Hey Bestie,
I could not sleep the other night. My mind was going 1000 miles per hour and I kept tossing and turning. Initially I had my whole morning plan that I would get up early like 7 AM, hit the gym, and lock TF in on work. Recently I have taken all a handful of things and the expansion is being stretched like no other. I notice that I am going back to the feeling that there is a lot to do and nothing is getting done. I am my worst critic. Pushing out way more content than before, supporting a new brand, tapping into a new role, plus growing at the salon. All things that I know are leading me to something great. And yet, I am still wanting more. Are the bills getting paid yes, however there is also that feeling of being limited. Bestie have you ever had that feeling of being tired of your situation? You are doing all the work, making sure your responsibilities are being handled and there is nothing left over. I am someone that loves to treat herself to luxury services (nails, wax, facials, massage) and over the past 3 years I had to do a hard pause. Because I had to choose to put gas/ get groceries, or go to girls dinner. Yes I believe that there will be seasons you have to cut back, take the pay cut and step into something uncomfortable. I am so grateful I have the necessities. It has also made me grateful that when I am expanding my wealth. I will not forget these times. Or take it for granted. Maybe that what this season in my life is trying to show me.
NGL, I write these newsletters feeling that I am talking to a wall. That maybe what I am doing is not working. Maybe I should go back to a 9-5 and forget about the podcast, newsletter, hair all together. How much more do I need to do before my break? What is the feedback telling me?
I am tired bestie.
Tired of not having enough so I can do more. Tired of the silence. Tired of feeling alone. Nobody tells you about how lonely it can be. That you are in a constant battle with the negative thoughts in your mind. A part of you wanting you to keep pushing, and the other voice telling you to jut give up, that you are wasting your time.
Have you felt this before? Like you are wasting your time?
The funny part is, I wonder if I was able to do all my beauty appointments, be recognized, have the money...Wold I truly be happy? Or would I try to scan my reality for what I am lacking or that I want more? That it is STILL not enough, right now I say no. But there has been instances I would do something small for me and I would instantly think there is something still missing. WOW, I am deff experiencing some big feelings right now, this entrepreneur world is a roller coaster and it could be that there are some big decisions I have to make and the questions, doubt, and fear are rushing to my mind.
For anyone that is reading this, I hope you know that if you are having low moments...congrats you actually give a F about what you are doing. I know you want to make a difference in your life and others. I know that there is more to the narrative you are telling yourself. What I will tell you is that this feeling will try to come back, it is all about how you handle this. It is all about you taking control back in your mind. You are capable of doing hard things. You are someone that is destined to be great. I am telling you this because I am going through this right now with you. This newsletter is an opportunity for me to be transparent. Not everything needs to be put together, you may not have the answer to everything.
That. Is. OKAY
As you go through this week. Don't forget to relax. Remind yourself that you are going to be unstoppable and this is all a part of the plot. Dam bestie we are thriving. You may not be able to see it, heck I know I struggle myself sometimes to see all the great things we are moving towards. But the invisible progress is real. Compounding over time with every action we are deciding to take.