My head hurts from hitting a proverbial wall for far too long. My body, mind, and inner being are worn out from this battle. Every day is the same challenge, acceptance from a society that I am autistic.
My thought process of doing things like neurotypicals is not going to happen. I was born with my brain wired this way. I silently scream each waking day, hoping I will find my place in this world.
I am past the half-century mark in age. Autism has kicked my ass since being a child. I am an oddball. Society steers clear of me because they can tell I am “off.” No, I am not different or unique, my mind and my reactions see things in a slightly different scope.
Autistics faces this battle daily. I know other marginal groups that face the same if not worse discrimination too. It is tiring for all of us. It should not be like this but humans it appears will not or refuse to accept “differences.”
It is sad because all marginal groups viewed as “different,” offer gifts the world needs. We are thought-provoking, talented, and creative and will help make living better. However, history shows elitism is seemingly what holds power and control over the masses.
Elitists do not want a better world. It would overstep their power structure, meaning, having to share space with the rest of us. Equality will not happen for all of us, only the chosen few who deem it.
I read daily, about the countless struggles facing autistics. It is not getting better. There is the societal guise of “Awareness,” to point out autistics exists, but that is as far as it goes. There is barely talk of us, as autistics, being helped or accepted. It feels like a pat on the head like we are dogs.
If we behave, we are acknowledged as being good and obedient humans. If autistics make a stink and demand true change, we are deemed as problematic, and we should be silenced.
I am not asking neurotypicals to act differently towards autistics. Do not feel the need to tippy toe and not ask questions in fear you might hurt our feelings. We want people to ask us questions. This is how learning about other groups of individuals. Keep an open ear, heart, and be willing to listen when an autistic wants to speak. We convey our thoughts a little differently, so keep an open mind. And most of all, be patient.
If we all could sit, listen, and learn from each other, society would probably run much smoother. Of course, the elite in our society does not want better for anyone but themselves.
My hope and goal is one day to gain acceptance for being me, an autistic. I promise I have much to give. I am more than a defect and a waste of space.