Women are still socialized to be mothers and wives. I have a Master’s degree. I love to read and keep informed. I educate myself in many different ways: through books, articles, podcasts, news shows, social media. I marvel at the sheer amount of information that is available to us today.
Yet I’ve been told by people very close to me - not just men - that I would never find a boyfriend because I am too educated. Is this 2023?
“You read too much”, “you have too many opinions”, “no boy will want to be with you”, those are a few of the things that I have been told because of my advanced degree and the fact that I carry a book wherever I go. It’s true that books are starting to be criminalized nowadays, but still, it hardly feels like I live in the 21st century. And apparently, the most important thing a woman should strive for in life is to have a boyfriend. Forget education, forget a career, forget her own dreams and happiness.
For all the leaps and bounds forwards we’ve achieved as women, we are still seen as wives and mothers, or potential wives and mothers. That perception is especially hard to change when men themselves have not been asked to change their own perspective on their own lives. So we are still asked to perform the duties of the caretaker and at the same time, be a provider to the household. But we cannot out-earn our male partner, otherwise that would go against the cultural norms. Hence the idea that being too educated would not land us a husband. It’s a vicious circle.
Being in a heterosexual relationship is still the main focus of society. How many times do people ask me, “are you seeing anybody?” when we meet for coffee, or dinner. If I say no, it’s the “don’t worry it’s gonna happen soon”, or the “ better hurry up and have kids before it’s too late”. Are women still only wombs and caretakers? We are whole individuals with passions, dreams, hobbies. We have friends, families, communities. Still, the only relationship that seems to matter is a romantic one.
No matter what we do, no matter what we accomplish, no matter how happy we are with our lives, it will never be enough if we don’t get married and we don’t have kids. Women are still not seen as whole human beings on their own. We are still the second sex, shadows of men.
--
view on the blog