[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 9: Nothing To Worry
“What time do you finish?” Phii Johan asked after I got off his big bike, my legs still trembling. Even though he didn’t drive fast, I don’t know if he was intentionally teasing or not, he liked to twist the throttle when I wasn’t ready. If he could lift the wheel to tease me, he probably would have. So, I clung tightly to Phii Jo’s waist all the way, so tight that my hands hurt.
“Normally, the shop closes at 10 PM, but I don’t know what time Phii Ya will close tonight. “
“Phii Ya? “
“The shop owner. “
“Oh...On the way back, you’ll go back with Hill. “
“Sure.” I agreed. I usually go back with Phii Hill anyway. Just catching a ride back shouldn’t be too much trouble, right? They have to drop off Ter anyway.
“Call me if there’s anything. “
“Sure...Oh.” I hadn’t even asked anything, and Phii Johan had already sped off on his big bike.
Lame.
Disaster.
What was that?
Not used to it, this side of Phii Jo, I’m not used to it!
“Oh. Didn’t make it in time. Oh well.” Phii Ya said after running out of the shop and stopping next to me.” Too bad. “
“What’s too bad? “
“Just our fan, wanted to say hi, such a pity, he’s super handsome, didn’t see his face clearly because of the helmet, but just for riding that CBR which costs almost a million, I know he’s super handsome. “
“Him? He’s not my boyfriend.” I said.
“Really? Thought he was. “
“No.” I shook my head.”
“So, who is he? Is he single?”
“I don’t know, he’s probably not single anymore.” I said, thinking out loud. Is Phii Johan single, or what? I see him chatting with a lot of people.
“Oh, I want to meet him. That’s a beautiful ride, I’d love to ride on the back for some good karma.” Phii Ya said with a hint of regret. I secretly smiled at Phii Ya’s actions; she is one very talented transgender woman, and very kind-hearted too.
“What’s his name?”
“Phii Johan.”
“Really? Where does he study?”
“Same university as me, second year, friend of Phii Hill.”
“Hmm, friend of Ter’s boyfriend, huh? You guys pick your friends based on looks first?”
“I guess so.” I said jokingly but it was kind of true; they all looked good, damn.
“Very cool, the way he rode that big bike, it just pulls at my heartstrings, oh my! Hill, you’ve got it good. Meeting Hill’s friends makes me want to cry, they seem so rich too, right?”
“Yeah, they are rich.”
“Go for it, ask Hill for help. He’s handsome, rich, and has it all.”
“Ha ha ha, no way.” I shook my head gently, smiling awkwardly at her before walking into the shop which was getting ready to open. Ter was already there, washing vegetables in the kitchen.
“Hey, do you have any pictures? I want to see what he looks like.” Phii Ya asked, following me into the kitchen.
“What’s up?” Ter raised an eyebrow, asking.
“The guy named Johan, Hill’s friend.”
“Oh, North’s lover.”
“Ter, really.” I immediately looked at him with a scowl.
“Oh, so not lovers?”
“No.” I quickly answered.
“Why about Phii Jo then?”
“I saw him on a CBR dropping off North earlier, thought he might be his boyfriend so I wanted to greet him. Seriously, I only got a glimpse when he took off his helmet. He’s very handsome, just wanted to say hi.”
“Oh, Phii Ya said your boyfriend is handsome. “
“Sigh. “
“So, is he your boyfriend or not? “
“He’s not my boyfriend. I was just teasing, and I was rooting for him too.” Ter said.
“Oh, do you have a picture? I want to see. “
“Yes, I have them on the page.” Ter replied, wiping his hands on his apron and pulling out his phone to show Phii Ya some photos. I shook my head at both of them and went to change into the shop uniform in the bathroom.
“Put it away.” I came out of the bathroom to see Phii Ya looking at me and nudging Ter, who quickly hid his phone. What was that about? Why did it seem suspicious?
“What’s going on?” I approached them.
“Nothing. Let’s go wash some vegetables. “
“Ter.” I said in a low voice.
“What? “
“Not smooth. “
“Not smooth about what? “
“You’re really bad at lying. There’s something you’re not telling me. “
“There isn’t. “
“Phii Ya.” Since Ter wouldn’t talk, I turned to Phii Ya instead.
“What?”
“Is there something going on? “
“No, go wash the vegetables. We’re about to open the shop. Help set the tables too. “
“Alright.” Then both of them went off to do other things. What was that about? I was only went to the bathroom for a moment; did something happen?
After a while, as the shop opened, customers started trickling in. Meanwhile, I kept pestering Ter for information until past 10 PM when Phii Ya said we could close up. Today, there weren’t many customers, and now we were waiting for Phii Hill to pick us up.
“Ter, can you tell me now?” I pressed him again. His suspicious behavior made me even more curious.
“Ugh, you’ve made me squeeze until I’m like an orange.”
“Now, when I came out, you and Phii Ya were acting strange. I told you to keep it quiet. Did you keep your phone, or is there something in it?” I repeated the same sentence, “If you don’t tell me, I’ll be mad at you.”
“Oh, you can get mad too?”
“Yeah, then I’ll throw away your camera, just keep the lens, leave the camera body, so you’ll think twice about it.”
“Damn, why do I believe you would actually do that?”
“I would, tell me.”
“You really want to know that much?”
“Extremely.”
“Sigh, okay, I’ll tell you, there’s really nothing, you’ll know soon anyway. Promise me you won’t overthink it, okay?” Ter said with a serious face, which made me even more curious, “Oh, forget it. I don’t want to tell you, I’m afraid you’ll overthink it, and please don’t cry, promise me.”
“Okay, I promise, do you think I’m the type to overthink?”
“No, but...I’m just scared. If it were me, I’d definitely overthink it.”
“Such drama, I’m not as neurotic as you, just tell me.” I said, slightly annoyed, what is it, making me curious and then acting all dramatic? What could make Ter think I’d overthink it?
“Alright, alright, calm down.” Ter frowned slightly before pulling out his phone, scrolled a bit, then handed it over for me to see, “Phii Ya. I was about to show North.”
“Ha, no, you can’t show that.” Phii Ya, who was talking to another employee, immediately stepped in to stop it.
“What’s this about?”
“But sooner or later, North has to know.”
“But isn’t that too much? I think it’s better not to.”
“Oh come on, just tell me.”
Before Ter finally handed his phone over for me to look, he gripped my arm tightly as if he was really worried I might cry or overthink it. Truth be told, he’s the one who overthinks more.
Cute Boy & Girl – MU – Added new photos
Let’s see who we spotted this morning. (Be warned, prepare your heart before looking, take a deep breath, everyone on the page) it’s Johan, the future doctor himself!! He came to study early on his eight hundred thousand baht CBR, which I love, I love his wealth! It’s just too much, I really can’t handle it. With his looks and wealth, how could we not crown him the husband of the university? Everyone would probably want to ride on a big bike like that, holding tight, but...he already has someone riding with him. Even though the face isn’t clear, I recognize the shirt; it looks a lot like Phii Johan’s shirt. I remember he wore it often, guessing it’s the same one. So, are they a couple or what?! Borrowing each other’s clothes! I need some clarification here; is the best of the medical faculty going to be sold out again? Oh no, Hill, I still can’t get over it, TT
The picture shows me standing with my back to the camera, talking to Phii Johan who is still sitting on the big bike.
Disaster...
I tried scrolling through the comments:
- Nooooo. It’s not true, tell me it’s not true, they’re even wearing each other’s shirts, this is unacceptable!! Who is this person, tell us!!
- Who is this, they get to ride the bike and wear his shirt too? What kind of merit did they earn? Share some of that merit!
- Can’t see the face at all. And it’s super blurry, did you take it with a calculator or something!
- Don’t tell me they spent the night together, that’s why they’re here together...
- I don’t want him to have a girlfriend, I want him to be mine alone, could that be possible?
- Heartbroken from Hill, thought I’d find some solace in Johan...TT
- Actually, it’s not that surprising, Jo isn’t known to be exclusive.
- Ugh, they’ll probably break up soon anyway, just like before. Don’t be sad, Admin, #TeamForeverWifeOfJohan
- @Kaimook, Patcha, what about you? Weren’t you guys flirting?
- If you like Phii Jo, you need to prepare yourself, he’s got real flirts and imaginary wives all over the university, haha.
- But Jo doesn’t usually let others use his stuff, this person might be serious.
- It’s just a shirt, maybe Jo wanted to throw this one away and let the person he wants to discard wear it, right? ;)
- I overheard that Jo has stopped giving out his LINE ID, he’s blocked many people too.
- I’m scared, I’m not ready for him to date anyone yet.
From what I’ve seen, the comments seem to have shifted direction entirely. Normally, they’re mostly praising, but when it’s a picture of Phii Johan with someone else, the hostility just pours out. I guess anyone who posts a photo with Phii Jo will definitely get flamed by his fans. Wow, it’s like he’s a celebrity.
At first, I was about to return the phone to Ter and scold him for thinking this would make me cry, but my finger accidentally touched the screen, scrolling to another post.
Cute Boy & Girl – MU – has added a new photo
URGENT! Today, there was an issue around the Faculty of Engineering. Our freshman, Tiger, had someone riding with him too. Let me just say, he’s super cute, and he looks great on that black ninja bike. Guys riding big bikes really do something to your heart, but I’ve heard Tiger is single. Wonder about the one riding with him, that person is wearing the same shirt as the one with Dr. Jo. What’s the deal? Need an urgent statement!
And even Tiger isn’t spared, huh! Well, Tiger is already popular, being the faculty’s freshman and all, he gets photographed and posted on pages often. The picture they uploaded this time was when I was riding with Tiger around the faculty, and we were wearing helmets so you couldn’t see my face.
- What, what’s this? First with one person, then another, can’t have two faculty husbands!
- “Wow, that’s shameless. Isn’t Dr. Jo enough?
- “Playing two sides? Not cool.
- “Don’t let them know who it is, hehe!”
- “Hey, admin, don’t exaggerate. They might not even be involved. Let’s calm down, everyone, think before you type, feel sorry for that person. They haven’t done anything wrong, have they?
- “Alright, I’ve lost respect for one person!
- “Trying to steal Dr. Jo and messing with Tiger too, I’m not okay with this. Can’t handle it, choose one.
- “Some people are taking it too far, can we chill for a moment?
- “Dr. Jo has many fans, and Tiger’s got a lot of admirers too. Try doing something wrong, and we’ll be waiting to deal with it. We’ll find out who it is soon.
Before I could even finish reading all the comments, Ter snatched the phone from my hand.
“Stop. No need to read anymore.” Ter said, looking guilty, “Shouldn’t have let you read it in the first place.”
“Hey, why the sad face? I was going to read it myself. You’re the one overthinking.” I said, giving him a light tap on the head.
“Okay, North, it’s just social media, don’t take it to heart. Admins and pages always stir things up.” Phii Ya said, giving me a gentle shoulder squeeze to comfort me, “Don’t overthink it.”
“What’s there to overthink? I’m not overthinking.” I raised my eyebrows, stating the truth. I really wasn’t overthinking; I wasn’t thinking about it at all. I don’t care what people say. That’s just not me. “Are you going to cry for me then?”
“Uh, almost. When I was with Phii Hill, nothing like this happened. It’s too much. If I faced something like this, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
“You’re not me, and Phii Hill isn’t Phii Jo either. Phii Jo might be a playboy, so some people are a bit harsh.” I said without thinking much about it.” If you cry, Phii Hill will get mad, you know.”
“Yeah, I won’t cry. “
“Promise me you won’t overthink. Have you promised yourself that? “
“Hik...I was just trying to show you, sorry. “
“Why are you apologizing? “
“You really don’t care, right? Really, not just pretending to be strong. “
“I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t overthinking, I’d have exploded by now.” I said before gently nudging Ter’s head. Ter was about to cry instead of me; why are people so sensitive? His overly caring nature will never change. “There’s nothing going on. Me and Phii Johan have nothing, same with that guy. Everyone’s just imagining things. People who don’t know anything just talk. Don’t take it to heart.”
“Wow. You’re freaking awesome. “
“It’s normal. Why make such a big deal out of it? If they want to investigate me when they’re free, let them. What will they do if they find me? Beat me up? That would be stupid, I’d really fight back. “
“And if it’s a girl? “
“I’ve been curious to see what it’s like to punch a girl. “
“Wait, you beast, are you serious? “
“Kidding, but I wouldn’t just stand there, you know. Can you stop crying now, you crybaby? “
“Whatever. I’m not crying. “
“North, you’re the best, I’m so proud of you!” Phii Ya said happily and hugged me tightly. “I was so worried you’d be overthinking everything.”
“Don’t worry, Phii. I’m fine. “
“There’s an advantage to not overthinking.” Ter said.” It’s more peaceful. So what will you do next? “
“Just let them be, sometimes the praise is over the top.” Seriously, in others’ eyes, Phii Johan might be handsome, rich, good at studying, and good at work, but for me, he’s just an incredibly self-centered, scolding, and threatening debtor. “If fans knew, they’d probably retreat in droves. Try having a girlfriend and treat her like he treats me, you’ll see how rare it is to find someone who can tolerate him.”
“Does Phii Jo know that you’re being talked about like this? “
“Yeah, forget it, stop thinking on my behalf, I haven’t even thought anything yet.” I said, wondering how to make it clear that I really wasn’t thinking about anything. I didn’t want Ter to blame Phii Jo; he did nothing wrong. I didn’t want them to have bad feelings towards each other, better to blame the person for being an idiot.
“Who’s coming? That white Benz is blindingly beautiful.” Phii Ya said, looking towards the shop front. Phii Hill had arrived to pick us up. So, Ter and I said goodbye to Phii Ya and got into Phii Hill’s car, with Ter sitting in the front passenger seat and me in the back.
“Why do your eyes look red?” Phii Hill’s first question made Ter jump, and indeed, there was no escaping his observant eyes.
“Uh, I was about to cry.” Ter said quietly.
“Why would you cry?”
“Phii Jo.”
“What did Jo do?” Phii Hill asked sharply, which made me jump in surprise. Don’t you dare, Ter, Phii Hill is scary when he’s angry, and you know it, T^T
“Phii Jo did something to North.”
“What did he do?” Phii Hill asked, looking at me through the rearview mirror.
“Ter, you...there’s nothing, Phii. Ter’s just overthinking.”
“What are you overthinking about? Can you tell me?” Why is Phii Hill’s voice so gentle now? Sigh, I’m melting into the seat.
“I was just scared that North would overthink because the page was posting really harsh stuff. It wasn’t like this when I was dating.” Ter finally spilled everything.
“Oh, the page posted pictures of Jo?”
“Yeah, with North, have you seen it yet?”
“Not yet, I’ll check it out.” Phii Hill said, letting go of the steering wheel with one hand to reach over and pat Ter’s head, “Don’t cry, brave one.”
Ugh...
As for the page stuff, I wouldn’t cry over that.
I’d cry out of jealousy, this couple is always sweet from start to finish, this kind of love is what’s really enviable.
“Why are Phii Jo’s fans so intense?” Ter asked.
“Jo gives hope to everyone, that’s why.” Phii Hill answered, “But it’s calmed down a lot now.”
“True. If he’s still talking to others, he should stay away from my friend.”
Uh huh, Ter...
“Yes?”
And Phii Hill as well...
“So, do you think too much about it? “
“Oh. No, not at all. Didn’t think about it at all, Phii. “
“That’s good.” Phii Hill said only that before a beautiful car pulled up in front of the regular restaurant we often visit after work. Once we got to the table, we ordered food as usual. After a while, Phii Hill’s phone rang, seeming like someone was calling. Phii Hill glanced at the screen, sighed slightly, and excused himself to take the call.
...
(Hill. Have you picked him up yet?)
“You called just to ask that? Normally, you’d just message me. “
(I’m working, too lazy to type.)
“Didn’t you say you were taking a break? “
(It’s urgent. So, how did it go? Did you pick him up?)
“Yes. “
(What are you eating today?)
“Noodles, at the usual place.”
(What’s your heart made of, eating noodles every evening?)
“He wanted to eat it. “
(Can’t say no to your wife, huh?)
“Exactly. “
(Go eat something nice for a change, have some mercy on the money in my card.)
“He won’t go, what can I do about it? Stop transferring money, you beast. “
(Hurry up and use it, when will the money run out if you keep eating just noodles?)
“How can I spend it all? Buy him a car with that much money? “
(Go on, ask if he has a driver’s license yet.)
“Funny.”
(Who’s funny? Ask, what model do you want? Not the big one, that’s dangerous.)
“The kid probably knows how to drive.”
(Can you teach?)
“A bit less, he’s good at spending money, that’s the only thing he’s good at.”
(You’re killing me, does your wife do laundry often?)
“Yeah. Have you seen the page yet?”
(No, why?)
“My boyfriend is going to cry because of you.”
(Huh, what did I do now?)
“They posted your picture, probably you with him, imagine what your fans think.”
(...)
(Damn it.)
(And how is he now, okay?)
“It looks okay, he’s not overthinking. It’s fine because he doesn’t think about you that way.”
(Ass.)
“So what now, my boyfriend is overthinking instead.”
(I’ll handle it myself, the page admin likes to stir trouble, it’s annoying.)
“What about the comments?”
(Yeah, I’ll deal with it.)
“Plenty of girls in the lineup.”
(Working on it.)
“Ter said not to mess with his friend if you’re still flirting with others.”
(Understood.)
“So you have chosen him? “
(Yeah...I’ve chosen him for a long time.)
“Good. “
“In your messed-up life, you should get serious about someone. “
(Yeah.)
(Always scolding.)
“Try being gentle sometimes, can you do that? “
(That’s my limit. That’s all I can do for now.)
“What about the part-time job? Ter won’t even tell me that North has been secretly working. Seems like they really don’t want you to know. “
(Yeah. If they don’t want me to know, I won’t know.)
“Should I get him to watch over things? “
(No, change it to dad’s underling instead.)
“Sounds more believable to go and wreck a shop than to watch people. “
(If it can be done, it’s been done.)
“Up to you then. “
(Don’t go telling your boyfriend.)
“If I were to tell, I would have told him long ago. “
(Yeah, good person.)
“Anything else? “
(Spend all the money.)
“With this much money left, and you still have the audacity to dock his pay? The money in the card you gave me, it…”
(Use it quickly then.)
“Um, I’m thinking.”
(What?)
“Why do I have to go through all this trouble for someone like you?”
(The word ‘friend’ is the only thing keeping us together.)
“End this.”
(No can do, I met your dad the other day.)
“Why did you meet my dad?”
(To do business with your dad.)
“So I can’t escape you, huh?”
(Got it.)
“Sigh, fine, I’m leaving.”
(Okay.)
…
“North...Can I ask you something?” Phii Hill asked as soon as he sat back at the table. I, who was chewing a mouthful of meatballs, looked up at him.
“Yes?”
“Do you want anything right now?”
“What? Uh, want something, what do you mean?”
“Like a car, a house, a condo?”
“Wait, why would I want something like that?” I almost choked before quickly swallowing and responding, why ask something like this out of the blue?
“Nothing, just asking.” Phii Hill shook his head slightly before starting to eat the food he had just ordered, “Do you want to stop anywhere?”
“Can we stop at a bakery?” Ter asked.
“Sure, we can do that.” Phii Hill turned to give Ter a kind smile before asking me, “How about you, North?”
“No, thank you.” I said, feeling a bit shy. I didn’t feel like having sweets like Ter.
“Really? “
“Yes.” I nodded to confirm my answer. Not sure if I was imagining it, but Phii Hill seemed to want me to buy some snacks like Ter does, it’s happened several times.
It seemed like Phii Hill let out a small, exasperated sigh before looking up to ask me again.
“How’s it going with Jo’s debt? “
“Uh. It’s going well. I haven’t paid back a single baht yet.” I said with a forced smile.” Is he asking for it back? “
“No, and how are you counting this? “
“Phii Prang, the secretary, is the one handling the counting. Phii Johan just deducts. “
“Ah, I see. He probably doesn’t even remember how much North owes, does he? “
“Oh, is that so?” Two hundred thousand baht is nothing to him, T^T
“And about the deductions? “
“He deducts at every opportunity. Sometimes I don’t even know why he’s deducting. It’s like he wants the money, but at the same time, not really. “
“He doesn’t really want the money anyway.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows in response to his statement. Phii Hill didn’t reply and stood up to go pay the bill. I followed along with Ter.
“Hey, North, look at this. They shared it.” Ter nudged me and showed me his phone as we were walking back to the car.
—Shared Post
Urgent Announcement! The Cute Boy page of our university is gone, including the admins’ personal Facebook accounts. No one knows the real reason (though we’re sure there’s something behind it). Right now, the admins are very upset because all the photos and good memories we’ve worked hard to create are gone. Not sure if we can recover them, but if we decide to create a new page or anything like that, we’ll let you know. Oh no, I can’t tweet about our husbands anymore.
“The page is gone, this must be the karma from bad mouthing you.” Ter said. I just agreed with him. Starting a new page might be good. And if they’re smart, they’d change the admins too. Phii Pin is good, she’s nosy, always sneaking pictures, sometimes it’s just ridiculous.
“Phii Hill, that page is gone.” Ter told Phii Hill as soon as he got into the car.
“Really? “
“Wow, that’s great, the comments bashing North are gone too.”
“That’s really good, isn’t it?”
“But I don’t know how they disappeared.”
“Someone with money to spare probably paid someone to do it.”
“Hmm? That person must not like the page either.” Ter said, clearly relieved and happy, he’s been overthinking on my behalf and now he’s relieved for me too, you’re really a good person.
Once we got back to the dorm, I dropped my bag onto the table and flopped onto the bed as usual when I came home tired, and today was another tiring day.
“North, I wanted to ask you something.”
“What is it?”
“What do you think about Phii Johan? You guys talk a lot, meet often, he picks you up and drops you off, you’ve slept together, he even lends you his clothes.”
“Why are you asking out of the blue? Usually, you’re just teasing.”
“Just asking, after what happened today, I’m not okay with it, it’s like you’re being attacked when you haven’t done anything.”
“You’re overthinking again.” I answered, shaking my head, “I don’t care about being bashed. What can they do to me?”
“And all the times I teased you, I didn’t tell anyone else, I just wanted to tease you a bit. You don’t overthink when I tease, right?” Ter said with a stressed face, furrowing his brows as if he might cry, here we go again, he’s quick to cry, why so sensitive about stuff like this? Well, I guess it’s a good trait to care about others’ feelings.
“Yeah, I don’t overthink. Even if you pair me up with some random person, I won’t get mad, okay? If you cry again, I’ll throw away your lens.”
“North, why are you so cute like this?”
“I’m not comforting you, go die.”
“See, you’re making someone blush.”
“Goosebumps, you animal.” I said, sighing. I really don’t like this kind of drama.
“But Phii Johan isn’t involved with anyone anymore, you know. Maybe he likes you, picking you up and dropping you off like this, lending you clothes, giving you money. If he really does like you, what would you do?”
“...”
I paused for a moment, to be honest, there have been times when I’ve secretly thought about it. I mean, it’s natural to think about it with all these signs, but I’ve chosen to not pay much attention, just like with Phii Tharn’s case. I don’t want to find an answer. I don’t want to think about it and give myself a headache.
“I really don’t know. Honestly, I never really thought about it. “
“Why? “
“I truly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to overthink, I mean...I’ve just had my heart broken. You know, and I also don’t like cluttering my mind with too much. It’s not exactly that I’m not ready for someone, I just can’t explain it. “
“That’s very confusing. “
“Exactly. But if I really like someone and I’m sure about it, I’m not a complicated person. I’d be good to them, make them understand. “
“Romantic, huh? “
“Yeah, I’m that kind of romantic guy. But right now, it’s just day by day, I guess. Some days I still think about him. “
“North...”
“I know, I know, it’s not about anything else. Just when I think of him, it pops into my head, but it’s weird, as soon as I think of him, the next person I think about is Phii Johan. It’s like my mind is reminding me I’ve got this huge debt hanging over me, and it’s also a reminder that my big problems come from thinking about him too much, but I don’t blame him. “
“So right now, it’s...? “
“It’s what?” I repeated, not understanding.
“Your heart, how is it? “
“I don’t want to think about it. Just letting it be. “
“Isn’t that too easy going? Someone else would be going crazy with worry, especially with someone like Phii Johan always hovering around. “
“Hovering? That’s an interesting choice of words.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“And the question I asked earlier. If Phii Johan likes you, what would you do? Do you have an answer now?” I furrowed my brows at Ter, why ask the same thing multiple times? Haven’t I given an answer already?
“Are you trying to stir things up again? “
“No, this one is serious. I want to know where my ship is heading. Will it sink or what? Is there even a chance, or are you not okay with it? “
“If he likes me? “
“Yeah. “
“Hmm...Well, I wouldn’t do anything, what am I supposed to do? “
“Sigh. I shouldn’t have asked you.” Ter said with a sigh, “So, what do you think Phii Jo thinks about you?”
“Should I have some sort of enlightenment about everything? Why do I have to be asked these things?” I said, feeling annoyed. Why do I have to deal with these questions?
“Guess, you can tell when Phii Tharn likes you, right?”
“Who wouldn’t notice? He’s been patting my head so much I’m nearly bald.”
“Yeah, right.” Ter said, letting out a laugh, “So, any guesses?”
“Well, sometimes I think, but who flirts like that?”
“Do what?”
“Curses at me like I’ve burned his house down.”
“Maybe it’s their way of flirting, the aggressive type.”
“Well, then, what if Phii Hill cursed at you like that?”
“I’d be startled.”
“Exactly.”
“But because it’s you, if someone approached you subtly like Phii Tharn, you’d probably just keep them in the friend zone. Maybe this is a new flirting strategy.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know, but I want to know, what should I do?”
“Reduce your curiosity, maybe your life would be happier.”
“Wow, you’re being mean now, are you influenced by Phii Jo?”
“Crazy, that’s just me.”
“So you’re going to keep being clueless like this? Regarding Phii Jo’s fans, and Phii Jo himself?”
“Yeah, whatever happens, happens, damn, you’re making such a fuss about me.”
“It’s because I care, as a friend.”
“Alright.”
“Annoyance.”
Chapter 10: Only Fools Do What I Do
Jaja: Hey
Jaja: Are you free?
Jaja: I’m stressed, you know
Jaja: Can we talk?
Jaja: Honestly, I’d rather meet you
Jaja: I really want to hug you
Jaja: Sorry, I’m typing without even thinking, haha
Jaja: If you’re free, please reply. I don’t have anyone else to talk to anymore
I furrowed my brows as I looked at the chat screen that had been sent to me about an hour ago, hesitating on how to reply. Why does it have to be now? Sending messages during class, who could concentrate on studying after this?
North♣: Sorry, I’m in class.
Jaja: Sorry, sorry, I thought class was over.
Jaja: What time do you finish?
North♣: At 4 PM.
Jaja: Okay, I’ll wait. Sorry for not informing you earlier.
Jaja: I’ll wait for you under your faculty building.
Jaja: Before I knew it, I was already here, haha.
Jaja: Are you studying at your own faculty? If not, I’ll be waiting here for nothing, haha.
“Shit.” I couldn’t help but exclaim when I read that she was waiting under the faculty building. Damn, she’s at another university, why is she here?
“What?” Duennao looked up to ask, irritated, as if I had disturbed his secret nap.
“Nothing. “
“Who are you chatting with now? Not paying attention in class. “
“Look at yourself first.” I said. Nao didn’t respond and just slumped back onto the desk to continue sleeping.
North♣: Still studying
North♣: Is it urgent?
Jaja: Not exactly, but I can’t take it anymore, haha.
North♣: That big of an issue?
Jaja: Big for me.
Jaja: Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.
Jaja: But I...
Jaja: I really can’t handle it. ;(
North♣: It’s okay, don’t worry, I’ll come down after class.
North♣: You can wait at the coffee shop under the faculty.
Jaja: Okay, see you there.
After class, I packed my bag with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to see her. I really wasn’t ready to see her, especially since I had told Ter the other day that sometimes I still think about her. To say I feel nothing at all would be a lie. I do feel something, but I didn’t want to go back, so I didn’t want to see her either.
But if she’s waiting under the faculty like this, I guess I can’t avoid it. It seems urgent. If I had to guess, it might be something about her new boyfriend.
“Idiot.”
“Me?” I turned around at the sound of the insult from Skater.
“Is Je waiting for you downstairs?” Skater asked with a serious tone, furrowing his brows. When I told them that Jaw was waiting for me under the faculty, the three friends all made sour faces.
“Damn idiot, meeting her after her new boyfriend just hit you.”
“Seriously, I hit him first.” I said honestly.
“That’s because he did something wrong.” Nao added with another serious face, sounding quite displeased, “Do you think we’d let you go?”
“I know, but what can I do? She’s been waiting for a while now.”
“Just ignore her, when she left you, she didn’t think about it.”
“Nao, you need to chill. “
“How am I supposed to chill, you know how it was when you; my friend got drunk like a dog.” Nao turned to argue, looking quite heated right now. I understand, because I was really hurt, and all my friends, including Ter, felt the same. That’s why no one likes her at all.
“I don’t want to meet her either, but what am I supposed to do?” I said. She attends a different university, far away, and has been waiting for me for so long. It’s not right to tell her to go back. Just meeting her for a brief moment shouldn’t be a big deal.” It’s fine, just for a moment. “
“Why are you so stubborn? “
“Get it, you need to chill. “
“I should ask how you’re not upset, you bastard. “
“Because I’m calmer than you guys. I know you’re worried, but let North decide for himself. Even if he gets hurt, he’ll come back to lick his wounds eventually. “
“In the end, he’ll come back to us.” Kyu said.
“Come back to what, no, it’s over, I’m fine now. “
“Big talk.” Nao said.
“I really won’t go back, no matter what.” I reiterated what I had told them before.” I’m just going to see her. “
“Your body might not go back, but your feelings have already left, North. “
“Should we come along? “
“She’d be uncomfortable to death.” I said.
“Are you going to go anyway? “
“Oh come on, why the drama? “
“Then remember this, this woman left you to find someone better. No matter what happens, remember that. Don’t be soft-hearted. She chose what’s best for her. She chose someone better, and she’s decided that person isn’t you. “
“Woah, damn.” I exclaimed at Kyu’s words. He’d said this before, but it hits hard every time.” One sentence from you and I’m speechless. “
“I just want to emphasize, if you’re thinking of going back, think hard about whether this is the person you want to give your heart to again. “
“You’re talking like she’s going to ask for forgiveness.” I raised an eyebrow, puzzled.
“What could she possibly want? Coming here to find you, because in the end, she realized you’re the one she can depend on. When she thinks like that, she’ll also think she shouldn’t have left you, especially when you loved her so much.”
“And if she wants to get back together, what will you do?” Nao asked me.
“Reject her outright.” Skater quickly answered, “Just reject her, don’t be an idiot and think about it.”
“I know.” I said.
“Yeah, let’s go, we’ll watch over you.” Duennao said, “Keep an eye on you.”
“It’s not necessary.”
“We’ll sit at another table, just in case something happens.”
“What could possibly happen?”
“I don’t know, we’ll see.”
I sat down in the chair opposite Ja, who was in her university uniform, one I’d only seen in photos before. She was already waiting for me at the coffee shop under the faculty. Some people from my faculty turned to look, probably because they were surprised to see someone from another university here.
“I’ve never seen you in this uniform before, it’s quite different.” Ja started the conversation to break the awkwardness between us. Come to think of it, we hadn’t seen each other since we graduated.
“Same.” I said because I had only dated Ja, and meeting an ex like this felt a bit awkward for me too.
“Did you cut your hair?” I asked.
“Yeah, I got tired of long hair. Not sure if it suits me. What do you think? Does it look strange?”
“No. Just not used to it.”
“Right. I’ve had long hair since high school. At first, it was a bit strange, but it’s nice, it dries quickly after washing.”
“So, what’s up?” I brought the conversation to the main reason she came to see me.
“Ah...” She looked down, her hands clasped tightly on the table, her lips pressed together as if she didn’t really want to talk about it, “I...just broke up with Temp.”
I wasn’t really surprised.
“Really? Who initiated the breakup?”
“Temp, I guess. I don’t know, we fought. We fought a lot while we were together. Me and you never fought this intensely.”
I nodded in understanding. When we were together, we hardly ever fought, mainly because of my laid-back nature.
“What’s going on? “
“Temp is dating someone else. I caught him, just like you said, that we fought because I was angry that Temp cheated on me, right?” Ja looked up, her voice trembling as tears started to fall, her nose and cheeks turning red.
“I...I prayed it wasn’t true. I tried to believe what Temp said, that you were the one causing trouble even though he hadn’t done anything, hik. “
“Hik, hik, but I found out he really does have someone else. “
“I...hik. “
“Calm down.” I said, seeing her in distress. I reached out to hand her a tissue, which she took and quickly wiped her tears. Damn...these feelings of not wanting to see her cry, wanting to comfort her, to pamper her, can they just go away?
“Thank you. “
“For what? “
“For going and confronting him...for me. Thank you for protecting me. “
“...”
“Um.”
“...”
“Forget it, just stop crying first. “
“Now that it’s like this, I keep thinking about you all the time. You took such good care of me, but I couldn’t keep you. “
Disaster...
Just like what Kyu said.
“Forget it, don’t talk about it.” I cut her off before she could say more.
“If you hadn’t broken up with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have come looking for me, right? “
Ja looked stunned after hearing my words, then sobbed even harder. I sneakily glanced at my good friends who had secretly followed to watch.
Only Kyu didn’t seem too bothered. Meanwhile, Nao and Skater looked furious. If they could, they would probably have dragged me out by the collar.
“I’m sorry. “
“It’s nothing, forget about it.” I repeated, “So the big thing you mentioned is breaking up with him?”
“Uh...there’s more...I, I want to forgive Temp, but the real reason for the breakup is that Temp has to move somewhere else. So my options are to break up or forgive and wait. Just forgiving is hard enough, and now I have to wait for Temp for several more years, but I still don’t want to let Temp go. So I’m really confused.”
“Move somewhere else?”
“Yeah, abroad, not sure where yet. It seems his dad is being transferred.”
“Ah...so he has to move too?”
“Not exactly, Temp said he doesn’t want to stay here anymore. He can’t stay anymore. I’m not sure what he means by that. We barely talked.”
What does ‘can’t stay anymore’ mean...
And why do I have to listen to this Phii Temp s story?
“So I wanted to ask you.”
“Ask what?”
“I actually went and asked Tim...Tem’s friend, who was in a fight with your group that day. Tim said he’s also affected, has to move but doesn’t know where, just knows it’s a different place from Temp. I’m confused about what’s really happening. Tim told me to ask you. I asked other friends, but no one told me anything. What’s going on? Do you know anything?”
“Uh...No. I don’t know at all.” I said, with a head full of conflicting thoughts. What’s going on, and why send you to ask me?
“Really? Not the person who helped you that day?”
“Huh?” I was taken by surprise.
Ah...
It could be.
If it’s Phii Johan, it’s possible.
But...
“...”
“Hey.”
“What are you spacing out for? Was it the person who came to help you?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t know. “
“Uh, can you try asking him, Temp...I’m sorry, but Temp didn’t deserve to be transferred, isn’t that a bit too harsh? Especially since you started the trouble.”
“...”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. “
“It’s okay, it’s true. I started it. “
Didn’t you just thank me for protecting you?
“Well, I’d like to ask you to help me find out, can you? “
“No.”
“Oh, why? “
“If you find out who did it, what will you do? “
“Me?...I probably can’t do anything. “
“That’s right. So don’t find out. I can’t do anything about it either.” Yes. If it turns out to be Phii Johan, even if he wanted to send Temp off the planet, I couldn’t do anything about it. And honestly, I don’t really want to help; I’m not that good of a person.
“But...Temp isn’t that bad.” She started repeating herself like she was being petulant, which she always does when she doesn’t get what she wants. “It’s too cruel. When he didn’t do anything that bad.”
“How can you know for sure? Temp might have done something else you don’t know about. “
“...”
“No, I know everything, hik.”
“There’s nothing more to say, right?” I said, getting ready to stand up.
“No...no, hik, there’s more...” Jee interjected before I could leave. I had to sit back down.” Tiger…”
“Huh? “
“Tiger. Do you know someone named Tiger? He seems to study engineering here too.”
“Ah, yes, I know him, he’s my friend, why?”
“I overheard Temp and Tim talking about Tiger too, it seems there might be another issue if it involves Tiger. Could you try to find out if you can?” The person opposite me spoke before reaching for a tissue to wipe her tears again.
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” I said, wondering how Tiger got involved in this.
Oh...
Now I get it.
Nao was also involved in the fight, so Tiger probably couldn’t stay out of it either.
Why didn’t I think of that before?
“Thanks.”
“Okay, is there anything else?”
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“No problem.” I said.
“When there’s no one left, I always have you.”
“...”
“I’m sorry for anything I did or said wrong. It was my fault. Would it be bad if I said I want to talk to you again, North? It might look bad, but I won’t have anyone else from now on. I’m sorry. Can we start anew? At least, let’s talk as friends.”
…
“Are you still alive?”
“Yes.”
“Are you doing well?”
“I’m good.”
“Not drinking alcohol anymore?”
“No.”
“Dog looks down, you see, I told you.” Nao said as if he had been waiting to add insult to injury, “I knew it, how could you handle hearing ‘can we start anew’? It’s going nowhere.”
“So, she really wants to get back together?” Kyu asked.
“He said she wants to start anew.” Skater answered instead.” Start anew with the same person. “
“What the hell.” I said.
“She still loves you? “
“No, she didn’t say that. “
“Then what’s it about? “
“Well...at first, she seemed worried about Temp, like she still had feelings, but then she said she wanted to talk to me, which confused me, the bastard. “
“Maybe he just wants to keep you as an option. “
“As a backup, because right now, she still can’t cut ties with Temp. “
“So you; my friend is going to be a backup? “
“What did you tell him? “
“I said it’s not going to happen, that this is better.” I answered as I had told Ja earlier.
“That’s pretty decisive. “
“But why are you looking so down? “
“Feeling shaken? “
“You; my friends, say a lot, but I’m tough. Otherwise, my liver would be the one getting hard. “
“You’re not drinking anymore, huh? “
“Last time you got drunk like a dog, you ended up with a boyfriend. “
“Shut up.” I cursed at Skater once before we talked a bit more and then parted ways. I headed straight back because there was nothing else to do at the university.
Easter: North
Easter: Ja came looking for you!?
Huh?
North♣: How did you know that? So quickly.
Easter: Skater told me.
North♣: I told you. Good at talking too much.
Easter: Why did you go then?!
North♣: Nothing really.
North♣: Hardly talked at all.
Easter: Don’t hide it.
Faster: Tell me, tell me.
North♣: There’s absolutely nothing, man.
North♣: Heard you’re studying?
North♣: Just focus on your studies.
Easter: No, I want to know, I can’t even study because of this.
Easter: What did you talk about?
Easter: Did she come to our faculty?
Easter: What did she say?
I decided to ignore Ter’s chat and instead scrolled to find Tiger’s chat. I’d explain everything to Ter when he gets back; it’s better that way. Speaking of chats, I haven’t talked to Phii Johan in almost a week. Probably because he’s been busy, as I’ve heard Ter complaining that Phii Hill hasn’t had time either. But even if he were free, why would he come to talk to me?
North♣: Tiger
North♣: Are you free? Please respond.
Less than ten minutes later, Tiger responded to the chat immediately.
Tg.: What?
Tg.: I’m not free.
Tg.: For you.
North♣: Tiger
North♣: I’m suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
Tg.: Why?
North♣: It’s like I’ve been holding someone’s secret for a long time.
North♣: But I can’t keep it anymore.
North♣: It’s suffocating.
North♣: I think I need to tell you soon.
Tg.: What’s so suffocating?
Tg.: It’s not even your business.
Tg.: Come on, what’s up?
North♣: Can you call?
Tg.: Sure.
North♣: Nao.
Tg.: I’m here.
Tg.: I can go talk on the balcony.
North♣: Okay, pick up.
And with that, I quickly dialed Tiger.
(What’s up?) As soon as he picked up, he spoke with an annoyed tone, probably disturbed while spending time with his wife.
“I want to ask. “
(What?)
“About those guys, Temp, that we had issues with. Did you do something about it?”
(...)
“Why are you silent?”
(How did you find out?)
“Ja, my ex, came to see me earlier. She told me about his boyfriend being transferred. At first, she hinted it was because of Phii Johan, but then your name slipped out too. The more I think about it, you’ve never let anyone who messed with Nao off the hook, have you? “
(Oh, so the one named Ja told you, huh?)
“Oh, yeah, Ja said those guys told her to come ask me.”
(You should have asked him, not me.)
“It’s easier to ask you.” I said from the heart. Asking Tiger seemed much simpler than trying to get something out of Phii Johan, who, besides not giving me an answer, might even curse me back.
(I’m too lazy to tell. Can I not tell it?)
“That’s funny, just tell me.”
(When did you become so curious?)
“Just curious, is it hard to tell?”
(Not hard. Just don’t want to. What should I do? I’m really not in the mood to tell.)
“Tiger.” I lowered my voice to jokingly threaten him again.
(Heh, every time you call me that, you’re threatening me. I’ll give you the short version, don’t tell Nao, okay?)
“Okay.”
(The day Nao came back to the room with a split lip and eyebrow, I was really pissed. No matter how much I tried to get it out of Nao, he wouldn’t say who did it, but honestly, it wasn’t hard to find out. I wanted the CCTV footage from that day, but when I went to the shop, they said someone had already bought it.)
“...”
(It was your Phii Johan. So I had to go look for him.)
“Go look for him? Do you know him too?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise while asking. Tiger never told me he had met him or knew him; he never showed any reaction when we talked about him.
(A little, I met him back when I used to race.)
“You used to race too?”
(Back then, sometimes we’d run into each other at the track. Who wouldn’t remember a black Bugatti that beautiful?)
“Have you ever raced against him?”
(Yeah, he’d call me a brat to my face, but he’s good, I’ve even ridden in his car before.)
“You have?”
(He’s really good at drifting, truly top-notch.)
“Yeah, really.” Phii Johan is really good at driving, even if he doesn’t know much about these things, but from my experience riding with him, whether in a car or on Ter’s bike, I can say he’s the best. The best, right to the edge of hell.
“And you didn’t say anything about knowing.
(Was it necessary?)
“Huh. “
(Back to the point, when I went to confront him, he said it was already cleared up.)
“Cleared up how? Aren’t you explaining this too briefly? “
(You’re being too nosy. Initially, I wanted the camera footage to force them out of the uni.)
“Hey, but I started it that day. “
(That day was that day, I don’t mind, the issue was they wouldn’t end it. He said they had agreed to settle it. They broke their word.)
“So, Temp got kicked out?”
(Yes.)
“How did you know? “
(I just knew. And Tim too, he hit Nao first that day.)
“Oh, so you dealt with Tim, and Temp was handled by Phii Jo? “
(Exactly.)
“And about transferring them, how did you manage that? “
(They had a bad record, so it was easy. Are you satisfied now? Why all these questions?)
“Just transferred? You didn’t do anything else, right?” I asked, secretly thinking there might be more to it. Judging by how scary Tiger can be when he’s angry.
(Uh, just a little hammer to his precious arm, I did.)
“You did what? “
(The right arm, he used it to hit Nao eight times. Saw it on the camera.)
“Shit...”
(If he’s right-handed, then he’s in for a rough life from now on.)
“Damn. You, that’s too harsh, isn’t it?”
(Well, he did it to Nao first. He’ll get better soon.)
“Ha, where does one grow an extra arm, huh, you tiger. You did that?”
(Grow what? I didn’t cut off his arm.)
“Oh.”
(Just break it and it can heal. In a cast for a few months, but I didn’t do it like I would have because of the Temp issue. You’re wrong. You attacked first. If Temp had attacked first, he might have ended up in full-body casts.)
“Enough, why do this?”
(Are you scared or what?)
“Honestly...yeah, it’s scary, both of them.”
(Well, in my case, you’d call it great love.)
“So, Nao got hit first? At first, Kyu said Nao hit Tim first.”
(No, no, he hit Nao first.)
“Ah, you are looking out for him, but he doesn’t even know.”
(Hehe, and you, if no one tells you, you wouldn’t know.)
“How would I know?”
(And have you realized you like him yet?)
“What?”
(Phii Johan and you.)
“What? I don’t.”
(You don’t, but the other one, he’s going crazy.)
“...”
(Silent, are you embarrassed?)
“Embarrassed about what?”
(Pretend you don’t know. You’re not stupid, are you, North? Seriously, if what I’m saying is true, would you still say he doesn’t have feelings for you?)
“...”
(Answer me, you bastard.)
“Yeah, yeah, I understand. So what, I...”
(Don’t like him?)
“Yes. I haven’t thought about it. We’ve just met, and he’s never said he likes me or tried to court me. How could he like someone like me, that’s a whole other issue.” I said it according to my thoughts. It’s true what Tiger said...I’ve felt at times that there might be something, but as I’ve said, I don’t want to overthink it.” I don’t want to overthink, especially about love. “
(Right, someone like you. You don’t think about anything all day.)
“Hey, now you’re insulting me. “
(But if he decides to make you think, you’ll be thinking all day for sure.)
“How so? “
(I don’t know, just saying. Anyway, I’m off to hug my wife.)
“You’ll just get kicked back by him. “
(Worth it. Oh, one more thing, I’m not that close or familiar with him, but I think you should be cautious. I’ve only told you this much, and you’re already saying he’s scary.)
“Cautious about what? “
(Everything you can think of.)
“So, you don’t know? “
(Yes, I don’t know, and I don’t care about you. I’m off, bye. And don’t tell anyone, including Ja, be careful.)
“Careful about Ja?”
(Be careful with Phii Jo.)
“Why? “
(Figure it out yourself.)
“Ah, okay, okay. “
I kind of understand what Tiger is getting at. If Phii Johan really likes me...uh, why does saying it like this make me embarrassed? I feel like I’ve just swallowed a frog or something. It makes me look self-absorbed, doesn’t it? Yeah, that’s right. If he knew Jaw came to see me at the faculty, he probably wouldn’t be too pleased, judging by how he dealt with Temp’s situation...
Does he really like me?
And why would he like me?
When I think about it like this, it just leads to more questions without answers. Better to go back to not thinking about it at all.
Ding!
Dong!
Oh man, Ter! Why the barrage of messages now? Ever since I talked to Tiger. I quickly opened the chat, typed out a response to hopefully end it, so he’d stop messaging.
North♣: Yeah. She wanted to get back together, are you happy now?!
Johan: ?
Damn.
Wrong chat…