heya! long time no post, BMC.
i'm keeping things short: in the past couple of months, i experienced a really bad fallout with a friend group, and— not to blame them; they were really good friends, i just messed up that bad— it's been detrimental to my mental health. i also admittedly have trouble with emotional attachment and regulation, so much so that it affects both one, my way of consuming media, oftentimes leading to me avoiding traditional media like shows, movies, and sometimes even games altogether; and two, my interactions, conversations, and behaviors around most people, such as my family and my aforementioned friends.
at the end of the day, i decided self-awareness wasn't going to be enough, and i wanted to improve myself. i deduced the first step— which i'd been delaying for a looong time—would inevitably be seeking help in the form of a psychiatrist.
as reflected on my page, i've set a goal of at least $225 (..? or $250, i don't really recall), with the following breakdown:
$50 x 4 = $200 - therapy sessions for 1mo. (1hr with a specialist, once a week)
$2 x 8 = $16 - commute costs (round trip)
$9(+) - misc. fees (personal use; e.g. food, leisure, etc.)
of course, if i make less (or more) than this, i will be adjusting the breakdown accordingly, but i'd like to at least afford one session before mid-august (which is start of my final year of college) totaling to at least $54, leaving me with a month and a half to find potential clients.
just to clear some things up (Q&A):
don't you still live with your parents? can't they support you?
imma be real gang. the expenses my family has had just this year is kinda insane.
in the last 6 months, we have had house repairs, plus several clinic visits, especially for my eye (i wear a prosthetic) and my mom's upkeep post-recovery. the latter has bills that can cost as high as $400 or more. (my prosthetic eye alone cost $250.) this doesn't count meds.
cost of living (e.g. groceries and bills) is also just really high rn, so i don't really wanna add to that, even if this is not that "big" of a cost in comparison.
also, my parents have a trip to the US to visit some family, which (in our currency) is really, really costly... so i'm really driving in the financial burden here
mental health is also really stigmatized where i live 👍
even if my parents could afford to send me, i don't think they'd do it lol
why? on the principle of thinking it's a waste, because to them i'm "smart" or "can function well" enough to assimilate myself. (spoiler: it's not really about that)
don't you have savings of your own?
yes, i have some money saved on hand, as well as a bank account specifically for savings.
as you can imagine, though, it'd get drained really easily once i factor in unlisted necessities (i.e. medications, food, organization fees). even without those (and even while being relatively frugal), my on-hand savings would be gone in less than a month.
as for my bank account, i'm also saving for law school (or any other post-graduate study), for which some universities' tuition fees would drain the money in just one year.
can't you work some other way (i.e., get some kind of summer job)?
i wish, but most entry-level paying jobs where i live require that i have a bachelor's degree, which i won't get until next year at the earliest.
i'm also doing an internship this summer, and it's (surprise) unpaid! 🎉
my current training has 11 hr work days, 4 days a week. y'know. typical 40-hour work week eats up the time
this leaves only weekends free, which i then have to reserve for personal activities (i.e. clinic visits, leisure with family).
anyway that's enough of my sob story, please commission me so i can draw silly guys on government agency time 🙏