To add my thoughts to yesterday's "brain dump" post, if you didn't read that, please click here and try to comment to answer the questions that I posed in that brain dump post.
Today, I wanted to share how I try to define good or bad. The basics for me seem to align with this page I found about Matthew Chapter7 where it essentially lays out all of the things I was taught as a young child:
Do unto others as you would have others do to you.
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all (although I think it was the Disney film 'Bambi' from way back in the day that taught me that; I think it's Thumper's parents saying this)
Be respectful and kind to others. (open doors, say please, and thank you, etc)
I was raised with a lot of the Christian belief systems, and most of them honestly seem to teach you to have good intentions. While I cannot say what someone's intentions are toward me, I will know it by the way I feel around them.
Since human beings are a roller coaster of emotions, especially when not grounded in something larger than ourselves, it may be difficult to discern which emotion to deal with. I'll talk about that another day. For today, I want to share how you can tell if something is good or bad by the standards I've started to realize I use, after I was challenged to start defining things as good or bad by my partner:
I define someone as good or bad (light or dark) based on the results of those around them. Are people around them, connected closely to them, getting better or worse? Are they getting better or worse? I say if people around the person are starting to get better in their lives, then it seems that person is good-intentioned.
Here's a good example: you are a parent and have to give what's called some tough love to your child. This is difficult for parents who love their kids deeply, but it is necessary for their growth. If you're giving some tough love and struggling to do it, but your child is starting to get better in whatever ways you'd hoped for, then I can define that as good.
If the opposite is true, and your child is getting worse, well then I believe a discussion needs to be had, and you will have to discern this. What variables are involved in the child's world? If the child is an adult, then they are influenced by far more than just you, and they are now out there with their own wings (even if they still live at home) to figure the world out. They need their space and time to fall down and get back up.
I have opinions on adult children, for I have seen examples of not letting your kids fall down on their path, and coddling them turns to having adult kids who cannot fend for themselves, are overly emotional, and some lean into a life of crime - not a good result, right?
Either way, it is not on my heart to JUDGE another person for what I might see as bad or good; it is still just that person's journey towards getting closer to God (or Spirit, insert the word that works for you here).
I can share my definitions of good or bad; I can base them on the legal rules in our society, I can base them on the Christian rules of society, I can base them on some other set of rules out there, too! The point is that you need to have some sort of system that you use as a means to always refer to when trying to define a choice as good or bad - not a choice of someone else, but YOUR DECISION!
Remember, it is only YOU that can hold YOU accountable to live and abide by the RULES of good or bad based on the belief system or commandments you have aligned yourself with. I will ask that if your commandments or "belief system" that you've been using has only led to more pain than goodness, that you become open to trying on a new belief system or label to see if that doesn't help you harvest more fruits this season in life.
By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
End today pondering the thought about what type of tree grows the best fruit? I say it tends to the soil first for a solid foundation before it attempts to go into the world and become more than just a bare tree.
That's all for today.
Thank you for reading, and do share your comments below. I am always open to a good conversation; be KIND and remember we are all living different experiences in this world.
If this resonated with you, please click to buy me a coffee or become a member. It helps pay for fuel to eat my home, food for the table, and goodness for others I share my life with. Be blessed.