Baranya Tamás
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Sep 18, 2021

Hello Friends,

I'd like to ask a little more of your patience if you can't wait to read more of my comics. I've been through a rough couple of weeks due to my cat's illness. This post is mainly about her and how we had to say goodbye to her on the 16th. So if you're interested, here's the story.

I had pets before but no loss hit me as hard as Harma's passing. She was a street cat and lived around the house where I was lodging at the time. There were like four or five other cats. I feel sorry for every one of them, it's hard for them to live in an urban setting even if the residents give them food sometimes. Harma was this gray little cat always having an indifferent expression on her face. To be honest she didn't look very nice. At one time she had two kittens. They were both white with gray patches on them. I hope someone took them in. As time passed Harma got sicker and sicker. I saw her with one eye swollen really bad and I thought she would die very soon. This was almost three years ago. One time as my girlfriend Anna and I left the house, Harma came to us like she was asking for help. I thought about taking her to the vet before, but this was a definite sign that we must do it. I ran for a cat carrier (I had more than one because I already had two cats) and we took her to a doctor. She was in a really bad shape but with medication and surgery she got close to being healthy. I say this, because her digestion never was very healthy, but having good food to eat, it got a bit better over time. Naming her was a split second decision, because we had to give a name at the vet when they entered her into the system. I was learning Finnish at the time and Anna came up with the idea that we should name her "gray" but in Finnish, which is Harmaa. So she became Harma. We asked for donations for her surgery and some nice people came to her aid and helped. At this point we didn't mean to keep her, we just wanted to help and give her away. Anna gave her the medicines she needed and as a result Harma became afraid of her. I felt so sorry for Anna. Imagine nursing an animal back to health and in turn it becomes fearful of you. Not long after Anna and I moved in together so we had my two original cats Béka and Tojgli and Harma. Anna also had two cats but they passed tragically in two separate accidents. Both of them were hit by a car at exactly the same spot. Tojgli and Harma hated each other from the start and it was very stressful having two cats constantly hissing at and attacking each other. I put up a post on Facebook that we're looking for a new owner for Harma, but I realized I didn't want to give her away. She found her way into my heart. Imagine having a cat who's life purpose is to lie in the sun and snuggle with you. Harma came to me at least two times a day. I had to lie on the bed and she climbed onto my chest to get stroked and sleep. I just couldn't give her away. Tojgli and Harma never became friends but got close to tolerating each other. Harma really enjoyed life. That's all you need to know about her.

In the past few weeks her breathing got worse and worse. They diagnosed her with a lot of illnesses but we never really found out what the main problem was. She probably had cancer. They could only keep her in a kind of okay condition in the hospital. There was a tumor in her throat and probably in her lungs as well. She couldn't really eat and at the end she was very thin and frail. The worst thing is that I think she would've wanted to go on. She was strong despite the hardships she went through. In the hospital they said that we should make a decision. There was still a small hope of helping her with a surgery. But when they put her to sleep for the operation they saw the tumor in her throat and said it can't be removed. So I made the decision to not wake her up. I'm devastated to put it mildly. I didn't want her to suffocate or starve to death. These were the other options.

Harma lived her best life with us and I hope she's in a better place now. I never believed in afterlife or anything like that, but I hope we'll meet again. Strange. I never thought that anyone would wait for me on the other side, but now I have this feeling. Even if it's just my mind trying to ease the grief. I absolutely knew that this day would come, but it's still a hard pill to swallow.

I made a small drawing last night about her. Good bye my little friend!

I still left some work that I absolutely need to finish before I can get back to drawing some fresh comics.

See you soon,


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