[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 9: I know he’s evil
Me and Bing’s eyes widened.
“Phii Teo! Are you crazy?” Bing exclaimed.
“Yeah, I’ve gone mad! If anyone can still sit here and go crazy with fright, go ahead, but I can’t. If there’s no way out at all, I’d rather fight knowing I’m fighting, than sit here waiting for something to come eat my head. How can a whole person just disappear? It must be because of this house! If we can’t get Thaen and Namwa back, I won’t stop looking, I won’t abandon them!!”
I remembered the time when I was bound by tree roots underground, feeling like I was suffocating. What if Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa are going through the same thing right now? I took a deep breath, “I can’t let that happen either.”
Phii Teo squeezed my shoulder, “So, we’re doing this together, right?”
“If you’re in, then I’m in. Two heads are better than one.”
To be honest, I don’t trust this house any more than Phii Teo does. It’s full of mysterious and complicated twists and turns. Even if deep down I might think Khun Mas isn’t the culprit, Bing’s words have made it impossible for me to dismiss all doubts. Although Khun Mas seems to show me some kindness - which was when I told him about his father and proved my sincerity to him - before that, he did something to me that could kill, right? There’s no reason for him to be kind to guys like Phii Thaen.
Even if Khun Mas didn’t do it, he should still have answers for me.
When we agreed, Phii Teo and I didn’t hesitate. We were both anxious about the fate of those who disappeared. We stood face to face beside the bed where Theeya slept from the bottle in hand, sharing it, ready to step into the mysterious and terrifying journey waiting for us once our eyelids closed.
“Looks like you guys are about to commit suicide.” Bing said with a grimace. He was forbidden to do what I and Phii Teo were about to do. Bing was to watch over us from this side, and if anything seemed off, he would have to wake us up.
“Don’t be overdramatic.” Phii Teo clicked his tongue, “I’m only taking a couple of pills, not a handful.”
“Ready, Phii?” I asked Phii Teo.
He responded firmly, “Let’s do this.”
We both took the pills and drank water, then lay down on the bed. Bing turned off the main light, leaving only the desk lamp on for a calm atmosphere suitable for sleep and waiting for the medication to take effect.
Bing dragged a chair next to the bed. He sat down and said to us with a tense expression, “Be careful, guys.”
I closed my eyes, trying to calm my mind and focus on my desire to meet Khun Mas. The sound of the rain outside the window was a repetitive natural melody lulling my body to relax. I drifted into a daze and eventually fell asleep.
The wind howled, strong enough to slam the window shut, waking me up. When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing in a field outside. It was dark and cold around me, rain misting my face, grass swaying in the wind. Phii Teo and I stood side by side. Together, we looked towards the colonial house in the distance, which looked gloomy under the heavy gray sky, making it hard to tell if it was day or night. Everything felt oppressive, the atmosphere akin to the end of the world.
“Scary as hell, is this what you’ve been facing all along?” Phii Teo’s voice trembled with fear. “Can I handle this?”
I kept my mouth shut because I had nothing good to reply to him, my heart was trembling but with a tinge of excitement. Before Phii Teo and I could say anything more, a light suddenly illuminated the stairwell, flickering like it came from a lantern. I inhaled sharply with excitement as it moved towards the lower hall.
The light was the only beacon in the midst of the surrounding blur. While the rest of the house was just shadowy and untrustworthy, the curtains on the upper floor moved as if someone had slightly opened them. My arm hairs stood on end; this house seemed to be inhabited by numerous spirits.
“Phii Teo. I think that might be...” I could only get that much out before realizing I was standing alone amidst the wind and rain...where had Phii Teo gone!
I turned this way and that, my heart pounding. I didn’t know what was happening, but it was clear I had to face whatever was happening here alone. I took a deep breath, stepping forward in an attempt to muster my courage. Raindrops clung to my face, dripping from my chin. Ahead lay the old, mysterious mansion, but since I had come this far, I had to press on.
The light moved until it reached the door of the lower hall. I stood on the lawn, watching with a racing heart. The door opened, and the tall figure of the young heir to the house stepped out onto the porch.
...Khun Mas
He held a lantern in one hand, looking at me with a stern expression.
“What are you doing?” His tone was harsh, clearly unhappy to see me.
“I should be the one asking questions. What kind of crazy game is this house playing with us? Where have you taken my friends?”
His face, lit by the lantern, looked intense. Khun Mas placed the lantern on the porch rail before descending the steps through the cold, damp drizzle towards me.
We stood face to face amidst the howling wind, the atmosphere heavy with tension.
“Say it again.” He said first.
“Two of my friends have gone missing, and no matter where I look, I can’t find them. I need to know where they are.”
“So you come to demand answers from me?” His voice was icy, like a stab straight to the bone, “Khen...how dare you.”
“And what have you done then? If you didn’t do it, you should be able to tell me where my friend is. I know you know everything that happens here. Otherwise, how could you have saved me from being buried alive under that tree?”
“What tree?” His brows furrowed in confusion.
His demeanor was unsettling, “That big tree. I was sinking into the ground, and you used that axe to save me. Preventing that woman from controlling me further.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. True, I helped you get out of that room, but how could the tree you’re talking about be in my house?”
“I...” I was confused...Why would he say that?
Khun Mas spoke in a deep voice, “You’ve accused me time and again of things I haven’t done. Your accusations are as repulsive as your face. You dare accuse me, even though you are the one who intruded into my house.”
“I’m not daring.” I said, trying to steady my trembling hands, “I’m scared of you, and of everyone else in your house, but I have no choice. My friends are missing. Now I don’t know if they’re dead or alive. I can’t just leave them like this.”
I glanced up at the house, looming darkly under the overcast sky, with flashes of lightning occasionally illuminating it, creating an eerie atmosphere. I realized how truly scared I was beneath the facade of courage I had built up.
Khun Mas looked at me with sharp, piercing eyes, “Do you hear yourself, Khen? Don’t you find it somewhat amusing?”
I looked at him without understanding.
“I’ll jog your memory.” He stared into my eyes, “You’ve told me repeatedly that you were imprisoned and needed to escape this loop, but when it happened, you’re not satisfied. What exactly do you want?”
I blinked, my mind processing the information quickly. My eyes widened as my perspective flipped. We had been convinced that Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa were captured and hidden from us, but perhaps it was the opposite. It was us who were still stuck here, but Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa...they had escaped!
“Does that mean...” I stammered, my voice uncertain, “They’ve escaped from here?”
“I only know they’re not here.” He said.
I stepped closer to Khun Mas, impulsively grabbing his sleeve, “You’re telling the truth, right? Can I trust you?”
Khun Mas glanced at my hand clutching his sleeve firmly as if seeking support. He spoke softly, “Believe in your own heart, Khen.”
His demeanor calmed the fiery emotions I had felt earlier, and then embarrassment crept in. I realized how poorly I had behaved. I stammered, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been rude to you.”
Khun Mas turned his gaze away, his expression a mix of concern, irritation, and a hint of empathy. He said, “Leave then.”
His voice was even, without anger. I was at a loss, just standing there looking at him as the wind howled around us, sounding like a wail. My body trembled with a tumult of feelings, and Khun Mas seemed to sense my confusion. He moved closer and raised one hand.
“Close your eyes.” He said gently, “Don’t be swayed by what’s around you right now, but think of another place, somewhere you feel safe.”
Khun Mas placed his hand lightly over my eyelids; his palm was cool and damp from the rain, but when it touched my skin, warmth spread. I closed my eyes, and my heart calmed as if comforted.
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself standing in the bedroom on the second floor of the colonial house, but it was a bizarre sight. It was as if I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay in the past or return to the present, so I ended up with both.
I looked around in awe; it was like overlapping two film negatives. One depicted Khun Mas’s era, while the other was the present day. The ancient wooden bed stood prominently, along with an antique wardrobe and a vanity with perfumes on it. But next to the vanity was my work desk, cluttered with my laptop and various personal items. The light from an oil lamp mingled with the soft glow from the ceiling lamp. Why would anyone need to light a lamp if there was electricity?
But what was most shocking wasn’t all that. I slowly tilted my head to the side, taking a sharp breath when I realized that my hand was still holding onto something. I traced my gaze from my arm up to the shoulder and the smooth, pale face.
Khun Mas...he was here with me.
“How did you do it?” I asked.
“How did you do it?”
“Is it because of both of us, or...because this is my dream?”
I let go of his arm and stepped forward. Everything around was so bizarre; the curtains seemed to compete to show which era they belonged to, clear in some areas and overlapping in others. His bed, my desk, everything was tangible, but sometimes the image wavered as if we had to grasp it quickly before it faded away.
Khun Mas seemed just as astonished as I was. He looked around with interest. I spoke up, “Khun Mas, you remember this is the same room, your bedroom and the room where you often see me working...Oh! Wait a minute.”
I exclaimed as I remembered. I grabbed Khun Mas’s arm and pulled him towards the desk.
“You have to see this, it’s very important, because I’ve wanted you to see it for a long time.” I touched the laptop on the desk, which lit up immediately, “This is my laptop, the one I told you about, where I type up work-related information about this house.”
He let out a soft, “Oh.” in his throat, “Like a typewriter.”
I also remembered there was a typewriter in his father’s study, with keys in English, which looked quite strange.
“Yes, similar, but much more versatile. It’s been developed far beyond just putting letters on paper. In fact, it’s like you can keep a library inside it, create other forms of art beyond just text, as long as you choose to use the tools in the right software. I’ll show you.”
Luckily, I used a fingerprint scanner. Otherwise, if I had to type in the password, we’d be stuck here. You wouldn’t see anything because in most dreams, people can’t complete dialing a phone number, or even do simple addition, because dreams make it hard to focus on multiple things at once.
Khun Mas didn’t say anything. He just looked at me with a mix of wonder and curiosity, as if I were some fascinating oddity. I didn’t blame him; remember, he lived in an era before electricity even reached Chiang Mai.
“In my time.” I continued to explain, “We hardly send letters anymore. Instead, we use something called email, short for electronic mail, as a communication tool instead. Suppose I want to send you documents or pictures. If you have a computer too, you’d receive them instantly, even if we’re on different sides of the world, but if we’re in different worlds, well, I’m not so sure about that. Never tried it.”
I tried to make a joke, but then realized it probably wasn’t very funny. If I were a ghost, I might not find it funny either. I cleared my throat lightly and quickly got to the point before we strayed off-topic. I clicked into the folder where I kept all the information related to my work on the house.
“Here, this is where I’ve compiled information about this house.” I clicked into the file containing reference materials, “These are books and photos of your father that were published after your family moved to England.”
I showed him, and Khun Mas looked on with interest. The content detailed the history and stories of the owners of this colonial house. He scanned each line until he came to a photograph of Thomas and his wife.
“My father and mother.” He said softly, his eyes full of tenderness, “I’ve never seen this picture.”
He gently touched the image as if afraid it might shatter. “Could I read the text in this book again?”
“Of course.” I went back to the beginning. Khun Mas read through it once more, as if trying to engrave every detail into his memory. His father had survived World War I, and the family had reunited.
For a moment, I wondered if this would bring him peace and allow him to move on to the afterlife, if this would be the last time I would meet him. The thought brought a pang of unexpected sadness, and I was surprised by my own reaction.
Khun Mas paused for a moment after finishing reading. He spoke, “Is this the truth, Khen?”
“Absolutely true, it’s a book that was published after your family traveled to England.”
Khun Mas nodded slightly, the gentleness in his expression and the small smile on his lips softened my heart. This was the right thing. He shouldn’t have to linger here as a restless spirit, bound by unresolved emotions.
Khun Mas turned his gaze towards me, and seeing that I was watching, he smiled. We looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. If there had been any tension between us before, it was now dispelled. Beyond the absence of anger or resentment, something else had formed. In my feelings, I sensed it was a connection, albeit new and fragile like something just beginning, but I knew it was sincere and endearing.
“Thank you very much.” He said.
“I’m really happy. It’s beyond my expectations. I just hoped this house would continue to be taken care of. I didn’t think we could do more than that.”
Khun Mas made a soft, acknowledging sound in his throat, and that encouraged me to ask the next question, “So...can we consider ourselves friends now?”
“Friends, you say?” He tilted his head slightly as if he was uncertain, “You and me? I never thought such a thing would happen.”
“Then can it happen now? Just a moment ago, you seemed to agree that I’ve been quite useful, so why wouldn’t you want to be friends?”
“You’re always so thoughtful and meticulous.”
I couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or sarcasm, but I decided to take it as a compliment. I bit my lip nervously, “So...does that mean we can be friends?”
“Maybe.”
I smiled to myself; his answer sounded like a compromise, but it was indeed an acceptance, just with a hint of reserve. If he wasn’t willing to accept, I would have known from his clear, sometimes quite fierce, rejection.
Khun Mas turned his attention back to my laptop. It was quite amusing and cute to see him awkwardly wondering where to touch it, showing great interest but not knowing where to start.
“What are these things?” He pointed at the screen.
“These are called files, used as their name suggests, like folders for documents. But they’re not physical books or papers we can touch; they’re stored as data in this device. Let me show you. Here’s one from when I first arrived here, so you can see how I work.”
I opened a draft article I had typed up for him to see. Khun Mas leaned in closer. He read with interest, while I was more interested in sneaking looks at his face. Though I wasn’t very adept at it since he was too close, risking getting caught, Khun Mas smelled so good. What kind of detergent or fabric softener does he use? It’s a clean, inviting scent that makes you want to bury your face in his shirt. I wonder if other ghosts smell this nice.
As I was indulging in my slightly mischievous imagination, I noticed that suddenly Khun Mas’s demeanor changed; his hand on the table stiffened, his eyes fixed on the words while his lips pressed together. I immediately turned to look at the computer screen, only to have my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
...Curse
I completely forgot I had written something like that.
“Khen...” Khun Mas’s voice sounded forced, “Is that what you think happened here? You called me...a ghost of a foreign child who died in this house!”
“I’m sorry!” I closed my eyes tightly and raised my hands in apology, “I didn’t mean it, please forgive me. At that time, I didn’t know you, so I just pieced together information haphazardly. I was wrong. Please don’t be mad.”
Khun Mas took a deep breath, clearly trying to suppress his emotions. I quickly closed that page, “Let’s look at something else instead.”
He stepped back slightly, his expression showing he was still annoyed. I frantically searched for something else to offer him, maybe some news articles or brochures.
Khun Mas watched my hands move back and forth, seeming agile but actually trying to escape blame. He sighed softly before pointing at the screen, “What’s that? It looks more unusual than the last one.”
“Oh, that’s...” My words trailed off when I saw where he was pointing.
It was a file named ‘KiminoTo’, my eyes widened even more than before. I tried to deflect immediately, “That’s nothing interesting, let me show you something else.”
But then Khun Mas moved his hand to touch mine, and I froze.
“I want to see this.” His voice was very gentle, but I knew it could cut deeper than a knife.
“There’s nothing interesting or related to the story of this house.”
“Are you sure? Or are you hiding more harsh words about me that you’re too scared to show?”
“Really, Khun Mas, it’s not.” My voice was weak, “It’s not even text.”
“If it’s not, then you have to prove it.”
“Khun Mas...”
“Open it.”
There was no escape left. I shakily moved my hand to press play while my mouth kept chattering away in hopes that it might ease the tension or divert his attention to something else.
“Uh...it’s a moving picture, a clip from a movie made in my time. It’s in color, not black and white or silent like in your era, but this one has content that’s a bit risqué. Consider it a form of art. Actually, I have other movie files that might be more interesting, like those about history or...”
It didn’t work at all; Khun Mas was fixated on what was beginning to display on the screen. I sighed in defeat, “Khun Mas asked to see it himself, so don’t blame me later.”
It was a clip cut from a BL (Boys’ Love) series I really liked, showing the moment after both protagonists had confessed their feelings for each other. To be clear...it was a love scene.
Really, it wasn’t overly explicit. There was no headboard banging or anything wildly passionate. It was more tender and suggestive, with the actors performing beautifully. Whether it was the light kisses on the lips followed by more passionate ones, the gentle touching of chests, arms, or hands sneaking under clothes leaving things to the imagination through the movement on screen, accompanied by soft breathing and quiet moans.
The clip was only two minutes long, but those two minutes felt like an eternity. My toes curled so tightly they almost cramped, while Khun Mas’s face grew redder with every passing second.
The clip ended. I closed the tab. We sat there in awkward silence for a moment before I awkwardly asked, “Is there anything else you’d like to see or ask?”
“Why do you keep this kind of movie on your device?”
“It...” I swallowed, then answered truthfully, “It’s my sexual preference. I like men.”
I turned to look at him, affirming my words. In my previous life, I always had to carefully consider my words whenever it came to this topic; it was both frustrating and tiring. I was sick of avoiding the truth to prevent issues at work or in life, or to preserve whatever it might be, but this is my dream. If people still had to lie even in their own dreams, it would be too much.
Khun Mas spoke, “Do you think I would judge you for this?”
He stepped back and moved towards the window. The full moon shone brightly in the sky outside, making the scene look strangely beautiful, “I must admit, you surprise me more each time we meet, but not more than the wonders this new world holds.”
Regardless of what he meant by that, it did bring me some relief. I lowered my gaze and squeezed my own hands, thankful that this dream wasn’t too bad.
“Humans are complex. Whether alive or dead.” He said, “Do you agree with me?”
“Yes.”
I stood up and walked over to him.
We stood at opposite sides of the window frame, looking out at the deep blue sky, where almost no stars could compete with the moon’s light.
“Have you ever wondered what lies on the other side of the moon?”
“I haven’t even fully understood this side yet.”
I chuckled softly, loving the moments when he allowed himself to be carefree, not weighed down by heavy thoughts. The breeze was gentle. I looked far into the distance and sighed softly, wishing this night could last long enough for us to talk about many more things. The moon tonight looked particularly beautiful; it wasn’t full, but there was a slight crescent, indicating it was a waning moon.
Suddenly, my brain snapped like it had been shocked. I jolted, stepping back from the window.
Khun Mas turned to look at me in surprise. I gasped as it happened again in my head, a sharp, intense pain, making my vision blur. I raised my hand to clutch my head, the pain feeling like my skull was about to split. I stumbled back against the wall.
Khun Mas stepped towards me, reaching out, “Khen. What’s wrong?”
I looked up at him, the sight causing my heart to race with fear, as if looking through water flowing over glass, but tinged with deep red like blood. I reached out to him in fear, but as my fingertips touched his cold skin, everything shattered into fragments.
I let out a scream like a madman.
Snap!
“Phii Khen...Phii Khen! Wake up now!”
The call and a slap to my cheek, followed by a shake, made me open my eyes with a start.
I sat up abruptly, sweat beading my forehead, with Bing and Phii Teo beside me, both looking at me with concern and full of questions.
“How long have I been asleep?” My voice was hoarse.
Bing handed me a bottle of water, “About an hour or so. Me and Phii Teo were watching over you. At first, you were sleeping peacefully, but later you started thrashing around a lot and even screamed, which was scary. I had to wake you up. What did you dream about, Phii Khen?”
Instead of answering the question, I wiped the sweat from my face and turned to Phii Teo, “What did you dream about?”
Phii Teo hesitated, “I don’t know.”
Bing continued for him, “Phii Teo fell asleep for a while, then woke up with a start and couldn’t remember what he dreamed about.”
I drank almost the entire bottle because my throat was so dry. The images from my dream were still vivid. I looked at Bing and Phii Teo, who were still waiting for my recount. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself.
“Listen, both of you, it might not be what we thought.”
I took a long time to narrate what had happened. Both Win and Phii Teo were excited; Win grabbed my arm and asked quickly, “Really, Phii Khen! Did Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa really escape?”
I shook my head, “I don’t know, but he said they’re not here.”
“Can we trust him?” Bing whispered, “The ghost of the house owner’s son.”
“I trust him.”
My firm reply prevented Bing from probing further on that point, but he turned eagerly to analyze other aspects. The knowledge that there was still a way to escape from here was a beacon of hope. Even Phii Teo, who still seemed dazed from the effects of the drug, had a spark in his eyes.
“How did Thaen and Namwa do it? What techniques did they use? What method did they use to break the loop?” Phii Teo asked.
“No one can answer that, unless Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa find a way to come back and tell us.” Bing replied, “But would they be able to get back here again?”
Phii Teo looked horrified, “If it were me, I wouldn’t come back, damn it...Who would want to be here twice? If you don’t die from a ghost breaking your neck, you’ll die from going mad. I don’t blame them for escaping. I’m actually happy they got out.”
“We need to find a way for ourselves.” I chimed in, “Don’t count on Phii Thaen and Phii Namwa for hope. Remember, those two found a way out, so why can’t we?”
“You’re right.” Phii Teo raised his thumb in agreement.
We looked at each other with renewed hope, our spirits lifting once more. We discussed and analyzed together, trying to figure out potential ways we could attempt.
Time passed with the exchange of ideas until Wing started yawning and Phii Teo’s eyes began to droop. I suggested, “Maybe we should get some rest now, and continue our discussion tomorrow on what to do next.”
They agreed. Phii Teo arranged some blankets to make a bed beside the bed for Wing and me to sleep on. We left a light on for reassurance, the talking quieted down, and Phii Teo started snoring just half a minute after his head hit the pillow. Bing and I lay quietly beside each other, each lost in our thoughts. I didn’t know what Bing was thinking about, but my thoughts kept circling back to what happened in the dream earlier.
It wasn’t a nightmare. Even though the ending was terrible, the middle part of the dream was quite fun and colorful. I remembered the sharp, handsome face that turned red with embarrassment upon seeing something unexpected.
I turned to face the wall, hiding a smile...What have I done, showing a risqué clip to an ancient spirit haunting this house?
...I hope I didn’t break his heart.
The next morning. We woke up refreshed and full of hope. We went downstairs to have breakfast on the lawn in front of the house. Today, Aunt Jiam has prepared chicken biryani with fragrant fried chicken drumsticks, three-colored rice cakes topped with pumpkin, spring onions, and purple yam. It wasn’t luxurious, but it was delicious.
Phii Teo decided to drive around today to see if he could find any clues. Bing wanted to go along, but I asked to be dropped off at the entrance of the alley.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Phii Teo asked, biting into a rice cake, “If I find a way out, I’m going to take it, no turning back.”
“Then just send an email to let us know.” I said with a smile. Honestly, I didn’t think driving around Chiang Mai would provide answers. There wasn’t any solid reasoning behind it. I just felt that the root of our problem was much closer to home.
“Could it be, bro, that the secret exit keeps changing places?” Wing speculated.
“Why are you cutting off our hope?” Phii Teo snapped irritably.
So, we decided to drive out together after breakfast. I went upstairs again to grab my stuff to take outside, thinking about sitting in a coffee shop somewhere, partly to change the atmosphere, but also to reflect on my own behavior. While picking up my wallet from the table, I glanced out the window.
Outside was the backyard field.
The grass swayed with the breeze, looking refreshingly cool. A thought crossed my mind: why don’t we search for an exit there? For Bing and Phii Teo, it might be because they walked all over yesterday and didn’t want to do it again, but for me, it wasn’t that reason. It was something else I can’t quite put into words; I just knew I was scared.
Just thinking about it, a chill ran up my arms. I quickly gathered my things and went downstairs to join Bing and Phii Teo who were waiting.
I chose a coffee shop at Angkaew Lake in CMU as today’s destination.
The atmosphere around Angkaew Lake was serene and cool, the water sparkled under the soft sunlight, and the breeze was just right for the late rainy, early winter season. Even though it was late morning, there were still people exercising, foreigners sitting in groups under coconut trees and on the slope leading down to the lower field, with a winding road cutting through.
I sat with my legs stretched out comfortably under the shade outside the coffee shop, sipping cocoa, letting the cool wind take my thoughts. The atmosphere was so nice, I felt like staying there all day. I took out my phone and headphones to listen to some music.
I opened my playlist but then changed my mind, deciding to try a different genre, one I wouldn’t normally listen to in a coffee shop. I typed ‘Lao Duen Ngoen’, and found out it was actually the same song as ‘Lao Duang Duen’, but called ‘Lao Duang Duen’ because the lyrics start with “Oh, the moon...”
The history of this song is quite poignant yet sweet and touching. It stemmed from the longing of Prince Phra Ong Chao Phenphatthapong, son of King Chulalongkorn, during his visit to Chiang Mai where he fell in love with Princess Chamchuen, a noble from the northern region. Their love began purely but was unfulfilled due to political reasons, forcing them to separate, leaving them to express their longing through this song.
I pressed play, the sound of traditional Thai music filled my ears beautifully. I leaned back, closing my eyes, the melody was enchanting, and the lyrics even more so.
“Oh, Nuan-taa,
I love you so deeply, as deep as my heart,
Oh, it’s fate that we must part,
My heart longs for you, my dear moon.”
How sweet, my heart feels enchanted by the lyrics of the song, making me think of someone who once called me ‘Duangduan’ even though his name also means ‘moon’. He once said that our world can only have one moon. True enough, but I think we might be the same moon, just on different sides - one shining brightly, always facing the world, and the other in darkness, turning its back to the world.
I thought of Khun Mas’s handsome, dream-inducing face, and my mind wandered to the unresolved matters in my heart...the fact that he couldn’t see that large tree, even though its roots were entwining my body, prevented me from escaping.
I bit my lip, recalling all that has happened since I stepped into this house. Every time I encountered Khun Mas, it always happened at that house, either inside or around it, but when I was possessed by whatever emanated from the farthest corner room downstairs, where the spirit of that woman resides, the visions I saw had different details.
The old, abandoned house I saw when encountering the woman’s spirit wasn’t the Western-style house with the big tree. The young woman sitting in front of the dressing table, the feeling of utmost discomfort and solitude, as if it was pulling me into a different story, but there was only one point of connection - that room downstairs.
Why is that? It’s as if both of them have recorded and ingrained different stories within themselves.
The hair on my arms stood up when I thought of the word ‘limbo,’ or a place after death where souls remain, unable to proceed to either heaven or hell. Before, I thought limbo might be an empty, desolate void, filled with endless loneliness. Perhaps it could be an endless expanse of sand dunes stretching far beyond sight, or an endless expanse of water reflecting the blue sky and clouds, depending on how one might imagine it, but the commonality would be that there would be one soul eternally waiting for something.
But I might be wrong, because no one who has truly died has come back to tell us where they went after life ended. Each person’s limbo could be different. Maybe...what I saw might be their afterlife, both Khun Mas and that woman, each trapped in a prison of their own memories, circling within them.
The area of the Western-style house is Khun Mas’s limbo. As for the places and things I encountered outside of this, when that woman dragged me into the puzzle room downstairs, that was her limbo.
This thought made me jump up, gather my things, and rush back to the Western-style house immediately.
The Western-style house looked serene and pleasant in the daylight, surrounded by large trees, the lawn a vibrant green under the sun. Bing and Phii Teo hadn’t returned yet, which was good because right now, I had something else I wanted to do more than meet or talk with those two. I walked leisurely up to the bedroom, placed my things on the table, and sat down in the chair.
My eyes glanced over the scattered items nearby. I didn’t really want to do this, but I wanted to fall asleep as quickly as possible. I picked up the bottle of sleeping pills, opened it, and poured some pills into my hand, increasing the usual dose to ensure I’d fall asleep fast.
After washing them down with water, I took out my mobile phone and started playing some music - light, relaxing instrumental pieces. After a while, the pills began to take effect, my eyelids grew heavy, I nodded off a couple of times, before finally slumping forward onto the table.
When I opened my eyes again, I was in his bedroom.
Him...referring to Khun Mas.
Khun Mas was standing at the dressing table, turning to look at me with a surprised expression. I was equally shocked because he wasn’t fully dressed; in fact, it looked like he was in the middle of putting on his shirt, (thankfully, he had his pants on), the shirt collar still stuck around his upper arms, revealing a moderately muscular upper back. I was flustered, not knowing which way to turn, unable to leave through the door for fear someone might be outside. Eventually, I decided to take quick steps towards the bed and stood facing away from him.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to show up at this time.” I said.
Khun Mas didn’t respond. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or embarrassed. I stood feeling awkward, looking out the window where the sky was a light blue with a hint of orange, indicating it was dusk.
I stood there, my heart racing, listening to the soft rustling sounds. After a while, Khun Mas spoke, “Turn around.”
I turned to face him, letting out a relieved sigh, only to be left speechless at the sight of him.
Khun Mas looked like he had stepped out of a movie poster from “The Great Gatsby” or a series like “Downton Abbey.” He looked incredibly handsome in a dinner suit for a gala, white shirt with a black bow tie, black jacket, and trousers. Remember how I described his physique? Tall and distinguished, and with this attire, he was even more impressive. I could hardly look at him without being overwhelmed; I wanted to address him as ‘Lord’ something to match his level of attractiveness.
“Khun Mas is...um, do you have any business to attend to?” I stuttered out the question.
“Yes.”
I hesitated, feeling flustered. “If you’re going out, what should I do? Is it a social event? I mean...may I wait?”
“Do you have business with me?”
“Yes, there are several things I’d like to discuss with you.”
“You’ve come at an inconvenient time. Tonight, we have a party in the main dining room.”
My eyes widened, “There’s a party here?”
“It’s an event among close friends who are familiar with each other, but there are still quite a few guests. Originally, I didn’t want to host it here, but I couldn’t refuse my close friends.”
I bit my lip, my mind working quickly to find a reason to support what I wanted. I could picture the dining room he mentioned, located on the ground floor of the house, a spacious hall with doors opening to the veranda and stairs leading down to the flower garden.
“Then...can I wait for you here? Until you’re done with your business and come back up? I promise to behave. I won’t make any noise to attract attention at all.”
He looked at me as if he was weighing his decision. I glanced around for something additional to help my case; I couldn’t go back empty-handed like this. I quickly pointed to a set of tables and chairs against one wall.
“I’ll sit in that chair over there, stay quiet, even if my legs cramp up, I won’t move.”
“It seems that won’t work.”
“Huh...” I felt disheartened immediately. And here I thought we were friends. Why can’t I even ask for such a simple thing?
“You’re asking to wait in my room, and you also want to question me about things you’re curious about. Don’t you think that might be too much of a disturbance?”
His gaze made me feel a bit wary because I couldn’t read what he was thinking. “I mean...”
“But alright. Since you’ve made it here already. If you help me with one thing, I might agree to what you’re asking for.”
“What is it?” I quickly asked back.
“The party tonight is actually for my close friend. His name is Smith, and you’ll easily spot him because he’s the only one wearing gold-rimmed glasses. Tonight, he’s going to propose to a woman.”
“OMG.”
I exclaimed in surprise. Just being in Khun Mas’s limbo was astonishing enough, and now I was going to witness a party from his era too? Even if I had to observe from a distance in this room, the house was U-shaped, so I should be able to see something.
“What I want you to help with is to get something important from my father’s desk drawer. It’s a ring box that Smith entrusted to me. You need to bring it to me in the dining room before the clock outside strikes nine, because that’s when Smith will be sitting on the bench in the garden with his lover. But remember one thing, do not let anyone see you, under any circumstances, because I cannot guarantee what might happen.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded, “How am I supposed to do that without anyone seeing me?”
“Exactly.” He said softly, showing me a silver key in his hand, “This is the key to that drawer; it’s in the bottom drawer of the desk.”
I looked at the key in his hand with a mix of excitement and apprehension, understanding now. Khun Mas wasn’t really asking for my help. He was testing me, challenging me, or whatever you want to call it, but overall, it felt like a form of hazing.
“And if I can’t do it?”
“That would be terrible.” He said, feigning disappointment. He looked like the epitome of a gentleman, yet his feigned sadness felt infuriating because we didn’t know how to get back at him, “I wouldn’t be able to help you with what you’ve asked for either.”
I clenched my jaw before looking up into his charming, dangerously attractive face. It was the kind of allure that vampires use to lure humans before sinking their fangs in and draining our blood.
But let me tell you something. He’s picked the wrong person to challenge. I might be scared of ghosts to the point of being scared out of my wits, but everyone has a trigger point, and when it’s touched, it’s game over. My competitive nature is my weakness, something I find very hard to control, and whenever someone hits that spot, I can’t help myself. And Khun Mas didn’t just hit it; he crushed it.
I reached out to take the key from him, giving him a smile in return.
“Sure, Khun Mas, the ring box is in the bottom drawer of the desk, right? You can go stand handsomely in the banquet room and wait for me. I guarantee the item will be in your hands before the time.”