[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 46: Flashback 6; Circinate Vernation
“Hey, what's up, Uncle Yai?”
Itt greeted when he picked up the phone; the other end was his uncle, the eldest brother of his mother. After his mother passed away, his father remarried. He remained in the old house with his father, their relationship was very bad, but he had no other options. He didn't have enough money to move out.
“Are you doing well, Itt?” The other side asked, his mother's relatives quite cherished and loved him.
“Just getting by, Uncle Yai. I'm almost done with high school. It's a bit busy.” He replied.
“Where are you planning to study next?” Uncle Yai continued, engaging in conversation.
“I'll probably go into professional sports, Uncle. My academics aren't great; I don't think I can manage university entrance exams.”
Itt answered honestly. The truth about going into professional sports, he had never discussed with anyone except the adults from the archery club who noticed him during the national youth sports competition. He didn't want to tell anyone because finishing only high school might not be something many would agree with, at least not his father.
“Oh, I thought you were going to continue studying at university first.” The person on the other end asked in surprise.
“No way, Uncle, I only got into this school through a sports quota. Those with sports quotas, in most universities, need to have a GPA over 2.5. My GPA doesn't make the cut for me to even try. I probably couldn't handle it anyway.”
It wasn't that he didn't want to study, but with his very low academic potential, forget about getting into university, he wasn't even sure how many zeros he'd have to make up in this semester's exams. Various sports quotas from different universities were all beyond his cumulative GPA. He had no other option but to fully commit to being an athlete.
“Is it because of money problems? You can tell me, after all, Itt, you are still my nephew.”
The other side asked with concern. Saying that financial issues weren't his problem wouldn't be entirely correct, especially since his mother passed away and his father remarried. He had resolutely stopped taking money from his father. The money he used daily came from his mother's not-so-large savings account, but he expected it to last until he finished high school. He needed to start working as soon as possible after graduation to extend his lifeline.
“A little bit, Uncle, but I still have some of mom's money. If I really get stuck, I'll ask to bother you, okay?” He replied politely, thinking that his mother's relatives might be his last resort.
“I was mainly talking about this, you could call it good news, I almost forgot to mention it after talking about other things for so long.”
“Yes? Uncle.”
He glanced at his wristwatch before walking leisurely into the school. This was the third week of tutoring ordered by Teacher Wailan. Just three more sessions and he'd be free. Last week was incredibly awkward; that bland-faced guy didn't speak a single word to him, which was quite irritating.
“The land in Samut Prakan, our family's inheritance, has finally been sold. We're waiting for the lawyer to clear up the money matters. Soon, your mother's share will be transferred into your account, Itt. Don't worry, the lawyer Kuea is overseeing every step. I assure you nothing will be missed.”
“Oh, Uncle, it sounds like I'm suspicious of you or something.”
He replied, trying to mask his joy. The last piece of his mother's inheritance had been sold. The large family land couldn't initially be divided for him because it was tied up with several people's properties. It took over a year to sell, meaning he was about to receive a significant sum to support his life.
“I won't interfere with how you usesthis money, because it's yours, but I'll remind you to remember the hard times when spending. Save and be frugal, so you can live long without returning to hardship.”
“Yes, uncle. I will never forget the days when I was struggling for sure.”
He promised himself. He would definitely not be extravagant with this sum of money; at least it was the inheritance his mother left solely for him.
“Itt, why not move out? Live in a dorm outside, choose one that isn't expensive. I think it would put everyone at ease.” The other person suggested.
“I've been thinking the same, uncle. If I can find a cheap dorm, I'd like to move out. I don't want to be in their way.” The ‘they’ here meant his father.
“Give it a try, Itt. I think if you choose carefully, the rent won't be too burdensome. Living outside, you'll be able to take care of yourself. Also, Itt, you have a driver's license; you might want to look for a second-hand car. They aren't expensive these days, just over a hundred thousand.” His uncle advised.
“It's okay, Uncle Yai. I can take the bus, it's okay.”
He replied, not seeing the importance. Even if the bus was sometimes late, overall, he never thought he was struggling by taking public transport.
“I'm not worried about the hardship, Itt, but I'm concerned about you getting into trouble. The school has reported to me several times that you have been in fights on the bus. I know sometimes you're not the one starting it, but believe me, avoiding risky situations is worth it. A car isn't that expensive.”
“But...”
“Itt, just think about it. With this money, you'll get several million. Spending a few hundred thousand on a car shouldn't be a concern. Plus, second-hand car prices don't drop much; you can always sell it in an emergency.”
“Yes.”
“Remember, Itt, you still have me. Even if you don't live with me, I see you as another son of mine. If anything happens, think of me, don't be rash or hot-headed. You have a long life ahead, Itt. Whatever you do impulsively, just remember what I've asked you.”
“Okay.”
Itt accidentally greeted the person in front of him as he stepped into the study room where they read together. In truth, he had no intention of greeting this person at all, but today he was in such a good mood. He didn't really mind the annoyance from the person in front of him. Just the thought of moving out from that chaotic house made this bespectacled person seem less irritating than usual.
“Good”
The bland-faced guy responded very briefly today. He looked up at him for a moment before bowing his head back to his book. Well, it's a good start; at least he's learning to have some human interaction.
The atmosphere returned to silence once again.
After that brief greeting, they didn't speak another word to each other. One was intently reading an English academic book, ignoring the person in front of him. The other pulled out a bag full of homework to sort through. Several teachers didn't give him remedial classes, but they sure gave him extra work. He started thinking that maybe it would be better to have extra tutoring sessions with this bland guy; doing it alone and submitting alone, there was no one to copy from.
Itt picked up his notebook of dried leaves that the teacher had assigned, and started sewing the pages together.
Biology class didn't require extra lessons, but he was tasked with collecting leaves from dicot plants, pressing them into a notebook, and then sewing it to submit for the class he was taking. If he remembered correctly, the class was called Taxonomy.
“Is this assignment worth a lot of points?”
The flat yet hesitant voice pulled his attention from the bookbinding he was managing. The bland-faced guy asked, looking at him expectantly but somewhat timidly. Although he didn't quite understand why he was asking, he answered willingly. He was in an unusually good mood today.
“30 points, I think. Normally, this assignment is worth 10 points, but since I missed a quiz during the break, the teacher combined the points into one lump sum.”
“This one, you're preparing to submit, right?” The bland-faced guy continued.
“Yeah, I'm sewing it together now.” He replied, not understanding what the interest was about.
“Can I say something?” The other asked nervously.
“Go ahead.”
“What you're doing, it's wrong.”
“Huh.” He inadvertently responded, not understanding.
“The cover says 'Collection of Dicot Leaf Images', right?” The other confirmed to be sure.
“Yes.” He answered, still not getting it.
“The leaf that's adorned on the cover, it shows, circinate vernation, quite clearly, normally these special characteristics are of ferns, which are classified as pterophyta and not dicots. Did you include this leaf in the book too?”
The other person rambled on. He himself didn't quite understand, only knowing that it seemed many of the leaves he included were wrong.
“Included.”
“Just now in the middle, I think I saw a pine leaf too. Pine plants aren't dicots either; they are non-flowering plants. This one is classified in the division coniferophyta.”
“Oh.”
“Scroll a bit further, and there's a palm leaf, which also isn't right. I understand it's pretty, but it's a monocot.”
“Ah.” How did he know that Itt included a palm leaf because its fronds were beautiful?
“To make it easy, just send the book over, I'll help sort them out for you, how about it?”
The bland-faced guy concluded with a question, looking directly at him like a normal person. He sensed that this young master wasn't arrogant or condescending at all. He handed over the book in his hand to the person in front of him, murmuring a soft thank you, barely louder than a whisper.
The bland-faced guy shifted his attention from the thick English book, then helped him sort through the leaves, page by page, muttering about this plant belonging to that family, that plant to this division. Even though nearly twenty percent of the original leaves were removed, the other didn't mock or belittle him for being foolish at all. He began to view the bland-faced person in front of him with better feelings than he initially thought, at least he was helping him. Even though just a few weeks ago, he had been talked down to by him from below.
“Can I say something? Before you divide by a variable in the entire equation, make sure it's not zero.”
“How many points is this worth? This one might be calculated wrong; the speed of light in a vacuum is three hundred million meters per second. If it's not close, you've probably substituted the wrong value in the formula.”
“Does this need to be submitted to the teacher? Is it worth a lot of points? The scenario in this problem needs to be explained using Le Chatelier's principle. Not with reasons from organic chemistry.”
Thus, taxonomy, inequalities, mechanics, and chemical equilibrium could be considered the starting points of their relationship.
Chapter 47: Flashback 7; Teacher Wailan
What he did was to store the memory of Itt from that day in a drawer,
And consider the Itt in front of him now as someone else.
Since that day when he cried until he was nearly mad, he wiped his tears and started anew. No one was at fault in this matter. He simply liked it. And it simply couldn't like him back. He chose to accept the reality and move on, hoping that one day he could talk to Itt normally, like any friend would. As for the Itt who owned his beloved dusty gown, he would keep that memory just for himself.
His relationship with the new Itt improved gradually.
The other day, Itt was in a good mood from who knows where and greeted him for the first time since they started reading together. It took until the third week for them to start talking. The first week, the other brought his girlfriend along. The second week, he was busy with morning sports practice, and by afternoon, he just slept. It was only in the third week that Itt initiated a conversation, and that was the starting point for their talks.
He learned that Itt's GPA and scores weren't very good.
Teacher Wailan, who sent him to the academic Olympics, told him personally. Itt's GPA was only in the low twos. Itt's academic situation was quite serious. If he still wanted to go to university, he needed to urgently improve his knowledge to compete for an athlete's quota. Moreover, this year's GPA shouldn't drop below 2.0, because if the cumulative GPA was below 2.0, he couldn't apply for the athlete's quota at all. Given the situation, without the athlete quota, Itt's chances of further education would be very slim.
“Please take care of Itt for me.”
He still remembers Teacher Wailan's voice as she entrusted the sports club president to him. Itt, or King Kong, who was crazy about physical strength but hardly cared about his own education.
“What does that mean, teacher?”
He asked, not understanding, that day he was called in to discuss having to attend remedial tutoring, but the main issue turned out to be a request for him to help take care of Itt, who now seemed to be in a precarious educational situation.
“Itt is a good kid, but he doesn't believe in his own academic abilities. The guidance counselor told me that Itt consulted her about not continuing his studies but instead becoming a professional athlete. Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem if Itt didn't originally want to continue his education. But initially, Itt wanted to go to university and even inquired several times at the guidance office about sports quotas for entering university.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Itt needs to have a GPA over 2.00 to use the sports quota. His current average is 2.02, which means this year Itt cannot get lower than 2.00. And Itt has missed school for a month to play youth sports. I've tried to persuade other teachers to let Itt attend remedial classes so it's easier to give him points, but the other teachers disagreed. Everyone assigned him to submit work instead. If the work he submits isn't good and he scores low, I'm afraid Itt won't get to use the sports quota. This time, his chances of getting into a good university are almost gone.”
“Do you mean you want me to help Itt with his homework, madam? But isn't that just like copying a friend's homework?” He argued, not understanding.
“Don't have him write according to what you say, but teach him to understand. Itt has rejected all knowledge from teachers at school. Now, I can only hope that if the person teaching changes from a teacher to a friend, maybe he'll listen.”
“So, you mean you want me to tutor Itt for university entrance exams?”
“Pai, you need to help him with his homework, ensure he scores well this year, and tutor him on the basics enough so he can take the university quota exams. I've checked; Itt wants to enter several engineering faculties that offer quotas for students with national sports achievements. The competition isn't fierce, and the cutoff isn't high, just 40%. I've prepared all the old exam papers for him.”
“Why are you doing this, sir?”
He asked out of curiosity. Truthfully, he didn't feel that tutoring the other student was such a bad thing, especially since he was already spending every Saturday afternoon free anyway. Whether he did it or not wasn't really the issue, but what puzzled him was why Teacher Wailan cared so much about Itt specifically.
“If one day you become a teacher, you'll understand that kids who are smart and capable like you aren't really a concern. You'll always have a good future in education. But it's kids like Itt, who are at a critical juncture, that teachers need to pay special attention to. Getting into university could change the rest of that kid's life entirely. Teachers must try to help him. That's the duty of being a teacher.”
“Mister.”
The voice of Pai broke the silence during the fourth week of tutoring. He spoke up, breaking the quiet when he saw the person in front of him flipping through a chemistry book on stoichiometry, alternating between the problems and the formulas.
To be honest, he was still very worried about the person in front of him.
Even though he knew full well that his love was impossible, and he had chosen to give up. But at least, he wanted the person in front of him to succeed in life. He didn't know in what capacity he felt this concern, but he just felt that he wanted the person in front of him to have a good life.
“What?” Itt looked up from flipping through the book and turned to him.
“Could you, uh, give me some advice?” He knew the other didn't like him much, so he always asked before saying anything.
“Sure, go ahead.”
The other replied casually, seeming not to hold as much of a grudge against him as before. The many sessions of helping with homework last week seemed to have had some effect.
“Well, don't focus on the formulas just yet. First, you need to understand where the concentration calculations come from.”
“Call me 'you' if you want.” Itt said, noticing his hesitation in choosing pronouns.
“Right, so, uh, don't focus on which formula to use yet, but, uh, you need to understand first where the calculation comes from. If, uh, you don't understand anything, you should separate the units of solute and solvent first, then compare them using the mole concept.” He explained stutteringly, not quite used to using 'I' and 'you' in such an informal way.
“What do you mean?”
And after that question, the tutoring session between him and the person he once liked officially began. He took a deep breath to encourage himself before starting to explain. Pai intentionally chose topics that frequently appeared in the old entrance exams for sports quota that he had access to. Partly because Teacher Wailan asked him to, but also because of his own desire from within.
“Which university do you want to apply to?”
He initiated the conversation. Despite feeling a bit awkward using informal pronouns with the person in front of him, he tried to use them to complete the task given by Teacher Wailan.
“I want to study engineering, man. Don't really care which university, but if I could get into Nawaminthrachinuthit, that'd be great.”
Itt replied while still not looking up from the physics problem about motion he had just taught. As the other started substituting formulas, he kept solving without stopping, as if he was extremely eager or something.
“There's a sports quota, you know.” He hinted.
“Hmm, but I probably won't pass the exam. Damn, I got almost every question right, man. Why didn't the physics teacher teach me like you do? I've been confused for so long.” Itt said excitedly, after checking the answers and realizing he only got one wrong.
“Want to give it a try? The direct admission exam is in just three weeks.”
“How so?” The other turned to him, not understanding.
“I have old direct admission exams. You'll take the same set as me, but you're a youth athlete with a special quota. Judging from previous years' applications, you just need to pass 40%, and you're in. The exam isn't that hard; it mainly covers content from grades 10 and 11.”
“Ah.”
“Anyway, I'll be studying with you. How about I help by reviewing the frequently tested topics? It'll be a review for both of us since we're taking the same exam set.”
“Will that work, man? I'm not that smart.” Itt said, lacking confidence.
“There's nothing to lose. Just try to push yourself for once. If you don't make it, it's not the end of the world. There are plenty more universities with direct admissions, and the sports quota isn't tough.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Hold on a sec.”
Itt's voice rose as a phone call interrupted their study session. The sky had darkened sometime ago without them noticing. They had been studying intensely, and when he glanced at his watch, it was almost 8 PM. He got up to open the curtain on the other side and saw the family van waiting to pick him up. He closed the curtain and sat back down while Itt picked up his phone.
“Paeng, I'm sorry.”
The person in front of him spoke in an overly sweet voice as soon as he picked up the phone, that voice echoing in his head over and over. Although the pain had lessened somewhat from the first time, to say it didn't hurt at all would not be entirely true.
Pai could gather from the one-sided conversation he overheard that the couple had probably arranged to have dinner together, and Itt must have tutored past the time and arrived late. He guessed the other party called when they saw it was more than fifteen minutes past the meeting time, but judging by the situation, it might take him many more minutes to get there by bus, which could be enough time for the other party to get quite angry.
“Sorry, man, I've got to go. I've got a date with my girlfriend, I'm already half an hour late.” Itt said to him after hanging up.
“Where are you meeting?” He asked.
“Nearby, in front of the Convent, close to my girlfriend's school. I need to rush there.” The person in front of him hurriedly packed his bag, ready to leave.
“Get in my car, I'll have the driver drop you off. We have to pass that way before heading home anyway.”
Chapter 48: Flashback 8; Bus
“Phii Itt, you're 57 minutes, 32 seconds late.” This was the first greeting he heard as he sat down on the chair at their favorite ice cream shop.
“Paeng, I'm sorry.”
He spoke with guilt; today he had tutored for too long. That plain-faced guy explained many subjects in detail, and when he managed to solve problems he never could before, he got carried away and forgot the time. By the time he realized, he was already late for the appointment.
“Does saying sorry make it better?” The other party replied, annoyed.
“I'm really sorry, Paeng, I didn't mean to. I was tutoring with a friend, and with exams coming up, I had to study harder.” He tried to explain.
“So, our date wasn't important at all, right? That's why you forgot so easily, Phii Itt?”
“Oh, calm down, Paeng, for me, you are the most important.” He tried to soothe her.
“If I'm the most important, how could you forget our date, Phii Itt?” The other party replied with a tone that showed no sign of cooling down.
“Paeng, I was really just studying. The exams for university entrance are coming up. I didn't go anywhere else, I came straight here after school.”
“Phii Itt, don't make excuses. The truth is you just forgot our date, don't use studying as an excuse.”
“I was really studying, Paeng, I can even show you the books I was working on.” He tried to prove his sincerity.
“So, Phii Itt, you think studying is more important than me?” She accused, looking for a fight.
“Paeng, this is about my entire future.”
He muttered, not understanding. He was late, he admitted his fault, but she shouldn't view his dedication as insignificant to this extent.
“Phii Itt, are you implying that I am holding back your future?” His girlfriend said, her voice clearly heating up.
“I didn't say that, I'm just saying my future is important too.”
He explained, but with less effort. It seemed the more he spoke, the less adorable and cherishable she appeared to him.
“You said it.” She insisted.
“I didn't say that.” He argued back.
“Fine. If Phii Itt says so, then I won't be so shameless as to keep being a burden in your life anymore.” His girlfriend said with a sharp, harsh tone, standing up from the table.
“Paeng!” He exclaimed in shock, not expecting things to escalate this far.
“Let's break up, I don't want to be anyone's burden.” She said, making a move to leave the shop.
“Paeng, wait, it's my fault, I'm sorry.”
He reached out to grab the arm of the person in front of him before she could walk away, no matter what. The conflict today started because of him. He was at fault for being late, and he didn't want everything to end like this.
“Let go, Paeng. I'm tired of taking the bus with you, Phii Itt.” His recent ex-girlfriend said as she shook off his hand and walked out of the shop without a care. He could only let her go, slumping back into the chair in defeat.
If she left because of his mistake, he would try to hold her back.
But if she left because she despised who he was, he could only let her go.
He couldn't change himself, just as he couldn't change her mind.
He dragged himself to wait for the bus, feeling drained.
In truth, he felt he was getting closer to his dream of attending university like everyone else, after having shelved it for so long with the word “impossible.” One day, when the opportunity arose again, he wanted someone who understood, stood by him, and shared his dream.
His life had no one.
His beloved mother had passed away nearly two years ago. His father remarried against his wishes, living in the same house, but it felt like they were invisible to each other. The person who seemed closest to him, who might understand him the most, had now chosen to walk away. It was ironic that today, just as a new hope entered his life, his old hope flickered out.
He boarded the bus around 9 PM.
But today, he didn't take his usual bus line. He chose a new route, the bus moving further and further from his home. He watched the scenery pass by in quiet contemplation. Itt let time pass in the lonely night where he truly had no one. For him, “having no one” meant exactly that.
“Are you okay?”
The voice of the person in front of him asked during their fifth tutoring session, though really, it was more like the second, since he only started taking lessons seriously last week. With only two weeks left until the exam, he still couldn't get Paeng out of his head.
“Keep going, keep going.” He tried to focus on the material in front of him again. Today was about his bitter trigonometry.
“Is everything in your life okay? Why do you seem so distracted today? Are you stressed about something?” The other person asked.
“No, I'm fine.” He didn't want to explain much.
“If you're stressed about the exam, don't be. I think you can do it.”
He turned and met eyes that could be described as encouraging. It was funny how he kept waiting for hope and understanding from someone who hadn't shared any moments with him, while the person in front of him, who had practically pulled him out of despair, he had hardly ever thanked.
“Thanks a lot, man. Without you, I wouldn't have made it this far.”
He said thank you sincerely. From not liking each other, to today where he could full-heartedly call him a friend, though it was hard to admit fully because once they left this library study room, they became strangers again. He had never greeted Pai outside of this room. Their relationship was odd; from someone he disliked, today, the other had helped him immensely.
“Nah, you're quick-witted anyway. I was just reviewing my own exam stuff.” Pai replied, not taking any credit.
“Yeah, if not for you, I might not have even gone to the exam.” He admitted that at first, he had given up on taking the exam.
“Come on, I think you have a shot at wearing the university garage jacket, just need to get 4 out of 10 right. Try doing some old practice exercises. You've scored way over that before.” Pai, or in another sense, his tutor, encouraged.
“Yeah, I'll give it a shot.” He said with determination.
“That's the spirit!”
“Are you free next week?” He tentatively asked.
“Yeah, I'm free. Not doing anything.” The other replied.
“There's still one more Saturday before the exam. If you're not busy, I'd like you to help me study a bit more, give me another week. Maybe I can do better.”
Itt spoke not too loudly. In truth, he was asking the person in front of him for help. Although he used to find Pai annoying, he had to admit that over the past two weeks, Pai had helped him learn a lot, both in class and when he had problems at home. Luckily, he hadn't done anything too harsh to him before; otherwise, he wouldn't dare to ask for help like this.
“Sure.”
His relationship with Pai was like a secret.
In front of everyone, the sports club and theThe other person replied without much thought and even seemed pleased. His current status was like being a disciple of this bland-faced guy. When he tried to ask for more study time, the other might be glad that he was showing more enthusiasm. Honestly, he didn't even know what their relationship would be like after next week's tutoring session.
But if he had to guess, they would probably go back to being strangers again.
Itt was using the final stretch before the direct admission exam to its fullest.
He was trying to devote all his time and ability as much as someone like him could manage, at least for the coach who had been pushing him hard until he became a national team representative and could take the athlete quota exam, and for Pai who spent so much time tutoring him, even though in reality, Pai didn't need to be nice to someone who had always been rude to him. He wanted to apologize to the other for always picking fights but found himself unable to speak up.
Now, Pai had become the only person he could fully discuss his university exam plans with.
It could be said that Pai was the only one who knew how much effort and seriousness he was putting into this exam. His friends, others, or even his close friend Pure, didn't know how much more he was studying like crazy compared to before. Pure was taking the same round of exams, but the regular direct admission, and he wasn't worried about Pure at all since he was much better at studying, consistently getting grades over three.
The academic club always seemed to be at odds, in front of others, neither side ever greeted each other. Sometimes, they even competed over which club was more prominent. But he knew all these minor conflicts were nothing, and Pai was good, too good to care about such petty things.
According to the actual schedule, the competition for room 950 had ended several days ago.
The result was that the academic club lost because both he and Pai had their names up on the school's front board since they had achievements up to this day, but he came back from the competition first, so if you count the total time, he undoubtedly won.
However, over time, the alternating use of the room between the two clubs had proven to be a workable solution.
They divided the room for use on odd and even days. The main activity of the academic club was meetings, preparing for various events that weren't so frequent as to require daily use of the room. As for the sports club, their main activities were at the sports field anyway. They would have meetings but scheduled them to avoid conflicts.
In reality, no one in either club knew about their competition.
Both of them hadn't told anyone in their respective clubs, leading both clubs to think that they were just sharing the room according to the system. It was unclear whether this outcome was good or bad; their conflict was something only the two of them knew about.
Chapter 49: Flashback 9; Athlete Quota
“The room's locked.”
Itt turned to tell him after trying to turn the doorknob of the study room, which was a separate section in the library, several times. They had been tutoring here to make up for missed class time for five weeks, and this was the sixth week he was tutoring the other, but this time was special. Teacher Wailan, who had reserved the room for them, probably only did so for the days they were scheduled to tutor, so for this extra session, the room wasn't reserved as seen.
“We could go down and study in the cafeteria.”
He replied simply. Their cafeteria was an open space, suitable for reading. Pai didn't really want to use the library much because you couldn't be loud in the common areas, and many times he had to speak while teaching. He was considerate of others.
“Let's go to room 950. I've made arrangements for it for the sports competition next weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. It's quiet and private.”
Pai nodded, agreeing with Itt without objection. Even though they met every Saturday for six weeks straight, in front of others, they were always strangers to each other. Itt never greeted him in front of others, not even once. And he didn't dare to greet the other either. Itt acted as if he was someone he never knew. Meanwhile, he chose not to show any reaction. The idea that the school's prince would know a nerdy, glasses-wearing student wasn't something to be pleased about.
They spent the entire afternoon intensely tutoring.
Itt has shown much improvement, just as Teacher Wailan mentioned. Itt is quick-witted and more capable than he believes himself to be. However, it seems throughout the time, Itt hasn't had much confidence in his academic abilities. Whenever he tries to escape, the results turn out quite poorly.
The weeks spent together have shown that Itt isn't the type who likes to memorize.
He noticed that if you explain the origin of a theory to Itt from the basic principles, Itt understands the content very well. Therefore, he tries to give Itt fewer shortcuts, focusing on direct methods and understanding, which has yielded good results. For instance, in chemistry regarding chemical quantities, Itt hardly needs any formulas; he focuses on direct proportional reasoning based on understanding, and he does quite well on old exams. This is even clearer in mathematics; the fewer formulas, the better he performs. Conversely, in topics with many formulas, he does poorly. Trigonometry, for example, was almost entirely abandoned because Itt could hardly remember any formulas.
Today might be the last day.
Next week, Itt and he will take the direct entrance exam at Nawaminthrachinuthit School. He expects Itt to pass, especially under the national athlete quota where only 40% is needed. Throughout the tutoring sessions, Itt has consistently performed above this threshold. Barring any major surprises, Itt should get to study in the Faculty of Engineering as he wishes.
After this, they will probably go back to being strangers again.
The time for remedial study sessions has ended. And with Itt likely getting into his desired university, there will be no reason for them to meet anymore. Friendship might not be on the cards; each will have their own world, moving on from this Saturday. They'll just be schoolmates.
Pai tries to make the most of the remaining time.
He knows well that after this, he won't have another chance to talk so intimately with Itt. He tries to cherish these moments, to keep these memories before stepping over them and leaving everything behind.
He probably won't love anyone again.
Having gone through this love, he'll likely be wary of love for a long time. Even just secretly liking someone, without them even knowing, has hurt him this much. If it were a more advanced relationship that ended worse, how brutal would that feel?
He truly doesn't know if love is worth the risk.
His life these days is quite happy, so happy that he feels the pain from dealing with that idiot who's sitting there reading a book without understanding anything is more than he should bear. He thinks he could probably live without love, it might seem a bit gray, but at least it wouldn't add to his suffering more than necessary.
“64 points.”
Pai announced the score from the practice exam Itt took, an actual old test he kept for last-week practice. The other waited excitedly for the result before swearing joyfully upon learning he passed well above the threshold.
“Damn, more than 60.” Itt said in good spirits.
“Yeah, keep up the standard, and that university garage jacket you want to wear won't be far off.” Pai said with a smile.
“If I actually pass, it's all thanks to your tutoring, man.”
“Nah, you're quick to catch on anyway. I just reviewed stuff for you.”
Pai replied, thinking that the person Itt should really thank is Teacher Wailan, but he'd wait to reveal that truth until after Itt passed.
“Will I really be able to do it?” Itt asked again, worried, as the joy from his score began to fade.
“Have some confidence in yourself, man. If you think you can do it, you can. But if you keep undermining yourself like this, this negative thinking will burn you out. Once you're burnt out, you won't work hard, and if you don't work hard, you'll indeed fail.”
He spoke at length; it was the final week. Itt must not trip over his own feet now. Otherwise, all previous efforts would amount to nothing.
“I'll try, man, thanks a lot.”
“Yeah, no problem, we help each other out.” He responded.
“Before this, I never told anyone about my plans after high school.”
“And what were you planning to do initially?”
“At first, I had given up on the entrance exams. I planned to become a professional athlete. When I competed in the youth championships, someone from a national team club invited me; I thought that might be good.”
“So, what do you really want to do?”
“I know that being an athlete is a career where if you succeed, you probably earn good money, but it's a career with a limited time. One day, our bodies won't be able to perform like they used to, and fresher, younger kids will eventually take our place.”
“Ah.”
“If you ask me, I'd like to work a normal job like everyone else. The salary doesn't have to be high, but I want stability.”
“So, by studying to take the exam, you're on the right path.”
“Good thing you've taught me a lot. At first, I didn't even dare to tell anyone I wanted to get into Nawaminthrachinuthit Triam Udom Suksa School; everyone knows the scores are high. If I said it and then couldn't do it, I'd just be embarrassed for nothing.”
“Come on. If you told me, I wouldn't tell anyone.”
“If I pass the entrance exam, it would be great for my life.” The person in front of him kept talking, more like he wanted to speak to himself than to him.
“Ah.”
“Thanks, really.”
“Let's head back, it's almost 8 PM.”
Pai said as he walked to turn off the air conditioner in the room before leaving. Room 950, or in other words, their club room. Upon entering, you find a small room with a door leading to a larger inner room, which is the main area used for activities. They checked everything, turned off the lights and the AC, then walked out from the inner room to the small front room to exit.
“Pai….”
Itt, who was opening the door of room 950 planning to go outside, suddenly called out to him. He responded, a bit confused.
“Yes?”
“The room is locked from outside.”
“Oh.”
He exclaimed in shock before running to try the doorknob in front of him, only to find that it was indeed locked from the outside. It seemed the janitor had only checked the small room, and upon seeing the lights off, locked the door immediately without realizing someone was inside.
“Damn it.”
He cursed again, frustrated because when he checked his phone, he found out the battery was dead. He didn't know since when, which meant his only chance to contact the outside world now was Itt's phone.
“Is your phone working? Mine's out of battery.” He hurriedly asked the other person, anxious.
“I left my bag in the library. Was planning to go get it ages ago, but I got caught up timing the exam. I was going to fetch it on my way back.” The other replied with an equally troubled tone.
“Damn, just great.”
“What about your driver? If you're late, he'll come looking for you, right?” Itt suggested trying to think of solutions.
“I didn't ask him to wait today because I thought we'd finish late, and I already told them at home that if it got too late, I might just stay over at Wan's place.” He spoke, utterly dejected.
“Then Wan will probably come looking for you.”
“The thing is, I haven't even told Wan yet that I'd stay over.” Said Pai, hopelessly.
“Game over.” Itt shrugged nonchalantly.
“What about your family? Will they come looking for you?” He asked.
“Haha, my family? They probably wouldn't even notice if I was murdered and buried.” Itt replied with a bitter laugh.
“So, what do we do next?” He didn't bother to ask for more reasons but tried to find a way out of this situation.
“Nothing. We'll just have to stay here, that's all.” Itt answered simply.
“Damn, it's Saturday night. Doesn't that mean we have to wait until Monday morning to get out? We're screwed, we'll have to starve all day tomorrow.” He said, despairing.
“Not really, I've booked this room for a meeting tomorrow. Someone will come to open it in the morning.” The other reassured me.
“That's a relief.”
“Think of it as a camping trip.” The thick-set sports club president said casually.
“Going to camp, huh?”
“Yeah, just think of it as the two of us going to camp together. Endure sleeping for just this one night, and tomorrow we get to go home.”
Chapter 50: Flashback 10; Safe Zones
Pai was still sitting awkwardly in the corner of the room.
While he walked over to the sports equipment cabinet to pull out a mat used for athletes' flexibility training to lay down for sleeping, Itt tried to find a spot where the air conditioning wasn't too strong. The air conditioner in this room was very old and they couldn't adjust the temperature anymore. At night, it might get cold since they didn't have any blankets for tonight.
Glancing at his wristwatch, it was almost past 8 PM. Itt decided to drag the only available mat to a corner of the room where the air conditioning wasn't hitting directly. He lay down on the mat easily; his countless experiences of staying in sports camps made sleeping in a classroom quite normal for him. Usually, during sports competitions in other provinces, schools didn't have enough dorms to accommodate all the athletes, so they would just sleep in classrooms like this.
“If we sleep early, we'll get through tonight quickly.” Itt remarked to the other person in the room.
“Do we really have to stay here overnight?” The other asked back, still unsure about the situation.
“Do you have any other ideas? I don't really want to be cooped up here either.”
“Yeah.” Pai didn't reply but nodded, reluctantly accepting the reality.
“If you're coming to sleep, turn off the lights. I'll hold up my watch; the hands glow in the dark. So you can find your way.”
Itt said while holding up his watch as a signal. Seeing this, the other walked over to turn off the lights, which weren't far away. Once the lights were off, the room was completely dark. Room 950 had no windows, so no external light could seep in. The other person slowly felt his way in the dark, guided by the small glowing hands of Itt's wristwatch.
“Itt.”
The other person signaled as he approached. He mumbled again to indicate his position, so he wouldn't accidentally get stepped on while lying down.
“I'm here.”
“Move over a bit.” Pai said, slowly crouching down, feeling for the edge of the only available cushion.
“This is as far as I can go; the cushion is just wide enough for two.”
He shifted towards the other edge, but it didn't help much. The space was quite limited, but enough for the other to lean back without discomfort.
“Damn.”
Pai exclaimed in surprise when, as he was lowering himself, his hand accidentally brushed across Itt’s stomach. The unintentional touch of the palm seemed to transfer heat directly to his skin.
“Here, right here.”
Itt grabbed the other's hand, gently pulling it to touch the empty floor beside him, intending to show where the free space was in the dark.
“Ouch.”
His tutor let out a soft cry when he lost balance and fell onto the cushion unintentionally. It seemed like Pai had one hand on the ground as he was lowering himself, and when Itt moved that hand, it caused him to lose his balance and fall onto him with considerable force.
The other's face unintentionally pressed against his chest.
Their faces remained still together in silence, with neither saying a word. Itt felt as if time, at that moment, was passing incredibly slowly. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it or if they really stayed like that for a while, everything proceeding in silence. He felt his body temperature rising unintentionally, and he guessed the other felt the same.
Pai pulled away from his chest and started feeling around for a spot on the cushion, regaining his sense of direction.
Finally, Pai safely lay down. The other lay stiff next to him, like a wooden log, straight and silent, as if he had forgotten how to speak.
“What faculty are you planning to apply to?” He broke the silence with his question.
“Medicine, maybe.”
The other's voice was just an arm's length away, Pai, whom he once despised, now lying so close to him.
“Your family are doctors, right?”
“Yeah.”
After that sentence, the wide room fell into silence once again, as if the other had forgotten how to argue or banter with him. He just lay there still, almost as if trying to turn into stone.
Room 950, damn, how long it stayed silent, he couldn't quite estimate.
Time flowed by sluggishly. He couldn't sleep, and he felt that the other was also awake. Both maintained their consciousness in the dark, as if they were using the quiet to negotiate in some silent way.
“Are you cold?”
Itt asked when he noticed the person beside him had been shivering for a while. The air conditioning in this room was cold and couldn't be adjusted; during the day it was bearable, compared to the heat outside, but at night, with the outside already cold, while inside became even colder. He tried to choose a spot where the AC didn't hit directly, but it didn't help much. He raised his hand to test the airflow and realized that where they both lay was equally cold; switching places wouldn't make a difference.
“Mhm.”
The other replied, trying to control his reaction, but couldn't completely hide the chattering of his teeth. It seemed Pai was much colder than he had thought.
“Better now?”
“Damn.”
Itt decided to reach out with both arms and pull the person in front of him into an embrace. When the body in front of him touched his arms, Pai exclaimed in surprise, and the next thing he knew, his face was against Itt’s chest.
“It's the only way I could think of.”
He spoke out directly. Both of them were wearing thin t-shirts; having him take off his shirt for the other would hardly help, because his shirt was thin too. Plus, he might end up being the one shivering in the cold night. The only thing Itt could think of was to hug the person in front of him. At least, his embrace might help raise the temperature for both of them a bit.
“Uh.”
The other responded with a whisper near his chest. Pai easily succumbed to the dominion of his embrace, the earlier trembling gradually subsiding to normal.
Their bodies were pressed close together, with neither objecting.
Itt shifted to lie on his back to avoid his arm going numb from being laid on. Now, it was as if Pai was lying face down, leaning on his chest as if it were a pillow, and his embrace served as bedding. The face of the other was buried against him, so close that he could feel even the gentle breath in and out.
If you stripped away all external elements, this could well be a love scene from a sweet novel.
They shared an embrace in the dark night, as if they were communicating through the resounding silence across this vast land. The touch of each other seemed to tell and retell their stories through the shared embrace, without questioning the permanence of their status or anything else.
It was as if molecules of subtle sweetness were spreading throughout the room, 950, this place of memories.
One's embrace seemed to grow louder as a question, and the breath of the other against the thick chest seemed to reveal itself as an answer, from people who once competed seriously, disliked each other, didn't get along, to now being in each other's arms.
Itt himself couldn't quite define the feeling of this embrace.
Pai was not something he expected to come into his life's orbit at all. They were so different: status, education, family, tastes, future, and almost everything he could think of and count.
But if he had to define the person in his arms at this moment with one word, he would choose “safe.”
His life wasn't very secure. Not in a physical sense, but emotionally. His mother, whom he loved, had died and left him a long time ago. His father was as good as absent, and his best friend was a rough guy who wasn't really into heart-to-heart talks about life. Therefore, Pai was almost the only safe place in his life.
Pai was the only one he dared to tell what he wanted in life, the only one he dared to say what kind of future he desired. It would be nice if he could keep this safe space, but when he faced reality, everything seemed narrow and unbearably difficult.
Pai was very rich, the son of a hospital owner listed in the stock market. His entire life's earnings couldn't compare to even a fraction of Pai's wealth. If one day he could be “good” enough, that would be great. Everyone wants a safe space in their life, a place where they can lie back without any worries.
“Pai.”
“Hmm.” The other responded in the quiet.
“Do you still remember the competition for the club room?” Itt asked.
“Of course, I lost.”
“Yes. You lost.”
“Is it time for my club to move out of this room?” Pai asked calmly.
“No need to move out. We can share it on alternate days. Seems like we can both manage like this.” He proposed.
“Thank you.”
“But your loss isn't related to this.” Itt continued.
“Huh?”
“I beat you. Even if the stakes change, I should get something.” If one could see through the darkness, they would see his smiling face clearly.
“I'll let you order me to do one thing then, as compensation for my club continuing to use this room.” The other finally said after a moment of silence.
“Agreed.” Itt replied.
“Hmm, just tell me what you want.” The other said casually.
“I haven't thought of anything yet, but I definitely won't give up this command right.”
“Surprise!”
“One day, I'll come to claim the promise.”
“Okay.”
“But for now, I want something of a hostage, a hostage that represents my right to command.”
“A hostage?” The person in his embrace repeated the word as a question.
“I'll borrow your brown-colored gown as collateral for now.”
“...”
“The day I come to claim the promise, that day I'll return this brown colored gown.”