The Duchess of Anticlere - 21

The Duchess of Anticlere - 21

Jul 05, 2022

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"Why are you hunting me?" Eldaline cried. "I am not the biggest liar in Tamriel. There is an Argonian fisherman in the Black Marsh who has lied about the size of everything he has ever caught. Earlier tonight I overheard Thane Erikur telling people that was his own hair. To say nothing of all the people who have tried to claim credit for my work. But I suppose they do not count as I killed them."

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"Oh, how ridiculous of me. How can I possibly expect you to understand when you are not a Lord of Oblivion?" said Mephala, still advancing towards her up the stairs of the high terrace. "The things you write help people to do such terrible things, Eldaline, or believe in preposterous miracles of love."

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"We could make people do terrible things and believe in preposterous miracles of love together, my dear champion. Why are you such a slave to duty? I watched as you lied to cover your tracks, and lied to protect your staff. I watched as you hopped into bed with that Imperial commander just to safeguard your position. Who would have thought you were capable of putting aside your fear of the enemy?"

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"Why don't you write for my glory? I would become ever so powerful. And you would benefit from so many gifts. And don't you worry about Mehrunes, that silly old Prince of Destruction, I'll sort him out if you just come along with me. Now, let's both promise: Friends forever! No cuddly stuff. Well, I can't promise that, you know how I get after a drink."

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"How can I?" Eldaline said.

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"Take my hand and swear fealty!" Ordered Mephala.

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"I shouldn't."

"Oh, but you should! I absolutely insist."

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"There." said Mephala, as Eldaline's hand clasped with surprising force around hers. "Now, I believe there's something you wanted to say to me."

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"Yes." Eldaline said. "Se-paem-iyanehte-ekroht. Meht-hefh-lam. Leh-iya-loh. Lyr-atayem. Doht-iyalar. I command you, be diminished."

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The pretend Duchess of Anticlere actually called Mephala drew back her hand and screamed loudly.

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"Did I say something wrong?" The Second Archivist asked.

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"What have you said? You said you didn't even know my neonymic... OH, YOU LIED, OH I SEE. OH YOU BLOODY BITCH."

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"I'm one of the best daedric summoners in Tamriel, as well as one of the biggest liars." said Eldaline. "Of course I know your complete nymic. Try to draw me into your realm of Oblivion, would you?"

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But the Daedric Prince of Lies was still not unguarded, as she could not help recalling.

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Mephala sank to the ground and gargled: "But, we were going to be best friends. Well, sort of. I was going to be your doting mistress and you were going to do everything I said."

"If I'm quite honest, it is nothing personal."

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Mephala's things were still hurrying up the stairs.

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"Get her!" shouted Mephala. "Tear her apart and get me her soul. That's the dirtiest lie anyone ever tells."

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She began to crawl around and, as commanded, diminish. The sun was rising and the distant roaring sea was turning to silver. "I can't believe you would do this just to get out of coming home with me. You could just have said No Thank You."

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"And then I would have abducted you but that's hardly the point."

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"I really am very sorry. Cower, before I send you after your mistress, daedric Things!"

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Eldaline shouted: "I can see you all milling around over there, you know. Do I have to fight all these things myself?"

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"No!" Skavild grunted, and pushed his sword through the back of the servant who was the closest to inconveniencing the Second Archivist.

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"Coming, Second Archivist!" said Aranwen, and happily slashed another down.

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Aralina helpfully sent the third Former Knight Of The Shining Phalanx back to Mephala's realm.

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Eldaline took a deep breath, and hoped very much that she looked as calm as she wanted to. "Aranwen, have you been playing with my Sload from Northwatch Keep?"

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"It was Skavild's idea, Second Archivist. He was convinced it was a Sload causing the problem, I told him No, but there was no stopping him. I knew it was a daedra."

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"I have just won a lying competition with the Daedric Prince of Lies, Aranwen."

"Yes, Second Archivist. Well done."

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Skavild examined the remains of the scene. "So that was Mephala. Where's she gone now?"

"Turned into a little spider." said Eldaline. "I put her under a cup."

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"You want me to get rid of her, I suppose?" he asked.

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"Don't hurt her. She's no danger to anybody in this state." said Eldaline. "Put her outside the city gates, and she'll make her own way home."

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"I'll get you for this, you rotter." said Mephala. "You'll serve me one day, mark my words! I've never been so furious in my whole existence. Well done for the big lie, though, I'll admit that I wasn't watching out for that. Oh, I say, there's half a grasshopper under here. Yum!"

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Aralina did not join in with the jubilation, or as Skavild would have called it, an argument, on the terrace. She had seen the ghost of Emperor Pelagius III climb the tallest stairs to observe the incident.

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He looked as though he had enjoyed it very much.

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In fact, it was the best Heart's Day he could remember. Nobody had ever been willingly married to him for this long before.

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"The lady who whispered!" Aralina explained breathlessly, as she alighted beside him on the terrace. "It was Mephala, the Prince of Lies! Now her spell upon Solitude is broken!"

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Pelagius said, "Hello, my beloved Aralina! Happy Heart's Day!"

And he disappeared.

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"Pelagius!" cried Aralina.

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She looked everywhere, but there was no sign of him.

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Aralina was not sure what she had expected, but at that moment the top of the Blue Palace felt a hundred leagues away from everywhere else.

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She went to rejoin the others. The sun was fully risen, now, but perhaps she could have the afternoon off. If the Second Archivist said yes, she would probably go swimming.

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concludes next time

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