tem responded thoughtfully, spooning salad into my plate while still wearing a wide smile, which made me smile too.
---
---
I parted ways with Tem at the restaurant, where he insisted on going back to his team's vehicle since he had some errands to run. I decided to follow his lead and went back to the penthouse by myself, trying to find something to do to cure my boredom and restlessness. This wasn't the first time Time and I had fought like this, but it happened frequently throughout our relationship. And as I counted, I realized that forgiving Time was always the only option, even though it was sometimes unbearable. But no matter what kind of person Time was or how much he hurt me because it was him, everything was conditional on his happiness.
“No matter how sad I am, as long as Time is by my side like this, I am content.”
.
- Noon of the following day -
“Hello, would you like to take a look at these rings? This tray is particularly beautiful.” I was working at the new gold couture house where I came from today, and during the noon and afternoon hours, there were especially many people. The employees here know me well. Actually, the new owner doesn't let me work anymore. They're afraid that I'll cause trouble, but I think it's fun.
“Little Auntie, what are we eating for lunch?” And then the familiar voice became louder. I looked at the figure that stopped a little and saw me, but he walked out of the store normally.
“In the kitchen, Nong Time.” Time paused to greet the housekeeper and was about to go back inside the house.
“I'll bring some pasta cream, it's right in the microwave.” I spoke without looking at the customers who were choosing gold, so Time walked away.
“Do you want to see the ring?” I was pulling out the tray of rings for the customer to see, but my coworker reached out and took the tray instead.
“Tay, you go eat with Time. Please go, I'll sell it myself.” My coworker pushed me toward Time, and said, “Go ahead, I am really worried, I see both of you arguing.”
I accepted it and tried to gather the courage to talk to him. Normally, we take turns giving in to each other, but when it's my turn to start, I feel nervous every time, and he still doesn't seem interested in talking to me.
“Amma (grandmother)! What are we eating? Eat well.” I walked into the house and saw Time playing with Amma (grandmother).
“Amma (grandmother), I bought some salted chicken, but it's not good. It's bitter.” I saw Time smile immediately, and Amma (grandmother) seemed to see it too. “Talk to your brother for a bit. Tay really loves him. Go on, go talk. Auntie Maa is going upstairs to watch TV.” When Auntie Maa saw me, she welcomed me warmly from the start. She's an open-minded person who likes me and loves Time because he's her only grandson.
“...” I heard Time exhale heavily as appropriate, and before he got up and stood up, he opened the bread box and was about to leave the kitchen.
“...” I followed him out, but he didn't answer me and was about to walk upstairs.
“Time... Time!!” I grabbed both his arms and turned his face to face.
“Why don't you wait to eat the pasta?” I followed him out, but he didn't answer me and was about to walk upstairs.
“...” Time closed his eyes and turned his head in another direction, releasing my hand from his arm.
“Is that all? Are you going to break up with me?” I said with the utmost patience.
“Can I break up with you?!” Time stomped his foot and his words hit me hard.
“If you talk like that, does that mean you really want to break up with me?!” I just stared at him silently and kept talking to him without caring about anything.
“And then what did you do, Tay?” Time cursed and pointed at me, his face distorted with anger.
“What did I do?” I was so angry that I couldn't control my emotions, despite trying to calm down. I wanted to cry out in frustration, but the words wouldn't come out.
“You insulted me in front of my mother’s face...”
“My mother knows the truth, okay...”
“Why are you like this, you bastard! When will you stop hurting other people's feelings? Not to mention what you did yesterday!!”
“And if you hadn't slept with that bastard first, I wouldn't have had to do that!”
“I told you nothing was going on!! Have you ever believed me?!”
“Do you know what he said to me?!” I spoke with intense emotion, making Time unhappy and he turned to the left and right as if he wanted to vent his anger.
“He said I should consider it myself!! Why did you sleep with him!!!'' I continued to shout with emotion and tried to make Time turn to see my face, which was now the most furious it had ever been!
“Fuck!”
Pleng! Pleng
Mr-Time brushed off the flowers and frames from us, hitting the ground until the glass shattered into pieces, without paying attention to the scared looks of the housekeeper and gardeners who were all around us at the moment.
“.....”
“I'm so angry!! Do you think I want to be a crazy person running around like this?!” But for me, I had no fear whatsoever. My emotions were at their peak and wouldn't subside, even as I saw Time turn to face the wall. I couldn't control my explosive emotions.
“You started it!! You made me into this kind of person, Time!! Do you hear me?!! How could you do this to me?!” I bit my lip so hard that it hurt, wanting to cry out, but the words wouldn't come. I was pained and frustrated. The pain felt like something had hit my left chest, and it never subsided no matter how long passed.
“If you're going to insult me like that, then leave me! Get out of my house!!!”
“...”
“...”
As soon as those words left Time's mouth, we turned to face each other for a brief moment, the atmosphere around us boiling over and then quickly quieting down. My body froze from head to toe, and anything I felt disappeared into emptiness. It was like time had stopped, and everything around me was silent, lacking vitality. Everything in my life went completely still like a switch had been turned off.
I finally realized what had happened. I ran out of the house without paying attention to anyone calling out to me. Tears that hadn't flowed for so long were now streaming down my face, and I felt wet all over. There was no sound, no commotion, only a serene emptiness seeping out. And I didn't know how to stop it.
-The Tea House-
Two hours later, I sat at the tea shop not far from Time's house. This was a place where the elderly came to play cards, and it was always quiet. It was a peaceful oasis compared to the turmoil of my encounters with Time.
“Tay, you have been sitting here for two hours, I'm worried. Would you like to say anything?” The serving auntie sound didn't quite reach me, so I just kept staring at the wall with the old Chinese paintings, wondering what was in front of me.
I don't know what I should feel beforehand. Sad? I already am. Depressed? It's something I've grown used to. Broken? If I were a rock. Right now, I'm more worn down than a grain of sand, or maybe shocked? Yes...I must be shocked by Time's words just now. Throughout our time together, Time knew exactly what I feared the most...
I'm afraid that Time will kick me out, afraid that he will no longer want me, and scared that he won't stay by my side anymore.
Yes, I'm frightened. I am frightened for no reason besides fear...
“Here's your tea, Tay.” The fragrant aroma of the hot drink wafted towards me, and I couldn't help but glance over at the cup of tea decorated with beautiful sunflowers and flowers.
“What kind of flower is that?” I asked absentmindedly.
“It's a chrysanthemum...the Chinese believe it's a strong and hardy flower. Tay's always been tough and never cried. He just drinks and drinks.”
“What should I order for my boyfriend to drink?”
That familiar voice sounded from the front of the shop, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I faced my growing fear. “whatever you put in, Tay's stomach will end up upset.” Time walked over and sat next to me, and I could see his face much clearer now.
“Whatever you want, I don't mind. Just tell me.”
“Bring a hot glass of water with lemon, please.” I ordered.
“Are you going to find someone else and dump me?”
“You know I am not myself when I speak without thinking.” Time didn't reply, but he looked at me. I didn't respond and shifted my gaze back to the Chinese paintings on the wall.
“Why do you always run to this place when you're upset? You know the food here isn't good.” Time picked up his cup of tea and drank it nonchalantly.
“Next time...I'll flee farther away.” I spoke hoarsely before Time's thumb reached up to wipe away the tears from my cheek. At that moment, I turned to face him and stared into his eyes. “I'll find you even if it takes forever.” I said quietly, as tears continued to flow down my cheeks.
“I won't let you go.”
“Even if you beg and plead. I wouldn't forgive you.”
I won't forgive you… one day, Time. I hoped that someday we could talk about it.
TBC
#TimeTimeTemChapter 4.
I hoped that our Tay would be strong enough, and Phii Time would understand. Nong Tem would have to stay strong too. Don't forget to like and comment, it's encouraging for us all. Thank you to everyone who's been a part of us. We'll keep updating frequently.
Time TimeTem Story .