This last month was painful.
Painful does not mean bad.
Pain is a way for us to feel that something is wrong and start acting to change that.
My pain about the world was always there woven together with love for life, love of life, sheer amazement and awe at the beauty of life. Both parts of the same fabric.
Now the pain has become so big it demanded a catalytic shift in my system
I knew I needed to act or I would collapse.
The UN Commission of Inquiry finally concluded, what for many was obvious for months: that Israel is committing genocide against Palestinian population.
It is now estimated by some researchers that even as many as 680.000 people have already died in Gaza in the last 2 years as a consequence of Gaza's siege and bombardment by Israel. The current "official" toll is 64,718 Palestinians killed in Gaza and 163,859 injured.
We read that and we see numbers. 64 thousand or maybe 680 thousand. Just few black figures on a white screen. We go on and read some other numbers and some other letters.
And yet.
Each child, woman and man - a precious life that could be ours.
That could be our daughter, our uncle, our mother.
And it is not about Palestine only.
The same atrocities are happening in so many other locations, many of them getting much less media attention.
All of this is fuelled by our taxes, by our consumer choices, by our quiet complicity.
“Its complicated”
“I cannot do anything about this. I feel helpless”
I heard those phrases so many times.
I repeated them myself.
Today I want to share with you two things.
What your heart says is not complicated.
It might say:
“I do not want any people to be killed”
Or
“I do not want any children to be killed”
Or
“I want this to stop”
It doesn't have to be rational, it might not even seem possible.
It doesn't matter.
If you follow what your heart says, you will feel a huge relief.
Relief of being in integrity.
Joy of expressing and acting upon your values even if it seems crazy.
If you act according to what your heart says, there is nothing to lose, because you are whole, and no one can take this away from you.
How about “I feel helpless”?
I felt that way too. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Depressed.
Or numb. Not feeling anything. Shutting my heart down to survive.
I do not want to do that anymore.
In the last week of August I saw a message from a woman in one of the local online groups.
She said: “I cannot stand this. I want to do something about what’s happening in Palestine”. I felt so much anger immediately about the silence around that topic and I immediately replied that I also want that. We met - a few strangers moved by the same pain. We organised a solidarity action with Gaza the same Sunday at the beach.
We expected a few people to show up, as Aljezur is a small village and not particularly known for social actions.
Over 100 people showed up.
We walked with banners. We sang. We shared our stories, our grief, the actions we are taking.
And it gave us fuel to do more. Many people started reaching out to us wanting to take action.
Now we are a much bigger group organising solidarity events, awareness events, protests and actions to influence our governments to take action and stop the genocide.
I am telling you this because your pain matters.
Because your anger matters.
Because they are your fuel to take action that can transform lives.
This day at the beach 100 hearts were transformed, inspired and energised to take action.
And even if this seems little, what I am hearing from Palestinians over and over, is that they feel so abandoned, so stripped of their dignity and hope, that the sheer fact that someone is crying for them, caring for them, talking about them is a thread of love they can hang onto into those darkest of times.
Last week I wrote:
“I feel anger that we can divide children into mine and not mine, as a way of shedding responsibility for what is in front of us and asking for care. For me - the land I am taking care of/living in now is “mine” (and I am “hers”) - because I take and share responsibility for her (I do not own this land). It is there and I choose to be responsible for it. The pigs I was taking care of all summer were mine and I was theirs (although they are not “my pigs”). The same way I choose to be responsible for people who are dying now on the other side of the world. Even if it hurts so much, and even if what I can do about it seems little.”
We are continuing our actions with Aljezur for Peace.
I just arrived in Poland and will organise actions as long as I am here. To raise awareness. To raise funds for people in Gaza. To say out loud what I am a ”YES” and “NO” for.
I do not know what your heart tells you to do.
It might seem little.
It might seem irrelevant.
It might seem irrational.
But I beg you - listen to your heart.
***
Actions that I am taking to support Palestine and that you can also support:
Evacuating Palestinian students that have scholarships at the UK universities with Phoenix Space.
This week alone we managed to evacuate 30 students.
It is extremely difficult to evacuate people from Gaza.
You can support us here: https://paypal.com/donate/?campaign_id=K9C5P92G87X7Q&source=url
This week in Aljezur we are raising money for Al Amal Institute for Orphans
They are currently supporting many children who have been separated from their families and those whose parent(s) or caregiver(s) have been killed. Their building in Gaza city was targeted directly by the IDF earlier this year but they still continue to provide support to many children and some mothers under constant bombing.
***
If you feel inspired by the actions I am taking and you want to support it, please consider becoming a regular member.
I will continue taking actions and writing about the things I care about.
I send you Love and Strength for those times.
Berenika