Let's do 5 - A spiral of thoughts - So o ...

Let's do 5 - A spiral of thoughts - So often, Blind, Defining me, Easy, Feels fake

Jul 13, 2021

For this Monday's Release I chose a song called "Anxiety"

Having Anxiety I can tell you that I have written a lot of songs and poems as I was in that sentiment.

A lot of them are not that hopeful. I would like to see if I can turn them into a positive as much as I can but only because I am starting to believe that going back to "craft" them, I can heal what I was feeling then and might otherwise feel again.

For today I thought I would share a couple of my shorter poems that are just not positive at all.
There is no hopeful message, there is no twist to the storyline, it's just pure anxiety.

So often

So often
I've had tears
falling down

For the very same reason

I had no one
to dry em out

To hold me
the long cold night


Don't know
what people see in me
want from me
do to me

I feel like
when I step outside
don't see a thing

I guess I'm blind

Defining me

how you act
define you
to the core

But no defining
left in me
as I experience
no more


It seems easy
so easy
to be okay

But everyday
I pray...

For happiness
to stay

Feels fake

Glossy eyes
no life inside
feels so fake
to be alive

Fall asleep
is hard to do
but I feel the same
about waking too


Okay, I am sorry, those were pretty hard to chew. They are a little older, but I do still feel that way sometimes. Even after possibly having what felt like the best day of my life, it can be followed by a day where thoughts like that creep up on me. If you have moments, days like this, I am sorry you have
to go through them. But we get through them. You have gone through so many. And yes we hate them sometimes, but they have also somehow given us perspective and time... but they have also stolen time, yes...

It's a difficult subject. I want to learn how to speak about the struggle as I do this. So I don't know how to heal anything but I am looking to connect and to help you not feel alone. Because that is what it does most. It creates the one thing we don't like, loneliness. You are not alone.

I am here, so do reach out if you want to in the comments (maybe this is better than DM's or mailing because we can start a more private community here... Just a thought.

Also, I google-searched "A spiral of thoughts" and was directed to the article
What is Catastrophic Thinking? (And How to Stop) on Talk Space

"An anxiety spiral — also known as “catastrophic thinking” or “magnifying,” — often occurs alongside anxiety and depression. Think of your brain as a rocky mountain: one single distressing thought loosens an avalanche of related anxieties." (this is copied from their article)

Maybe you find this article interesting...

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Ah the crispy sound of a brand new book. The smell and touch of grainy recycled brown pages... A hard cover, made/ready to be judged.

Mm, maybe you can help direct me here to a creator who might help bring the poems to life with drawings and help design the cover... Or do you want to collab?!

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