Author's note: For those who have stuck around for long and followed this page, you know I haven't been posting for almost a year. This BMC was previously created to support my Twitch channel but I decided to add more content and rename.
A lot has happened the past year and they will probably show in my contents to come. I struggled with work, went through a couple of mental breakdowns, regularly goes to therapy to name a few. Slowly we are getting better. There's absolutely zero reason for you to be here, but you are anyway. Thank you for sticking around <3.
Day 001.10.11.2022.1003H
This is an unusual day for me. I woke up feeling ok. As is the reason for this hopefully-not-only-today mini-blog.
I wanted to write down my thoughts. I feel like I need an outlet. I was kinda hoping this be it, you know, the outlet. At some point I know that by the time this Day 001 entry becomes Day 314 or 789, you'd be long bored to know what goes through this big head of mine. That is, of course, if I ever reach that day (by reach, I mean if I'd still be writing this up to Day xxx. Don't overthink people.)
The past days and months have been extremely gloomy and sad. The ups and downs of the everyday is tiring. One day you're all energized and happy then one moment you're sad and mad and whatnot. My regular therapy session is truly helping me cope up. If there's one thing I remember that my therapist told me is this: You are okay just the way you are. I don't have to feel okay if I am truly not. I let myself feel what I have to feel. I will talk more about this in a separate entry.
I feel okay today. I got up 0843H. Made myself coffee which I hadn't done so in weeks (it was Aik Cheong Cappuccino flavor, good coffee). Been a bit productive since I organized my desk. I started doing my skincare routine again. Now I am writing.
You might say I should be reviewing now and I will say that to myself too so... this is enough for now.
Baby steps. Glad I feel that my small achievements matter. I just hope this marks the day I'd be /ok/ living my life.
xx,
Mel