"When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving,” ~ Kim McMillen
Self-love is an on-going conscious choice!
Things changed drastically after I began to practise deliberately selecting myself above other people, hurtful situations, and unfulfilling friendships and partnerships.
Here are a few instances from my own life that demonstrate the necessity of practising self-love.
You'll begin to sense more control over your life
I came to see that I always had options. I might make poor decisions because of guilt, shame, or fear, or I could make decisions that were empowered, in line with who I was and what felt real to me. I thus stopped attempting to satisfy others, giving attention to men who weren't deserving of it, and engaging in activities that didn't make me feel good or satisfied.
When you begin to value yourself more, you will also come to understand that you have the power to respect your needs and wants.
You'll establish stricter limitations for romantic relationships
Honouring my needs allowed me to become more self-assured and aggressive. I got more deliberate about dating. I stopped wasting time on bad boys and began making more informed love decisions. The end result: after years of dating failure, I finally am at peace with my romantic life.
You'll feel more empowered when you set stronger boundaries out of a place of self-love and you'll stop selecting partners who aren't right for you all the time.
You'll give up looking for approval
The most empowering thing was this. I stopped caring about how much other people liked or approved of me as I learned to love and respect myself more. I gave up trying to win people over. As a result, I was able to be more myself, less defensively, and authentically.
You begin to care less about other people's opinions of you and begin leading a life that is consistent with your own ideals when you have gained your own approval and acceptance.
You'll begin to make more brave and thoughtful choices
You'll have the confidence to let go of things that don't serve you and make room for things that will enable you to advance if you have self-love. Making choices that honour rather than degrade oneself is a sign that you actually love yourself.
You'll begin to enjoy spending time alone
To stop feeling lonely, I stopped cramming my days full with appointments, dates, and activities OR SLEEP. I put an end to escaping into the arms of inappropriate men. I quit going out with friends just to be alone.
As a substitute, I began to do more of the activities I like, such as swimming, yoga, writing, watching movies, and meditating. Spending time alone didn't seem frightening after I had a profound connection with myself. I gave up worrying about being alone.
You'll discover that when you start liking yourself more, you'll start to feel more at ease in your own gorgeous company.
You'll have a more solid bond with yourself
I developed a stronger bond with myself as I spent more time alone. I started having more fun on my own, which made me less desperate for a romantic connection. I became my own best pal. As I began to connect with my own inner self, I began to feel more safe as a person. I began to have greater confidence in myself. I gained more self-confidence.
Self-love helps you connect with yourself more deeply, and it also helps you connect with others more deeply. Your relationships with others strengthen as your relationship with yourself does.
You'll be closer to yourself than ever before
As I spent more time alone myself, I grew closer to myself. I started enjoying myself more on my own, which decreased my desire for a romantic relationship. I grew to love myself. I started to feel safer as a person as I made a connection with my inner self. I started to feel more secure in myself. I felt more assured of myself.
Deeper connections with both yourself and others can be made when you practise self-love. As your relationship with yourself develops, so do your relationships with others.
How can you then begin to love yourself more? Start making everyday decisions for yourself and acting accordingly.
Make it a habit to check in with yourself each time you have to make a choice or decision.
You start by asking yourself: In this circumstance, what would feel loving?
Once you know the solution, pose these three crucial queries to yourself:
Does it feel right or nice to me?
Can it help me?
Will it give me a boost of energy?
These queries will support you in remaining honest and kind to yourself while respecting your needs and those of others.
I have a lot more I would like to say on this, but I'll save it for another article.
Let me just suggest that practising self-love will change your life.