Hi Baddies,
The fog has lifted, finally!
The 75 hard challenge has kept me accountable and I have learned that I CAN exercise twice a day, I CAN make space for meditation, I CAN eat well and drink 4 litres of water a day even if it felt like I couldn’t get out of bed.
It’s funny how we believe our thoughts to be true, when really they are just disorganised, inner ramblings that are filtered through unique lenses. Thoughts are trying to keep us safe but they need to be observed and we need to practice discernment between truth and untruth, and that’s how to organise them, that is how we access our wisdom.
One of the most important practices and tools I’ve been using to heal from my breakup is the practice of Gratitude.
Listen to the Science of Gratitude podcast before opting into this challenge so that you can understand how to practice Gratitude effectively and to change your perspective.
The Science of Gratitude and How to Build a Gratitude Practice
So I propose to you - 30 days of an effective gratitude practice.
Some key points from the podcast: (from the shownotes)
The brain responds similarly to joy and gratitude
Gratitude is not about “fake it till you make it” – giving and receiving thanks and gratitude must be genuine to get the benefits
Most gratitude practices of writing or thinking about things you are grateful for will not actually lead to any positive benefits or changes in brain circuitry
True gratitude practice is really about associating or experiencing empathy or sympathy for someone who received help – whether it’s help you gave or help you heard about given to someone you connect with
A regular (and correct) gratitude practice can shift connectivity of emotions to reduce anxiety and fear pathways, increase motivation and pursuit pathways, and decrease inflammatory cytokines – amongst other physiological benefits
Unlike other practices (such as mediation or breathwork), the positive effects of gratitude practice are felt almost instantly (60-90 seconds) making it sustainable to incorporate regularly
Steps for a scientifically grounded gratitude practice: (1) Think about (or find from podcast, movie, etc.) a story in which someone received help or you received thanks; (2) Write a few notes about the story such as what the struggle was, what the help was, and how it made you feel; (3) Repeatedly reflect on the story, really connecting with it for a few minutes
Components of ideal gratitude practice: you must genuinely and emotionally associate with the story, reflect on the story 1-5 minutes, practice 3x per week
The Tenants of an effective practice:
In order to activate gratitude circuits, one needs to put themselves in the mindset of another or directly receive gratitude
We want to receive gratitude but it’s not practical to sit around and wait
Gratitude practice is not simply writing down or thinking about things you are grateful for
Arouse autonomic nervous system for increased benefit: in states of heightened alertness, the intensity of emotion and effectiveness of gratitude practice are enhanced
Example: intense breathing then write things out or say them out loud
The most potent form of gratitude practice is one in which you receive thanks – for example, hearing a kind letter written about you
Reading or hearing stories: association or experiencing empathy or sympathy for someone who received help – example, stories of people saved during the war
Tips for an effective gratitude practice:
Option 1. Find someone whose story resonates with you – whether they are getting or receiving help; choose a book, podcast, movie, etc.
Option 2. Reflect and really think about a time in which you receive thanks – write out what the struggle was, what the help was, and how it made you feel
Then: Write notes and read them or think about that story over and over – even just 1-3 minutes
The more you read & reflect on the notes or take in stories, the faster you will sink into gratitude and until its almost immediate (unlike meditation or similar practices)
Having a story you resonate with and return to creates a physiological shift in heartbeat and breathing
We must give wholeheartedly for the receiver to feel gratitude completely
Today I started my gratitude practice by sitting with my heart and my feelings and sending a few messages out that were authentic and genuine to some people who have really supported me lately. It was like opening the flood gates, as soon as I let the energy of gratitude flow, I started to recognise how incredibly blessed I am in this life, and how many beautiful people I have around me. When I reached out from this loving and grateful space, I received the same energy in return and it has left me feeling so inspired and creative and joyful.
Connection is vulnerable, it’s not always comfortable to be so openly loving with people around us.
So will you join me?
Love,
Eve x