Is true happiness even possible? Allow me to talk about ways to get more joy out of life.
Money ― No. But it sure buys a shitload of unhappiness repellent. That is, money buys security. When you never have to worry about being able to afford a medical bill or defaulting on your mortgage, you have much less to worry about, making room for happiness. Buying something for yourself gains some happiness, but it isn't true. Within weeks, days or even hours you're already wishing for something else to fill that happiness-void inside your heart.
Relationships ― Yes and no. Satisfying relationships not only make us happy, but they also influence our health such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, regular sex, and so on. But it’s also important to note that even with strong family bonds, good marriage, or romantic partnerships, it still doesn’t lead to a permanent happiness. Your family or partner can't deliver you a 'happily-ever-after' life. You—not your partner or your family members—are responsible for your own happiness.
DNA ― Maybe. Our happiness may be linked to our genetic makeup, according to researchers who carried out groundbreaking work in the area. But it’s impossible to modify our genes and boost our contentment. Maybe some people are born happier than others. Is there nothing we can do to change that? Depression is not that uncommon, especially today. But there are other ways.
Drugs ― Nope. They may buy you a brief respite from the demons who haunt your mind. Or they may give you an intense feeling of euphoria.
So how do you find true happiness?
Don't compare yourself to others
Easier said than done, but if you can avoid comparing yourself to someone else and be happy with who you are, it helps. But it's not enough to just be happy with yourself, you must also learn to be okay with who you are not. Don't build self-imposed expectations compared to someone else. Be okay with your limitations and accept yourself the way others do who love you do.
Take a break from social media
Social media isn’t inherently bad, but if scrolling through your feeds makes you feel left out and stressed, then take a break. That feed doesn’t tell the story about who you are. Ban yourself from social media a day or two. See if that makes a difference. And don't flame on someone who makes disparaging remarks about you. It's easy to get in a rage and that only makes you unhappy.
Take a break from your displays
Smart-phones, tablets, computers, even our watches, are big time sucks from being in the moment. Next time you’re alone, try turning off all your electronic tethers for an hour. Use this time to reconnect with yourself and let your mind wander. Don't panic about the silence, enjoy the moment.
Explore creative outlets
Cook, draw, paint, gardening, sculpting, etc... Don’t worry if you’re not good at it. The point is to try something new and different, to take a step outside your comfort zone. If art isn't your thing, then take on a home improvement project. Or learn to play an instrument. Or do what I like to do, draft a short story. Enroll in a class and learn a new skill. If you don’t like something, move on to something else.
Exercise
Intense exercise releases endorphins in your brain and makes you feel happy. It's tough getting into a routine and if you’re new to exercise, then start easy. A few minutes a day, first thing in the morning. Increase your activity each day. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day. There's always tomorrow.
Spend time with nature
Seriously, go outside. Lounge in the backyard and absorb the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. Feel the breeze on your face as you listen to the birds. Find a pond or other body of water and just observe the rippling surface. Water has a way of calming the mind. Research shows that just 30 minutes a week spent in nature can improve symptoms of depression and lower blood pressure
Acknowledge things you’re grateful for
Research shows that being grateful for even the small things in life can boost feelings of happiness and hopefulness. We usually take things for granted. Give a little time to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. They don't have to be mind-blowing things. Be thankful for that first cup of coffee or tea in the morning. The next time you’re feeling down, remind yourself of things you have going for you.
Give yourself a break
Sometimes we can be pretty harsh on ourselves. Self-judgement can eat away at our self-confidence and happiness. When your inner critic comes to call, don't get sad or angry. Acknowledge it, but then focus on your surroundings for a moment without any thoughts. It does no good to keep beating yourself up. Try to remember the good qualities you possess.
Shake up your routine
Freshen things up. Rearrange your furniture or paint a wall. Start a garden, clean and declutter, or find a new coffee shop. See if there’s something you can change to pull yourself out of that rut.
What about you?
Is there something you do to help improve your happiness? I'd love to hear your thoughts.