I have been in the animal industry for 15 years—a drop in the bucket. However, something that has been a pretty consistent theme during my training career is that the owners will most likely NOT do the work that the trainer is asking of them. I have a hard time with this mentality. I also have a hard time because most trainers speak about training being a “relationship”. For those of you reading who are professionals as well, who may use the term “relationship” what does that mean to you, and how do you teach it?
If I am going to teach someone that this is a “relationship” I must learn about their lifestyle. We have to talk about what is realistic for their house. What may work for me and my schedule and my job probably won’t work for someone who has a 9-5, kids, and not my years of experience.
What does schedule and capability have to do with “relationship”—well everything. We have to get away from the romanticized definition of “relationship”. I don’t need the dog to fall in love with me, be my best friend, or know me best. I need the dog to understand me and I understand the dog. This is true of any relationship. This clarity will allow for such a good,pure, honest relationship. Something I strive to share with everyone I work with.
By understanding the owners schedule I am working with, and the capabilities of the handler I can help devise a plan alongside them, not for them, where they are practicing what I am teaching them and have realistic goals. The reason I see most people “not follow direction” is because what they are being asked to do is not realistic for their lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong there are certainly cases where it is my professional opinion to not deviate from certain things. However, that is the conversation I have with the owner. How because of the severity of the issue we are addressing there is little room for modification while we are addressing the behavior. If this is something they are not willing or able to accept we talk about our other options—which comes down to this is not the right fit for your household.
Keeping the owner blind to what you are thinking or what is possible only causes frustration. Assuming they are just not going to cooperate is unfair to the family and the dog. Not being communicative as far as giving a family options in training and paths shows limitations to your capabilities, and offers you a perfect opportunity to consult with colleagues or mentors.
Personally I work with very intelligent, caring people. I mean they showed up searching for answers. It would be an insult for me to filter what I think based on assumptions, even if I have had experience with people not sticking to a plan.
Another perspectiveI I have adopted is that if someone is deviating from the plan, perhaps they are needing help devising a new plan. Life happens and I have more success when I take that into consideration because what I find is my students are extremely honest and open with me about what is going on at home. They know they face no judgement from me for mistakes they are making at home. I tell them, at the end of the day I can only advise them with the information they offer, and that if something goes wrong it is their lesson to learn. I am not going to abandon them, but if we are dealing with a biter—the rules we agree to are to protect the dog, the owner, and the public. Just because someone is paying me for my expertise does not mean I am responsible for their actions when they take the dog home. Getting offended or frustrated with your student, shows that you are taking it personally. I have had to learn to let it go once a student has taken their dog out of my care and guidance. Let it go and be the voice of reason they can come to when something goes awry. As I state to any owner who comes to me for training; I am not fixing an issue—my job is to show what the dog is capable of, typically I offer a board and train because I can start tearing down old foundation as much as possible and setting a new one, connect with the owner so that I may teach them skills to communicate with their dog.
I share my failures and successes with my students on a weekly bases. This allows us to relate, because perfection is unattainable. Life is unpredictable.
Be patient with your students who you see are really putting in the work—even if the work is not perfect. Don’t allow things to slide—-just be patient.
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No matter what level of training you are at:
Go out, train your dog, learn what you can, and move forward.
📸: recent behavior rehabs: Checo, Nala, Chowder, Bella
