Day 003.10.13.2022. 0823H
Coffee: Aik Cheong Cappuccino with Choco Granules. If I could, I would have put more granules but let's not get greedy. Weirdo lol.
Good morning people. I have woken up quite early today which is pretty unusual of me because I usually wake up around 1000H. I say this day is up to a good start.
It's already Day 3 of feeling wondrous. I feel pumped and excited. I have quite a few things to accomplish today; read and buy grocery and do laundry and read again (one I'm excited for is the Atomic Habits by James Clear, by far amazing read for those of you like me who want to shape good habits). Sometimes, days like this make you realize how comforting it is to worry less when you've basically been dealing with recurring Anxiety for years.
Anxiety as defined by WedMD.com is "your brain's way of reacting to stress and alerting you of potential danger ahead. They’re a group of mental illnesses that cause constant and overwhelming anxiety and fear."
I may have been dealing with anxiety since 2016 when I was still in college. I never did go to have myself diagnosed since basically I'm living with my school allowance and I cannot afford to visit the doctor. One of things I do remember is that projects in Architecture school, where we usually display our works up in the gallery, gave me so much stress and fear. "Oh, they're gonna see how bad my output is." "What will they say about my rendering technique?" "Did I approach this problem critically? What if it's a shallow solution?" and so on. Where I went, the school's curriculum usually goes like this;
You're given a problem → Propose a series of schematic for potential solution → Get critiqued constructively by your professors → Get approved → Present your final concept board
This cycle became so tiring for me that whenever the critique day comes, my chest would palpitate so badly and I would hate all the coffee I had to take prior. I had carried this dilemma up to the moment I'm already working. Client meetings usually stress me out as I am continuously critiqued and revisions are asked.
It was then that I notice that I worry even with the smallest of things and it started to affect my daily life. I worry whenever I had to talk to my mom; whenever I need to talk to a stranger, etc. I had to constantly take a pause at work whenever I feel that my anxiety is becoming difficult to bear. I started to visit my Psychiatrist to help me ease my chronic headache and palpitations. I am currently doing therapy to help me deal with stressful situations. I almost always know that whenever I am about to deal with a difficult task, I am gonna have to deal with anxiety again that's why I had the urge to help myself deal with the process. I have a couple of things I usually do:
Note: This is not a guide. I don't claim to be an expert on this but I want to share what I do and what works for me. You may consult your doctor to know what will help you deal with anxiety.
Meditate - This is something I learned during my therapy. There was a particular mantra that I usually say as I meditate to somehow reinforce the idea to my head. "You are okay just the way you are." Being mindful helps me to be present in the moment and not have to worry about problems that are basically not there yet.
Organize - Right before the review classes start, I rearranged my room, bought my pens, highlighters, notepads etc. It comforts me whenever I see my desk and table complete with the things I need for review. It definitely took away my worrying of "I ran out of ink" or "I need this highlighter color asap" This may not be a good thing to put up here. Some might argue that over-organizing can be a symptom of another mental disorder. That is true, but by being organized helps to get my mind in order.
Walk / Go out a lot - I am the type of person who stays at home most of the time. It was lately that I realized the daily dose of sunlight and just generally being on the outside helped a lot with my perspective of things. It's ALWAYS a plus of you do your exercise!
Get a Good Sleep - This is probably one of the factors why I had difficulty during Architecture school. I usually lack sleep in a day. Your mind usually performs better if you had a good sleep the night prior. I try to get at least 7 hours of sleep a day. It helps improve my mood and focus in general.
Read some self help books - One example of the books I read is the Atomic Habits (highly suggested!). It helps me eliminate the bad habits that reinforce my anxiety as I am made aware of what to look for and how to process my thoughts.
Eat healthy - I usually eat fast food and we all know that fast food contribute to bad cholesterol that can actually worsen my palpitations. Eating healthy helps prevent the risk of heart problems that can rise from anxiety.
Limit coffee intake - this is a sad thing to put up here for someone who basically lives with coffee but caffeine intake increases your blood pressure. I had to limit my coffee intake from time to time.
Most of the things I follow, I read about them or they were suggested by my therapist. As I strictly follow this (and I am on Day 3!), I will continuously update you how it improves my mental health and day-to-day life. It usually also helps whenever you do things that make you feel even a small sense of accomplishment. For me it was my daily skincare routine. I see small improvements and it is always a good feeling to have!
Remember that whenever you feel anxious about something, pause, take a deep breath, and try to be present in the moment. You can always seek professional help if things feel a bit overwhelming.
For readers who go through the same as I am, things will be better. :)
xx
Mel