How to spot Red Flags in Dungeons and Dragons parties
Looking for a group to play with is like searching for a potential partner. If you need to understand this analogy then I recommend you go check out this fresh hellscape of a subreddit D&D Horror Stories. But be warned, once you go down that rabbit hole you might wish a Mind Flayer had taken over your body and wiped out any trace of what you see on there.
People can some times confuse “it’s a game of make believe” with “I can force others to play out my weird fantasies”. So how do we make sure we don’t find ourselves in someone else’s creepy mind palace while they describe, in detail, what the the BBEG is doing to your toes? Well we treat our first meet up like we would a first date and we look for red flags.
Here are some red flags to watch out for when joining your next D&D group:
No Session 0 — If you are simply thrust into the game with no talk of backstory or game introduction before your first real session, more than likely things are going to become confusing for everyone involved.
Long List of Banned Options — This doesn’t always spell disaster but very often if a lot of playable options are banned from the table without reason, like you’re playing a low magic setting, then the DM is not going open to player creativity and expression.
Lack of Respect for Others — Yes, people get excited and cut each other off some times. But if you see players or the DM manipulating or overriding others at the table, that’s a Red Flag.
Lack of Respect for Boundaries — If you notice the DM or players actively dismissing concerns about safety tools (if there are any), personal comfort, or sensitive topics, that’s a Red Flag.
DM Power Trips — When a DM who treats the game like their personal story rather than a collaborative experience, or who overrides player agency excessively, that's a Red Flag.
Favoritism — If certain players are consistently given special treatment while others are ignored or penalized, that’s a Red Flag.
Toxic Behavior — Excessive arguing, rules lawyering, gatekeeping, or dismissing new players’ ideas, Red Flag!
Unclear Expectations — If the group doesn’t communicate about playstyle, scheduling, rules, personal boundaries, personal expectations, and group dynamics, then they probably aren’t going to call someone out when there is toxic behaviour.
Hopefully this helps you find a table that suits you and your preferences. If you’ve found a table recently, I’d love to hear your story. How did you find them and how are you enjoying it so far?